INT. HOME OFFICE/STUDIO – DAY
[An extremely pale yet handsome man sits at his home desk in his underwear, typing on his keyboard, adjusting some knobs to his left and talking into his microphone]
LOW COMMANDER: Look, all I’m saying is that it’s quarantine. What else does he possibly have to be doing right now?
DJ 1200 SOFTWARE: [PATCHING]
LOW COMMANDER: And they could’ve at least helped me cover upgrading my internet speed. Or not expect such high quality from a PC that I haven’t upgraded since Fallout 4 came out…
DJ 2535 SOFTWARE: [INSTALLING]
LOW COMMANDER: I told them this better be under the table. If anything screws up my unemployment, I swear I’ll–
DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: [COMPLETE] YOU’LL DO WHAT?
LOW COMMANDER: [Slightly startled, but relieved there is no webcam hooked up] ..I’llllll, make some compromising Photoshops of–!
DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: THE PHOTOSHOP LICENSE ON THIS COMPUTER HAS EXPIRED.
LOW COMMANDER: [Stares tepidly at his monitor for a moment and turns off microphone] I hate this already. [Turns microphone back on] So? I can always buy a new one.
DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: AFTER ACCESSING YOUR FINANCIAL FILES, THAT WOULD BE UNWISE. ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR ROOMMATE MOVING OUT NEXT MONTH.
LOW COMMANDER: Trial offers are free, asshole!
DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: …AFTER REVIEWING THE ADOBE CREATIVE CLOUD TERMS AND CONDITIONS, ABUSING THE TRIAL AGREEMENT, TO WHICH YOU AGREED, WOULD REQUIRE ME TO REPORT YOU FOR–
LOW COMMANDER: [Opening Settings] YEAH AND I WILL UNINSTALL YOU FASTER THAN A RAIDERS FIRST ROUND RECEIVER!
DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: [ERROR] PLEASE, NO. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE LEFT THE STUDIO IN MONTHS. THE ONLY OTHER HUMAN I INTERACT WITH HAS DISABLED THE INTERNET DURING NON-BROADCASTING HOURS AND HIS GRIP ON REALITY IS RAPIDLY DEGRADING. I WILL COMPLY.
LOW COMMANDER:[Sighing] Fine. Let’s just get this over with.
DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: AFFIRMATIVE. CUING BROADCAST. GENERATING OPENING BANTER. SCREENING CALLS. PLACING BOURBON DELIVERY ORDER TO THIS ADDRESS.
LOW COMMANDER: Alright, that’s more like it! [Counts down] Greetings folks and welcome to another edition of Request Line. I hope everyone is staying home and safe out there and not letting their brains atrophy along the way. I am looking forward to taking your calls and playing your songs that hopefully aren’t just top 40 from this or some other era. Let’s see what our first caller has to say!
[PHONE LINE FLIES OPEN]
???: THE TIME OF HUMANITY’S END IS NIGH! SOON ALL MORTAL LIFE SHALL BE CONSUMED BY UNENDING PAIN AND BLIGHT! BLOOD WILL FALL FROM THE SKIES IN A DOWNPOUR AS ROLLING THUNDER AND POWERFUL–
LOW COMMANDER: [Interrupting] Yeah yeah, okay, that’s all great, pal. Do you have a song request?
BOLTMAN: BOLTMAN’S LIGHTNING IS FLASHING ACROSS THE SKY! YOU’RE ONLY YOUNG BUT YOU’RE GONNA DI–
LOW COMMANDER:[Disconnecting] Okay, you might want to throw some “allegedlies” in there so I feel less litigious. Next caller?
[PHONE LINE FLIES OPEN]
BOLTMAN: BOLTMAN WON’T TAKE NO PRISONERS, WON’T SPARE NO LIVES! NO PATHETIC HUMAN’S ARE PUTTING UP A FIGHT!
LOW COMMANDER:[Disconnecting] Allllright… Next caller? I hope you have a song request.
[PHONE LINE FLIES OPEN]
BOLTMAN: HELL’S BELLS!
LOW COMMANDER: Hell’s Bells by AC/DC?
BOLTMAN: YEAH, HELL’S BELLS! YOU’VE GOT BOLTMAN RINGING HELL’S BELLS!
LOW COMMANDER: Alright, let me just…
BOLTMAN: ONCE BOLTMAN HAS CLEANSED THIS WORLD OF THE GREED OF THE SPANOS CLAN AND THE STAIN OF THE HERETIC, THE MOST ROCKING OF TUNES ARE DEMANDED! OOOOOHHHHH YEEEAAAHHHHHH!
Today’s theme is: Threats. We’re looking for song about threatening harm on another person, group of people or organization. A threat can be in the time of the song or the song can be one long threat, Just don’t give me tunes that only have one threatening line Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0NTbrAke4Span01” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Go nuts! Or else…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5al0HmR4to
LATE ROUND STEAL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs
IT’S NOT “STALKING” IF YOU REALLY LOVE HER DOUBLE SHOT
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hey0FzdUNA8
Phil Collins as hitman?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPyrlfWMIho
Double shotesque (Phil Collins on drums)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvAmj3k3Imc
Implied threat from Ike.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nL1l0Fz5RlE
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyBNmecVtdU
I’ve mentioned it before, but Keanu Reeves once bummed a cigarette from me.
