The site’s been slower than Andy Reid reaching for a shot of cold-pressed kale juice but we’re making the best of it. Rest assured there are monkey-type creatures fiddling around inside your laptop or mobile as you read this. And don’t worry, your Mothra-centric insertion videos are just between you, me and the DMV.
TO THE GAMES!
Pats/Bills:
Looks like the league has caught up to Cam and Co. Them Pats have generated all of 28 points these last three weeks and issues at wr (outside of Edelman) and rb have manifested themselves again this year. There’s nary a playmaker on the entire roster and the time sure looks right for Buffalo to end that 7 game losing streak.
Titans/Bengals:
More of the same for Burrow? A little ‘gets thrown on his butt’ here and a little ‘makes a great play’ there. Cincy’s pass-blocking grades out as the worst in the league, save the Vikes. Some reason for hope though is that the Titans D is one of four that allows positive yardage on more than 50% of snaps.
Raiders/Browns:
Cleveland can’t defend the slot worth a damn so feel free to go with Ruggs (39%) or Agholor (31%). Something else that may sway you? Ruggs’ aDOT from the slot is 23.3. Really, just play everyone because the Browns D gives up the 2nd most fantasy points to wr’s.
Colts/Lions:
Is Detroit turning it around? They’re 3-1 in their last four and since Golladay returned they have the league’s most efficient passing game. The Colts D was being talked up here and elsewhere but the teams they shut down were the Jags, Vikes, Jets and the offenseless Bears. The last two weeks they’ve given up 32 and 27 respectively.
Vikes/Pack:
Maybe you don’t have the luxury of sitting Thielen but you should give it some thought because cb Jaire Alexander has given up a total of 54 yards since wk 1. If Minny gets blown out are the winds of head coach change going to blow?
Jets/Chiefs:
Worst vs. Best. Who ya got? I’ve got Mahomes sitting by halfway thru the 3rd with 300 yards and 4 TD’s in his mitts.
Rams/Fins:
Tua, Aaron. Aaron, Tua. May as well set the rookie on fire, uh, put his feet to the fire is what I meant. It’s a bit puzzling that he’s behind center given that Harvard was playing fine and they had won their last two. Fitz had an average of only 2.4 seconds to get rid of the ball due to pass-blocking woes and that number should decrease today.
Steelers/Ravens:
Game O’ Day? These two are the heaviest blitzers in the league so both qb’s should be under a bit of pressure. My money is on the one that doesn’t have mobility issues and it’s well known that there are holes in Pitt’s secondary.
Do your thing.
I bought some Thanksgiving stuffing potato chips at Canadian Tire because this is the year of living dangerously.
They are the Canadian version of the Acme Co. from loony tunes.
The wind is creating a wall on all kicked/punted balls towards to the left side of the field. Its actually funny to see. Its like the football suddenly goes “Nope. I’m done. DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!”
I wonder if buffalo mozzarella would be good with buffalo sauce?
I’d yak.
Mahomes down.
I approve. 1 more
I should have started Jakobi Meyers, just because he went to NC State.
Did everyone see that “sleeping giant” U*NC lost to terri-bad Wahoowa last night? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Got More Suits too
If you’re referencing the Beastie Boys you’re getting a 1
yah did a quick image search too but not happy with results and just put it out there
Big gap for Davin Cook to drive through
Jessie Bates looks like the guy Elaine dates and can’t figure out if he’s black
But like, with tattoos and stuff
Steelers wr should get flagged for wearing a frickin’ fanny pack.
You just got Moss’d(Zach that is)
You can run on the Pats. Easily.
Tannepick.
Jobs not mobs is a pretty intense commercial for an administration that hasn’t done anything to help the tensions in the US
Didn’t one of the campaign mouthbreathers say “Work sets you free” the other day?
quiet part out loud, and then some. Gonna be a tense 57-ish hours
Lewandowski said it. He’s about as smart as you’d expect a former cop to be.
They been in #MaximumNixon mode for some time now.
