The fantasy football satellite radio channel I listen to told me that this was a week of ‘bad beats’ and to just ‘move on’ which struck me as odd. You see, I was projected to lose in all five of my leagues and ended winning in four of them. (if Mooney scores as much as the Bears D tonight it’ll be all five) Slow Realization Incoming Oh, got it! That was directed at the good fantasy players. During an upside-down week I did quite well. Huzzah for more bad beats!
Fallout:
-BFC, I apologize. I recced McKissic over RoJo so of course the latter goes off. The guy had 3 carries last week and 7 the week before (3.2ypc, btw) Arians has a bit of the Belichick in him I guess.
-Alex Smith flips the script. He threw for 390 yards and Overreaction Monday advocates are saying that Team is going to be okay at the spot until they find another candidate to lead the team. Hmmm. I’d like to note that Smith had no TD’s yesterday. HE THREW FOR 390! Also, he’s 36 years old and he counts for just over 23(!) million against the cap next year. When he gets to the minimum number of throws his Depth Of Target stat is gonna be right there with Brees.
-Speaking of, he’s cracked some ribs and collapsed a lung. Winston Ahoy!, right? Not so fast you overeager barnacles, the Saints have the toughest strength of sked for qb’s the rest of the year and, interceptions, lots and lots of interceptions.
-Stat That Usually Matters But Not In This Context: the Giants are the only team that has a winning record within the division.
-Joshua Kelley is in freefall. Two weeks ago he lost carries to Troymaine Pope fine, whatever, I’m still the receiving back and now yesterday he lost that status to Kalen Ballage. Drop him from your team the way the coaching staff has dropped him from their thoughts.
-Target Hog Status Unlocked: He had that lovely Hail Mary pass and ended up with 127 yards receiving, so good for Hopkins. The next best wr on the Cards totaled all of 34.
TO THE GAME!
Vikes/Bears:
-Minny has allowed the most number of TD’s to wr’s at 16 and counting tonight. (Mooney!)
-Nagy has handed over play-calling to OC Bill Lazor, who was the one calling them all week during practice since the beginning of the season. Does that make any sense? The head coach doesn’t playcall during the week, just during the game?
-Chicago fans are relieved that the change has been made and you would be as well if you watched your team average 17(!) points a game for the last six weeks.
-The Bears started at 5-1, the Vikes at 1-5 and I have a vision of the respective team buses waving at each other as they pass in opposite directions through the division.
-One thing holding Minny back tonight though is that they are 4-16 at Soldier Field since 2000.
Give it your best or whatever in the comments.
Wait for it …
https://i.imgur.com/3gppmAC.mp4
Is Nick Foles still grabbing his bone?
Would be funny if the [*Redacted] s won the SB and it was in history like, “yeah they had a racist name for decades and then did not secure rights to the redhawks yet to they were just “the Washington Football Team”…
No.
FUCK NO!
This is a horrible fucking idea.
Did I miss anything?
Bullshit. Eli Manning, Trent Dilfer, Flacco…
We’re not talking about Jimmy Mac. We’re talking about Bradshaw.
Let’s apply that same logic to Tom Brady.
There’s less to show than McMahon
Doug Williams, Brad Johnson, Jeff Hostetler…
I say this with all sincerity… I miss Kyle Orton
It’s not the same, but here’s some Randy Orton.
Its ok the Bears have no offensive line to put in front of the a QB if they had one.
We’ll always have the double doink
Buddy Cole has had a few more than that.
06?
FUCK IT GO DEEP NUMBER 8
That would be fantastic
I can think of plenty of QBs more overrated than Bradshaw.
This coaching staff can turn any QB into crap
The Houston Texans accept your challenge.
/THE CLEVELAND BROWNS DOORS FALL TO THE FLOOR
It’s the QB equivalent of the elevator scene from The Shining.
go birds
Big Dick Nick has gone Limp.
Did Big Dick Nick just get murdered?
Looks like he got circumcised real bad.
It’s nice when the dishwasher is 90+ percent full at bedtime, so one feels justified starting it before snoozies.
Foles is dead, baby, Foles is dead
There it is
No Coach eats fo free more off of 1 Super Bowl win than Sean Payton.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED — A. Reid
The 2013 Seahawks have entered the chat
I’m headed off to bed and I’ll be jumping into it from at least four feet away because (duh) monsters underneath.
As long as you stay out of the lava pit in the closet you’ll be OK
I’ll take my chances, thanks! – Sen Lindsay G., Washington, DC
Hobo ghosts.
Bears post-season chances sinking like a rock
“Fook you. Fook me. Fook me forever, naturally.”
-Lionel Ritchie
Oh. If Miller catches that.
Gator armed it
Darrell Bevell is a riverboat gambler compared to Lazor
How bad would it be if they eliminated the holding penalty along the line of scrimmage?
It would make the game so much better.
Nick Foles looks like a young Mitch McConnell.
They call that foreshadowing
Looks like Dalvin Cook really got on the ball
Bears conservative play-calling is frickin’ hilarious. It’s as though it’s being done by an AI program that doesn’t correct for negative-yard plays.
They did try a 3-man all-go with 7-man protection on 3rd and 6 earlier.
Foles got sacked by a stunt that never got blocked.
weak shin pads smh
Tell me this is more entertaining than NFC East derp
guy who fucked up the extra point already named “Cutting”
THAT HELPS THE BOTTOM LINE!
Bears gonna win with an extra point, eh?
Wouldn’t mind being a Purple Nipple Eater, tbh…
I just felt my nose recoil after a sneeze. Ow.
ooooooh, is it #NuAIDS???
Probably not? I do have what can be called a large nose.
Hermana Weaselo and I use this as a common bit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRdqLd_fcw4
Chris Paul to theSuns. That do anything for anybody?
(shrug) Good job selling high by OKC I guess.
You’re a fan? Let me send you a special pic
-B Farve
Hopefully her glasses are really high-powered.
Best run of the night – just needed to get his nuts crushed I guess.
Founding Fathers is such a good backup RB.
Sweetness
And the titty-kisser is inactive tonight because?
Loving her tribute to Payton Walter!