Your “Let’s Watch Some Ball!” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

The site’s been slower than Andy Reid reaching for a shot of cold-pressed kale juice but we’re making the best of it. Rest assured there are monkey-type creatures fiddling around inside your laptop or mobile as you read this. And don’t worry, your Mothra-centric insertion videos are just between you, me and the DMV.

TO THE GAMES!

Pats/Bills:

Looks like the league has caught up to Cam and Co. Them Pats have generated all of 28 points these last three weeks and issues at wr (outside of Edelman) and rb have manifested themselves again this year. There’s nary a playmaker on the entire roster and the time sure looks right for Buffalo to end that 7 game losing streak.

Titans/Bengals:

More of the same for Burrow? A little ‘gets thrown on his butt’ here and a little ‘makes a great play’ there. Cincy’s pass-blocking grades out as the worst in the league, save the Vikes. Some reason for hope though is that the Titans D is one of four that allows positive yardage on more than 50% of snaps.

Raiders/Browns:

Cleveland can’t defend the slot worth a damn so feel free to go with Ruggs (39%) or Agholor (31%). Something else that may sway you? Ruggs’ aDOT from the slot is 23.3. Really, just play everyone because the Browns D gives up the 2nd most fantasy points to wr’s.

Colts/Lions:

Is Detroit turning it around? They’re 3-1 in their last four and since Golladay returned they have the league’s most efficient passing game. The Colts D was being talked up here and elsewhere but the teams they shut down were the Jags, Vikes, Jets and the offenseless Bears. The last two weeks they’ve given up 32 and 27 respectively.

Vikes/Pack:

Maybe you don’t have the luxury of sitting Thielen but you should give it some thought because cb Jaire Alexander has given up a total of 54 yards since wk 1. If Minny gets blown out are the winds of head coach change going to blow?

Jets/Chiefs:

Worst vs. Best. Who ya got? I’ve got Mahomes sitting by halfway thru the 3rd with 300 yards and 4 TD’s in his mitts.

Rams/Fins:

Tua, Aaron. Aaron, Tua. May as well set the rookie on fire, uh, put his feet to the fire is what I meant. It’s a bit puzzling that he’s behind center given that Harvard was playing fine and they had won their last two. Fitz had an average of only 2.4 seconds to get rid of the ball due to pass-blocking woes and that number should decrease today.

Steelers/Ravens:

Game O’ Day? These two are the heaviest blitzers in the league so both qb’s should be under a bit of pressure. My money is on the one that doesn’t have mobility issues and it’s well known that there are holes in Pitt’s secondary.

Do your thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Game Time Decision

They are the Canadian version of the Acme Co. from loony tunes.

Redshirt

The wind is creating a wall on all kicked/punted balls towards to the left side of the field. Its actually funny to see. Its like the football suddenly goes “Nope. I’m done. DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!”

Doktor Zymm

I wonder if buffalo mozzarella would be good with buffalo sauce?

ArmedandHammered

Mahomes down.

Sharkbait

I approve. 1 more

King Hippo

I should have started Jakobi Meyers, just because he went to NC State.

Did everyone see that “sleeping giant” U*NC lost to terri-bad Wahoowa last night? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Gatoraids

Got More Suits too

Gatoraids

yah did a quick image search too but not happy with results and just put it out there

King Hippo

Big gap for Davin Cook to drive through

Mother Puncher

Jessie Bates looks like the guy Elaine dates and can’t figure out if he’s black

Mother Puncher

But like, with tattoos and stuff

clint greasewood

You just got Moss’d(Zach that is)

Redshirt

Tannepick.

clint greasewood

Jobs not mobs is a pretty intense commercial for an administration that hasn’t done anything to help the tensions in the US

Sharkbait

Didn’t one of the campaign mouthbreathers say “Work sets you free” the other day?

King Hippo

quiet part out loud, and then some. Gonna be a tense 57-ish hours

Horatio Cornblower

Lewandowski said it. He’s about as smart as you’d expect a former cop to be.

King Hippo

They been in #MaximumNixon mode for some time now.

Doktor Zymm

Even Nixon had a semblance of a conscience…

King Hippo

yeah, better phrased to say is “Nixon at his worst” in effect

Mother Puncher

Commercial: if Biden is president the streets will be filled with mobs and unrest

Viewer: *points outside at streets currently filled with mobs and unrest*

Commercial: yea, just like those.

