Let’s get to it.
TO THE GAMES!
Panthers/Falcons:
Does Atlanta finally get their first W? Carolina is coming off two straight wins and the Falcons have given up 30 or more points every single week to date. Still, Julio might be back and that makes a huge difference to a Panthers D that is slowly, very slowly improving. Not helping matters? Atlanta has played 11 different guys in the secondary after only 4 weeks. It’s pure carnage back there.
Raiders/Chiefs:
Wakey, wakey left coasters! Cb Breeland is back for the Chiefs after a scheduled holiday as a result of taking ‘substances’. Last week Mahomes had his 2nd-worst graded game of his career and still the Pats were easily handled. That’s what a Hoyer-Stidham combo will do for you. His talent aside, Patty benefits from his receivers getting open ‘big’-like an average of 3 yards big.
Cards/Jets:
Le’Veon has been taken off IR but that’s sorta like you rearranging the kitchen appliances that your redneck cousin threw out onto his front lawn. Darnold looks like Josh Allen did last year-even when he gets a clean pocket his throws sail overhead or eat dirt. Needless to say, his ability to throw into tight windows is wanting as well.
Eagles/Steelers:
Many thought that with all kinds of time to get healthy The Ben would regain some former semblance of his younger self. (I thought he’d be a sneaky-good player to draft at the bottom end of drafts-dodged that bullet) His rate of uncatchable passes is 5th worst in the league, according to PFF.
Rams/Team:
Team’s D will likely be turned this way and that by a Rams squadoo that employs play-action on almost 50% of their passes. That’s a usage rate that hasn’t been seen before and Goff and Co. has obviously taken full advantage.
Bengals/Ravens:
Burrow continues to amaze under some dire circumstances-his passing grade of 79.4 ties him for 7th in the league with Mahomes. This despite the fact that he’s been hit/sacked 34 times, most in the league. Today the beatings will continue as the Ravens employ the blitz on 46% of plays.
Jags/Texans:
Who knew the Jags O-line was this good? Despite being saddled with an UDFA in James Robinson, they have maintained the ability to create running lanes. Robinson’s 4.8 ypc to date actually seems sustainable.
Have at it below.
Man, fuck those humorless jerks over at reddit/nfl:
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/j98ukh/curran_the_patriots_organization_players_coaches/g8i3el1/
I upvoted you buddy
At least my Andy Reid fat joke wasn’t downvoted into oblivion.
Thats a funny
That was definitely a tackle attempt of some sort
This LeVeon/Gore backfield would be some hot shit, if only we were still in Obama’s first term.
THIS WASHINGTON TEAM, I CALL THEM FOIA DOCUMENTS BECAUSE THEY WERE AT LEAST MORE INTERESTING WHEN THEY WERE REDACTED!
B***er this.
My wife is working topless, but since it’s because she’s having hot flashes it is not as much fun as you’d think.
Delonte west wants to know your location
Tell her I get those too, must have male menopause which I am sure is just as bad as lady menopause smh
I don’t understand how a post that includes “topless” and “hot” and “flashes” could be so unsexy.
Keep getting older, it’ll all make sense.
Don’t let her attitude interfere with your visual enjoyment.
Baby BUSTER back at it
LOL runs it in for a TD!!!
I know Mike Brown is a cheap SOB but can he please get a team around Joe Burrow to at least not waste the money he already invested in the kid?
“No.”
Mike Brown
Maybe he’s misapplying the Sunk Cost fallacy?
I thought it was weird when they spent money on every position bit o line this summer. Just makes no sense
Bengals aren’t going to score a single point
So, their normal offensive strategy.
I love AJ Green, but someone need to take him behind the woodshed and put him down. He’s done.
You are correct, magical pony.
Look at Carr showing some balls.
Voiceover:
We’ve replaced the Bengals’ Offensive Line with holograms. Let’s see if anyone notices.
Ron Howard: “No one did.”
Claypool was available when I picked up Zaccheaus on waivers this am.
I, too, thought about picking up Claypool, then did not.
Shall I reserve a table for two under the name “Genius, party of two”?
If you’re playing notes that high why not just play a guitar
Eagles running their famous “Gift Package” defense
Much obliged!
Jalen Mills should be holding up a sign like he’s a limo driver at an airport
I enjoy them showing what a dipshit Adam Gase is.
rockingdog, all the fantasy dude commenters refer to Robert Woods as Bobby Trees.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD6qtc2_AQA&ab_channel=JacobM.
I like Bobby Tables.
The movie Palm Springs made me cry in a super manly way last night
I was rewatching ‘You’re The Worst’ last night and stumbled on the line “I love him like the black son I aborted in high school” and I was also crying, but probably for different reasons.