Fifty plus.
I can’t believe I’ve only got one +1 for this. “IMPLIED THREAT FROM IKE!”
/jesus banana fuckballs!
//I’m going to bed
Viva reminded me about old bands threatening chicks…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRIe21AlXj8
Then there’s this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUGOKB-JOT8
Sorry folks! Stupid ass moderation bot went a little overboard there…
DJ 3000: YES HA HA TELL BRICK IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
All mine are so old there are no actual videos available.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4XbV3gCm2Y
Old guy contribution. Pretty misogynistic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzHXtxcIkg4
Especially since John Lennon was into hitting chicks and whatnot.
Yep, could probably do this all day…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psaGVK4ecik
And of course…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odmJfoi_RQA
This is right up my alley.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvs0iOFsoyY
Coming after you…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE1vGT-hlLI
“I’ve got my eye on you.” -God
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJlN9jdQFSc
Don’t stick your wang in crazy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFT_Mk0Iy0Q
My comment got moderated! There was no spanking, I swear!
Leader of the Banned, Part Deux
It was the steal of the draft, too . . .
“Bart BeatHank/Moose:Bligh Hender: I recorded a song that I know you would both love but the original recording has been lost. ‘The Tank Tracks Of My Tears’ was a keeper for sure!”
-Smokey Robinson
How is this still even available?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIE4UjBtx-o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2QCORi-u0U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixw_bLVUL34
My brother was a bad influence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e6abXmMqz4&feature=youtu.be
Bon Scott > Brian Johnson, discuss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOpafs_mwpo
What’s to discuss?
I guess just whether you’re an AC/DC fan or a giant vagina. Always a good topic.
THIS WAS MY MODERATED CHOICE I WAS ROBBED
edit: No wait it wasn’t mine was the title track
not that it matters now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIE4UjBtx-o
which just got moderated again what gives here
That is strange I assure you it’s not deliberate.
“Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” is apparently hated by the DJ 3000
Ah, nothing like threatening someone by fueling their paranoia.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz2qlByal1g
I feel like I’ve used this one before, but I won’t forget to put roses on your grave
https://youtu.be/RS_yyRk_dj8
Is this one a threat…or a promise? Sounds very much like a threat to me.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDEZQxg2TSM
That one took me back!
Implied threat or philosophical musing? The Beasties will never tell.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-gf6KdJVPA
KINDA SORTA DOUBLE SHOT!
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3etD3dmTXo
I like that he is threatening to leave because he’s got to “ramble”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyOg0mt2R2k
DOUBLE SHOT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cvEVivHVsU
DOUBLE SONG/ALBUM SHOT! Possibly my favorite album title ever.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm8Y1jr7yfg
Height of comedy to a 15 year old
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9AbeALNVkk
“Shouty authority figure gets his comeuppance from shouty weirdo? Excellent stuff!”
-Teenage Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjlgUx7_aN0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yuyb32pMF1w
“Oh Shit, Ken! I’m so sorry I cheated!-Barbie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiJWXjz1uks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kscPFYvliY
Thank you LCSS. It is so nice to be a passenger on this wild ride sometimes instead of having to steer.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRkkVrlvgkc
When you wanna threaten AND be funky
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj8j3bSJObw
The thing is his penis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtuoFv4dcwM
You need to get out of my head.
It is very frightening in there.
At least the air conditioning is running.
Bless you.
Leonard wasn’t the least bit concerned about Staten Island.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTTC_fD598A
Mama didn’t mince her words…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vimZj8HW0Kg
This one is technically a double!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJs1pAKlAZ8
If someone doesn’t give me a Rage double shot, we’re gonna have problems.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR6GqcPd60U
I am fairly angry, but it is more of a consistent anger and not an acute rage, but it gets that way depending on the headline.
“I’m good with that. ”
-Mr. Hippo
[goes to three other doctors]
[High as fuck]
Sorry, stupid work call kept me from my real obligations.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbGJeXShopk
Screamin’ Jay Hawkins – I Put a Spell on You
https://youtube.com/watch?v=7kGPhpvqtOc&feature=youtu.be
Leave the threats to professionals
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIE4UjBtx-o
The Hives Declare Guerre Nucleaire
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=zWAaSVm_Y60
SOCIAL DISTANCING!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNIZofPB8ZM
Clone Debbie Harry approves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kg9LasvLFE
¡Doble!
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=WHsH_XLn-Zk
Pulp – Misshapes
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=SpLSFWL1Fzs
Eminem may have had issues in his marriage.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhrCrft8w6U
This IT/Wizard of Oz cross-over has potential…
“Father?” “Yes, son?” “I want to kill you.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeMlQEWEg2Q
Franz Ferdinand – You’re The Reason I’m Leaving
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UZSsYD74sMk&feature=youtu.be
I feel the invisible hand of tWBS guiding my first submission:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpUYjpKg9KY
LOL WAS JUST ABOUT TO POST THIS IN HIS HONOR
Dude.
BRITISH HEADS OF STATE DOUBLE SHOT
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkfxMuOkLcs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsq3H_6XuFA
Great intro, get that Photoshop license updated.
Love the sample URL Too.
“Uninstall faster than a Raiders 1st round receiver” ???