It’s been tough to make predictions in this most unlikely of football adventures this year but here’s one I feel I can safely offer. The entire NFC East will lose this week, allowing the mighty New York Football Giants to maintain their stranglehold on the division lead. Easy Peasy.
TO THE GAMES!
Saints/Falcons:
Fantasy owners looking to Kamara to win them some games down the stretch have been ambushed by The Taysom Hill Factor. Three targets in two weeks? Adding insult to injury, he’s been out-snapped by Lat Murray 34 to 25. ATL has been enjoying a prolonged ‘dead cat bounce’ after the Quinn firing-their D has gone from surrendering 32 points per game all the way down to a much more respectable 20.
Lions/Bears:
Truth Biscuit gonna have himself a game? Over his last four vs Detroit he’s had 3 TD scores each time. The secret behind his success was the Lions not disguising their coverages at all. Since-fired Patricia used little to no motion pre-snap so Mitch was able to go to get the ball to his first read. It’s hard to imagine that the Lions would be able to change things up so quickly. Your sneaky play just might be Darnell Mooney who is playing off Jeff Odukah-the latter has given up the 3rd most yards receiving despite missing 2 games.
Browns/Titans:
Since the Titans acquired Desmond King they have been PFF’s highest-graded coverage unit. Their run D remains a work in progress though. They’ve allowed the 7th most fantasy points to rb’s and struggle when opposing O’s give them a taste of their own Derrick Henry medicine. “Oh, oh. That’s Nick Chubb’s music!”
Bengals/Fins:
“Ladies and Gentlemen, if Fitz is under center, start your Devante Adams.” He gets a silly 40% target share when the bearded Harvard is in there and there are far more shots downfield. Tua is a gametimer and Flores insists if he’s ready to go he’ll be in there. At 7-4 the Fins need to take care of business here because they have K.C, N.E., L.V. and the Bills the rest of the way.
Jags/Vikes:
Minny has the 25th ranked run D and is the only team to allow 100 yards to Zeke. That bodes well for rb Robinson because The Giraffe leaned on him plenty last week to the tune of 27 touches and a ridiculous 97% snap share.
Raiders/Jets:
The Jets trajectory is such that one can get a ‘Lawrence’ jersey in green and white on eBay. They do have the league’s 4th best run D but that’s because everyone passes on them. That said, Vegas will no doubt give rb Booker (Jacobs is injured) 20 touches because Gruden will always Gruden.
Colts/Texans:
Rook Taylor was finally tearing Indy’s RBBC asunder when he got Corona-ed. So does he immediately return as the main guy or are fantasy guys back to square one again? Many are lamenting the absence of Will Fuller but the Texans are more likely wishing that cb Bradley-Robey was on the field. Without him Houston has gifted 196/2 to Adams and 146/1 to Chark. Hear that, Michael Pittman owners?
Do you have a prediction? Let’s hear it.
yep, Dingleberry. I liked THAT!
Was first play i was able to see, hopefully the rest of the day will bring me as much joy.
really hoping cousins throws another 2 picks
go jags
Are we keeping track of all the worthy banners that we’ve missed because the last update put the site on Read-Only?
For sure. I myself have about three dozen. No idea about the rest of you.
humble bragging your body count smh
I missed all this. What happened? Did WBS have the password or something?
WordPress update broke our ability to update it
Can’t you just make New Banner the first line of every post?
Stop coming up with such good ideas
But seriously, we should be doing somethin
At least with Boyd getting ejected we get a chance to see Aldi’s brand Edelman get a few 3 yard receptions.
Just caught myself getting tipsy.
Brain “If you didn’t want this why did you come to the bar???”
Your brain has a solid point
of course Younghoe has some garish ink
Tramp stamp?
This Jaguars defense, I call a Duval county trailer park because they’re trying to fuck cousins but not having the success they expected
Cincinnati-Miami is threating to go Cincinnati-Pittsburgh Wild Cardish.
Fins and bungles getting a little teste
That’s low hanging fruit, btw.
I’ll say this for Zac Taylor, he is completely over his head, but he has his players’ backs.
Are players still ejected if they throw Hawaiian Punch? They really should be, it’s an awful bevvie.
These Raiders, I call them ugly women because I have no interest in seeing them, hearing them, or giving a damn if a bunch of New Yorkers beat the snot out of them because, frankly, what’s in it for me?
And now my opponent is losing points with the Tennessee defense.
Tyler Boyd was just ejected for being punched 15 yards out of bounds.
This Raiders line, I call it the Mantuaka (whatever the town is on Making a Murderer) police department because they aren’t taking appropriate measures to protect an important Carr!
“Personal Foul, Cincinnati Bench, Questioning the Will of the Referees, 15 yard penalty, fourth down. An assistant coach of the commissioner’s choice will be drawn and quartered at halftime.”
Two players ejected, only one player penalized. I hate to sound like a Pats fan, but the refs are out for us
(translated from Bostonian)
“There is no person that refutes this opinion.”
Chubb hammering it in through a tight gap.
“Has Adam Gase turned this franchise around?!”
– Meet The Press after that one sack
They warned me that if Biden was elected, Tennessee would be overrun by The Browns, and they were right!
Alternate universe where we can still change it Banner!
It turns out, the real banner was the quotes we met along the way…
Chicago TD!
I thought gold didn’t breathe
Lucky for her that’s pyrite at best
I dunno, it kind of looks like a giant dick and balls.
It’s a lady and mosaic flooring, all in one!
This Cleveland-Tennessee game, I call it an actress’s first topless scene because those Tits are finally being exposed as fake.
Regretting goi my Tanny over Marmalard today….
I won’t stand for this Halle Berry slander
“You and me, sister!”