Even Nixon had a semblance of a conscience…
yeah, better phrased to say is “Nixon at his worst” in effect
Commercial: if Biden is president the streets will be filled with mobs and unrest
Viewer: *points outside at streets currently filled with mobs and unrest*
Commercial: yea, just like those.
The Trump Train’s last request: be scared of everyone who is not white and rural
Lamar’d
Tee Higgins off to a good start.
I originally had Mecole Hardman on both squadrons. In my injury/bye situations, I considered picking him back up this week (in both), but went with Agholor, Tre’Quan, and Higgins instead.
NO. FUCKING. SMIRE.
I picked up an Eagles receiver instead of Hardman, on the theory that the Cowboys aren’t even going to try.
I stand by that decision.
Tuarnover!
I wonder if Fitzmagic will be on the field by halftime.
No. Fins in choke mode.
Good: Bengals Offense scored a field goal.
Bad: Bengals Defense can’t stop a leaf blowing in the wind.
Those wind-leafs can be awfully shifty
Can nae remember if I had #SecondPill. Better safe than sorry, eh?
/pill bottle flies open
That’s 1 Mahomesdown. Need 2 more
Against the Jets, he may reach double digits today.
Passes or just a total?
Took the over on 2.5 TD passes
Pitt’s D on the board awful quick
Aw man, I kinda love the MD flag print masks some of the Ravens personnel have. I’ve so far resisted, despite the availability of such gems as this. ?v=1594179482
This Okwara I call Coffer dam as Rivers is going nowhere.
Yahoo can go fuck itself with a rusty pitchfork. Second week in a row they didn’t notify me that Aaron Jones was out, and they won’t let me sub anyone else in despite kickoff not happening yet.
The Steelers-Ravens game is perfect for the 2020 US Presidential Elections, the choice in leaders is either a mentally deficient person no one would trust alone with their daughter or mother or a flashy, popular person who no one is 100% certain can deliver a win when a championship is on the line.
I wouldn’t describe Joe Biden as flashy
The Onion version of Diamond Joe is
abso-fucking-lutely!!!
/also vaguely similar to my Yinzer Uncle Dan
“Cincy’s pass-blocking grades out as the worst in the league, save the Vikes.”
Good news! Four of their starters are hurt and they are starting backups and practice squad players.
I’m gonna miss Joe Burrow. He seemed like a nice kid.
Once again, Bengals, if you start wearing your white color rush jersey as your away jerseys and burn your current away jersey, no questions will be asked.
In today’s performance of “American History X”, the role of Edward Norton’s TV Thief will be played by the New York Jets
(sees all three Open Threads posted)
“How many hours did I fall back?!”
I already forgot about daylight savings time and was confused why I wasn’t as tired as I thought I should be
Do I dare take a chance on Carson? Otherwise I have to go with Higgins (Clev.) or Marvin Jones. That’s a long way down.
Higgins gonna go off
YMMV
Liverpool back on top.
EVERYTHING IS SHIT.
/except this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-C2TMIatOk
Love The Kills
found a funny:
date: what do u do
me: i race horses
date: have u been successful
me: no they are much faster
I look forward to forgetting about Everton, politics, and the outside world, with SEVEN HOURS of Glorious RedZone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwpnuaBoKPU
Oh, shit… we’re playing DaBills AND ManUre today?! Fuck this shit, I’m going in the Chieftain to play some Wargame:EE
Update: The Chieftain is decidedly moar comfy than the T-72, but I have certain misgivings about it, ’cause I still get a semi-decent WiFi signal in it unlike the russian bugger.
If you like early South Park, Trey and Matt have a new show called Sassy Justice, which has had me dying laughing this morning.
I will be making a beef stew today. Closer to a French “daube.” Heavy on wine, mushrooms, potatoes and chuck roast. Side of sourdough bread and a glass of “Substance” cabernet sauvignon.
Perfect for an early sunset. It is fall after all.
I will also be making a beef stew today, only substitute beer for wine, potato chips for the mushrooms and potatoes, and hamburgers for the chuck roast.
I clearly missed the Stew memo today. Pan seared salmon, wild rice and mushrooms is on tap for later
“Daube?”
– Cam Newton, looking for a new TD celebration even though he’ll never score another touchdown.
