Your “Language is a Virus Also” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

I laughed way too much at my dumb joke. TO THE GAMES!

Jags/Bengals:

Do you have A.J. Green sitting on your team, mocking you for your draft decisions? Yeah, he hasn’t even caught 50% of the balls headed his way yet but Fear Not! He’s been covered by cb’s Hayward, Ward and Slay the first three weeks but this Jags D has the highest expected points per pass play so far this year.

Vikes/Texans:

I’ve never drafted Will Fuller, ever, because inconsistency and injuries but if you have him this might be a spot. The once formidable Minny D is giving up the 4th most fantasy points to wr’s.

Browns/Cowboys:

Dalton Schultz was on no one’s radar and only became a starter in wk. 2 but he’s already TE10. Cleveland gives up the 3rd most targets and receptions to the position.

Ravens/Team:

[wails “The Waiting is the Hardest Part”] The frickin snaps arrangement in the Baltimore backfield is Dobbins (38%), Ingram (35%) and Edwards (27%). Team’s D-line flashed in wk.1 but now Ioamidis is on IR and Young is listed as doubtful. Ravens win this running away.

Saints/Lions:

As mentioned by Fronk(?), “Stafford Smash!”. Since wk.10 last year all but two qb’s have thrown for two or more scores vs. the N.O. D. NO D. Get it?

Cards/Panthers:

Want some data that reinforces your noggin notion that Bridgewater is a passive game manager? On throws over 5(!) yards his completion percentage is 43.4. Meanwhile, on the other side, Murray struggles in the 10-19 ‘intermediate’ range-his passing grade of 54.2 is the league’s worst.

Chargers/Bucs:

You may want to start Brady this week because 1) he threw 3 td’s last week and 2) Tampa’s run game is in tatters what with Fournette out and Jones The II being who he is.

Seahawks/Fins:

Trying to decide whether to start Carson and I see Miami’s run D hasn’t allowed a runner more than 56 yards so far this year. That’s not really a stat, that’s just happenstance, right?

Comment as you fit.

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Recovery Whiskey

FOX is dunking on JEST fans

Gratliff

I need the football to not suck today out of respect for the shit week we’re about to experience. Michigan’s Supreme Court declared Whitmer’s unilateral State of Emergency declarations after the initial one to be unconstitutional, which nullifies most of the executive orders since May. Also, they got the signatures for the petition to strip emergency powers from the Governor’s office, and since the GOP-dominated legislature has been promoting it, you can assume that shit’s gonna sail right through. Legislature passed due to petitions isn’t subject to veto, so even if the court didn’t fuck things up, it was all going to get reversed in short order anyway. All this comes as Michigan’s daily case count has risen back to late April levels. Good times.

King Hippo

Seriously, your Republicans is crazy enough to be Southern

Gratliff

When the Tea Party was in full swing, they swept through the state, tearing down every moderate Republican even considering holding office. All we have left is the crazies.

clint greasewood

I’m getting more COVID information from fantasy Football morning shows than the Trump Administration.

Sharkbait

Rolling with Fitzmagic today instead of Mahomes. I can’t risk the game getting cancelled for more positive tests

rockingdog

Alakzam baby!

Recovery Whiskey

Pretty sure Seattle’s defense will oblige

Don T

Hear hear. I sat Kelce.
We’re fucked, ain’t we?

rockingdog

Quick Fantasy Football Question:
RB Devin Singletary as a FLEX is a good idea, right?
Dude is gonna have something like 18 carries for 75 yrds + 1 TD, right? Or am I crazy?

litre_cola

Oh hell yes. Play him! Ppr?

Spur

Glory Boy QB steals all of Devin’s touches.

Spur

Parking in the Rear

litre_cola

For the wrestling guys here, I bought this for my buddy who is also a big fan.
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clint greasewood

These Manu assholes had the nerve to say Maguire was close to Van Dijk.

Spur

Who you calling an Asshole???
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litre_cola

4 clogs out of 5

Spur

NO! NO! I just heard the worst news, Donald Trump is feeling better.

Gratliff

Still think they’re doing the Bolsonaro thing. I assume he’s just being intubated between videos.

Don T

You know it
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Gratliff

Can’t tell if Kurt Warner got the mouth AIDS or if he’s just wearing his mask incorrectly, possibly by punching himself in the mouth repeatedly while wearing it

rockingdog

found a funny:

“this corrupt city needs a hard rain. a hard penetrating rain for a dirty city. a thrusting rain. god so deep” – from my novel Sex Rain

Game Time Decision

And the following up sex sleet ( or skeet)
For the Northern folks: sex snow
For the pain crowd: Sex hail
And when Disney gets a hold of it: Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs

Don T

Hmmm… Non-union, Belizean equivalent
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Spur

Morning Folks

Gratliff

Holy shit, we get to watch Brian Hoyer tomorrow. Chiefs by 40.

King Hippo

yep, just went from “loose stools” to “Ebola-calibre diarrhea” afterward

King Hippo

Midtylland WOO!!!!!

Last edited 4 years ago by King Hippo
Gratliff

See, without the J, this just sounds like some Welsh girl

Redshirt

Welcome aboard?

Redshirt

Can you guys help me move some lawn furniture or install some Venetian blinds? I’m trying to upgrade the Bengals offensive line.

Spur

Just pay for the plantation shutters. Best investment you’ll make

Gratliff

To Dare is to do

yeah right

Yep. It’s the club slogan of Tottenham.

King Hippo

Everton’s is “Nil Satis Nisi Optimum” or “Nothing But the Best is Satisfactory”

/only ever stated in Latin, or as “NSNO”

Gratliff

Definitely some OP’d slogans in soccer. In the NFL you just get shit like “Go Birds” or Dallas’ “Don’t say anything to the detective without a lawyer present”

King Hippo

I’d yid HER army!!!