-Jamie Lee Curtis
dontcha just hate when a pornstar has a great natural body and they get a bunch of plastic surgery and ruin it?
“We can be Churros, just for one day.”
-A. Reid, singing his fave David Bowie tune during karaoke
His second favorite is “Let’s Brunch.”
Eat It
Hungry Like the Wolf.
Now that all the buffets have been shut down, “China Grill” has moved down a few spots
Omelette City is up there.
“Kibble, Kibble” is popular with all the cool cats.
“Moonpie Daydream”
Aw, now I’m all nostalgic for 2009
I don’t know how to put it, but it’s upsetting that it took Burrow getting ground into paste for the Bengals to finally go, “alright, let’s figure out a good blocking scheme so we can protectBrandon Allen”
Some of it is also Allen not holding the ball too long, but yeah, this is a bit frustrating.
“We wrecked the BMV, so lets take care of the Ford Fiesta.
ThisSunday I call it Catherine the Great ‘cause I want Colts to get fucked
This Sunday I call it 9/11 because Jets crash and burn
1st half ain’t over and I ran out of game adjustments:
-switch wine to Coke Zero ✔️
-switch game for Red Zone ✔️
-scream ME CAGO EN LA HOSTIA ✔️
Judging from the promos, that CBS sitcom “The Neighborhood” has the fakest-looking yard since the Bradys.
Have you seen the Simpson’s yard? Looks like someone drew it with colored markers or something!
Hmmm, replacing the grass in a yard with whiteboard flooring isn’t a bad idea
Nice try, BLEERGH, but that’s an incomplete pass.
Hippo, whats a good parlay add to Gmen +10, Over 48.5 in Rammit/Quards, and
Mahomes over 2.5 passing TDs?
Tuesday night football getting postponed?
Hippo Don’t Parlay!
Litre does. Add the Mahomes.
What a throw/catch from Fat Stafford to Cephus.
I think I could probably hurdle a relatively short 2 year old.
Just go with the stiff arm, and get the yardage, Dok!
Who cares about a little toddler CTE, they’ll get over it if you give them a cookie.
Ok, Canucks, what’s president’s choice? I like to know what kind of ads I’m ignoring.
Store brand from one of our grocery store chains.
But president of what? Don’t y’all have a premier? And a queen?
/prime minister, whatever
I’m amazed that Amazon hasn’t picked up this branding opportunity, the Amazon Prime minister of Canadia!
Yeah but they own the rainforest, right?
It’s a national grocery chain’s private label. Something like Kroger’s “Eat This, You Fat Fuck” line.*
*may be just riffing
I’d buy it
Wintery mix on the Soldier Field turf? Turf which is second only to Fedex field in its lumpy, spray-painted concrete-like qualities? FUN
Doesn’t a Chicago Wintry Mix consist of rock salt, broken glass and shell casings?
So… I have to watch the 0-11 Jest on Sunday when there are other games being played, but I don’t get to watch the 11-0 Steelers on Monday afternoon when there are no other games. That seems fair.
“You’ve got a thing against jesters?”
-Roland The Farter
Wait, I thought Guiliani’s first name was Rudy
Timely.
Dok had BOTH the Fins’ kicker and D/ST active. Would have been a 12-point play.
/big exhale
Harrumph!
That D/ST – kicker combo has been GOLD for me the last couple weeks
If the Dolphins trick play had stood, would those be D/ST points in fantasy since punt unit?
YES, see above
Peak Bengals and Peak Dolphins on one play.
That’s just disappointing
“roach clip” has to be the worst term
I’m leaning toward “moist towelette” for the ick factor. Try saying it out loud without gagging!
“soggy jockstrap”
Second Trump Administration
Flagged for hate speech.
“Mike Glennon”
“Mike Glennon’s soggy jockstrap”
He could clean that up with a ….moist towelette!
LOLfins
Florida not real big on accurately reporting numbers
TRICKY TRICKY TRICKY
itss ROCKING!!!!
really shot themselves in the
footfin.It’s very difficult for dolphins to shoot themselves in the dick, due to a handy genital pocket
24-7 Browns ahead. NOT surprising.
PFF can grab* my left nut.
* Caress apologetically
cats r scratchin those vikings
go guars
PERTINENT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91l_J0dh3Zw
Opening up the magnum of Toscana Rossi. This is a Good Idea.
“Gonna disagree with this assessment.”
-Monday Morning
Get into it Zymm!
Don’t they have something called the Genius Award?
I award you one!
/DonT emegencia carton of cigarettes FLIES OPEN
Release the booze!
Oh, I think that got loose on the first #ThePauls drive
Did AJ Brown get an owie????
Looks like a twisted ankle.
Just a cramp, or possibly a miniature explosive nanotech device implanted in his leg went off
Like always, Tits didn’t pay attention to the fat guy
BANNER!!!
[laughs in block editor]
-Redshirt
Its wasn’t me who wrote down my banner in permanent marker!
2nd Touch of Downs touched down!
“It’s pronounced ‘Crowdah’.”
-folks that summer on Cape Cod
Strange on when money is involved these Mormons have a relation that its ok.
Did someone tell Trubisky, “look, EVERYONE thinks you’re terrible and going to be a clipboard holder or worse the rest of your career. You have nothing to lose. There’s no pressure any more, just go do whatever” and now he’s mainly cromulent?
Lions defense may be involved here.
I did not see #thePauls pulling this off.
The Factory wishes it to be known their closure, likely due to Covid-19 outbreak, is only temporary. They will be back to full-time production of Sadness as soon as possible, definitely in time for the playoffs.
Tricky Browns dump on Tits
Ah, the old “Cleveland Steamer”
I played in a slowpitch league many years ago where there was a team called that.
Worst. PornHub search term. Ever.
Even with the German contingent?