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INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY? OR MAYBE NIGHT? IT ALL SEEMS TO BE BLENDING TOGETHER WHEN YOU DON’T GO OUTSIDE ANYMORE.
The PRODUCER is at the control panel, having an animated conversation with…someone inside the recording booth. DJ 3000 looks on in concern, because the recording booth appears to be empty.
PRODUCER: …I get it. I really do. Your argument is that at the end of the day, if you don’t have a weapon that can compete with Tyreek Hill, you can’t compete with the Chiefs.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: And if you can’t compete with the Chiefs, you can’t win the division.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: And if you can’t win the division, you won’t have any success in the playoffs.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: And if you can’t make any noise in the playoffs, then you aren’t going to have much luck developing a loyal fanbase in your new city.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: And without a loyal fanbase on a local level, you’re pretty much screwed because the travel industry is going to be absolutely destroyed over the next few years.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: And neither you OR the city of Las Vegas will be able to make your bond payments, which will then go into default, which will put the team’s finances under an incredible amount of strain.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: Which will force you to limit your spending in free agency, which will leave your roster with holes that put your further back from a competitive standpoint, leading to even less fan engagement at a time when you need it most.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: And since that football team is your only tangible asset, those team finances are pretty much your finances, and the NFL will start to pressure you to sell the team.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: And since any potential buyers are going to know that they have you over a barrel, their offers will be laughably low. But you’ll have no choice, and so you’ll have to sell a majority stake in your team for essentially peanuts.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: Right.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: Sure.
EMPTY BOOTH: …
PRODUCER: I know! I get it, I really do. I’m just saying – and please accept this in the spirit in which it’s intended – that you’ll never dispel the reputation of being the “same old Raiders” when you haunt your son’s dreams and demand that they pick the fastest player in the draft. Again.
Today’s theme is: Speed. Songs about things that are fast. Also if the topic seems a little too thin then feel free to throw in some picks about speed the drug. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=’Sam30ldRa!deRS” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Have at it!
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