NFL Nuggets:
- This is not a good look: The Vikings’ “infection control officer” tested positive for COVID-19.
- His name is Eric Sugarman, and he is officially also the team’s head athletic trainer and VP of sports medicine.
- Sadly, he’s not related to Burt Sugarman of “The Midnight Special”.
- Who has also been married to Mary Hart since 1989.
- Sadly, he’s not related to Burt Sugarman of “The Midnight Special”.
- And not just him – his whole family.
- They have been in self-quarantine since Friday.
- He sent out a note to players & fans:
- “[A]s I sit here in quarantine, it is clear this virus does not discriminate. It should continue to be taken seriously. I encourage people to take the necessary precautions and follow guidelines that have been established nationally and locally.”
- Hilariously, this comes a week after Peter King visited the Vikings and raved about their virus testing & protocols.
- His name is Eric Sugarman, and he is officially also the team’s head athletic trainer and VP of sports medicine.
- Not with this in mind, but with this in mind, the League sent out new guidelines for players, informing them about what happens if they allow themselves to become exposed.
- A memo from the NFLPA memo states: “Clubs/NFL can challenge designation as a football related injury if it can prove that the player contracted COVID-19 through engaging in (any of the) high risk conduct below. (This issue remains open.)”
- an indoor nightclub with more than 15 people
- an indoor bar with more than 15 people, other than to pick up food
- an indoor house party with more than 15 people
- an indoor music concert/entertainment event with more than 15 people
- a professional sporting event, other than applicable NFL games or events, with more than 15 people
- an indoor religious service attended by more than 25% of a venue’s capacity
- What this means is that the team could challenge how the player contacted the disease & impose penalties up to & including the loss of all pay for the period in question.
- It would also mean they would go on the non-football injury PUP list, keeping a valid IR spot open.
- The player could only challenge the matter after the season has concluded.
- A memo from the NFLPA memo states: “Clubs/NFL can challenge designation as a football related injury if it can prove that the player contracted COVID-19 through engaging in (any of the) high risk conduct below. (This issue remains open.)”
- Speaking of the PUP list, here’s a reminder that Alex Smith will be starting the season on it.
Nope; not showing it. - More importantly, it was revealed Friday that Smith’s doctors had cleared him to return to football activities.
- As a reminder, his season ended in November 2018 with a compound fracture of his leg, he underwent surgery to repair the fracture, then soon after developed a flesh-eating bacterial infection that nearly took his life & soon became septic.
- He underwent 17 surgeries and wore a complicated, halo-like contraption known as an external fixator to keep his leg stabilized at all times. But he was able to work out.
- As a reminder, his season ended in November 2018 with a compound fracture of his leg, he underwent surgery to repair the fracture, then soon after developed a flesh-eating bacterial infection that nearly took his life & soon became septic.
- More importantly, it was revealed Friday that Smith’s doctors had cleared him to return to football activities.
- Raheem Mostert has gotten the upgrade deal he wanted from the 49ers.
- It doesn’t add years to his contract, but the signing bonus & incentive clauses give him the potential to earn up to $5.0 million.
- The whole issue came about because he wanted to be paid like a #1 back, but the Niners were trying to keep him at a kick returner’s salary.
- A salary difference of $2.0 million.
- This might have been okay if Mostert hadn’t essentially run the Niners into the Super Bowl.
I didn’t want to include this up top, but in looking through old episodes of “The Midnight Special”, I found the one that showed whom cocaine lived with before moving on to Fleetwood Mac.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X39MaWV8aCQ
MXC Monday:
Episode 205 – Toy Game Makers vs. Clerical Workers: “Board roomers versus board gamers”.
Keep your eye out for Kenner Hasbro, who invented a Candyland game for diabetic kids. His live-by motto is pretty inspiring: “Every hole is a chance for glory.” Not to be outdone, what happens to Tamela Lee will haunt Trent Green’s nightmares.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Blue Jays at Nationals – 6:00PM | Sportsnet
- Mets at Red Sox – 7:30PM | ESPN / TSN3
- Mariners at Cheatstros – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
- MLS is Back Tournament:
- San Jose Earthquakes vs. Real Salt Lake – 8:30PM | FS1 / TSN
- Seattle Sounders vs. Los Angeles FC – 11:00PM | FS1 / TSN
- Premier Lacrosse League:
- Redwoods vs. Chaos – 7:00 PM | NBCSN
- Atlas vs. Archers – 9:00 PM | NBCSN
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
It’s with a relieved, yet slightly heavy (thanks angina!) heart that I will be announcing the end of “MXC Mondays”. We have a good amount of sports back on our TV’s, so I want to make sure that if another apocalypse comes around there are plenty of episodes left in the hopper should we need to go down this road again. Many thanks to those of you who enjoyed them along with me.
