Your “Sunday Is Funday” NFL Football Open Thread

Yay, it’s here! And now we have all sorts of tilts with playoff and/or draft position implications.

TO THE GAMES!

Texans/Bears:

Whar is Bears D? After not allowing qb’s to get even 20 fantasy points in week’s 1-11 they’ve given 25 to Rodgers and 26 to Stafford-this bodes well for Watson who is playing out of his mind right now. Keke shone last week in the absence of Cooks but the latter is back after solving his concussion issues.

Cowboys/Bengals:

If you’re looking to stream a qb for your playoff game you’re in a tough spot just like me and you could do worse that Dalton. Due to Cincy’s inability to generate any kind of pressure he should have all day back there to throw to his mighty triumvirate of wr’s. This is probably the most underwhelming ‘Revenge’ game you’ll likely ever eyeball.

Chiefs/Fins:

I’m kinda curious as to what Flores is going to do in this spot. Miami is top 5 in generating pressure and might have the league’s top pair of cb’s in Howard and Jones but Kelce and Hill are nearly unguardable. Stay away from the Chiefs backfield though, it’s a fat mess.

Cards/Giants:

While great strides have been made the Giants o-line is one of only two (Hi, Jets!) that allows pressure on more than 40% of dropbacks. Hopkins has struggled recently when shadowed by Ramsey and Gilmore and today he’ll get the same treatment from Bradberry who is making his own case for being a top 5 cb.

Vikes/Bucs:

Has Tampa fixed their secondary? They’ve given up 376/3 to Goff and 462/3 to Mahomes in weeks 11 and 12. If Dalvin can’t cook (sorry Russ) it could mean that Cousins gets beyond his usual 20 throws and that means good things for Jefferson and Thielen. Things is, Brady should have an easy time of it vs a Vikes D that is 25th in yards per attempt allowed.

Broncos/Panthers:

One imagines what te Fant could do with a consistent qb under center. Of Lock’s 14 games played he’s thrown for over 250 and had more than one score only twice. Robby Anderson hasn’t been talked about much but he’s one of only 6 wr’s that has a 27% or more target share.

Titans/Jags:

Henry needs to average 171 yards per game in order to join the folks in the 2,000 pantheon. Today he has the Jags and then it’s Lions, Packers and Texans. It’s doable. A.J. Brown gets all the press for his big days and his fumbling at the goal line/dropping open passes but Corey Davis should be a top 20 wr today. It’s a limited sample but nobody has a higher percentage of deep passes thrown than Giraffe’s 20%.

Join me in the funny papers, won’t you?

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rockingdog

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Corey Davis
why u got negative pts?
ugh not rocking

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Honestly forgot the bears were playing this morning. I see some of them did too.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Correction: i clearly read that score wrong and am more confused than tebow at a drag brunch

litre_cola

Didn’t he circumcize folk in the Phillipines?

Doktor Zymm

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Dunstan

The Dolphins are beating the Chiefs?

I’m skeptical. The Dolphins are like my sexual technique — we may occasionally show flashes of competence, but we don’t last long and rarely deliver satisfaction.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, they won’t hold this lead past halftime.

ArmedandHammered

We gots a NosRTDamous here.

litre_cola

Give me a spiteful Gordondown.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mahomes getting the Tom Brady treatment.

herodotus450

Going all in on a blitz is really more of a New Hamburg thing, if you really think about it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The “Chicago Way” kotw remains one of my favorite things ever posted on this site.

Game Time Decision

The Vikings kicker was closer to hitting me than that FG.

Fronkenshteen

What a throw by Murray.

Doktor Zymm

THERE ARE NO FOOTS IN FOOTBALL

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[sheds a single tear] – Rex Ryan

Doktor Zymm

Some team needs to hire him as HC, no current coaches are nearly as fun

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Adam Gase is every bit as fun but in a completely different way.

King Hippo

Donks not WOO

King Hippo

wait, Mike Nugent is still alive??

Fronkenshteen

Vrabel got too cute.

rockingdog
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kind of amazing that skateboard dog consistently hangs eight.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Agreed. The most I’ve ever been able to hang is four.” – Brett F.

