[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

So, one of the fun things about the apocalypse was the fact that I didn’t have to go anywhere or do anything. Aside from doing my job, I didn’t have to interact with any other members of the human race outside of my immediate family.

But our washing machine broke. I made a call to a friend who runs an appliance repair business, told him the circumstances & sent him a video clip of the machine in action.

He diagnosed it as more “dying” than “broken”, and because it was a 15 year-old machine (Kenmore RIP) he recommended replacement. So we spent the day going to appliance stores – an essential service in BC, not unlike the WWE in Florida – to find the brand & style we wanted. Our criteria was short:

• No LG or Samsung
  • they have flooded the market, but their product has mostly been shit, according to my friend (& discreetly confirmed by the salespeople)
• Stackable
  • to save space, & allow WineWife to keep her wine fridge nearby.
• Price must include installation & removal of the old machines
  • It can be an add-on, but I’m not hooking that shit up. I earn money to pay for the privilege of not doing that myself.

And within five hours we were successful, which was the real victory. Sure, I never want to have to drop two grand on anything, but I could at least reconcile the fact it was a necessary spend, as opposed to a frivolous spend.

Plus, there’s the appliance porn. It started with the $4300 built-in espresso machine,

then graduated to the $11,000 installed rotisserie machine,

and ended with the $20,000 Aga stove,

which WineWife assures is a kick-ass device but to me seems like a waste of $15,000 that could instead go to something frivilous.

Tonight’s … entertainment?:

• Bob’s Burgers – 9:00PM | FOX / City
  • Louise must face her fear of public pooping when her class goes on an overnight trip to the aquarium. Meanwhile, Linda enlists the family to make a video for her parents’ anniversary.
• The Last Dance – ESPN / Netflix Canada (released at mindight)
  • Episode 5 – 9:00PM
    • As Michael Jordan’s fame peaked to unparalleled levels in the early 1990s in the wake of consecutive NBA titles and a starring role on the Olympic Dream Team, his image as “Air Jordan” made him a profoundly significant cultural figure.
  • Episode 6 – 10:00PM
    • With Michael Jordan’s extraordinary fame came extraordinary scrutiny, and in 1993, it all felt like it came to a head with the Chicago Bulls’ pursuit of a third straight title shadowed by question marks about Jordan’s gambling.
• Westworld – 9:00 PM | HBO
  • “Crisis Theory” – It’s time to face the music.
• Rick and Morty – 11:30PM | Cartoon Network / Adult Swim Canada
  • “Never Ricking Morty.” – Rick and Morty encounter an animal with magic powers during one of their space adventures.

CBS has just given up, and scheduled “Raiders of the Lost Ark” for their primetime window. So we now know who was first to run out of new episodes. Honestly, they’d get more viewers with their 1970s “Norman Lear” lineup of “All In The Family”, “The Jeffersons”, “Maude” and “Good Times”.