TO THE GAMES!
Broncos/Raiders:
Nobody seems to be talking about how efficient Derek Carr is this season. The Raiders O has been helped immensely by his 16/2 TD/INT ratio. That man takes good Carr of the ball, amirite? Guh, bad pun is bad. Denver has struggled through the 5th hardest sked with a 2nd year qb that is learning the ropes and it’s not going to get any better the rest of the way. They have the Fins, Saints, Chiefs and Bills to look not forward to. Oh my.
Chargers/Fins:
Qb Herbert doesn’t fool around-he’s already 10th in the league in attempted long balls despite not starting the year on the field. After his dismal debut Tua turned it around last week. Yes it’s a small sample but he came out of the game with an 8.9 yards per attempt number and created 3 first downs with his wheels. With the way the D is playing the Fins look like a solid wild card playoff team that might be able to steal a game in the first round. All Hail Brian Flores!
Bills/Cards:
Oh, I like this game. The over/under is 56 last I checked-beware of flying balls and rambling qb’s! Murray’s completion rate to Hopkins in a clean pocket and 15+ yards downfield? An astounding 82%! Wow. What’s happened to Drake? He’s been absolutely abandoned in the passing game, having only 7 catches so far on 127(!) routes run. He was projected as a 3 down back. Meanwhile Edmonds is tracking towards 60 grabs this year. Why do teams sour on Drake?
Seahawks/Rams:
D.K. Metcalf is everything N’Keal Harry was supposed to be. Swing and a big miss, Belichick. The former’s 372 yards on deep balls is 50 ahead of the 2nd place wr. As Hippo noted with Goff’s renewed improved play, the O-line that last year placed 28th in pressure allowed is the very best in keeping Jared’s uni clean.
Niners/Saints:
New Orleans provided a glimpse of what their D is capable of when it hit on every cylinder but issues remain. They’ve allowed more 40+ pass plays than any other team and their pass interference penalties(7) 20 yards or more downfield are the most in the league. You may want to sit te Cook down for this one-San Franny has locked down pass-catching te’s and he’s also been averaging 25 yards and 2.7 grabs over the last 3 games.
Bengals/Steelers:
The NFL’s best pass rush should have Burrow wishing he was trodding up a perilous mountain pass with a load of provisions on his back. Perhaps Cincy should play their 4th string qb, the Steelers seem to have problems defending against that type of player. I’m playing Tee Higgins vs this vaunted D because they’ve given up 150+ yards to two separate wr’s and have allowed 11 different players at that position to score a 6 spot.
Start with the jibber jabber.
Scrappydown
Troy just admitted he’s an alien!
time for Taysom Hill to steal a TD.
That’s not very Mormon of him.
Where is Joliet Jake?
She doesn’t want to move to Vegas
Is it really okay to say someone with a severe knee injury is a ‘standup’ guy?
Why am I watching this Rams-Seahawks game? It’d be a better use of my time to go to inglewood and throw fish.
Is Raider Crater still there?
The “Raider Crater” is a quarry out in Irwindale, near Santa Anita horse track, east of Los Angeles. Inglewood is on the west side near the beach and the former Hollywood Park horse track. LAX airport is near Inglewood; Ontario (California) airport is near Irwindale.
Its all California to me; thanks for detailing that out
Oh golf jokes
Fun
My fire stick is clearly on a lag.
The Amazon thingy too.
Been a bad year for knees
Worse one for lungs, but yeah.
GRISLY INJURY!
Looks like Saints waking up.
Except for the one guy who hasn’t gotten up yet
Guess I jinxed them with my comment.
How lucrative is it to be a little person or an old fat white guy with a beard during the holidays?
“Umm, we can still listen in on you anytime we want.”
-The Verizon Half-Time Report
What the fuck? the Raiders have a winning record halfway through the season?
/back to Footy Manager
I cursed the Broncos by starting Drew Lock on my fantasy team.
Goddamnit Fant
Rams and Seahawks having a good old-fashioned turnover fight.
Andy Reid has entered the chat
Andy Reid has exited the chat and entered the Buffet.
Andy Reid has exited the Buffet, followed by a staff member pleading with him to not remove the steam trays.
/Andy Reid drools uncontrollably
Looking good, Brick!
It looks like Crazylegs.
(I meant to respond to the comment below)
Is that Fears or Crazylegs
3rd and 11 – RB SWING PASS GO
Mr. Brown touches down!
