As this post goes live, the New Year will be starting in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Portugal, Senegal, Liberia, Sierra Leone, THE Gambia, Guinea-Bissau, Guinea, Mauritania, Côte D’Ivoire, Togo, Ghana, and Burkina Faso.
That also means that the UK is officially OUT of the European Union. Many in Scotland are drinking their IrnBru and pondering how they can get back in either through independence from the UK or other means. Depending on how badly things go across the Irish Sea, North Ireland may be choosing an alternate path away from the UK as well.
Let no one tell you the New Year doesn’t bring new things!
One of the traditions I have is to wish certain things for my friends in the new year. They are different from resolutions in that I am basically coming up with good things to happen to them instead of them coming up with goals for themselves.
As an example, I previously wished for one of my buddies to finally break up with his girlfriend because they were obviously wrong for each other. Two kids and years of marriage later, I stand by my assessment.
In that spirit, please see below the New Year’s wishes I have for a selected group of you:
King Hippo
I wish that a pharmaceutical truck breaks down in front of your house and the sexy bare-shouldered female driver knocks on your door looking for assistance
Redshirt
I wish that you could find another team to root for as the Bengals are not deserving of your fandom. Just don’t pick the Jets.
Just Stop Dude
I wish that the Browns would stop Browning every time they have a chance to not Brown.
Yeah Right
I wish that the Fremantle Dockers would make the Eight so that you wouldn’t have to rely on the Vikings to have a team in the playoffs. I also wish for you to have safe walks east of Gaffey.
Rikki Tikki Deadly
Te deseo lo mejor en el nuevo año y espero que sigas aprendiendo el español para que podamos platicar en español uno de estos días .
Don T
I wish that you would meet a sexy passionate single Latina that is also san… I’m sorry I can’t even finish that sentence. Talk about wishing for impossible things…
I wish that you find a fulfilling and satisfying job in your field and that you continue to perform well in your side gig here at DFO providing us with quality pics of scantily-clad females with either daddy issues or drug problems.
Horatio
I wish that you can take some butchering classes so that your neighbor’s wandering cows can “disappear” and we can all enjoy Horatio steaks by mail order.
Scotchnaut
I wish that the authorities be always one step behind our favourite Northern Ontario hobo enthusiast. I’d add the Horatio butchering classes, but I have a feeling you don’t need them.
Gumbygirl
I wish you and Gumby a safe and fun time in the next few weeks as you watch the stupid valley-dwellers park their cars in the ditches trying to maneuver around the mountain roads.
Doktor Zymm
I wish you a happy return to your travels and secret agent activities. May the wines be sparkling, the cheeses soft, and the missions successful and uneventful.
BeerGuyRob
I wish you a speedy and healthy recovery from your shoulder surgery. Just take it easy on the penis when you are able to get the full range of motion, ok?
Litre_cola
I wish that the Puebla jersey I sent you that ended up in Sydney would actually make its way back to either you or me.
BFC
I wish that you didn’t have to work so hard that you ended up becoming the new Thread Ender after Moose left.
Moose
I wish that you are doing well and enjoying the many Wonder Woman gifs and pics.
bk109
I wish that Santa got you a new tank or tank accessory for Christmas. It’s really a shame your team is Arsenal…
Brick Meathook
I wish your gigantic cock wouldn’t get in the way of shooting a new Freeways of LA video. Video idea: Freeways of LA with Porn Stars. Think about it. Have your people call my people.
rockingdog
I wish for you to find many funnies in the new year and that you continue to share them with us. I love those.
Dunstan
I wish that the neighborhood walks with open containers do not stop for you once the pandemic is under control.
SonOfSpam
I wish I was one quarter of the funny that you are. The best to you and your family!
DTZM
I wish that WordPress would stop doing automatic stupid updates that break the site and that you then have to fix. Thank you for all your hard work!
Sharkbait
I wish that your new house has enough room for a bar and that it’s always well-stocked.
JJFozz
I wish that everyone in your former place of employment catches AIDS/COVID/and syphillis.
