Your “Creeping Closer To Wednesday Night Football?” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s get to it.

TO THE GAMES!

Panthers/Falcons:

Does Atlanta finally get their first W? Carolina is coming off two straight wins and the Falcons have given up 30 or more points every single week to date. Still, Julio might be back and that makes a huge difference to a Panthers D that is slowly, very slowly improving. Not helping matters? Atlanta has played 11 different guys in the secondary after only 4 weeks. It’s pure carnage back there.

Raiders/Chiefs:

Wakey, wakey left coasters! Cb Breeland is back for the Chiefs after a scheduled holiday as a result of taking ‘substances’. Last week Mahomes had his 2nd-worst graded game of his career and still the Pats were easily handled. That’s what a Hoyer-Stidham combo will do for you. His talent aside, Patty benefits from his receivers getting open ‘big’-like an average of 3 yards big.

Cards/Jets:

Le’Veon has been taken off IR but that’s sorta like you rearranging the kitchen appliances that your redneck cousin threw out onto his front lawn. Darnold looks like Josh Allen did last year-even when he gets a clean pocket his throws sail overhead or eat dirt. Needless to say, his ability to throw into tight windows is wanting as well.

Eagles/Steelers:

Many thought that with all kinds of time to get healthy The Ben would regain some former semblance of his younger self. (I thought he’d be a sneaky-good player to draft at the bottom end of drafts-dodged that bullet) His rate of uncatchable passes is 5th worst in the league, according to PFF.

Rams/Team:

Team’s D will likely be turned this way and that by a Rams squadoo that employs play-action on almost 50% of their passes. That’s a usage rate that hasn’t been seen before and Goff and Co. has obviously taken full advantage.

Bengals/Ravens:

Burrow continues to amaze under some dire circumstances-his passing grade of 79.4 ties him for 7th in the league with Mahomes. This despite the fact that he’s been hit/sacked 34 times, most in the league. Today the beatings will continue as the Ravens employ the blitz on 46% of plays.

Jags/Texans:

Who knew the Jags O-line was this good? Despite being saddled with an UDFA in James Robinson, they have maintained the ability to create running lanes. Robinson’s 4.8 ypc to date actually seems sustainable.

Have at it below.

 

 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Mother Puncher

I upvoted you buddy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

At least my Andy Reid fat joke wasn’t downvoted into oblivion.

rockingdog

Thats a funny

Gratliff

That was definitely a tackle attempt of some sort

King Hippo

This LeVeon/Gore backfield would be some hot shit, if only we were still in Obama’s first term.

LemonJello

THIS WASHINGTON TEAM, I CALL THEM FOIA DOCUMENTS BECAUSE THEY WERE AT LEAST MORE INTERESTING WHEN THEY WERE REDACTED!

Horatio Cornblower

B***er this.

Horatio Cornblower

My wife is working topless, but since it’s because she’s having hot flashes it is not as much fun as you’d think.

Gatoraids

Delonte west wants to know your location

King Hippo

Tell her I get those too, must have male menopause which I am sure is just as bad as lady menopause smh

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t understand how a post that includes “topless” and “hot” and “flashes” could be so unsexy.

Horatio Cornblower

Keep getting older, it’ll all make sense.

TheRevanchist

Don’t let her attitude interfere with your visual enjoyment.

rockingdog

Baby BUSTER back at it
LOL runs it in for a TD!!!

JustStopDude

I know Mike Brown is a cheap SOB but can he please get a team around Joe Burrow to at least not waste the money he already invested in the kid?

Horatio Cornblower

“No.”

Mike Brown

Doktor Zymm

Maybe he’s misapplying the Sunk Cost fallacy?

Mother Puncher

I thought it was weird when they spent money on every position bit o line this summer. Just makes no sense

Mother Puncher

Bengals aren’t going to score a single point

WCS

So, their normal offensive strategy.

Redshirt

I love AJ Green, but someone need to take him behind the woodshed and put him down. He’s done.

King Hippo

You are correct, magical pony.

Redshirt

Voiceover:

We’ve replaced the Bengals’ Offensive Line with holograms. Let’s see if anyone notices.

WCS

Ron Howard: “No one did.”

LemonJello

comment image

King Hippo

Claypool was available when I picked up Zaccheaus on waivers this am.

Horatio Cornblower

I, too, thought about picking up Claypool, then did not.

Shall I reserve a table for two under the name “Genius, party of two”?

WCS

comment image

Mother Puncher

If you’re playing notes that high why not just play a guitar

Gratliff

Eagles running their famous “Gift Package” defense

WCS

Much obliged!

Gratliff

Jalen Mills should be holding up a sign like he’s a limo driver at an airport

King Hippo

I enjoy them showing what a dipshit Adam Gase is.