Mr. Black comes back!
Oh, wait, no, that was Mr. Brown too.
Your Seuss game is strong!
[narrows eyebrows]
-Eli Manning
Tarantino, too.
In the 1st quarter too early to turn off a Bengals game?
No
I feel like the Raiders are good enough to beat good teams when they play their game but I’m not sure they are good enough to really be able to force other teams to play their game.
[jots down idea for Game Night in the That’s My Raiders! household]
Announcer 1: “Kyler was undefeated in high school!”
Announcer 2: “That has nothing to do with this game.”
Announcer 1: “But, talking point?”
He’s a winner!
Shit didnt realize that RB Drake got the start
now da dude gonna steal carries from Chase Edmounds
Buy a Ford vehicle or else the terrorists win.
I’m 2300 miles into my second F-150. I’ve been pretty happy with the vehicle. The rest of their line up, from the mustang to the new Bronco, well — let’s just say I wish we could still use gay as an insult.
I love my Escape. This is the second one I’ve had, the first one I had for 12 years, well over 100k miles. Never replaced anything but batteries and tires.
I, for one, welcome our new Bronco overlords.
I’m 375,000 miles into my ’96 Explorer. Still purrs like a kitten, black (mandatory) exterior and leather interior still look like it just left the factory. I might buy a new radio.
Our defense is so bad
found a funny:
[Wheel] _’D L_K_ TO SOL__ TH_ P_ZZL_
I’d like to solve the puzzle, Pat
Go ahead
I’d like to solve the puzzle
Yes, go ahead
No, I’d like to..
Its total 2020 that Alex Trebek died but Pat Sajak lives.
I drank a beer with Pat Sajak many years ago in Culver City. He’s a nice, pretty normal guy. Sure, he stuck his finger up my ass, but he had a good manicure and was polite about it.
Is that sheep an independent contractor or an employee?
I’m pretty sure this was entirely the cat’s idea.
“One of mah favorite quotes in from Peyton Manning. He said, “balls on the face, hope you like the taste. That’s why I became a chef.”
I’d like to see Biden and the dems start lending attention to one 3rd party — the libertarians (the largest 3rd party in the nation).
Libertarians are Republicans who smoke weed.
Libertarians: “all taxes are bad but don’t cut my government subsidies”
The libertarians who think the GOP doesn’t cut taxes enough and vote against operating millages for fire departments and shit?
There is a faction of the LP that vibes well with Progressives. Unfortunately there’s also the Mises Caucus
I’d like to see the Dems start seriously thinking about splitting the party (amicably) into Progressives and Moderates. Moderates can pick up the sane Republicans and rule the suburbs, progressives get the cities, and the two can grind the GOP down until it’s nothing more than a rural fringe party.
Nah, the GOP would run with that. Give credence to the largest third party and, what do you know, it just happens to be conservative. Let it split apart the Republicans first, then worry about fractioning civilized America amicably.
Doesnt work under our winner take all / first past the post system. We’d need either Ranked Choice Voting or Parliamentary government (like UK and almost every democracy other than the US has)
We’ll get there. I think this is the opportunity to start the process. Acknowledge we are heading towards multiple parties (which is even dumb people will like because they hate everything) and then let the inspired libertarians and the NEW TRUMP PARTY cultists split apart the GOP block.
I mean, these are stupid people we are talking about here. They know how to coalesce around one strong person — they will never unify under one person if they think they have a second viable choice.
We should have ranked choice for everything. Parlimentary I can take or leave, but ranked choice is essential.
What they really need is a black ops troll farm that uses disinformation to put doubt in republicans. Conservatives have already proven to be susceptible to fake news, Just get a big tit blond as the spokesperson for it.
Well, they just had one as president
Hey! Foreign-owned Fox News cares more about America than anyone else!
Nothing makes me want to boycott McDonalds like them bragging that they give money to farmers.
Every business that pays taxes gives money to farmers
Direct payments.
Yeah, which is pointless and redundant. I wish I got huge government subsidies for not doing my one job.
Well that’s cuz you’re a socialist. Which is kind of funny considering how competent you are but, hey, them’s the facts!
I’ve always found it hilarious that the military is the most socialist institution in the US, with logging, mining and farming all having large socialist elements in the way the industry is run, yet those are all the people calling me a socialist because I want a say in how my tax money is spent
You’ll take your military flyovers and forever wars and be happy with it
The military is Animal Farm* in action…All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
*source: 20 years as a Marine
Andy Reid is furious about the prospect of farmers who are being paid to not produce food.