The rest of the Canada contingent: GameTime Decision, Wakezilla, and probably more that have not identified themselves as Canadian for fear of being hit up by filthy Americans for places to live
I wish I could live in your beautiful peaceful country, eat ketchup chips, donuts, and poutine all day, and not freeze my Mexican ass off. Seriously, thank you to Canada for making this site as great as it is. Your contributions to the site are not unnoticed.
Portland contingent: Unsurprised, Big Black Richard, Old School Zero, etc
I wish that the smell of patchouli does not stick to your clothes like the tear gas thrown around in your downtown area. Stay strong and clean and safe!
Musical contingent: The Maestro and Senor Weaselo
I wish that your works are discovered by the right people and you are given the opportunities you rightly deserve. Oh, and I wish that the government would make undestructible material out of whatever is inside Weaselo’s asshole.
The occasional commentists: LemonJello, JerBear, monty this seems strange, Mr. Ayo, JimU, theRevanchist, and others I can’t remember right now.
I wish that your schedules would give you more time to comment. Y’all bring the funny and it’s always a pleasure to see your comments.
The lurkers
I wish that you would take the leap and comment on the site. We don’t bite and we welcome new voices!
Finally, I couldn’t close out the year without one wish for tWBS:
I wish that you are finding hot service industry workers that will treat you right wherever you may be. You’re gone, but not forgotten.
I apologize if I missed anyone, but I’m scrambling to write this before it’s time to post. A raise of the glass and a tip of the hat to all of you in the DFO family.
Thank you very much for being here. I wish for all of us to have a happy and fulfilling 2021!
I know 2020 was a truly shitty year but i did become debt free this year.
/makes sense am going to die now
I was told he who dies with the most debt wins?
To dance with the one you love tonight…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMjDc8MJotU&ab_channel=Ifcabob
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6xNft9MutQ
TITTY CAMERAS
what channel?
That’s classified
“You get up to a certain rank in the US military and you just kinda assume they’ve shoved a camera up your dink-hole”
Lotta rain earlier, which I hoped would have lasted a bit later and kept a damper on the fireworks tonight. Cleared up by sunset, and I have heard a bit, but not too bad yet. Fingers crossed.
My best discovery this year has been the Olympic Channel.
All this winter I can watch the World Cup contests for bobsledding, biathlon, anything involving skis and hills.
There will be curling this winter! They’re setting up a bubble in Calgary.
As I understand the DFO Bylaws, this means that BC Dick is required to provide another round of Hot Curling Women photos.
That’s not…ah, fuck it, that’ll do for now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCWSSTQb3qw&ab
Their music just keeps getting better and better. And I’d kill anyone for the lithe brunette.
You’d kill anyone for a lithe brunette, who are you kidding?
The Big One would kill me with those legs.
This is probably true in 90+% of cases, but one must guard against Rikki’s “monkey’s paw” scenarios.
I had this pin and wore it unironically over 35 years ago.
A League Of Their Own is the best baseball movie, and that’s a hill I will die on.
I’m due for a rewatch of that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDkk2OIwIBg&ab
Might be my favorite scene in movies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndL7y0MIRE4
You know, I will give you #3 for that, ahead of The Natural.
1) Eight Men Out
2) Long Gone
/only fighting words for me is praise for Bull Durham
Hippo says he lives in Raleigh, but hates Bull Durham?
Yes, because the “Durham” pictured is waaaayyyyyy the fuck away from the reality, past or present.
I also hate that Mayberry show.
For the first time ever, I am wondering if you have taken too many pills.
No such thing, but yes he is wrong.
I like Bull Durham, (it may be Costner’s best movie, which is a low goddamn bar), but it’s not League of Their Own.
The Natural is a well-shot and well-acted film, but it’s just so damn nonsensical that I can’t take it seriously.
True enough.
I never got into The Natural. I don’t know why. Probably jealousy over Redford’s rugged good looks.
The nonsense factor is MOAR noticeable as an adult, but was a family classic. And why little brother always wore #9 as a player.
I like it more than you do, but not more than the two Costners.
Two? There’s Bull Durham, Field of Dreams, and For the Love of the Game (which I’ve never seen)
Bull Durham – shit
Field of Dreams – mawpish, but OK for Costner
For the Love of the Game – watery shit
It’s so, so, so bad. Just one cliche after the other, until the ending you saw coming an hour ago runs into you with all the subtlety of a freight train.
yep, though that is pretty much every Costner film
But Kelly Preston’s purty.