Doktor Zymm

I like Bobby Tables. comment image

Mother Puncher

The movie Palm Springs made me cry in a super manly way last night

Horatio Cornblower

I was rewatching ‘You’re The Worst’ last night and stumbled on the line “I love him like the black son I aborted in high school” and I was also crying, but probably for different reasons.

Doktor Zymm

It’s probably kind of a relief that the Raiders don’t have to worry about ticket sales during their first year in Vegas

blaxabbath

ARi is proof that visitors will always get you a sellout.

blaxabbath

Cut shot of KC. Can’t imagine I’d ever think of that place if not for the Chiefs.

Gatoraids

Minshew dad needs his space

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Redshirt

Bengals DE Carlos Dunlap responds to his benching by trying to kill Ravens QB Lamar Jackson and screwing the Bengals over. That’ll show ’em.

Beerguyrob

AKA “The Full Berfict”.

LemonJello

*chef’s kiss*

Mother Puncher

They don’t put him in on many plays, so he’s going to play extra on those plays

blaxabbath

How very Bengals of him.

King Hippo

Took 43 minutes before RedZone shows a HOU/JAX play

Redshirt

Well it is called “Redzone”.

blaxabbath

Raiders need to run the rock…

F93FE664-5C76-4756-9201-04E61F642280.jpeg
Gratliff

Why doesn’t Philly call more 70 yard runs?

Gatoraids

Sanders took it to ludicrous speed

Beerguyrob

You know where true loyalties lie when the sound guys for NFL broadcasts play Van Halen into commercials cutaways.

WCS

DEEEERRPPPPP

Doktor Zymm

LOLRAIDERS

Gratliff

MILES FUCKING SANDERS THE BEST RB IN THE EAST

Redshirt

Joeception!

rockingdog

YES TD catch by Robert Woods!
baby buster gonna SLING IT today

King Hippo

Maybe 2019 was just an OL-based outlier?

LemonJello

I really need to stop drinking and remember to set my DFO FF lineup…

Nah, I’ll keep drinking.

Beerguyrob

Guaranteed reward.

Redshirt

I’m not sure if the Bengals defense is just not good enough to stop the Ravens offense, of if the Ravens offense is just toying with them.

Doktor Zymm

Either way it’s pretty fun to watch

Gatoraids

Primus down

WCS

comment image

Sharkbait

Loving all the Van Halen bumper music this week.

Gatoraids

Hopefully the strip clubs can reopen before someone in Motley Crue dies

King Hippo

/unless you have Edwards-Hellaire

Gratliff

Harf harf gets a gift PI call

WCS

That was HARFtastic.

Gratliff

The Memorial Tom Brady “PI on a ball 5 yards out of bounds” call

Gratliff

Starting to think maybe the Eagles can rush the passer

Doktor Zymm

Or at least a passer with the speed and nimble gait of The Ben

Gratliff

I feel like that’s never really mattered. DEs just don’t bounce off him anymore.

Doktor Zymm

Mark Andrews just did a neato flip

Sharkbait

Kyle Allendown?

King Hippo

I have had “Piano Man” stuck in my head all week. I despise Billy Joel, but particularly “Piano Man.”

/though I admit to liking “Allentown”

Redshirt

Try to get “Baby Grand” stuck in your head. Its a Billy Joel-Ray Charles duet, but you might be able to get Ray Charles stuck in your head instead.

King Hippo

Ray Charles is indeed much better. My brain is just an asshole.

Doktor Zymm

“Girl From Ipanema” isn’t too annoying and has the power to replace any song in the head

Doktor Zymm

I’ve got corn chips with avocado salsa verde, salted egg yolk potato ridges, and kettle corn

Sharkbait

Fried clams, fries and onion rings over here

Gatoraids

Loaded Chicken nachos later

King Hippo

Already had my bowl of jasmine rice, so it’s all caffeine and opiates from hereforth

TheRevanchist

I’m making some steak fries and a mushroom omelette. Later to switch to Ruffles and dip.

Doktor Zymm

Kyle trying to increase his Kyle quotient to become Kyler

Doktor Zymm

Wow, hearing about someone excited to be part of Football Team is really kind of depressing

Gatoraids

Allen’s orthopaedic surgeon is very excited about the opportunity on the football team

bk109

Hey, you’d also be happy to be part of the Football Team and sing praises to Most Glorious Dear Leader with the proper motivation (and proof of life photos)

TheRevanchist

B2B false starts by Former Oakland. Yes!

Spur

comment image

TheRevanchist

Such cute babies.

Redshirt

That was a tackle by the Bengals’ guard. Burrow almost got that first down.

King Hippo

Y’all might have something next season, provided that all draft capital is spent on OL.

Redshirt

Yup. Burrow just needs to survive the year.

We’re gonna lose A.J. Green, though, but he hasn’t been showing much. Either he still have rust or he’s lost a few steps.

bk109

Woohoo, we’ve got fire again… the APCs strike again, mwahahah (translation: FML, that means I’m stuck at work to Wednesday-ish)