Inspired by Sharkbait’s Friday drinking posts, I got myself a bottle of gin and started experimenting with some gin cocktails. The first one I made, as is tradition, was the Gin and Tonic.
First impression: Gin is a very refreshing liquor!
I was honestly not expecting that. I should point out, however, that I bought a bottle of Hendrick’s, which I know is a very particular and special type of gin
Second impression: I do not like Tonic Water.
I used Q Tonic, which I guess is not top of the line, but I’ve heard good things. I don’t know if it was the quinine or what, but it was VERY bitter. If I wanted something that bitter, I’d give my ex a call.
My next adventure into gin drinks had to be, as is Southern California tradition, a Gin and Juice. Made famous, of course, by Snoop. Obligatory:
The uncensored version is best, but this video is hilarious.
As for the drink: OH THAT’S THE STUFF!
No wonder Snoop sang about it! Granted, I have a sweet tooth, so this is right up my alley. It’s a perfect combination that, depending on your ratio, can get you fucked up QUICK. I feel like fucking a ho right about now…
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The Week in DFO
Here are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:
Y’all can take away my 17 year-old stripper girlfriend’s pole when you tear it away from her K-Y Jellied hands!
Scotchnaut
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The following people are going to be in VERY big trouble for RSVP’ing and then not showing up.
Lennay Kekua
Lennay Kekuua
Lennai Kekua
Lenay Kekua
etc.
RTD
I RSVP’d as Dixie Normous and got a personal message from the Veep.
SonOfSpam
I RSVP’d as Hugh G. Rection and got a tax break.
Brick
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I don’t know what’s going to explode first, me or that stupid fucking car when it runs over a rabbit.
Horatio
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I am starting a new movement called Black Lives Make Batter for all non-PoCs who have been made horny by black women and men (thinking of you Zymm).
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
I’m pretty sure that’s already a Pornhub Category…
Balls
Well then time for my backup, fecund the police
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
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I got the clap just looking at that
Brick
You already had it.
Moose
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I could do that.
Mr. Ayo
Whatcha doin’ later?
Moose
At the current rate, apparently you.
Mr. Ayo
If you are in that posture, I’ll be quick.
Moose
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I could do that.
Mr. Ayo
As could I, I mean how hard is it to take a beating like that?
ArmedandHammered
Yeah, but can you do it without getting an erection?
Balls
Easily, as long as I don’t take one of my pills I don’t have to worry about it.
ArmedandHammered
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I can’t bring myself to watch those Friendly marble matches. The marbles just don’t try as hard when there’s nothing at stake.
Dunstan
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Hulk Hogan fucked Bubba the Love Sponge’s wife and the audio was made public.
This concludes “Things I Know About Pro Wrestling”
SonOfSpam
And he won $130 million from Gawker, thanks to right-wing businessman Peter Thiel, who didn’t like their coverage of his social life. So he bankrolled Hogan’s case simply to bust up the site.
This has been “Beerguyrob fills in your gaps”.
Beerguyrob
Is that the name of your amateur porno tape?
Balls
Beerguyrob Fills In Your Gapes
Moose
Nothing amateur about it.
Beerguyrob
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I really hope that’s his mom.
Viva La Tabula Raza
Hey, if not, she’s paying for his trip, so
SonOfSpam
I really hope it’s on Pornhub damn soon.
Moose
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Getting a huge kick out of the English thinking that a “sweltering” evening is 81 degrees.
Horatio
Pfft, that’s nothing. Here in Dublin we get to shelter in place at full moons so we don’t get burnt to a crisp
bk109
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Found a funny:
50% of Roger Federer‘s name is “er”
rockindog
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This could really up one’s tittyfucking game*
*I am currently 0-3
SonOfSpam
But you show promise and are great in the locker room.
litre_cola
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In bed
Game Time Decision
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Kaylin is an excellent studio analyst, beyond the pervosaur factoUr.
King Hippo
Nothing’s beyond the pervosaur factor, damn it!
bk109
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found a funny:
me: it doesn’t have a tail so i’m pretty sure it’s a hamster
tech support: okay fine right-click the hamster
rockindog
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Shouldn’t this hold 3 tacos to be called a tricerataco?
