Look at that shiny new machine! Them Raiders are going to take it for a spin tonight but without the delightful characters that usually inhabit the stands. I think that’s a minor victory for you and I, the average viewer. I’ve a few observations but I think we should first take a stroll down Injury Lane. [holds out hand]
C.J. Uzomah-Achilles tendon ruptureroo
McCaffrey-High Cankle Strain
Saquon-ACL owchie
S. Shepard-Toe is turfed, concussion scheduled for wk. 8
D. Adams-Strained Hamster
P. Campbell-Sprained MCL/PCL/IPO/CIA
Jimmy G.-Ankle Kablooie
R. Mustard-MCL, with the Candlestick, on the field
T. Coleman-“Mystery Knee Thingy”
C. Akers-Ribs (Un-sauced)
C. Sutton-taking courses at ACLU “GO TORTS!”
D. Lock-“Labrum? I hardly know him!”
Tyrod T.-Chest Pains caused by painkilling injection*
*might be a fact
TO THE GAME!
Saints/Raiders:
-The Raiders generous D gifted the (“We’re thinking about tanking, we’ll see how it goes”) Panthers with 30 points last week so you may want to take the over on the Brees getting 2.5 TD passes.
-Yeah, sure Michael Thomas and his lion’s share (32%) of passing targets is gone but the Raiders D ranked 31st in Football Outsiders DVOA stat and they didn’t really upgrade that much. I’m guessing that Kamara and Sanders eat a part of that up and that there will be a renewed focus on the ground game.
-Rb Jacobs scored himself 3 TD’s last week and that puts him at almost 50% of the way towards his 7 total from last year. I don’t imagine he’ll have the space to run tonight that he had last week. That Saints D has playmakers at every level, as a certain Mr. Brady discovered last week.
Any score predictions? I’ll do 35-13 Saints. Give me yours down below. Speaking of below, closest to the final tally gets a virtual pat on the rump.
is the lead singer made of plastic or is that just what being Mormon does to you
Yeah the other dudes have aged, where as he looks fresh out of the plastic.
This is far more PG than I would expect or prefer for the first Raiders half time in Vegas
THIS HALF TIME SHOW I CALL IT THE 49ERS DEFENSE, BECAUSE IT LOOKED GOOD ON PAPER BEFORE WEEK 2!!!!
The drummer of The Killers always looked like he’d be way more fun to hang out with than the rest of the band
The cameraperson seems to like him.
No one should be working. The only reason anyone is working is because every institution in the U.S. has collectively failed so catastrophically that it’s only because our collective apathy and fear that the entire world isn’t on fire.
What would Nick Bosa’s jersey say if they were allowed to customize them like the NBA?
“Rittenhouse.”
Say His Name
Matron!
Is that a real photo in the banner?
Oh no! Carr crash!
I will never be this frightening in my life
Nothing is more frightening than Death
That’s just Breesus’ house warming gift.
Much more thoughtful than a fruit basket!
Pickerception
Zay was going for $800 on DraftKings tonight
PC Load Letter
Empty stadiums and fake crowd noise is peak 2020
Ok the hand sanitizer celly was good
LOL
gotta get a little squirt squirt
Naked down!
that was a sick catch
this better stay as a TD
Ten completions in a row? I think Carr gets a comped breakfast buffet at Caesar’s Palace for that.
Watching the raiders not matter and doing blow…IM GONNA LIVE FOREVER!!!!
reality is that I am in bed, gently falling asleep while sipping warm milk.
Do you think Richie Incognito has a good twin somewhere named Poorey Unconcealed?
2020 – Nelson Aglohor caught a football.
Yo my bad everyone. My black ass sat next to richie on the bus so his head ain’t in this game.
How many of the visitor’s lockers has Incognito shit in at the “Death Star”?
Thanks Lisa, but I’m pretty sure this is far from the first time Richie Incognito has been called “questionable.”
Fucking Trump ad. Drink!
TRUMP HAS CREATED 10.6 MILLION JERBS IN FOUR MONTHS!!!!
/please do not ask us about the 30 million lost over the preceding 3 months
Donald Trump: Look how high I made this dead cat bounce
PornHub has the strangest ads*.