Yeah, I recall it getting shitty reviews, which is why I have never bothered to seek it out. But if it shows up on streaming some night, I’ll pop a bottle and mock it.
“Well technically there’s no rule that says a woman can’t play baseball…”
After Major League, sure.
Other good baseball movies of note:
Major League (and I guess 2)
Everybody Wants Some! (sort of qualifies)
I enjoyed EWS on a plane (remember traveling?) which was a pretty good milieu for that film.
It doesn’t quite measure up to Dazed and Confused, but that’s a tall order. Still a great fun film with an excellent soundtrack. And it does walk that line of “these guys are kind of assholes, but they’re MY group of assholes”
I have yet to see EWS, but loved Dazed & Confused
Sorry. I can’t get past the sister pitcher being screwed over constantly in the movie and the ambiguous ending of whether the Mary Sue catcher dropped the ball.
LOL
https://www.reddit.com/r/nflmemes/comments/ko0rvp/i_feel_bad_for_you_browns_fans/
NAILED IT??
Decided fuck it, why do I keep sparkling wine around if I’m not opening it tonight.
Tiiiiny bubbles….
We’re thinking the same thing but waiting until dinner.
And a-one, and a-two….
Season 9 of Letterkenney is out? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME!?
Sooner or later…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bM0wVjU2-k&ab_channel=DocSavage
We’re zooming with my family while they belatedly open gifts, and the gin is helping.
It always does.
Glen Moray makes a decent inexpensive single malt Scotch. I’m enjoying their sherry cask finish now.
One of my favorite cheap scotches is Isle of Skye 8. It’s like $25 and is mainly talisker.
Glenmorangie 10 is (or used to be) the best selling single malt within Scotland, and I find you can usually catch it on sale in the U.S. around $35.
Really all of RTJ4 is bueno
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2t_OTidZTo&ab
If I drink enough Gin it will kill anything inside me right?
That is correct, sir. You know it’s working when your body expels the toxins orally.
I would assume Hope is already dead, so yeah, gin will take care of everything else.
Gin is just juniper flavored vodka! No one denies this!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNYK8lwyEOo&ab
Weird seeing Times Square empty.
Here’s a song about New Year’s Eve from The Lumineers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLPsZT2ZAgE
Part of a concept album with 9 other songs and this one is pretty much as good as it gets for anyone involved. Perfect for 2020.
gonna add this to my
ROCKING NEWYEARS EVE JAMS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UAN2Qd81OA&ab
French onion soup should be a good project for me tonight while I drink.
Aw man, I am stuffed, I think I’m done eating for the year. Lots of risotto and cake left over for next year though!
Did Moose really leave?
I’m starting to wonder if he was ever really here.
Here is an homage to Moose
Have you heard the legend of Otto Man?
Put him on the list.
/Writes ‘Moose’ underneath Andy Kaufman, Bill Walsh
I hope Balls meets a buxom young lass who is as passionate about Mexican soccer as she is about anal.
Unless he’s spoken for, then I guess I just hope his favorite sporting teams do well in all of their endeavors. And, of course, Sponch!
Thanks to the Baby Jesus, she is!
Whether or not I decide to take the next month off drinking, tonight is this month, and with that…
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Buddy Sprinkles Saves The Day, a great can and a better beer.
thats ROCKING
Oh, shit! I think I found the real Buddy Sprinkles!
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I was always more of an Annie Sprinkles type of guy.
Whenever I drink this I think of our own Buddy Cole, and I shudder.
found a funny:
why be popular when you can be reluctantly tolerated
What in the devil’s name is this crap on my television?
Is it Dr. Who? I bet it’s Dr. Who.
Wait a minute. Doctor Who or Dr. Who?
Swamp People is not high art but its cheap to produce.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sff7Kc77QAY&ab
What a year! Can’t believe I made the cut.
Happy New Years [DFO].
Just be happy it’s not a Horatio or Scotchnaut cut.
Going to post some of my favorite music that came out in 2020.