Sounds nice, I just finished making some stuffed crust meat feast pizza, with some “russian” salad (in quotes, ’cause what we call russian/olivier salad in Europe has fuck all to do with what THEY call Russian/Olivier salad 😀 )
I’ve got leftover stew of chicken thighs, potatoes, carrots, butternut squash, and parsnips. Generous doses of coriander seed, Colman’s mustard, harissa, and white wine.
I’m gonna do a brie and pear tart, cause I have brie and pears and frozen puff pastry. Gonna toss in some cardamom and cinnamon methinks
Thank God for the extra hour. We’re headed back into the gaping maw of another day working the polls, where if current trends hold we may average as many as three voters per hour!
Keep up the good work!
This is why I’m just welcoming fascism.
Voting sucks… unless you change the polls in my favour, in which case I promise you the lofty cabinet position of chief cheerleader inspector 😉
Could I be the Chief Inspector of Supermodel Bra Fitting?
I mean, if you want. I guess. The thing is, we already had to penned in as the Secretary of Partying Down.
Secretary of Heroine FOAR Hippo!
As long as you deliver the electoral college votes, why not? Provide the goods and I can even throw in a Reaper drone strike on your nemesis from High School for free!
Let them live, they all live lives that make Al Bundy’s look like utopia.
Make sure you ask who they intend to vote for, and if they say Trump, tell them that they are scheduled for the privileged expedited supercalifagilisticexpealidocious line that starts on 11/4.
This is some badass shit!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sff7Kc77QAY
Mahomes over 2.5 passing TDs, Aiyuk to score, and Henry over 100 yards. PRAISE GAMBLOR!
REALLY needed that Molde FK goooooooolllllll that just went in. HAIL!!!
PRAISE BE!!!
please let Aiyuk get like 105 yards + 2 TD’s
revenge game for the 49ers vs hawks
“Time to publish” function ain’t working so the late slate thread is up.
y’all may gets Hippo Thoughts around 8:30p, then
/am boycotting this week’s SNF and MNF “games”
Ummm the High Flying Eagles vs an Italian Stallion and you are going to pass?
I hate Lesser Footy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vLiJIgVlRQ
Just like Litre!
it’s a Bradley thang, u wouldn’t understand smh
Rev would!
Btw, 2 qb league is such that with burrow and wentz both on bye next week I picked up mike fucking glennon
hide your eucalyptus leaves y’all
This held up real well:
https://www.patriots.com/video/is-mike-glennon-the-best-qb-in-the-nfl-draft-76101
Josh Freeman unavailable?
Ben DiNucci is right there!
My opponent is starting him
Am I nuts to start Packers defense over Bears defense today?
not at all, BDN is both immobile and turnover prone
Pack playing Captain Kurt Cousins
oops, misread question. Rotowire has your options ranked 8th and 9th, so I’d stick with your gut. Plus, you know how Bearistocrats! roll.
LOL
its a dick joke…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHmrq4wG85M
Good morning. The site loaded for me today. This is news.
Happy belated halloween! I recommend going back and reading some weekend masterpieces. Yeahright and blax especially crushed it.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly’s intro was really good too.
I can’t believe he really went there with the Seau thing. He’s so edgy!
Lol
Hippo are you sponsored by a Kazoo making company?
Is that what that sound is?
It’s apparently some kind of car buying service? Dunno if they also has a car fox.
Uggh, have to play something called Harrison Bryant for #thepauls. Feast or famine I guess.
Lesser Footy coloUrful phrasing of the day (this appears at least once every match Sigurdsson plays in) – touch of a rapist.
Oh the Toffees play soon and are banged up. Engage Hippo pillz.
25 Ameri-quid have been wagered on nil-nil (9-to-1 odds)
and YES, I did just #PillUp
I am starting Agohlor’s corpse against Scotchy in money league, so this was some excellent reverse jinx mojo. Well played, Mr. Hobo Disposal.
I stink so bad in that league. Getting whupped every week.
I have rarely gotten anyone on waivers (I don’t understand it) and am pushing on through.
1-0 against me, tho