Your “Language is a Virus Also” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

I laughed way too much at my dumb joke. TO THE GAMES!

Jags/Bengals:

Do you have A.J. Green sitting on your team, mocking you for your draft decisions? Yeah, he hasn’t even caught 50% of the balls headed his way yet but Fear Not! He’s been covered by cb’s Hayward, Ward and Slay the first three weeks but this Jags D has the highest expected points per pass play so far this year.

Vikes/Texans:

I’ve never drafted Will Fuller, ever, because inconsistency and injuries but if you have him this might be a spot. The once formidable Minny D is giving up the 4th most fantasy points to wr’s.

Browns/Cowboys:

Dalton Schultz was on no one’s radar and only became a starter in wk. 2 but he’s already TE10. Cleveland gives up the 3rd most targets and receptions to the position.

Ravens/Team:

[wails “The Waiting is the Hardest Part”] The frickin snaps arrangement in the Baltimore backfield is Dobbins (38%), Ingram (35%) and Edwards (27%). Team’s D-line flashed in wk.1 but now Ioamidis is on IR and Young is listed as doubtful. Ravens win this running away.

Saints/Lions:

As mentioned by Fronk(?), “Stafford Smash!”. Since wk.10 last year all but two qb’s have thrown for two or more scores vs. the N.O. D. NO D. Get it?

Cards/Panthers:

Want some data that reinforces your noggin notion that Bridgewater is a passive game manager? On throws over 5(!) yards his completion percentage is 43.4. Meanwhile, on the other side, Murray struggles in the 10-19 ‘intermediate’ range-his passing grade of 54.2 is the league’s worst.

Chargers/Bucs:

You may want to start Brady this week because 1) he threw 3 td’s last week and 2) Tampa’s run game is in tatters what with Fournette out and Jones The II being who he is.

Seahawks/Fins:

Trying to decide whether to start Carson and I see Miami’s run D hasn’t allowed a runner more than 56 yards so far this year. That’s not really a stat, that’s just happenstance, right?

Comment as you fit.

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
460 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Sharkbait

Chubb ded?

litre_cola

Sounds right, my other rb is Ekeler…..

Recovery Whiskey

Pete takes the points

litre_cola

Ekeler ded.

Don T

Mike McCarthy grows a pair. Keep it weird, 2020.

ArmedandHammered

Dak distracted him with some ice cream and called the play.

ArmedandHammered

Bridgedown!

King Hippo

yeah, Jerral, that DAK! ain’t no good

Spur

wow Dak throw a dart to Coop

litre_cola

What a throw. Pay that man!

herodotus450

Is Cincinnati the Jacksonville of the North, or is Jacksonville the Cincinnati of the South? The debate rages on, as ever.

Recovery Whiskey

Tommy Brady is no longer the GOAT.

Gatoraids

Goat curry is still goat

Doktor Zymm

I like that the fake fans have better seats than the real fans

Gatoraids

Paper Seat License holders

litre_cola

I have a feeling this is going to be one of those crazy Fitzpatrick games.

Doktor Zymm

Oh that was LOVELY

Gatoraids

Brady showing as you get older it takes longer for the balls to get there

TheRevanchist

I subbed him in for Cam Newton and living that regret lifestyle.

ArmedandHammered

There is the new Brady!

King Hippo

DreamPick6Boat AND HIPPO STARTED CLIPPERS DU MERDE D/ST!!

Gatoraids

Brady magic

King Hippo

not his fault, Evans hurt obvs

Gatoraids

Also godwin’s fault for not fully enrolling in TB13 training and diet and being injured

King Hippo

A different kind of “gaping fantasy”

Don T

Fucken VAR

Sharkbait

Only betting I did today was Zach Pascal over 3.5 catches

Sharkbait

$10 figured why not

litre_cola

Said by many people in strip mall parking lots.

Don T

Hollywood touchdown woo!