King Hippo

Kyler, he die?

litre_cola

FREE STREVY!!!!!!!!

/the backup played for Winnipeg you see.

Fronkenshteen

By the way, Congratulations and Good Luck to the playoff teams in my Inferior Fantasy Football League For Dopes:

FL JerBear50
BBW 90 Day Beyoncé
Sex Nuts And Retard Strong
Litre’s Wine Drinkin SZN
Iguana Mart Burble Borble
The Herodotus Fantasy FC

litre_cola

Sex, Nuts and Retard strong always makes me laugh, and it is wrong.

Redshirt

So, who’s gonna fumble the ball this drive?

Doktor Zymm

One silver lining to the pandemic, I’ve tried a lot of new kinds of Indian food in the past 9 months. Having kadhi pakoda, mixed veg, a paratha, and a glass of pinot noir for brunch today!

King Hippo

You see, this would cause me “toilet paper shortage” worries.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve never had any issues with Indian food, and it’s one of the easiest way for me to get my veggies

Fronkenshteen

I made Pho! It made me want to open a food truck.

Doktor Zymm

You should call it “Pho the GREATER GOOD”

Dunstan

By law, all Pho restaurants must contain puns.

Fronkenshteen

You’re not wrong.

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clint greasewood
Last edited 3 years ago by clint greasewood
Dunstan

That one gets bonus points for relying on the “authentic” pronounciation of “pho.” (“Fuh” rather than “Foe.”)

JustStopDude

I love how the two games I have available in my area do not feature a single winning team.

I need to stop being poor and just get cable I guess.

Doktor Zymm

Fuck cable. I do Red Zone through Sling, it’s the cheapest way to get it and you can cancel as soon as the season is over

Sharkbait

Why is Mahomes not doing the Quaterbacking thing very well?

King Hippo

Brian Flores might actually be a genius Belicheat disciple??

King Hippo

Mr. Winkles gets to meet another kicker of placements…

Redshirt

I am now getting flashbacks to the early 90s Bengals.

7b27986286c55f5992d4f49ca704bc1c.jpg (600×315) (pinimg.com)

King Hippo

One positive from fantasy – I DID purchase Justin Jefferson at auction for $3, and can keep him at $4 next season.

litre_cola

I have no idea the math that got me in them playoffs, and I have zero clue how the keepers work in that one.

King Hippo

or you guys could read the by-laws????

litre_cola

I would like it in both official languages please.

rockingdog

Gahhhh
come on Ryan tannie & Corey Davis
DOOOO SOMETHING!!!!

clint greasewood

Can’t believe Dallas defense is on waivers.

litre_cola

I luckily took them in 1 league.

Redshirt

Bengals Fumble III: The Search for Derp

rockingdog

yikes
butterfinger hands for that
chiefs reciever

Spur

Andy Reid’s discussion to feed the team fish and chips today is backfiring.

King Hippo

Nobody within 10 yards of Godwin, Dreamboat waaaayyyy off again.

Mother Puncher

What podcast is everybody listening to while they mute the announcers? This week’s behind the bastards about Roy cohn is pretty good.

King Hippo

They cover the dude who actually was behind the bastard?

Doktor Zymm

I sat behind a bastard at the theatre once in the olden days

The Maestro

Robert Evans fucking rules, man.

King Hippo

Samaje Perine has quite the Talibeard!

Mother Puncher

Allen just called an audible and a Bengals receiver literally shrugged his shoulders at him

Redshirt

When did we resign Ochocinco?

King Hippo

But what if you COULD?

Redshirt

2003-04: Immediately.
2005-later: No way.

King Hippo

/was attempted “Under One Roof!” callback joke

Redshirt

“1st time 2 Bengals RB fumbled in same game since 11/27/94”

As God as my witness, I thought it would’ve been much sooner than that.

Cecil Rhodes

Dolphins did a good. Insurmountable lead!

Redshirt

Bengals have benched their 1st and 2nd string RBs. At this rate, they’ll be handing the ball off to their mascot Who Dey by the 4th Quarter.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Mother Puncher

I had no idea our mascot was named Who Dey. That is so stupid holy shit

Redshirt

Stripey McStripeface was taken.

