I think today has marked the first “real” day back from the depth of the COVID-19 scare.
Sure, there were a whole bunch of people in Tulsa ignoring black history in their quest to suckle at the teat of a sentient orange-hued McDonald’s patty.
At the Trump rally, Brian Clothier, 61, is wearing an adult diaper over his pants that reads “Scientists say [farts] spread the virus. I COVID my ass to stop the spread.” pic.twitter.com/2Ljok0vKKe
— robertklemko (@RobertKlemko) June 20, 2020
And there were other problems in the world that, let’s face it, deserve plenty of attention because they are between nuclear powers that combined have 2.5 billion people
But hodge that – there’s sports! There was English footy, and German footy, plus the AFL & rugby SuperLeague. It was a morning to behold.
Oh sure, the Phillies might die, and the Tampa Bay Lightning got airborne MRSA, but that’s cause they’re quitters! I’m sure once the weekend is over everything will be fine…
When contacted, the NBA Commissioner released the following statement:
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- NASCAR XFINITY Series:
- Unhinged 300 – 5:30PM | FS1 / TSN3
- The Unhinged 300 from Talladega Superspeedway in Alabama.
- Russell Crowe is the Grand Marshall for the race.
Faber’s was better.
- Russell Crowe is the Grand Marshall for the race.
- Fun fact: Until 1998, it was a 500-kilometer (310 mi) event, the longest race on the NASCAR Busch Series schedule.
- In 1998, fans complained about the use of kilometers, which was seen as a European custom. Management changed the race to a 300-mile (480 km) event from 1998–2001. The change shortened the race distance by just four laps.
- In 2002 it was returned to a 502 km / 312 mile race, to coincide with the race sponsor’s 3-12 ad slogan, before returning to a 300-mile race in 2015.
- The Unhinged 300 from Talladega Superspeedway in Alabama.
- Unhinged 300 – 5:30PM | FS1 / TSN3
- UFC Fight Night:
- Blaydes vs. Volkov: From Las Vegas | ESPN / TSN
- Prelims: 5:00PM
- Main Card: 8:00PM
- Blaydes vs. Volkov: From Las Vegas | ESPN / TSN
- ABC: The Last Dance
- Episode 9 – 8:00PM
- Episode 10 – 9:00PM
- Australian Football League:
- Gold Coast Suns vs. Adelaide Crows – 11:00 PM | FS1
- Essendon vs. Melbourne – 1:30 AM | ESPN2 / TSN4
- Super Rugby Aotearoa:
- Hurricanes vs. Crusaders – 11:30 PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
The viewing evening starts with left turns & ends with toilets flushing the wrong way.
HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG?!
Not to make light of anything, and in principle leaks are wrong, but these Noel Berry leaks are incredible. She should be a director with how good the light, angles, and placement have been on most of these. Plus, she’s just really hot.
That’s hilarious
Gold Coast has been awesome tonight!
When my ball waxer reopens I am going to ask about a quality anus bleaching, if only for the benefit of my ball waxer, my doctor, and of course my own piece of mind.
Remember, if you’re in the Eastern Hemisphere tomorrow — don’t look directly into the sun’s anus. Er, annular eclipse.
Hush little fella, you’re next.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lfk-JTdQ_0I
Shhhhhhhhh you’re drunk
God, I wish
I can’t get over Xmas Ape having a Reddit account he uses just for the Red Scare podcast subreddit.
He’s right, though.
https://old.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/comments/hcz267/the_three_tiers_of_cancel_culture_denial_by/
I got my beer and a bunch of other snacks. I’m of sufficiently high risk that I’d be safer playing Russian roulette than going to the store.
AFL is on FS1!!
Oh my God, Debbie Harry did a duet of ‘Too Drunk To Fuck’!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul-faU5fh-A
(skip to 3:00; there’s a lot of talky-talky before they get to the song)
And here’s how the song is supposed to sound
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMY7hiFvxvM
Editor’s note: Take off your fucking backpack before entering the pit.
singing the songs of your grandparents is extremely “punk”
Henry Rollins is the loudmouthed 60 year old he used to rail about
More like “Too Old to Fuck.”
How dare you
My son’s first concert was Social Distortion at Lupo’s in Providence, RI. I think he was 14-15. He got to see me dive into the pit to haul a guy out who’d been injured.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPoLMl15IKE
I am not an ideal parent.
This was our actual wedding song, after I demanded the right to pick it when my lovely bride suggested a Tiffany song, and after she absolutely refused to walk out to the Dead Kennedy’s doing “Too Drunk To Fuck.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFtSfQCpZec
Mawwiage is about compwomise.
This was my wedding music, but I got hammered before the wedding and forgot the music.
Which pretty much explains my married life,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsYp9q3QNaQ
I went to UConn, as did a healthy percentage of our wedding guests. My father-in-law had not, but was still, for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, a rabid UConn basketball fan.
