“Let Lesser Footy Be Thine Escape” Sabado Open Thread

Hey, did y’all notice?  Darkest Timeline got darker.  As a Karmic punishment, #NuAIDS for teh win!  But chaos is not the ally of the progressive-minded American right now.

So…let’s not think about it.  Lesser Footy and JV NFL slate, commence!

No, you are not waking up (intentionally) for Chelski hosting Palace.  But it streams on Peacock at 7:30, before the real action begins.  Yes, your ONLY 10a window fixture is beat-the-fuck-up-but-still-PERFECT Everton welcoming the Trashbirds (NBCSN).  Brighton have been surprisingly watchable, in the early days.  Should be a reasonably open affair, at minimum.  We get two weeks off to heal up, and that will feel much better sitting on 12 points, rather than 9 or 10.  BUHLEE DAT!

Spotlight dance is City away to New Media Darlings Leeds (12:30, NBC).  As our collaboUrations, eh? panel told you…everyone hates these jammy fucks.  And as such, we Lesser enthUsiasts will expect and welcome the “Angry Pep” beatdown that’s on its way.  Too bad the line will be unbettable, for all practical purposes.

You aren’t streaming Team White Lives Matter away to Barcodes, period, end of.  Our many Spurs supporters – along with bk’s wife (is she unofficially Tank Girl??) and Wakey – will look forward to Sunday Funday’s best entertainment (11:30, NBCSN).  Bleeds into Glorious RedZone time, but everyone remember to wave hello.  You weren’t raised in no goddamned barn!

TCU (+11.5) at Texas (Noon, Fox)

Steerfuckers South are the luckiest sumbitches on the JV planet.  This is perhaps my bet of the week (Bloodeyes to cover in front of God and Gus Johnson).

Texas A&M (+18) at Alabama (3:30, CBS)

Perhaps Roll Damn Tide will have the same jaw-dropping dropoff we saw from LSU last weekend.  But I suspect we will not.  Afternoon nap time MEANS MOAR.

Texas Tech (+2.5) at Kansas State (3:30, FS1)

I know, I know.  TOO MUCH TEXAS.  But this really is fascinating.  Guns Up!! couldn’t be any more deflated, losing like they did against Steerfuckers South last week.  Unded Bill Snyders?  Complete opposite, coming off a most improbable comeback win over Steerfuckers North.  And they aren’t even getting the standard 3 (or 4, since is JV), which screams SUCKER BET.

Ole Miss (+6) at Kentucky (4:00, SECN)

This is a pretty big number for Kenfucky FITBAW against pretty much anyone.  Even Lane Kiffin.  I have a sneaking suspicion that this will be wildly entertaining.

Auburn (+7.5) at Georgia (7:30, ESPN)

These seem like two even squadrons to me, and that’s likely EXTREMELY generous to Jawja.  They have no quartered back, and struggled with freaking ARKANSAS last week.  War Damn Eagle has a terrifying front seven.  Put those factors together?  Have to love Aubie ML and maybe even the dreaded under bet.

Arkansas (+17) at Mississippi State (7:30, SECN-Alt)

Yeah, I think we all want to see Mike Leach’s encore.  Hopefully, his QB’s arm ain’t fall off from all that LSU embarrassing duty.  Pig Sooey were scrappy last week, but I am mostly seeing that as UGA weakness.

Oklahoma (-7) at Iowa State (7:30, ABC)

Both these teams ought to be right pissed off.  Vegas thinks Steerfuckers North is the side who can do sommet about it.  I always like Cornpone State more than I should (see pictured cheer squadron).