Recovery Whiskey

The Trump Train’s last request: be scared of everyone who is not white and rural

Petronel

Lamar’d

King Hippo

I originally had Mecole Hardman on both squadrons. In my injury/bye situations, I considered picking him back up this week (in both), but went with Agholor, Tre’Quan, and Higgins instead.

NO. FUCKING. SMIRE.

Horatio Cornblower

I picked up an Eagles receiver instead of Hardman, on the theory that the Cowboys aren’t even going to try.

I stand by that decision.

Mr. Ayo

Tuarnover!

ArmedandHammered

I wonder if Fitzmagic will be on the field by halftime.

Redshirt

No. Fins in choke mode.

Redshirt

Good: Bengals Offense scored a field goal.
Bad: Bengals Defense can’t stop a leaf blowing in the wind.

Doktor Zymm

Those wind-leafs can be awfully shifty

King Hippo

Can nae remember if I had #SecondPill. Better safe than sorry, eh?

/pill bottle flies open

Sharkbait

That’s 1 Mahomesdown. Need 2 more

ArmedandHammered

Against the Jets, he may reach double digits today.

Sharkbait

Took the over on 2.5 TD passes

Doktor Zymm

Aw man, I kinda love the MD flag print masks some of the Ravens personnel have. I’ve so far resisted, despite the availability of such gems as this. comment image?v=1594179482

ArmedandHammered

This Okwara I call Coffer dam as Rivers is going nowhere.

Doktor Zymm

Yahoo can go fuck itself with a rusty pitchfork. Second week in a row they didn’t notify me that Aaron Jones was out, and they won’t let me sub anyone else in despite kickoff not happening yet.

Redshirt

The Steelers-Ravens game is perfect for the 2020 US Presidential Elections, the choice in leaders is either a mentally deficient person no one would trust alone with their daughter or mother or a flashy, popular person who no one is 100% certain can deliver a win when a championship is on the line.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I wouldn’t describe Joe Biden as flashy

Doktor Zymm

The Onion version of Diamond Joe is

King Hippo

abso-fucking-lutely!!!

/also vaguely similar to my Yinzer Uncle Dan

Redshirt

Cincy’s pass-blocking grades out as the worst in the league, save the Vikes.”

Good news! Four of their starters are hurt and they are starting backups and practice squad players.

I’m gonna miss Joe Burrow. He seemed like a nice kid.

Redshirt

Once again, Bengals, if you start wearing your white color rush jersey as your away jerseys and burn your current away jersey, no questions will be asked.

Sharkbait

In today’s performance of “American History X”, the role of Edward Norton’s TV Thief will be played by the New York Jets

Redshirt

(sees all three Open Threads posted)

“How many hours did I fall back?!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I already forgot about daylight savings time and was confused why I wasn’t as tired as I thought I should be

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Higgins gonna go off

YMMV

clint greasewood

Liverpool back on top.

King Hippo

EVERYTHING IS SHIT.

/except this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-C2TMIatOk

clint greasewood

Love The Kills

rockingdog

found a funny:

date: what do u do

me: i race horses

date: have u been successful

me: no they are much faster

King Hippo

I look forward to forgetting about Everton, politics, and the outside world, with SEVEN HOURS of Glorious RedZone.

King Hippo
bk109

Oh, shit… we’re playing DaBills AND ManUre today?! Fuck this shit, I’m going in the Chieftain to play some Wargame:EE

bk109

Update: The Chieftain is decidedly moar comfy than the T-72, but I have certain misgivings about it, ’cause I still get a semi-decent WiFi signal in it unlike the russian bugger.

ArmedandHammered

If you like early South Park, Trey and Matt have a new show called Sassy Justice, which has had me dying laughing this morning.

yeah right

I will be making a beef stew today. Closer to a French “daube.” Heavy on wine, mushrooms, potatoes and chuck roast. Side of sourdough bread and a glass of “Substance” cabernet sauvignon.

Perfect for an early sunset. It is fall after all.

Horatio Cornblower

I will also be making a beef stew today, only substitute beer for wine, potato chips for the mushrooms and potatoes, and hamburgers for the chuck roast.

Sharkbait

I clearly missed the Stew memo today. Pan seared salmon, wild rice and mushrooms is on tap for later

blaxabbath

“Daube?”