Ugh, new cases are flattening and it looks like it’s time for the Left to have conspiracy theories in the US now. Just so y’all know, pretty much all the US data you see is compiled from state and/or county sources, and despite the reporting switch from CDC to HHS, the direct reporting from states and counties is mostly unchanged. The only numbers likely to be affected are hospitalizations in Idaho, Missouri, and Wyoming.
Yep. I don’t trust the WH further than Chad Pennington can throw them, but the whole “holy shit things are getting out of control” realization that happened as cases started spiking in the first week of July definitely affected people’s behavior for the better. Now the big question is whether or not numbers will actually start to come DOWN in any significant way or we’ll just hover at 40k cases/day for the next four months until the weather gets cold and a new wave hits the northern states.
Just in case you were thinking about sleeping, here’s another hit from Barr:
“I was almost 70 years old, slipping happily into retirement as I enjoyed my grandchildren…”
Alternately, “I was almost 70 years old, slipping happily into my grandchildren as I enjoyed retirement …”
I learned how to read UK silver hallmarks today, look for me impersonating an expert on future episodes of Antiques Roadshow. There may or may not be heist involved
A money heist? Because that has quickly become my favorite kind of heist.
woof woof
It’s fine.
Well I thought it was funny. Drankin’ is fun again!
DAMNIT.
?
My fave movie.
This
[holds copy of “Springtime for Hitler”]
This a house in the country. This is a Rolls and Bentley. This is wine, women snd song ! AND WOMEN.
????
Either eat a complete breakfast or BE a complete breakfast
I’m going to be working late tonight, so I’m posting this as a way to force all of you to stay up with me for fear of this disgusting creature invading your dreams.
You gotta purdy mouth, boy
“Can’t sleep…Bill Barr will molest me…”
Would you rather Roseanne Barr?
☝?
Yes, but barely, she’s not a lawyer.
You say that like it’s an exclusive or
Never could get accustomed to the thinner John Goodman.
I’m more worried about him invading my city, not my dreams.
More BBQ salmon, bitches. Plus chicken.
It’s so weird to me that neither party is willing to just be the party of legal weed on a national level. It seems like such a layup to play that card and spin it as either opening your arms to a new industry or righting a wrong from the past.
Plus taxes!
The dem platform committee voted to not support legalized marijuana for the 2020 platform 106-50. Public support to legalize is around 70%. Party support closer to 80. It boggles the mind.
Percentage of revenue it is not huge, but in this state both parties really fucking like to spend it.
That was a good part of the argument for overturning Prohibition, and that required a second Constitutional amendment. Still took 10 years of the Depression, near universal flouting of the law, kids getting blinded or killed by nasty bathtub shit, and unprecedented gang violence to accomplish repeal. Pot doesn’t need an amendment, but we’re pretty attenuated to the social ills of of the drug war at this point, and legalizing marijuana only addresses a fraction of those. There’s no urgency.
Nerds hate admitting how much pot they smile just to deal with normies
Huh, apparently I’ve been doing it wrong
Drunkenness. Feels good, man.
Especially when cooking
#1 excuse to cook. I mean, drink.
Only one thing feels better…
Ecstasy?
How was your day at work?
Look, I’ve nothing against the Maple Leafs. They’re just another NHL team trying to get over the hump. Sometimes you just lose to 42 year-old Zamboni drivers that are pressed into action with no notice whatsoever and they end up handing you your ass. It happens all the time. Nothing to be mortally ashamed about…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlBsR1WIT0U
42 year old goalie, 42 year cup drought, coincidence?
I have 3 stories about the Maple Leafs. None of them are entertaining.
Could be worse; you could have four.
You have something in common with the team.
ahahahaha fuck.
https://www.inquirer.com/phillies/miami-marlins-coronavirus-outbreak-phillies-mlb-season-20200727.html
This is far less cringey than the time Mattingly asked Rojas to check a lump he found in his left man-boob
“I thought Rojas was pre-law, not pre-med.”
“Same fucking difference.”
—Guy from Animal House
Worst lead up. MLB
Worst “plan”. MLB
WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THIS??????
Everyone not named roger goodell
I have been drinking. And so on.
But I feel like I should say how much I love this place, even though I’m more of a lurker than anything else. I laugh a lot reading these posts, and laughter is not always easy to come by. The writing is awesome and I am often in awe. Because that’s how awesome works.