King Hippo

THROW TO JEFFERSON YOU DUMB FUNDIE PIECE OF SHIT

Spur

Despite all his prayers, Mike Pence is not in charge yet

King Hippo

you misspelled “Mother”

Fronkenshteen

Now give Davis the TD dammit

King Hippo

hallelujah

Gratliff

Shit, I can’t believe I missed the title of this thread. A virus based on languages is literally the plot of Metal Gear Solid V (Hideo is fucking crazy). One of the main characters is a questionably-designed sniper named “Quiet”. She’s a mute for most of the game until it’s revealed that she doesn’t talk because she carries the English variant. Look, you don’t play these games for cohesive narratives.
comment image

Gatoraids

He also designed her to be COVID resistant by having her breathe through her skin. Truly a visionary

Gratliff

It might be time for a replay of it. The joy I experienced from the game play is definitely worth the brain damage from the plot.

bk109

Or … you can replay the entire Mass Effect trilogy – the story is way better than the “Kojima on shrooms” you get in MGS5…. Plus for a (fucking hell, ?!) 13 year old game, it’s got solid graphics and nice music (and with some quick mods, it’s bloody great)

Gratliff

I feel like playing through the whole trilogy 3 times is enough at this point. RIP Bioware

bk109

Sure, it may at first appear enough, then you remember that new games are shit and this at least provides a fun experience … (and with the MEHEM mod the trilogy gets a good conclusion, no Catalyst nor “Choose your own colour” lightbeam bollocks 😀 )

Gratliff

You play it for abducting PMC operatives with balloons while blasting Laura Branigan. I can not recommend it enough.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPUTxqis6kA

Spur

comment image

Fronkenshteen

That used to be Gallup. *sob*

Spur

LAMB DOWN!

ArmedandHammered

If the Browns beat the NGCP, does McCarthy get lassoed and pulled behind a truck all the way back to Wisconsin?

Fronkenshteen

sometimes I get one right. The saints whole secondary is hurt.

King Hippo

shoulda ML bet, kicking meself

litre_cola

Hi! I listened to Fronk!

King Hippo

Golladay! Celebrate!!!

litre_cola

Gambling me likes the Breeserception, FF me does not.

Gatoraids

Trickeration or Treat at the factory

Doktor Zymm

No matter what happens on the field today, I think we can all agree that the coronavirus is the REAL winner

Gatoraids

Now it’s 1st and goal from the 4 for coronavirus still has a little more work to do

Spur

coronavirus really spreads around the ball. Makes it really hard to stop

Gatoraids

I agree coronavirus is capable of make some breath taking plays

King Hippo

#NuAIDS FTW!!!

Spur

Football is a dumb sport

Don T

comment image

bk109

G’evening lads… I hope yer day’s going better than mine

Fronkenshteen

Sweet buttery fatdown.

ArmedandHammered

Fitzmagic to Fitizzle.

TheRevanchist

Sunday is the only day of the week I look forward to.

litre_cola

Fitzception.

Gatoraids

Going to be one those Fitzmagic games

Recovery Whiskey

Seahox pickerception

King Hippo

Humps/Bears went to 4, huzzah

Fronkenshteen

SEVEN HOURS

King Hippo

Which is a loooooonnnnng time to be on the beak. If I were President, Scott Hanson would get the Medal of HonoUr.

Fronkenshteen

Heh heh.

68EB57EB-684B-43F5-9FDE-9CD796C2E2EF.jpeg
TheRevanchist

Viagra works miracles.

Don T

I started AP. Gonna regret it All Day.

Fronkenshteen

That’s a paddlin’.

King Hippo

The opening sounds of RedZone are my choir of angels on high.

Recovery Whiskey

Reverend Scott Hansen presiding at the Church of Football.

litre_cola

I stare at a church outside my place. Those people look unhappy on Sundays. When they could congregate.

rockingdog

Game TIME!
comment image

Recovery Whiskey

“Most of the country you don’t get an early game”. That seems .. non optimal

clint greasewood

Trump feeling better?
comment image

Last edited 3 years ago by clint greasewood
Spur

comment image

Gratliff

I’ll never forget that time Chuck Norris taught us all how to climb like that. It ultimately turned out to be ill-advised to teach Jonathan Brandis about ropes.
comment image