Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

The fantasy football satellite radio channel I listen to told me that this was a week of ‘bad beats’ and to just ‘move on’ which struck me as odd. You see, I was projected to lose in all five of my leagues and ended winning in four of them. (if Mooney scores as much as the Bears D tonight it’ll be all five) Slow Realization Incoming Oh, got it! That was directed at the good fantasy players. During an upside-down week I did quite well. Huzzah for more bad beats!

Fallout:

-BFC, I apologize. I recced McKissic over RoJo so of course the latter goes off. The guy had 3 carries last week and 7 the week before (3.2ypc, btw) Arians has a bit of the Belichick in him I guess.

-Alex Smith flips the script. He threw for 390 yards and Overreaction Monday advocates are saying that Team is going to be okay at the spot until they find another candidate to lead the team. Hmmm. I’d like to note that Smith had no TD’s yesterday. HE THREW FOR 390! Also, he’s 36 years old and he counts for just over 23(!) million against the cap next year. When he gets to the minimum number of throws his Depth Of Target stat is gonna be right there with Brees.

-Speaking of, he’s cracked some ribs and collapsed a lung. Winston Ahoy!, right? Not so fast you overeager barnacles, the Saints have the toughest strength of sked for qb’s the rest of the year and, interceptions, lots and lots of interceptions.

-Stat That Usually Matters But Not In This Context: the Giants are the only team that has a winning record within the division.

-Joshua Kelley is in freefall. Two weeks ago he lost carries to Troymaine Pope fine, whatever, I’m still the receiving back and now yesterday he lost that status to Kalen Ballage. Drop him from your team the way the coaching staff has dropped him from their thoughts.

-Target Hog Status Unlocked: He had that lovely Hail Mary pass and ended up with 127 yards receiving, so good for Hopkins. The next best wr on the Cards totaled all of 34.

TO THE GAME!

Vikes/Bears:

-Minny has allowed the most number of TD’s to wr’s at 16 and counting tonight. (Mooney!)

-Nagy has handed over play-calling to OC Bill Lazor, who was the one calling them all week during practice since the beginning of the season. Does that make any sense? The head coach doesn’t playcall during the week, just during the game?

-Chicago fans are relieved that the change has been made and you would be as well if you watched your team average 17(!) points a game for the last six weeks.

-The Bears started at 5-1, the Vikes at 1-5 and I have a vision of the respective team buses waving at each other as they pass in opposite directions through the division.

-One thing holding Minny back tonight though is that they are 4-16 at Soldier Field since 2000.

Give it your best or whatever in the comments.

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
291 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Unsurprised
yeah right

Is Nick Foles still grabbing his bone?

blaxabbath

Would be funny if the [*Redacted] s won the SB and it was in history like, “yeah they had a racist name for decades and then did not secure rights to the redhawks yet to they were just “the Washington Football Team”…

Last edited 3 years ago by blaxabbath
Unsurprised

No.

Unsurprised

FUCK NO!

Unsurprised

This is a horrible fucking idea.

Unsurprised

Did I miss anything?

Gumbygirl

Bullshit. Eli Manning, Trent Dilfer, Flacco…

ballsofsteelandfury

We’re not talking about Jimmy Mac. We’re talking about Bradshaw.

ballsofsteelandfury

Let’s apply that same logic to Tom Brady.

Unsurprised

There’s less to show than McMahon

Recovery Whiskey

Doug Williams, Brad Johnson, Jeff Hostetler…

Duchess

I say this with all sincerity… I miss Kyle Orton

Beerguyrob

It’s not the same, but here’s some Randy Orton.
comment image

Duchess

Its ok the Bears have no offensive line to put in front of the a QB if they had one.

Gratliff

We’ll always have the double doink

Dunstan

Buddy Cole has had a few more than that.

Duchess

06?

Duchess

FUCK IT GO DEEP NUMBER 8

ballsofsteelandfury

That would be fantastic

ballsofsteelandfury

I can think of plenty of QBs more overrated than Bradshaw.

Recovery Whiskey

This coaching staff can turn any QB into crap

Beerguyrob

The Houston Texans accept your challenge.

Unsurprised

/THE CLEVELAND BROWNS DOORS FALL TO THE FLOOR

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

Unsurprised

It’s the QB equivalent of the elevator scene from The Shining.

Gratliff

go birds

ballsofsteelandfury

Big Dick Nick has gone Limp.

WCS

Did Big Dick Nick just get murdered?

King Hippo

It’s nice when the dishwasher is 90+ percent full at bedtime, so one feels justified starting it before snoozies.

Duchess

Foles is dead, baby, Foles is dead

Gratliff

There it is

Duchess

No Coach eats fo free more off of 1 Super Bowl win than Sean Payton.

Dunstan

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED — A. Reid

Recovery Whiskey

The 2013 Seahawks have entered the chat

Recovery Whiskey

As long as you stay out of the lava pit in the closet you’ll be OK

King Hippo

I’ll take my chances, thanks! – Sen Lindsay G., Washington, DC

Gumbygirl

Hobo ghosts.

Recovery Whiskey

Bears post-season chances sinking like a rock

Fronkenshteen

Oh. If Miller catches that.

Recovery Whiskey

Gator armed it

Recovery Whiskey

Darrell Bevell is a riverboat gambler compared to Lazor

Last edited 3 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
Fronkenshteen

How bad would it be if they eliminated the holding penalty along the line of scrimmage?

Unsurprised

It would make the game so much better.

Fronkenshteen

Nick Foles looks like a young Mitch McConnell.

Gratliff

They call that foreshadowing

Recovery Whiskey

Looks like Dalvin Cook really got on the ball

hippofant

They did try a 3-man all-go with 7-man protection on 3rd and 6 earlier.

Foles got sacked by a stunt that never got blocked.

SonOfSpam

weak shin pads smh

Gratliff

Tell me this is more entertaining than NFC East derp

King Hippo

guy who fucked up the extra point already named “Cutting”

Fronkenshteen

THAT HELPS THE BOTTOM LINE!

Gratliff

Bears gonna win with an extra point, eh?

Senor Weaselo

I just felt my nose recoil after a sneeze. Ow.

King Hippo

ooooooh, is it #NuAIDS???

Senor Weaselo

Probably not? I do have what can be called a large nose.

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Hermana Weaselo and I use this as a common bit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRdqLd_fcw4

Fronkenshteen

Chris Paul to theSuns. That do anything for anybody?

SonOfSpam

(shrug) Good job selling high by OKC I guess.

Game Time Decision

You’re a fan? Let me send you a special pic
-B Farve

SonOfSpam

Hopefully her glasses are really high-powered.

SonOfSpam

Best run of the night – just needed to get his nuts crushed I guess.

Fronkenshteen

Founding Fathers is such a good backup RB.

Recovery Whiskey

Sweetness

Recovery Whiskey

And the titty-kisser is inactive tonight because?