Mother Puncher

Oh hey apparently my favorite mls team won the championship without me realizing. Anyway, back to getting emotionally invested in the fucking bengals and watching every game this season.

rockingdog

quick question:

Allen Robinson and Corey Davis are both WR 1’s this week, rite?

Fronkenshteen

I think so.

Horatio Cornblower

FULHAM DEFEATS LIVERPOOL, 1-1!!

litre_cola

If you asked me this morning if I would take a point. Absolutely I would.

Doktor Zymm

Yes, I did drop the Miami D, why do you ask?

Spur

Aldon Smith is going to skin a Bengal today.

Doktor Zymm

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Horatio Cornblower

That won’t even be the 3rd worst thing he’s done.

Redshirt

Is that a promise? Is he taking suggestions? Can it be a coach? Or someone in the front office? Maybe in the owner’s suite? Mike Brown? Please?

King Hippo

Jeebus, when did Aldon Smith get so goddamned fat?

King Hippo

I assume “upon signing his extension” is the obvs answer

The Maestro

Guaranteed money means guaranteed calories.

Doktor Zymm

You gotta do a double fisted toast after you sign, one hand has a glass of champagne, the other a glass of melted butter garnished with a mini pizza

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought that was a Chiefs thing, not Cowboys.

Doktor Zymm

How did y’all come into your various Premier league fandoms?

Cecil Rhodes

Two words. Dennis Bergkamp.

Horatio Cornblower

Hippo made me do it.

King Hippo

DAMN SKIPPY!

/also, my Everton origin story is I got emergency drafted into coaching my kid’s Lesser Footy team (admitted I had coached little league baseball like 15 years previous, when my little brother played). In panic, I watched all the Premiership footy I could, so maybe would be able to fake understanding my jerb. Fell in love with Everton, because they were so similar to NC State (past glory, present…not, fandom equal parts passionate, paranoid, and BITTER AS FUCK).

Horatio Cornblower

The story behind me rooting for Arsenal is that Hippo bullied us into following the Premier League and picking a team, and at the time Arsenal had some sort of affiliation with the Yankees and was a good but not great team.

Now they’re not affiliated with the Yankees, (Man Shitty has taken that up, but I have my limits), and they’re borderline awful. Thanks Hippo!

King Hippo

What are Imaginary Friends FOAR, if not to share in one’s suffering?

Doktor Zymm

I spent a bunch of time in Manchester back when Man U was the obnoxious international hotness, and so one of the three teams I’ve almost affiliated myself with is Man City. (The other two being Burnley and West Ham)

King Hippo

Man City is Ian Curtis’ side, making them easily the least offensive “big club”

litre_cola

My buddy lived in West London when I lived in Scotland. Would take RyanAir down to visit for weekends and always partied in Fulham Hammersmith neighboUrhood. Went to a bunch of games. Great stadium, great neighboUrhood, good pubs, no violence, nice people.

Doktor Zymm

That sounds fun as hell, except for the RyanAir part

Horatio Cornblower

RyanAir: We’ll You There In One Piece And You’ll Shut Up And Like It

King Hippo

or we won’t, and you’ll still shut up!

Doktor Zymm

RyanAir: The first coin-op toilets in the air!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A friend of mine from London liked Arsenal, and I agreed that they had a cool name.

Redshirt

We’re at Peak Bungals, people! This is not a drill!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m rooting hard for Fulham here, but it is painfully apparent that Liverpool is just sooooooo much more talented than they are.

litre_cola

Fact.

King Hippo

Brady misses an easy TD seam route to Gronk. I am tumescent.

The Maestro

Diontae Spencer, former Ottawa REDBLACK, with the punt return TD!!!!!!

King Hippo

+1 no ofence!!

Cecil Rhodes

As someone whose skin colour is RedBlack, I am offended by this name1!1!!!,

Redshirt

Holy crap! AJ Green is still around?!

Mother Puncher

I really hope I don’t regret starting cooper over jacobs

Doktor Zymm

NFL getting off to a fast start this week!