I appreciate this desperate attempt to steer politics back to football.
RTD can make anything an Andy Reid joke.
Biden counties had 70% of the USA’s GDP; Trump counties 29%
Source was newsweek. On phone or would link.
Who gives a fuck?
Farmers are not uniformly for one party. They got $22 billion subsidies in 2019 on a GDP of $21.43 trillion, and that could go as high as $40 billion this year.
You can make a somewhat reasonable argument that some level of farm subsidies are necessary since ensuring a food supply can be seen as a matter of national defense, but these subsidies were mostly to cover for the impact of the poorly thought out China trade war.
I live in the country. Farmers today are fucking rich, not 19th century podunks. Thanks mcdonalds
Lets all boycott McDonald — Seattle offense
Seahawks defense showed up again
Chili has been chilling for almost 6 hours now. I’ll get back to you. Eventually…
Wishes for smell o vision
Hardcore History is a good podcast
Agreed. Their deep dive into Christy Canyon bombing the Ho Chi Mihn Trail? Absolute perfection!
For the 2004 election, I was about six months deep in my Afghanistan tour. As the, I think, second-to-lowest ranking person in our deployed unit (I was an E-3 or E-4, not sure), I was fortunate to be on a team with an NCO who was stop-lossed and did not give two shits about what I was generally up to. It was no secret that I did not like Bush and would not be voting for the moron who had us over there accomplishing nothing with absolutely no plans or even respectable intelligence concerns. Anyways, absentee ballots arrive and mine isn’t in there. My NCO inquires and, as expected, everyone in the office says they are sure they put everyone down to get a ballot and so someone somewhere else must have just accidently not put me down to get one. Didn’t matter but, anyways, on our return to the states, one of my other team members was talking with one of the pogues who all-but-said that I didn’t get my ballot because everyone knew I wouldn’t vote W.
So I was actively in a deployment and my own unit — who should have taken care of me by virtue of, you know, taking care of your troops — prevented me from voting in a state that was going to go to W overwhelming anyways. I don’t point this out because I feel victimized or anything but I think it’s important to understand how small all these people are and, when the rubber meets the road, they’ll be party over ANYTHING — country, honor, or truth.
This is why I am all for bringing out the nooses now and let future generations debate whether or not we needed to necessarily string up literally every single person in Mitch McConnell’s orbit.
example number 6373 of why I never wanted to enlist. Thanks for going for it.
That’s fucked, I think I only know one person who served that doesn’t have really messed up stories about their time in.
When we were stationed in Scotland, Gumby was on a submarine tender. They gave everyone their absentee ballots and told them to go fill them out on the mess decks. There were officers and chiefs walking around behind them trying to tell people how to vote. Gumby was like, fuck that, and took his home and put it in a package he sent home to his parents. He didn’t even trust them to put it in the mail bags.
DUUUUURRRRRRR WE HONOR EVERY MAN AND WOMAN WHO PUTS ON THE UNIFORM DURRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
*as long as it’s a police uniform
ALL UNIONS SUCK EXCEPT POLICE UNIONS THAT COVER FOR MURDERERS!!!
I did my absentee from the middle of the North Arabian Sea in 1984 with no problem, but that was early in the Republican fuckovery of this country.
Blax, I guess at least they didn’t Pat Tillman you.
They’re too incompetent to pull that off.
Nice run by some guy.
BASS DOINK!
*Seinfeld theme song plays*
Goddamn, the Dilbert Guy ended up such a fucking moron
It seems for newspaper comic writers its either they are extreme left or batshit crazy right wing, regardless they have a shit ton of bump stickers on their cars.
Mad as a hatter
More like Million M’Lady March, amirite?
Since the Saints where crowned best in the NFC last week, I expect them to shit the bed this week.
Accurate so far (1st quarter).
Jamal Adams out already. This is fine.
Everything is perfect here in Southern California. Not only do I have a mountain of cocaine on the table in front of me and two big-titted prostitutes sitting next to me, I’ve also got the Rams on one TV and the Chargers on another TV, and figure skating on the third TV, where I was expecting to watch golf.