– Cam Newton, looking for a new TD celebration even though he’ll never score another touchdown.

bk109

Sounds nice, I just finished making some stuffed crust meat feast pizza, with some “russian” salad (in quotes, ’cause what we call russian/olivier salad in Europe has fuck all to do with what THEY call Russian/Olivier salad 😀 )

Dunstan

I’ve got leftover stew of chicken thighs, potatoes, carrots, butternut squash, and parsnips. Generous doses of coriander seed, Colman’s mustard, harissa, and white wine.

Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna do a brie and pear tart, cause I have brie and pears and frozen puff pastry. Gonna toss in some cardamom and cinnamon methinks

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Thank God for the extra hour. We’re headed back into the gaping maw of another day working the polls, where if current trends hold we may average as many as three voters per hour!

yeah right

Keep up the good work!

blaxabbath

This is why I’m just welcoming fascism.

bk109

Voting sucks… unless you change the polls in my favour, in which case I promise you the lofty cabinet position of chief cheerleader inspector 😉

ArmedandHammered

Could I be the Chief Inspector of Supermodel Bra Fitting?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean, if you want. I guess. The thing is, we already had to penned in as the Secretary of Partying Down.

King Hippo

Secretary of Heroine FOAR Hippo!

bk109

As long as you deliver the electoral college votes, why not? Provide the goods and I can even throw in a Reaper drone strike on your nemesis from High School for free!

ArmedandHammered

Let them live, they all live lives that make Al Bundy’s look like utopia.

Horatio Cornblower

Make sure you ask who they intend to vote for, and if they say Trump, tell them that they are scheduled for the privileged expedited supercalifagilisticexpealidocious line that starts on 11/4.

King Hippo
Sharkbait

Mahomes over 2.5 passing TDs, Aiyuk to score, and Henry over 100 yards. PRAISE GAMBLOR!

King Hippo

REALLY needed that Molde FK goooooooolllllll that just went in. HAIL!!!

rockingdog

PRAISE BE!!!
please let Aiyuk get like 105 yards + 2 TD’s
revenge game for the 49ers vs hawks

Last edited 4 years ago by rockingdog
King Hippo

y’all may gets Hippo Thoughts around 8:30p, then

/am boycotting this week’s SNF and MNF “games”

litre_cola

Ummm the High Flying Eagles vs an Italian Stallion and you are going to pass?

King Hippo

I hate Lesser Footy.

King Hippo
litre_cola

Just like Litre!

King Hippo

it’s a Bradley thang, u wouldn’t understand smh

litre_cola

Rev would!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw, 2 qb league is such that with burrow and wentz both on bye next week I picked up mike fucking glennon

King Hippo

hide your eucalyptus leaves y’all

blaxabbath

Josh Freeman unavailable?

Horatio Cornblower

Ben DiNucci is right there!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My opponent is starting him

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Am I nuts to start Packers defense over Bears defense today?

King Hippo

not at all, BDN is both immobile and turnover prone

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pack playing Captain Kurt Cousins

King Hippo

oops, misread question. Rotowire has your options ranked 8th and 9th, so I’d stick with your gut. Plus, you know how Bearistocrats! roll.

rockingdog
montythisseemsstrangetome

Good morning. The site loaded for me today. This is news.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Happy belated halloween! I recommend going back and reading some weekend masterpieces. Yeahright and blax especially crushed it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly’s intro was really good too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t believe he really went there with the Seau thing. He’s so edgy!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lol

litre_cola

Hippo are you sponsored by a Kazoo making company?

King Hippo

It’s apparently some kind of car buying service? Dunno if they also has a car fox.

litre_cola

Uggh, have to play something called Harrison Bryant for #thepauls. Feast or famine I guess.

King Hippo

Lesser Footy coloUrful phrasing of the day (this appears at least once every match Sigurdsson plays in) – touch of a rapist.

litre_cola

Oh the Toffees play soon and are banged up. Engage Hippo pillz.

King Hippo

25 Ameri-quid have been wagered on nil-nil (9-to-1 odds)

King Hippo

and YES, I did just #PillUp

King Hippo

I am starting Agohlor’s corpse against Scotchy in money league, so this was some excellent reverse jinx mojo. Well played, Mr. Hobo Disposal.

litre_cola

I have rarely gotten anyone on waivers (I don’t understand it) and am pushing on through.

King Hippo

1-0 against me, tho

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