Whilst many hot-takers are pouring shit all over the good (huh?) folks of Baltimore and their football team, Who could have seen this happening during a pandemic, really? I choose to admire the power that the Ravens have over the league. Not only have they embarrassed said league by forcing them to re-schedule this tilt three times, the Ravens have 1) caused another Thursday game to get canceled 2) created a Monday night doubleheader 3) sprung into being another Tuesday night game. All this while dragging the Steelers and their fans along in their powerful wake. Very nice flex, Baltimore Ravens.
TO THE GAME!
Ravens/Steelers:
-Ingram and Dobbins are out of Covid but not in uniform. That might have something to do with not having practiced for ten days and that was a smart thing for their team to do. Had either one gotten injured a hellfire of vitriol would have rained down on the team. (not that they aren’t accustomed to it by now)
-So it’s Gus The Bus-his nickname seems awfully familiar-Time today. His last two vs Pitt he’s done 217 yards and a TD. Who will be blocking for him? No one knows.
-Speaking of being bereft of knowledge, with Edwards, Ricard and Boyle all out for various reasons, I’ve not a clue as to who will pretend to play the tight end spot. The punter? The waterboy/girl? Will a coin be flipped?
-RG3 gets the nod and it doesn’t look as though it will be pretty but given how badly Lamar’s passing stats have regressed maybe a change will do the team a good. Though PFF’s passing matchups chart gives Marquise Brown -9% vs Joe Hayden, Dez Bryant is -21% vs Steve Nelson and Devin Duvernay is -infinity vs Cam Sutton.
-It’s Important to Share: Steelers wr’s Claypool, JuJu and Johnson all have between 559 and 535 yards receiving.
-Conner is out, Snell is in but likely won’t do that much damage. Pitt’s offensive DVOA when running the ball is ranked 29th in the league. Who’ll bet that this stat will bite them on the bum when they’re trying to run out the clock in a tight playoff game?
-No, it’s The Ben Pass Show. It’s mostly quick slants underneath and fades/back shoulder passes outside the numbers when they get single coverage. As a Giants goofball, I wonder what it would be like to have wr’s that can separate from defenders.
-Just heard that Pouncey is out for the game.
Welp, enjoy the spectacle of the NFL playing a game on a sunny (here) Wednesday afternoon.
Yesssssss!
This really might be Yinz year, everything keeps breaking right
Please don’t say breaking – RGIII
I’m hopeful, but I’ve seen some derp in my 60 years!
still time for sneak/pass/sneak (as needed)
Well, that’s a SUDDEN CHANGE
(sees RG3 run for 43-yards)
“He seems healthy after his knee blew up. Maybe Burrow will be okay.”
(see RG3 come up lame)
“Stand corrected. No hope still remains.”
I would provide reassurance, but I somehow doubt the Bengals will avoid the shit that ultimately destroyed RG3, namely bringing him back too early and then proceeding to beat the shit out of him for a couple years for no apparent reason
Reports are that Burrow is already rehabbing like a beast even before surgery, so it looks like Burrow will come back early and the Bengals will be too chicken to tell their franchise to caddy for a few games next year.
Goddamn repetitive history.
We got home from Loma Linda just in time for Collinsworth to piss me off. I was happy in the car with Kenny Albert on Sirius.
It can be hard to synch up, but TV on mute + radio is nawt bad
You can also keep the TV on mute and listen to the new Cum Town episode
I’d have to drive through the front door and up the stairs.
I got into a twitter argument with some redhat in Loma Linda and it gave me great pleasure to point out that home values were higher in the Crenshaw neighborhood of Los Angeles (home to both MLK and Obama boulevards) than they are there.
Oh hell, he came up lame.
Griffin hurt his Dimestring. Dammit.
When I get access to time travel, I will somehow manipulate the timeline so RG3 doesn’t end up crippled. I’ll also assassinate Snyder, even if not required for the mission.
