As this post goes live, the New Year will be starting in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Portugal, Senegal, Liberia, Sierra Leone, THE Gambia, Guinea-Bissau, Guinea, Mauritania, Côte D’Ivoire, Togo, Ghana, and Burkina Faso.

That also means that the UK is officially OUT of the European Union. Many in Scotland are drinking their IrnBru and pondering how they can get back in either through independence from the UK or other means. Depending on how badly things go across the Irish Sea, North Ireland may be choosing an alternate path away from the UK as well.

Let no one tell you the New Year doesn’t bring new things!

One of the traditions I have is to wish certain things for my friends in the new year. They are different from resolutions in that I am basically coming up with good things to happen to them instead of them coming up with goals for themselves.

As an example, I previously wished for one of my buddies to finally break up with his girlfriend because they were obviously wrong for each other. Two kids and years of marriage later, I stand by my assessment.

In that spirit, please see below the New Year’s wishes I have for a selected group of you:

King Hippo

I wish that a pharmaceutical truck breaks down in front of your house and the sexy bare-shouldered female driver knocks on your door looking for assistance

Redshirt

I wish that you could find another team to root for as the Bengals are not deserving of your fandom. Just don’t pick the Jets.

Just Stop Dude

I wish that the Browns would stop Browning every time they have a chance to not Brown.

Yeah Right

I wish that the Fremantle Dockers would make the Eight so that you wouldn’t have to rely on the Vikings to have a team in the playoffs. I also wish for you to have safe walks east of Gaffey.

Rikki Tikki Deadly

Te deseo lo mejor en el nuevo año y espero que sigas aprendiendo el español para que podamos platicar en español uno de estos días .

Don T

I wish that you would meet a sexy passionate single Latina that is also san… I’m sorry I can’t even finish that sentence. Talk about wishing for impossible things…

I wish that you find a fulfilling and satisfying job in your field and that you continue to perform well in your side gig here at DFO providing us with quality pics of scantily-clad females with either daddy issues or drug problems.

Horatio

I wish that you can take some butchering classes so that your neighbor’s wandering cows can “disappear” and we can all enjoy Horatio steaks by mail order.

Scotchnaut

I wish that the authorities be always one step behind our favourite Northern Ontario hobo enthusiast. I’d add the Horatio butchering classes, but I have a feeling you don’t need them.

Gumbygirl

I wish you and Gumby a safe and fun time in the next few weeks as you watch the stupid valley-dwellers park their cars in the ditches trying to maneuver around the mountain roads.

Doktor Zymm

I wish you a happy return to your travels and secret agent activities. May the wines be sparkling, the cheeses soft, and the missions successful and uneventful.

BeerGuyRob

I wish you a speedy and healthy recovery from your shoulder surgery. Just take it easy on the penis when you are able to get the full range of motion, ok?

Litre_cola

I wish that the Puebla jersey I sent you that ended up in Sydney would actually make its way back to either you or me.

BFC

I wish that you didn’t have to work so hard that you ended up becoming the new Thread Ender after Moose left.

Moose

I wish that you are doing well and enjoying the many Wonder Woman gifs and pics.

bk109

I wish that Santa got you a new tank or tank accessory for Christmas. It’s really a shame your team is Arsenal…

Brick Meathook

I wish your gigantic cock wouldn’t get in the way of shooting a new Freeways of LA video. Video idea: Freeways of LA with Porn Stars. Think about it. Have your people call my people.

rockingdog

I wish for you to find many funnies in the new year and that you continue to share them with us. I love those.

Dunstan

I wish that the neighborhood walks with open containers do not stop for you once the pandemic is under control.

SonOfSpam

I wish I was one quarter of the funny that you are. The best to you and your family!

DTZM

I wish that WordPress would stop doing automatic stupid updates that break the site and that you then have to fix. Thank you for all your hard work!

Sharkbait

I wish that your new house has enough room for a bar and that it’s always well-stocked.

JJFozz

I wish that everyone in your former place of employment catches AIDS/COVID/and syphillis.

The rest of the Canada contingent: GameTime Decision, Wakezilla, and probably more that have not identified themselves as Canadian for fear of being hit up by filthy Americans for places to live

I wish I could live in your beautiful peaceful country, eat ketchup chips, donuts, and poutine all day, and not freeze my Mexican ass off. Seriously, thank you to Canada for making this site as great as it is. Your contributions to the site are not unnoticed.

Portland contingent: Unsurprised, Big Black Richard, Old School Zero, etc

I wish that the smell of patchouli does not stick to your clothes like the tear gas thrown around in your downtown area. Stay strong and clean and safe!

Musical contingent: The Maestro and Senor Weaselo

I wish that your works are discovered by the right people and you are given the opportunities you rightly deserve. Oh, and I wish that the government would make undestructible material out of whatever is inside Weaselo’s asshole.

The occasional commentists: LemonJello, JerBear, monty this seems strange, Mr. Ayo, JimU, theRevanchist, and others I can’t remember right now.

I wish that your schedules would give you more time to comment. Y’all bring the funny and it’s always a pleasure to see your comments.

The lurkers

I wish that you would take the leap and comment on the site. We don’t bite and we welcome new voices!

Finally, I couldn’t close out the year without one wish for tWBS:

I wish that you are finding hot service industry workers that will treat you right wherever you may be. You’re gone, but not forgotten.

I apologize if I missed anyone, but I’m scrambling to write this before it’s time to post. A raise of the glass and a tip of the hat to all of you in the DFO family.

Thank you very much for being here. I wish for all of us to have a happy and fulfilling 2021!