We got married in March, and the afternoon of the wedding UConn was playing Georgetown in the Big East tournment, I think in the semis. Father-in-law asks my wife if it’s OK if there’s a TV in the reception hall so people can watch the game, something even I wasn’t dumb enough to ask. Somehow he’s still alive, but her answer, (which was FUCK NO), was clearly communicated.
So we get married and hop into the limo with the best man and Maid O’ Honor and there’s a TV in the limo and the only channel they get is CBS, which has the UConn -G’Town game.
And that’s how you survive 25+ years of marriage folks: Dumb fucking luck.
I got married on the 4th of July in 1989 in El Cajon California and it was hotter than Satans’ ballsack.
We had a keg so you know it was classy.
Finished up at Dads’ place.
Love you and miss you Pops!
And everybody ended up in the pool.
It was like a royal wedding in some regards.
Too drunk to fuck sounds like my end goal for tonight
You want the real birth of rock and roll?
Comin’ right up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnAQATKRBN0
Pretty much.
Kick-ass song, but I hear it more as gospel than rock and/or roll. YMMV.
Sometimes the world Knows nothing at all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KQjy02eqOk
And sometimes you make love out of nothing at all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogoIxkPjRts
That was our wedding song.
Never should have let me wife pick it.
Had she ever listened to the lyrics?
What did she say after you said “DUDE!”?
Pretty sure a guy just died on ESPN boxing.
Don’t lean in on an uppercut.
DON’T WORRY FOLKS! Apollo’s not hurt, he’s just dreaming:
Good for him for taking advantage of that glory hole in the mat.
That’s even funnier with the added GIF.
Second funniest movie I’ve ever seen, right behind Platoon.
NVA; worst marksmen ever.
Willem Dafoe would beg to differ.
No he wouldn’t; it took 136,054 rounds before he was hit…. from 30 feet away.
That dude got knocked the fuck out. Gone before the mat.
I liked it when they said he was sitting up and that was a good sign, and it was clearly one of his cornermen propping him up.
Dude got rocked.
I love how casual the kicker is about getting back to his feet. Like, he knows that the other fighter is finished.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uWjuconWM0
None of you were helpful so back to the well with rye manhattans
Hey, I clearly said margaritas.
Which was NAWT helpful
We’ve arrived at the “posting random images of Julie Strain” portion of the evening:
Fake Tit Fu.
How much are you paying them?
The only Strain I see is on that fabric.
Live CNN Coverage of the crowd size at Trump’s rally.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlG3drozbig&t=28s
Apparently, the majority of the million or so tickets claimed by the Trump re-election campaign to have been requested for tonight’s episode of “Triumph of the Will – Tulsa” were requested by a bunch of K-Pop fans and other various and sundry teenagers. That’s really pretty fucking awesome, and funny, TBH.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/06/steve-schmidt-reveals-how-teenagers-dealt-a-savage-blow-to-donald-trumps-reelection-at-tulsa-rally/#comments_section_start
Say what you will about K-Pop, (not you, Mr D’Elia), but their fans are not to be taken lightly.
I got the clap just looking at that
You already had it.
SonOfSpam mentioned it earlier, but that shit is on page one and this bares (bears) repeating. Well done by them also well done on the dancing stuff.
Yummy.
That’s actually how you misspell her name.
I’d misspell that all night long.
Is there some reason I’m seeing WWE instead of hot AFL action on FS1 right now?
Oh, apparently that match doesn’t start for a few more hours.
The postponement of the Essendon-Melbourne game caused the times for the other games to be adjusted.
This is a major interruption of my 8 hour binge drinking. I might pass out before the end of the 2nd match!
NAWT MY FAULT!
Really? When was your last negative test?
Joe Biden vs. Donald Trump in a clock draw-off for the highest position of power in the world
Out of disgust with Arsenal’s recent performances, and in sympathy with the late tWBS, I am renouncing my fandom of Arsenal*, and instead following the Baltimore Orioles, in that most of their games end with the Orioles failing to score either.
Seamus would have wanted it that way.
*Nah, I’m stuck with these assholes; I just wanted to make fun of them.
I like Norwegian Black Metal dog.
HE’S A GOOD (IF OCCASIONALLY BRUTAL) BOY!
Murder Dog just plays fetch differently.
“Stop trying to make fetch happen.”
Fuck it. I’m going to the store for beer.
Drizly
Yeah, love his stuff. His 1st album was way better than his recent stuff….
Sounds like a decision you struggled with, and it should not have been.
I’m going to my basement for beer.
Do you have to step over the bound people?
At least at Scotchys they are already dead.
Yeah. “Over”
You shouldn’t be fucking them.
What am I saying? They are dead anyway.