Since you’ll be in Washington, I have a few more on my list!
I already got that penciled into my objectives when I work out the kinks to my Flux Compositor.
We should coordinate to avoid replicating historical effort and work in more DFO requests
I’m establishing a castle armed with 32nd Century weaponry in 14th Century England after I rescue JFK, Lincoln, Marilyn Monroe and young Judy Garland from their wrong destines. Meet me then later and we’ll coordinate future plans.
Deal
Could you cause a football injury for Collinsworth where his vocal cords are ripped out during a game, keeping him from ever stepping foot in the booth?
Wow, wouldn’t mind having Griffin’s ligaments when he’s done with them.
Man, the timing on that comment…
How do you delete a comment? Asking for a friend…
He’ll be a hobo soon enough and you can just do what you do and keep them as a trophy
I threw some beer into the side door compartments of my freezer around 2 and they are ice cold right now. I love it when an (alcoholic) plan comes together.
We have an icemaker and if you drop them in with the cubes it works like a charm. Until you forget about one, of course, at which point your wife informs you that you will be having beer-flavored ice for dinner.
Where is Wakey, he can React Reasonably now?
I feel like being the lone fan, standing in the yellow end zone of a Wednesday afternoon Covid Steelers game must be a metaphor for something, but I can’t think of anything depressing enough
Just told everyone that we were getting a delivery and I had to put them on mute while the dog barked.
Now I can sit back and listen to the dulcet tones of…
Cris Collinsworth!? What the fuck!?
Mutes TV, rejoins dying mediation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTLjobt6PaM
I’m in the middle of a Zoom mediation right now, and it’s going nowhere.
I’m about to pull a Toobin and end it.
Gotta 1-up Toobin, maybe improvise a cock ring from everyday kitchen items?
How many servings of spaghetti are you?
Just tuned in. Has that annoying woman been yelling into the microphone all game?
Collinsworth identifies as a man, and yes that shrill harpee has been squawking all game.
Aw man, you beat my Collinsworth joke by 5 seconds
Parcells and Kraft both perk up, but for different reasons
I think it’s pretty elite that her skin didn’t fake melt off when the bottom half of that fake jersey was fake burned
You know what I like about these “celebrity” Christmas variety shows? Fucking nothing.
Yeah, a Mercedes Benz parent wouldn’t allow their child to pick up some nasty abandoned stuffed animal off the ground that had probably previously been owned by some disgusting poor.
My Honda parent wife wouldn’t let our kid pick that up either. That thing is creepy.
Only the very, very poor, and the very, very rich (who got that way by being total tightasses) would allow it
I recall once reading about a billionaire who washed and hung out to dry his used ziploc bags.
I believe it, those people are next level. People forget they exist because they act like it’s the depths of the Depression, but then they die and leave their billions to totally random shit and merit a small article in their local newspaper
Did Al get the #NuAIDS, or is Wednesday just reserved for the ponies?
“Sure, I can get that done by close of business on Wednesday.” – me to a client, before I knew this game was happening today
I am also on an insane deadline (after having fuckall to do the last 10 days), but fuck it, I just figure I’ll stay up until 4 and finish then.
I am hoping the “firewall maintenance” issue that booted me from logging into work continues for another couple hours!
Did you specify which Wednesday? I hear there’s one next week too!
[Grabs tv remote to call into work]
No, you’re the one that’s distracted!
/tell you what, I’ll throw in a 10 lb tube of lean ground for $32.
Baby, you got a stew goin’.
Note to self: scan the Calvin and Hobbes strips that feature Calvinball and replace the dialogue with NFL-appropriate fare and call it COVIDball.
get on the Gus Bus
don’t need to discuss muuuuuch
“Sounds way better than the pus bus I’ve been riding.” – Lawrence Tynes
I completely forgot RGIII played for Cleveland.
Mercifully, so has he
“RG3 still able to run? Shoulda left him in even longer back then.”