I have been drinking.
Drunken comments/ commentists are the best comments/ commentists.
Pill popper commentists, stoner commentists, recovered commentists we accept most! Just don’t be a dick.
Unless your name is Richard, but then you should still have respect for yourself and be a Dick, not a dick
Big Black Richard has a gilded pass.
Too late.
Fuck you. Every time I drunk post I get worried emails
I LOVE YOU TOO, MAN!!!
My preamble to start drinking, sir.
Yer not the only on—
/falls off couch teaching for beer
I have been seeing you post occasionally over the last couple years, and always thought your board name was some weird twist on Bob Uecker. I only just now realized that is not the case.
Can’t it be both?
Sure, I reckon. Fuck, I don’t make the rules here.
Found a funny:
DOCTOR: It says here you took 3 years off to “soak in tub” ?
ME: (pleasantly) Yes, due to my agonies.
WWI had shitty timing
Also, Nationalism is a fucking disease
I specifically remember my 9th grade history teacher explaining the difference between patriotism and nationalism and how nationalism always ends with dead people, but here we are anyway.
It’s how dark ages start. I think I did a decent job maximizing my decadence in the early parts of the empire collapse, but I still could have done better.
Are you in quarantine in the Seychelles right now? You have done it right.
Nah, though I’ve variously booked and cancelled trips to Tanzania, Turkey and the Maldives. I really want to visit my parents in mid-August, so I’m resigned to not travelling until after that visit. Don’t want to bring virus into their home. On the flight there I’m gonna go pretty extreme PPE. Don’t care for the way back.
WWI had shitty timing
—The Gilded Age
Seeing the final draft for the local school districts’ plans to reopen in the fall and considering starting a pool for when the whole thing collapses and the kids are back on zoom
Take the under for time
“the kids are back on Zoom.”
—or on a ventilator. (Not YOURS, I mean…)
“Whatever. Have you talked to your mom recently? ‘Two in the pink, four in the stink, baby! Woooo!!!!”
-an overly-confident Count Rugen
LOL
The US can have a little bit of baseball, only as a treat.
I could have put slightly more vodka in this John Daly. Well, it happens.
Oh good, John Daly is at your house, good to know he’s safe. Make sure to give him plenty of cigarettes with that vodka.
I can’t not ever up-vote this movie.
Hmmm, documentary about 1913 Palestine, sounds cheery, I’ll watch
Probably not as depressing as a doc about post-WWII Palestine. King David Hotel FTW.
It’s a series, so that’s ep 3 I think. This is the first ep, it’s really 1880 – 1913, since the assassination of Alexander in Russia set off the pogroms that led to the first wave of Ashkenazim Jews emigrating to Palestine. It seems the first documented land dispute between Eastern European Jews and Ottoman Bedouin was in 1890
In hindsight, it seems like it was a bad idea for the Abrahamic religions to all have the same holy city
Gratliff, I logged in specifically to +1 this comment.
Hol’ up, this is MY favorite comment. You get your pork eatin’ self outta my holy comment thread mister!
I saw that in its more common form, Fiddler on the Roof.
Plaform please? This seems right in my wheelhouse.
PBS
Thanks! in the queue…
“We give it Two Thumbs Up!”
-Siskel and Picot
Weee-urp!
I don’t know why we need the NFL back when we can just watch videos of cops getting JACKED UP!
–
The problem with those moments is they’re going to immediately pay the kid back tenfold and use it as justification for all the shit they do before and after that moment.
According to the thread the kid actually got away.
Hopefully, it lasts. Too hard to get away long term these days. This was probably the cleanest riot cop takedown I’ve seen. From Chile last year, I think. Cop comes in with the shield, kid goes low and gets him off the ground, gets free of the pack, then there’s no way they’ll catch him with their gear on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i12FX1xAbmo
“At the risk of generalizing, it seems to me that riot cops have very lousy peripheral vision. And their 4:20 time? Abysmal.”
-NFL Scouts
I’m still betting the NFL won’t come back this year, so this is a good suggestion for a really solid schadenfreude fix
I’m between thinking it will come back for a short time until an entire team catches the virus and/or a player dies from it, and thinking it won’t come back at all. The latter is the safest route, and therefore the more doubtful.
Yeah, especially with the NFL you can never dismiss the possibility of a spectacular clusterfuck. Although I am kind of intrigued by the possibility of games without crowd noise.
Honestly, I think that’s a big fear for the NFL. The crowd noise really dampens the heavy contact hits and the lack of it will make some of those fairly stomach-churning. I suppose it’s possible they’ll pipe in fake crowd noise…?