*Or so I’ve heard
I’m really curious what audience they’re trying to reach. The ‘undecided’ voter is somewhat of a myth, there are plenty of apathetic voters so you can use advertising to drive turnout, but is that really what he’s trying to do?
He just likes to see his image and hear his name on the teevee.
Like babies and housepets!
But at least those are likable.
Damn right they are, that’s why they get their own channels!
https://www.dogtv.com/
Bow wow
Both my parents believe Hilary Clinton create Covid to kill Herman Cain.
Why yes I had to secure power of attorney to protect them.
So they think Hillary is a really inefficient assassin? The Russians are good at assassination
Oooh, good place to come in. Although if that had been Calvin Johnson no way that would be considered a catch
this brewers first baseman is thicccccc
thats a cool job
design sports graphics packages for live sports/television
it’s a shitty job, as evidenced by the hacks who do it
I spent more time putting together the intro to this game tonight than I did writing my notes for a director’s meeting tomorrow.
Solid choice.
/sits down to write notes
“You good”
/celebrates accomplishment with alcohol
I do like the black and white aesthetic to the Raider Stadium. Corporate logo colors can deal with it.
Yea you look way better on the left dipshit
I think he looks fine – Kenny rogers
Who the hell is Travis Tritt?
Right wing country singer who had some moments in the 90’s.
One of the better self-owns I’ve ever seen.
Wait, which picture is supposed to be the humiliating one?
LOL he didn’t identify the original & altered
some lucky Arab high roller is going fork over six figures for an hour with that stallion
Ingold with the vulture!
Jacobs time please!!!
Request denied. Your daily reminder that FF is a terrible disease.
Every. God. Damn. League.
Is this the first time the new MNF booth has ever been in the same place?
It’s like they just met in the parking lot before the game.
It would be neat if a QB did that KILL KILL KILL! call, and triggered a hypnotized assassin on the sidelines/pitch, who then started murdering everyone on live teevee.
Wow, made it 45 seconds into the Canadian intermission report before muting, as opposed to the 4.5 nanoseconds that I usually make it into the NBC one.
Kelly Hrudey or Elliotte Friedman?
Witten is a Raydah?
WHY do my IT guys insist one forcing out a security update NOW!
I bet one of dinos in sales clicked on a phishing email
Friday nights are for either Magic: The Gathering or Dungeons & Dragons?
One of the guys in my very old money league that I’ve always thought was ‘a bit off’ came out recently. His team’s name this year is “God’s Plan”. And no C. Godwin is not on his roster.
Did he say he’d rather draft Michael Sam before Kaep?
If he is into God then he would be in to Lennay Kekua in my opinion.
In a chat with my buddies (Non DFoers), one guy made a joke that Carr can’t hear the plays because of all The Smiths he has piped into his headset.
Typical Fulham yobs.
Raiders still need a better line but I think Carr is not long for the desert.
And Mariota waiting in the wings.
But it’s not a wet Hawaiian heat. He’ll melt just like Carr’s makeup when he’s standing in line at Macabre Mercantile.
“look through”
He was just there perusing the political cartoons. Our JJD was very advanced for his age.
And Little Annie Fanny. Kurtzman was a genius.
Tampa falling back on their superior intelligence, superior firepower, to dominate this period
Tampa superior intelligence??? Are they playing a team from Tallahassee?
Well to be fair most of the players are originally from Moose Jaw or Saskatoon
Stop those cant be real places. Canada clearly has a cloning facility.
This reads like the beginning of one of Buddy’s stories…
Thinking I might rewatch Toast of London.
Interesting note, the actor playing Ray Purchase in real life is married to the Jen actress from IT Crowd
the cool new stadiums are cool
This one is painted black and not black from Crystal meth fumes.
Mark Davis. . . did a good?
Mark Davis isn’t there? Was there a line at PF Chang’s?
He’s getting a haircut.
I think if you are penalized on the extra point, the try should only be worth 0.5
You just want pushes on half point spreads
Aaaaanddd what’s wrong with that?
“.5? That’s my resting BAC.”
-Steve Keim
Dawwwww, we don’t get “HI! I’M MARK DAVIS” tonight.