-Mike Shanahan
Shanny fucked him up first, but chubby Gruden cemented the damage
oh, how I do miss having Fatty Gruden around to body shame…
Have to admire RG3’s willingness to have his tendons ripped again
What a clusterf^%k this game is so far
THEY HAD SO MUCH TIME TO NOT PRACTISE!
More turnovers than commercial breaks-doesn’t happen often.
On Wednesday afternoon football, ANYTHING GOES
“That’s a day ending in -y at the Reid household!”
-Andy, combing crumbs from his mustache
I think she’s farting?
Those eyes, man. She’s pill-friendly fo sho.
/knows Dok is not a man
Any word is unisex when used as an interjection, which that basically is
Kids these days (at least my daughters) say bruh all the time, as we did “man” or “dude”
“Dude” is a silly word and I use it frequently
Yeah she has had some Percs.
probably a crush, crush, snort, snort kind of gal
Turnovers, missed PAT’s-this game is shaping up nicely.
/Brussel sprouts are going for $40
Are we retail-hoarding survivalist supplies for the Clubhouse??
LOL
Rocking out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JPRvxTjfOk
HAIL SHA’NKLOR
Game. Blouses.
That missed extra point could be yuuuuuugggge, Ratbirds could still draw with three safeties!
oh FUCK OFF RG3/Yinzers
This is a damn fine crab cake. I eat it in tribute to RG3’s remaining joints
Fuck. I still have four hours to go at work.
Five here. But I’m tending bar and have had one customer today, so fitbaw it is.
Nice.
I could watch the game, but that’s not why I’m here. So I can’t contribute.
T-bars or I-bars?
THROW IT IN THE END ZONE YOU BIG DUMMY
HARF HARF HARF! OK!
Well, he did.
ultimately, still better than taking the sack. Not quite on par with throwing the ball away.
.
Yeah, he did. [sad horn]
My bad, coach.
Sell price for a 25lb box of jalapenos is $60 this week, btw.
oh shit, I have to fade YUUUUUUGE games by Yinzer D/ST and Tucker. Don’t enjoy that combo platter.
I have one where I am down 2 pts, I have THE Ben and he has Tucker. Normally I would think I am fine. These times ain’t normal.
my blood pressure is well up now.
Not wasting time going long to Claypool.
I guess if the NFL is gonna do a random midday game it’s good that it’s on no-meeting Wednesday. Let the weekday day-drinking begin! Also, I’m gonna eat a crab cake.
Wouldn’t it be fun to have all NFL fixtures in separate time slots, and the specific day and time assigned by random number generator?
And even the teams don’t find out until the week before?
I’m down, although I should up my savings since I wasn’t actually planning on slacking off until I got fired until I was financially able to retire
YAAAAASSSSSS!
I think the NFL has played on every day of the week except for Friday and Saturday this year and we’ll see games played on those days in week 16!*
*Coronavirus Pending
there would have been Saturday games back in January….
I’ve watched parts of two games from the Maui Invitational with Bill Walton announcing and the amount of attention he’s paid to the game is maybe 25% and I’m being generous.
/but it’s actually sorta interesting
They probably should sit out a couple of months and then do March Madness. Nobody wants to watch regular season B1G basketball.
Day drinking on a wednesday. OK NFL if you insist
Does this mean I have to make Thanksgiving dinner again?
Viva el entropy!!
Is that the Puerto Rican left guard on the Ravens practice squad? About time he got a chance.
He’s used to mop up duty only
If you look closely you can see Don T throwing a slider.
Shit, I’m almost out of paper towels! Between these and the beans people are throwing good shit this year.
Target had actual Bounty select-a-size available yesterday morning. I was quite verklempt.
I might have to start using dish towels like a goddamn cave person
I know, don’t like the return of “feels like a galdurn plebian” stage of our Plague Year.
Fuck this game. Diontae Johnson needs to stay out of the end zone.