[looks around nervously] – Atlanta Falcons management
Blue Fucking Assholes Matter?
“I’ll take, ‘Rejected Titles For Papa Smurf’s Autobiography’ for $800, Alex.”
DARK BLUE!!
SOME OF THEIR ASSHOLES ARE DARK BLUE, BLEACHED ASSHOLES ARE ALSO POPULAR WITH SMURFS, YOU BITCH.
I’m not usually a ‘post picture of my food’ type of person, but my dinner tonight looks like a still life. Deciding what I should watch while eating, feeling like something in the historical documentary category. I’m guess Ken Burns’s Baseball is good?
It’s lovely. What’s your tolerance level for Billy Crystal and Bob Costas?
Uncertain, but probably can tolerate for an hour if I pour a bigger glass of wine
Oh, well. At least I have the Bengals to look forward to.
Metropolitans PISSING on the sawx at Fenway.
That’s just an absolute shame. (Tee hee.)
At least some of the sporting community is still trolling him hard.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/07/nyt-reports-on-the-hilarious-saga-of-trump-not-throwing-out-the-first-pitch-at-yankee-stadium/
Imagine if he threw a beautiful 83 mph cut-fastball a lá Bartolo Colon.
According to MAGAdouches that is exactly what happened.
It would be fun to watch him implode on-field considering Stanton and Hicks are both kneeling for the anthem.
Man, that Hope Hicks sure spends a lot of time on her knees.
LOL
Aw, and I was looking forward to him punching himself in the face in the windup.
Birds! tweet tweet tweet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAVczALbbX4
Okay, we know what the joke is here.
Oh that’s classic!
Empty red seats is as close as I’ve ever seen to people of color at Fenway.
I guess “white” isn’t a color, huh?
HAHAHAHAHAHA. I don’t get it.
Me neither.
Jesus, Corey Taylor’s got new music coming out this week. Gotta keep the dad rock machine running at all times, I guess. Crazy to think it’s gotten to the point that Slipknot is the old music dads listen to embarrass their kids, but Alice Cooper was 10 years newer when I was born in ’83 than Slipknot is now, so I guess it makes sense.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1S8stvm8po
I saw Alice Cooper in concert 7 years before you appeared on this planet. Talk about feeling old.
And I have a kid almost in high school. Time is a mean-spirited bitch.
Time is not a thief. Time is an embezzler.
I read a comment on another site, about 2 weeks ago about a film crew that was filming footage of a DJ of some renown. What made the footage notable was the presence in the audience of several players from an unidentified MLB team. No masks. No social distancing. I took the tweet with a grain of salt, but made a note to watch for a team to spike. Guess it was the Marlins. COVID is making this country look even dumber than it is.
No, it really is that dumb.
Yeah, there’s going to be a lot of remarks this summer about dumb athletes doing risky things and screwing up sports, but the sad truth is, you take a couple hundred Americans at random, and you’ll see an amazing array of dumb reckless shit going on during this pandemic. That’s without factoring in that professional athletes are mostly men, and are younger than average.
I demand that these young millionaires risk their lives and/or long term health in order to provide me with entertainment and gambling opportunities!!!
The smart ones have already opted out.
O hell yeah. Look at the Rotoworld feed. Bruce Arians already said some Thunderdome shit. It’s crazy!
Youngsters making minimum wage are considered “essential.” Motherfuckers making thousands of dollars per minute played should game up.
Mostly agree. I think there’s some situations where it would make sense to play.
If I was an MLB player in my early 20s, and had a chance to burn off an entire year of service time towards arbitration and free agency (and thus the real money), that would be tempting. Assuming you don’t have a family you could infect, or any preexisting conditions of your own.
Year 2020: Condensed Version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1aUY57J3fo
OMG Log Roll was epic today!
Agreed. It was a great one to go out on.
Man City looking to get Jadon Sancho back; because why should EPL be competitive?
*sobs*
What is a Jadon Sancho and does it come with fries?
It does, actually. You get a basket of fried defender shin guards.
A very quick googly tells me Man U is doing the courting. What up?
Wacha out here throwing “patented pachydermy pitches”. I love when batters head back to the dugout looking at the pitcher like, “what the fuck was THAT?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2_dhUv_CrI
HOCH HECH!
Hmm… only hit batsman in the Astros game so far is a Mariner. Shape up, Seattle, or I’ll have Trump send in the troops to restore order!
