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Holy shit we’re in May already! And today just happens to be Star Wars Day!
I don’t have really much to say today. Apparently, Amazon Prime only had the Bond films included for the month of April. It looks like it was the same thing for the Pluto TV thing I was checking out that had a 007 channel.
That means I may have to figure out a way to rewatch the Bond films of the 80s so I can continue with that series. Don’t worry, folks, I’m on the case!
At the very least, I may be able to find a Bond porn parody on Pornhub or Xvideos…
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The Week in DFO
These are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:
Let’s start things off with a reminder that the Cannonball Run movies were awesome:
and a reminder that we are anxiously awaiting the debut of the Hippo Judges Your Fetish posts:
Why is it that Madeline Kahn and Bernadette Peters both so do it completely for me? I’m not even into blondes or redheads that much.
Viva La Tabula Raza
They are beautiful and smart and funny and talented and only one of them is dead.
SonOfSpam
So that’s enough, innit?
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I see Ratt’s financial advisor took off with all their 90’s money.
Horatio
What goes around, comes around.
Gumbygirl
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Just picked up food from our local Japanese place. Aki was telling me that the gig delivery services take 20 percent of sales so he decided that if anyone went to their website which offers free delivery he would give the customers the 20% as a discount.
Litre_cola
Aki 100% has my business going forward. Good lad.
I always pick up myself or have the place deliver directly. GrubHub and UberEats gouge the restaurants. Fuck ’em.
Horatio
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The threat of sending people to nursing homes carries a lot more weight these days
Gratliff
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Math is hard!
Gumbygirl
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It’s been six months since I last drank a beer on my deck while doing a crossword while bathing in sunshine. I feel good right now. Real good.
scotchnaut
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I remember the 80’s for the scare of nuclear weapons and the very real possibility that a nuclear exchange could happen at any time.
Brick
I remember it mostly because I was one of the guys who would have launched the nuclear MIRV-tipped Trident SLBM rockets. Well, I wouldn’t have, but the Weaponettes up forward would have, using the 250v 60Hz AC and the 120v DC main electric power, plus the 400Hz static-inverted weapons power, plus the 3000psi hydraulic system, plus the 4500psi stepped-down compressed air system we provided from back aft in Engineering. In fact, fuck those guys we were the real heroes.
AC is so lazy though, it just ends up back where it started.
herodotus450
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I swear to God, as someone in a position of ‘essential work’ if someone tried to take my picture after a 10 hour shift I’d cough in their stupid face.
Buddy
I’m also really tired of being told who my heroes should be and that technically I am one. I’ll keep that in mind as I develop heat rash while unloading the fifth trailer filled with gaming chairs that are all being sent priority air. No one is getting ‘essential’ shit and you’re a rube if you think they ever were.
Any other time of the year I’m a degenerate who unloads trucks because he hates school a little bit more than this job but now because some bat virus has gripped the world I’m a conditional hero. Fuck off.
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On a conference call and someone asked what the policy is about coming back to the office if they’ve been diagnosed with Covid-19.
Horatio
Me: “Fucking don’t. Next?”
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I’ll always treasure the day I got into StubHub Field in Carson and saw a Miami Dolphins home game against the Chargers, and midway through the second quarter I realized that the Miami quarterback was the cat himself, Jay Cutler. At the end of the game, he was the very first player off the field and into the tunnel, directly beneath my seat. That was like watching the moon landing, folks.
Brick
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Life is one big Jay Cutler gif, and no one should be surprised by anything except the marriage lasted this long.
TheRevanchist
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Ummm, YOU DIDNT HAVE MY ADDRESS RIGHT!!! Do you know how long the avenue I live on is? It spans over 100 blocks!?!?! I am now out of weed and one cannot subsist on wine and edibles alone especially with your nephew who is a toddler lunatic.
Litre_cola
There were plenty of numbers available to them. And like I mentioned, the coitus parties would lead them right to you.
BC Dick
Hopefully the next one gets there. I think I double checked that it was all there. Though, I was sure on the first one, too.
Plenty of numbers available to them. I just snort-laughed and scared my cat! Of all the Dicks in BC, you sir, are the Dickiest!
Gumbygirl
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I just agreed to let this website use cookies . . . for the ten thousandth time.
Brick
Consent is important.
Dunstan
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When I visited Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh City) there were swastikas everywhere at the Buddhist temples. It was unnerving. I asked “is that an ancient Buddhist symbol?” and they said “no, Buddhists really like Hitler.”
Brick
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I’ve got a “W” tattooed on each cheek of my ass. When I bend over, it says “WoW”, and when I stand on my head, it says “MoM.” But I only stand on my head on her birthday and Mother’s Day.
Viva La Tabula Raza
See, now that’s just thoughtful.
Dunstan
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Koo?
Viva La Tabula Raza
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“The plot centers around a rich madman that wants to reshape the world by destroying it and then rebuilding it. Keep this in mind when you read about the next film.”
Horatio
You should also keep this in mind when you vote in November.
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I feel like it’s a mistake to leave it all in packages labelled “Hoarded Flour/Sugar.” I mean, you don’t see Scotchy engraving “Murder Weapon” on all his axes and clubs and whatnots.
Dunstan
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Today marks 6 weeks of isolation. Walking 5 miles a day, no meat, diary or flour. Eating fresh vegetables and home cooked meals every day. The change has been fantastic! Zero alcohol. A healthy, gluten-free, caffeine-free diet and a 1-hour home workout every day. Lost 20 pounds and gained muscle mass.
Redshirt
I have no idea who wrote this, but I am so proud of them that I decided to copy and paste.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself
Sharkbait
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I have the same reaction, boys.
monty this seems strange to me
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“Horatio ist not ztuck under a couch cushion”
Horatio
Horatio, the spare change of DFO.
The quarter of DFO’s spare change
Don T
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glassware no longer matters
GameTimeDecision
Ummm, all alcohol already comes in a convenient dispensing container…
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Had my first “telemedicine” check up this am. The doctor asked how my drinking was going.
BFC
I told him to fuck off.
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I can’t believe this was the last song posted on Request Line. For shame!
plus a great song from earlier in the week:
Thank you to everyone one for providing quality gifs to keep us entertained as we are quarantined in our homes. Let’s end on a good note:
Please stay home and avoid other people. See you next week!
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