While I don’t necessarily like golf, I do respect how early you have to wake up to watch it
thats some good Pandemic livin’
Oh hey the Bengals are playimg
Come on Baby Buster
Gooooff and throw for like 350 with 3 TD’s
bowow wow!! u can do it
At this point, why not just lean into herd immunity?
As is, America is playing a prevent defense with 7:55 left in the first quarter.
Not enough peeps have had the Rona yet for this. Hospitals will be moar overrun which will cause moar deaths. Maskup, stay away from others and wait for the vaccine
That’s it — people won’t do what you [correctly] said. So why not get it over with?
Sure but if you haven’t been a good kid and stayed safe, you don’t get health care. Aka Darwinism
We’re like 1/10 of the way to the number of people needed for it. Also, people can catch it a second time, although it seems like it’s less hazardous the second time around. You’d be adding 500k-1m to the body count by the end of it. Also, it will make everything even worse than it already is. Schools are already being forced to close due to staff shortage (mostly teachers and bus drivers) and they’re almost out of them in Michigan. Hospitals in michigan are starting to cancel elective procedures again, which means they’re going to start rapidly dropping income. Meanwhile, they’re already stretched impossibly thing personnel-wise. The hospital the gf works at is offering bonus pay on top of OT to anyone willing to pick up shifts because nurses are going out left and right. People are still getting sick and dying of everything else while this is still going on, so shit is about to get real fucking dire with the hospital systems getting overrun as the worst time of the year in normal circumstances comes about.
Out of substitute teachers, I meant. What few schools here are still in-person are having to get real creative about how to get warm bodies in teacher positions
I’m a teacher who has been in a full classroom since October. Taking tomorrow off because my wife has symptoms and we couldn’t get her in to be tested. We had 8 teachers out Friday, I’m sure that number will be higher tomorrow. We have 4 subs per building. It’s a disaster already.
Damn, hope both of you manage to avoid it
I think I had it back in March. The fever sucked, but I’m young and sexy so I turned out alright and sexier
We had Jackson public schools go remote when they ran out of bus drivers, and then Midland schools when something like 200 teachers were quarantined. Everything was supposed to shut down again when the positivity rate here hit 5%, but that happened right around when Whitmer lost emergency powers, so nothing happened. Every day last week was over 10%. It was ~14% on Friday, and we’re finding ourselves stripped of choice, which they should have known was coming. We’re losing chunks of our organization for weeks at a time (my whole department just returned Thursday), and we expect them to go full remote for all staff by the end of this week. There are a few charter schools in the area that are trying to resist doing what they should as much as possible, but they’re all running out of teachers too. They have administrators teaching and shit now. It’s just delaying the inevitable.
Exactly. Why delay any longer? This school year is a loss. Why lose any more than we need to?
Our Supernintendo caved to public pressure. It’s a conservative low-income area. If we aren’t in the building then in their minds we aren’t working, so no chance of passing any future levies
Just use the star and everything will be okay
Yuuuuuuuuuup. We ran into that too. It’s why an IT dept was required to be fully staffed every day even though we have probably the least need to be in-person of any dept, and now we’ve had two positives, and the district has gone weeks at a time without an IT department.
Herd immunity has never been achieved without a vaccine
America First!
— D. Trump
Because no one in power can be honest about anything, but the plan was always for herd immunity. Boris Johnson accidentally said this out loud and nearly got strung up by his own party. That’s to say that somehow the UK is deservedly led by someone even dumber than Trump.
The Seahawks/Rams game is either going to:
– feature a combined 1000 yards of passing with 15 TDs
– inexplicably both teams only run the ball with the final score 24-21 of all FGs
Either way, I’m not going to be sober nor happy by the end of the game.
Is there anything that tempura doesn’t make delicious?
Thin Mints.
Fins up 7!
BROKEBACK RECEIVING TOUCHED DOWN
Short of the Eagles magically remembering how to football, I don’t see them winning a single game of their next 5. So the question becomes can you win a division with 5 wins?
The problem with winning a garbage fire division is your schedule eventually throws you in a wood chipper.
Big 2005 vibes from that Seattle timeslot
Fun fact: Seattle didn’t even have 200 yards of offense in that game.
They might catch one of these teams suffering from the ‘rona.
Else, yeah, they better hope for a QB injury for any of those teams.
Great choice by the network to put on this Chargers-Dolphins game which the Dolphins lead 7-0 after running a single offensive play. Should be very entertaining.
LA sports!
Is this a clue heywood reference or a coincidence?
The latter.