ArmedandHammered
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I’ll have a Pre-Modern burrito, extra trilobites.
Don T
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Ok, time to pick a movie for tonight. First four up in the queue are:
(1) Cromwell (1970)
(2) Urban Cowboy
(3) The Natural (have seen before, find a little cheesy but it is sports)
(4) Knives Out (saw in the theatre back when people did such things)
I admit that’s a weird set of options.
Dunstan
Dunno 1, 2 is stupid, 3 is good, 4 is great
I’d pick 5.
SonOfSpam
5- Vacation with Step-Mom
Balls
In a certain kind of film, step-moms seem to be attractive and horny.
I’ve generally only seen 3-4 minutes of those films, so I don’t know how they end.
Be kind, rewind.
SonOfSpam
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Here’s this week’s Balls’ Choice from Request Line:
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Thank you to everyone one for providing quality laughs and gifs/pics to look at. Have a great week!
What is the appropriate juice for gin and juice?
Orange is the standard, but you do you.
I like grapefruit in mine.
Passion fruit cocktail. For real. Try it.
It ain’t coercion without a “!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFhned9man8
I don’t know about fashion, but these seem stylish AND practical.
FOAR tWBS; tears in my eyes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfI1xMlNMU8
Which Senate subcommittee is this?
Senate Intelligence….
Braces is the independent.
Desperate to please anyone, just to be accepted?
Very knowledgeable with tech.
looks a bit like a youthful Geddy Lee, TBH.
I am pretty sure she is female, but I see a bit, but Geddy would be one ugly woman.
the top-middle guy looks like he is on his 4th time through 10th grade.
Looks like Eastern European…. but is US is the parts store counter guy who always has to ask someone else except for items in his immediate visual range (ice scrapers and oil).
Same for top right guy.
I would swear that the guy in the upper right corner was my high school bus driver, and that the kid in the lower right corner was on that bus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CljsPlBqjZI
Yes, I’m on a teleconference; why do you ask?
Not gonna lie, I would party* with them.
*fall asleep early and then wonder where my wallet went
Repeat Monday:
Hey, that’s a goal!
Indeed! And an assist.
Trump and his maga-chuds lose another one, with the Supreme Court shooting down Louisiana’s stupid admitting privilege requirement for abortion providers. Vote was 5-4 with the increasingly admirable John Roberts joining the majority.
Kavanaugh dissented, which is a reminder of how important the Presidential and Senate elections are this year, what a goddamn disaster Hillary was in 2016, and why Susan Collins should be fired face first into the Sun.
It’s just a theory.
Bigfoot has way more empathy for humans than the creature on the left has
Can also spell better.
Correct, similar in ass size only.
Probably has better table manners as well, plus being able to form complete, coherent sentences….
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better TV show.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098818/
We’re doing a landscaping project at our house, and as a result, and somewhat ironically, there are two Mexicans building a wall in my yard.
Are they paying for said wall?
Much like Trump, I am claiming that my wife is paying for it, even though in the long run this is somehow going to come out of my pocket.
https://trakt.tv/shows/the-oa/seasons/2/episodes/4
Chthulu 2020: Why settle for the lesser evil?
I think Balls just needs the one episode.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qylG25PmP7g
The Spanish subtitles add an extra layer of hilarity.
“Perro.”
Reminded me of “Golly” in Airplane
Now I wanna watch all the Beavis & Butthead episodes with Spanish subtitles.
That 1963 aerial of LAX posted above is incorrect. Here is an updated version for your records:
LAX Truthers are everywhere.
Jennifer Aniston at her prom 1987; did he or didn’t he?
Hand around her waist but leaning away from the body, I’m saying no.
Agreed; the touching finger does not look like the eventual penetration finger. She probably banged older dudes (dudettes in college, just a phase).
Maybe he got a slip of the tongue, and was able to squeeze a boob. Went home with one a cat couldn’t scratch. Still beats off about it 33 years later.
Having not gone to my prom but admiring Jennifer for some time this hypothesis seems as legitimate as any.