It’s probably kind of a relief that the Raiders don’t have to worry about ticket sales during their first year in Vegas
ARi is proof that visitors will always get you a sellout.
You know your play action is working when you can do an end-around real close to the end zone. JEEZUZ, Tyreek.
Cut shot of KC. Can’t imagine I’d ever think of that place if not for the Chiefs.
Minshew dad needs his space
Bengals DE Carlos Dunlap responds to his benching by trying to kill Ravens QB Lamar Jackson and screwing the Bengals over. That’ll show ’em.
AKA “The Full Berfict”.
*chef’s kiss*
They don’t put him in on many plays, so he’s going to play extra on those plays
How very Bengals of him.
Took 43 minutes before RedZone shows a HOU/JAX play
Well it is called “Redzone”.
Raiders need to run the rock…
Why doesn’t Philly call more 70 yard runs?
Sanders took it to ludicrous speed
Oh shit, I subbed out Singletary for Sanders! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
You know where true loyalties lie when the sound guys for NFL broadcasts play Van Halen into commercials cutaways.
DEEEERRPPPPP
LOLRAIDERS
MILES FUCKING SANDERS THE BEST RB IN THE EAST
BreelandCeption!
Joeception!
YES TD catch by Robert Woods!
baby buster gonna SLING IT today
What a difference between last year and this.
Maybe 2019 was just an OL-based outlier?
I really need to stop drinking and remember to set my DFO FF lineup…
Nah, I’ll keep drinking.
Guaranteed reward.
I’m not sure if the Bengals defense is just not good enough to stop the Ravens offense, of if the Ravens offense is just toying with them.
Either way it’s pretty fun to watch
Primus down
“Running with the Devil” bumper music? I like.
Loving all the Van Halen bumper music this week.
Hopefully the strip clubs can reopen before someone in Motley Crue dies
Chiefs play action is a thing of beauty.
/unless you have Edwards-Hellaire
He’ll cash in sooner or later. Everyone gets a piece of the pie when Patty cooks.
Harf harf gets a gift PI call
That was HARFtastic.
The Memorial Tom Brady “PI on a ball 5 yards out of bounds” call
Starting to think maybe the Eagles can rush the passer
Or at least a passer with the speed and nimble gait of The Ben
I feel like that’s never really mattered. DEs just don’t bounce off him anymore.
Mark Andrews just did a neato flip
Kyle Allendown?
[makes quotation marks with fingers] “Allentown.”
-B. Joel
I have had “Piano Man” stuck in my head all week. I despise Billy Joel, but particularly “Piano Man.”
/though I admit to liking “Allentown”
Try to get “Baby Grand” stuck in your head. Its a Billy Joel-Ray Charles duet, but you might be able to get Ray Charles stuck in your head instead.
Ray Charles is indeed much better. My brain is just an asshole.
“Girl From Ipanema” isn’t too annoying and has the power to replace any song in the head
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFxdBW1Y9_8
The biggest laugh I got from Blues Brothers was that tune playing in the elevator towards the end of the movie. So wtf?
Today’s Snacks Include:
-limited edition Ruffles Flaming Hot BBQ chips with Cheddar
-dry roasted peanuts
-ranch flavoured corn nuts
I’ve got corn chips with avocado salsa verde, salted egg yolk potato ridges, and kettle corn
Fried clams, fries and onion rings over here
Loaded Chicken nachos later
Already had my bowl of jasmine rice, so it’s all caffeine and opiates from hereforth
I’m making some steak fries and a mushroom omelette. Later to switch to Ruffles and dip.
Kyle trying to increase his Kyle quotient to become Kyler
Wow, hearing about someone excited to be part of Football Team is really kind of depressing
Allen’s orthopaedic surgeon is very excited about the opportunity on the football team
Hey, you’d also be happy to be part of the Football Team and sing praises to Most Glorious Dear Leader with the proper motivation (and proof of life photos)
B2B false starts by Former Oakland. Yes!
Such cute babies.
That was a tackle by the Bengals’ guard. Burrow almost got that first down.
Y’all might have something next season, provided that all draft capital is spent on OL.
Yup. Burrow just needs to survive the year.
We’re gonna lose A.J. Green, though, but he hasn’t been showing much. Either he still have rust or he’s lost a few steps.
He’s not getting much separation and Higgins* is the new kid on the block.
*”MAGNUM!
Raider wr pulled the Ruggs right out of cb Fenton.
/I’ll be here all day.
Woohoo, we’ve got fire again… the APCs strike again, mwahahah (translation: FML, that means I’m stuck at work to Wednesday-ish)