King Hippo

At least Wakey has the LOLfins to cheer him up

King Hippo

/Ole Gunnar “Disappointed Dad” face intensifies

rockingdog

LOL
Some doctor should sneak some psychedelics drug into ol Donny Trumps drugs while he is the hospital.

herodotus450

Ol Hospital Donald as I like to call him

yeah right

I never got into the hard shit like Lebanon baloney though. That shit will kill you.

Sharkbait

Soft red

Sharkbait

That’s putting it mildly.

King Hippo

This game is the Lesser equivalent of Pete Carroll “letting Russ cook”

Sharkbait

United down to 10

Gratliff

People are talking about Seb Gorka again, so hopefully we get more Adomian bits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I7XGqLi5vE

King Hippo

Slabhead having a ‘mare

Sharkbait

Son is so good

Sharkbait

Spurs-United Banana cakes 5 minutes in

litre_cola

This game is dedicated to the late TWBS, 3 goalz in 7 minutes?!?!?! That’s unpossible!

King Hippo

Multiple Commentists React Reasonably

litre_cola

Man U with yet another penalty. 2020 folks!

litre_cola

Instant sudden change!

Don T

Should’ve been you, PIT @ TEN! ?
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Don T

Lines from the future:
Hoyer, B. 3/7, 0 TD 1 INT 2 FMB

Sharkbait

I send that clip out every year on Thanksgiving

Game Time Decision

When the reaUl thanksgiving happens or the one that comes at the end of November?

blaxabbath

These animals will eat each other long before they ever think to eat the rich. Just wait until their messiah is dead and JFKjr doesn’t magically appear to lead them to the promised trailer park.

621CC42A-070B-4CC8-8CBF-9CAF8293FB8A.jpeg
King Hippo

#MeToo

/spirit animal!!

montythisseemsstrangetome

Goddammit Scotchy for the last time get out of my basement.

King Hippo

Be careful, he might take “for the last time” a certain way…

King Hippo

Benevento WOO!!!!!

King Hippo

goddamnit, Inter

King Hippo

I refer to their national side as “The Hoteliers” b/c I’mma go to Hell.

/yes, your joke is MOAR creative

King Hippo

HEY, Wolves done stole NC State’s “The Strength of the Wolf is in the Pack” slogan!!

King Hippo

Inter HT has formally broken my cold streak. Still have HT on Midtylland, FT on Inter and Benevento to go.

King Hippo

Inter WOO!!!!!!!!

litre_cola

Course? So the female you have been wooing came through?

King Hippo

No, but she is a wop, so maybe she is giving me Serie A luck??

King Hippo

almost had a penno at HT death for Benevento (against run of play), but VAR overturned. Probably for me saying wop.

litre_cola

We haven’t conceded yet. Just wait, its coming.

herodotus450

Do you have A.J. Green sitting on your team,

Here, come here, I have a nice tight jacket and a padded room for you.

King Hippo

yes, like mother’s loving arms, these

litre_cola

In all honesty, I don’t know if I can watch this. Frustrated and pissed off is nawt the way to start a Sunday.

King Hippo

RedZone muzak is available!

Fronkenshteen

Taking foxes apart!

litre_cola

PETA frowns.

King Hippo

Someone say ‘pita??’ – Andy R., Kansas City, MO

King Hippo

Teach that Tory Cunt Frank Lampard some manners!

Fronkenshteen

What a fucking run by Declan Rice. Like a fucking antelope!

King Hippo

All I want is sole possession of FIRST muthafuckin position through the international break. Is that too much to ask?

litre_cola

Hippo, Wolves to score over 1.5 is 2 to 1. We are starting Ream and MLM. That is a nightmare.

HAMMER THAT BET

Don T

Two goal buffer in GD. Another great game yesterday. Everton and Leeds are must-record on mah computer.

King Hippo

I give Leeds massive credit for yesterday. Flipped over at halftime of Wolven Sort, stayed to the end and missed part of Q3.

Don T

That second half was frantic. The Manfred Manns were GASSED at the end. Splendid, wonderful show.

King Hippo

So often see slop in conditions like that, but was some magnificent stuff played.

litre_cola

After 30 minutes, I can say that Anderlecht is trash.

King Hippo

Do you have translation on DAZN, or is they speaking in Waffle?

litre_cola

Oh it’s an English announcer and he is very fired up!!!

Fronkenshteen

WEST HAM WOO x 2!!!

litre_cola

Congrats Fronk. Apart from.Gamblor, futbol is ded to me. I 100% blame Tony Khan and will refuse to let the West London team make me angry.

King Hippo

$90 on Inter, $50 on Benevento. HAIL!!!

litre_cola

DAZN has the Belgian league (odd). Bruges v Anderlecht, nice, very nice.

King Hippo

I lost Every. Single. Bet. Yesterday. My fucked up sleep schedule is all that keeps me from a $0 balance this morning (still have 2 bills after the Eye-Tie bets).

litre_cola

I hit my Ligue 2 bet but lost my SexiMexi bet because Club America is stupid.

Fronkenshteen

When did the old man turn the team over to Billy Madison? I’m glad Hammers are playing with purpose and, dare I say, joy. That being said, they’re still one of those clubs where if absolutely EVERYTHING goes right, we finish 8th. They are REALY under Lester’s skin today, which shows me their thrashing [Basil Fawlty fist shake] of Wolves weren’t no fluke.

litre_cola

He has been Director of Futbol since they bought the ub from Fayed. Luckily Fulham is a nice part of London so he could attract players. Unfortunately his scouting team is liquid shit and now we a re a yoyo club.

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