I always felt like Sevendust should be more prominent among non-metal fans
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhUUO_S4bpA
Maybe doing graphics for the “woo woo”‘s is a bit overkill
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgnClrx8N2k
In 1975, I pirated the lyrics of “Sympathy for the Devil” and turned them in as a “poem” I wrote for an 11th grade English class, because the teacher was such a fucking nerd that I knew he would never know it was Jagger. Me and Mick got a B+.
So did me and Mark Farner in my “poem” about Captain Bligh. Bet Jagger has a lot more ready cash these days than Farner. Still, cool tune.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvOPucs7dC0
A high school friend bet me that our history teacher never read anything we turned in. The teacher’s name was Pete Petriska. I had to pay Greg 5 bucks when he showed me a short paper he got an A on that was about whatever the topic was, and in the middle of a line Greg wrote ” Pete is on hard drugs.” The only comment beside the grade was Great Job! I tried to argue that Pete read it, and since he actually was on hard drugs he didn’t feel the need to correct the true statement, but alas, I had to pay up.
On a note of personal interest, my adventure in poetry occurred right down the hill from your current location.
“V V Victory for the Var Var Varsity
Victory for the Varsity of Redlands High!”
Holy shit, lacrosse made the list of sports on tonight. Wooooooooooooooooo
It would really boost lacrosse’s profile if people started using lacrosse sticks to pick up and hurl back canisters of teargas at the Portland (and soon to be a-city-near-you) protests. People would say “what are those sticks with the nets on the end?” and we’d respond “they’re for lacrosse” and then they’d say “what’s lacrosse?” and then THEY’D BE OURS.
Already happening. Always do your quick stick drills, folks.
https://brobible.com/culture/article/portland-protestor-lacrosse-stick/
I just emptied 3 cans of Raid on 10 hornet’s nests around my house.
Call me the 20th century madman dictator of your choice. I’m going to have me a beer.
You could have done so much more with a simple lighter
You deserve it. The one time I had to do that here was terrifying. I did it late at night and literally the instant the poison hit the nest I saw those little fuckers coming out of their holes to assault me. Thank GOD that it included a foam to prevent them from doing exactly that. They reacted SO FUCKING FAST.
I’d like to revise my earlier comment: you deserve as many beers as you like.
I think I have PTSD from that incident, because now *I* want a beer, too. But I’m going to wait for my intestines to grow back first.
My sister and I had a bee in our bathroom once. We threw books at it from the doorway until one of us had a lucky strike and killed it. It still terrifies me to this day!
REPUBLICAN!
“We don’t know if ballsofsteelandfury has chemical weapons in his secret bunker, or as he calls it, his garage, but we also don’t know that we don’t know if he has chemical weapons.”
(speaking to the UN)
“And that’s why we had to raid his liquor cabinet and steal his TV.”
I’d love to see that carved into his tombstone someday.
I’m sure they could carve it somewhere right now
Wild coincidence, I destroyed a couple of incipient red hornet nests today using the most modern of chemical weapons.
“Big deal. I lit 10 fireworks & only lost three fingers.”
– Jason Pierre Paul
+1 lobster claw
Awwww! I love MXC Mondays!!
Damn it, Florida. It was cute when you exacerbated the political divisions of a whole country because you couldn’t fucking count, but now your incompetence is threatening to take sports away from us. Knock it off, or we’ll send you back to Spain!
https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/marlins-orioles-game-postponed-due-to-covid-19-outbreak-resulting-in-at-least-11-player-cases/
“I didn’t think it was cute.” – the environment…someone who worked in the World Trade Center…a newly orphaned Iraqi child…etc.
In addition to Bush 43, I was also being facetious.
Fucking Sarah Palin and her death squads anyway.
Palin, sure. But I’ll have to see the death squads before I commit to… Oh, you meant it in “adjective” form? Sorry, my confusion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm6qw_yeo6o
I bounced around the www quite a bit today, saw something about this, but don’t think I saw anything on DFO, although I may have missed it… I know this is a non-NBA-centric site, but thought this might be a good topic for mockery.
https://www.tampabay.com/news/health/2020/07/26/clippers-lou-williams-in-10-day-nba-quarantine-after-stop-at-atlanta-strip-club/
It involved strippers. It was brushed upon, but no direct contact was made, Your Honor.
Oh, I mentioned it in the earlier thread.
That’s why I like your Monday thread. It really emphasizes how much I miss because I either can’t be on during the day or I am too drunk to remember every post from the evening threads, even if I do actually see them.
I am sure that I like Zooropa (both the song and the album) more than most people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzdmXOUZpGw
Kind of impressive how elaborate these lyrics videos are becoming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32hUIGnMpOY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpMfZPAc1kg