Balls, you are the nicest, most welcoming person I’ve ever imaginarily known!
Happy New Year to all you DFOers.
What’s everyone drinking tonight?
I have Vodka and Hendricks gin. No beer.
Just trying to decide now. I’ve got a bottle of sparkling wine, but not sure I want to make that much of a commitment. Might just have some whiskey and then switch to red wine.
Already enjoyed my bottle of Bollingers, now killing a mediocre Pinot I had open. Not sure after this.
I have a bottle of red wine I may open. Plenty of weed. Pizza and salad, cheesecake for dessert
Just made myself one of sharky’s cocktails, the First Class. I think I should have gone heavier on both the lime juice and the sage.
You inspired me — I had some sage handy, so I made a version of it using lemon juice. It’s a good starter drink
Freezer Vodka. With a splash of water.
Beer. Followed by beer.
Everything. Different thing: I was gifted a bottle of prosecco, so just opened it. Will pour on top of the liquid potpourri of rum, scotch, and cabernet that I have been laboring away at all day.
I have an assortment of beers and there will be an appearance by Basil Hayden at some point.
So am in quarantine pending my results. Shit head brother introduced it.
Makes sense, I’ll die and the Cowboys will go on some epic playoff run and win the SuperB Owl.
It’s like 3+ weeks from infection to death, so you’ll be able to catch the divisional round at least
So, a 50/50 chance to watch Dallas beat A Aron before I die.
You could live many more years but your chances of watching Dallas beat A A Ron will never approach 50/50.
Eh, let him dream, he’s a dead man walking. Just kidding, Spur, you’ll be fine!
The West Wing – Noël – Down in a Hole – YouTube
Now I’m not offering you a job in the Hellmuth where I work, but I’ve got COVID, so I know what to do.
Prep-Work (if you live by yourself, you can ignore the mask tips; if you live it others, it may help to limit the severity of the illness):
Get bottles of water and get hydrated. Don’t drink too much or you’ll get Water Intoxication and die and that would be counter-productive. Just enough to where you hydrated, so your immune system is fighting at peak efficiency.
Get Flonase, even if you don’t have allergies. It will help you in case you do get symptoms.
If you symptom free, get Vicks Immunity ZZZs or absent that, Elderberry. That will build up your immune system in case you get it.
Get soup, dinners and snacks. Plan for something easily prepared in case you feel like shit and want to die.
If you live with other people, wear a mask in communal areas, even if no one is there.
Wear a mask in the bathroom, even when you shower. Avoid the water on the mask, you will waterboard yourself and that will be counter-productive.
Get disposable plastic cups to clean your face, brush your teeth and shave in your room.
If you do get symptoms or test positive:
Forget the mask. It failed, but hopefully it limited exposure so its not too bad.
Quit the ZZZs and move on to Cold/Flu medicine. Mucinex or DayQuil/NyQuil will work. The trick is to keep the symptoms treated so they don’t get worse and attack the lungs.
And most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough.
Beat this bitch! Then after you’re finished with your brother, beat the virus too!
found some ROCKIN
movies here….
https://www3.f2movies.to/
Scottish New Year, eh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBYVmnMFMtA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Al7ONqrdscY
My dad had/has strange music impulses. He loved to listen on the headphones to “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer” by George Thorogood, “The Last Farewell” by Roger Whitaker, and this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=LtAwmcrWbC4
Evening Folks
Dammit! I forgot about our Vegas contingent and Viva! I wish you all have a great new year and the Vegas locals specials never stop.
To Viva, I wish the USAF doesn’t take it out on you for my continual references to anal sex.
Nah, that’s more of a Navy thing….
Happy new year to all!
Much love, Ballsy.
It’s quiet in the easternmost parts of Queens (the Dominican place we were about to order from closed at 7!) and I’m hoping it’s not a total shitshow when I go to Senorita Weaselo’s in Brooklyn… in like 5 minutes.
Mike Leach may have talked himself into a suspension with his comments about the brawl. Then-UC coach Mick Cronin reacted after the 2011 Crosstown Shootout brawl set the standard for how a coach is supposed to react. Leach set the opposite standard.
Per Wiki entry (corroborated by other sources): UC coach Mick Cronin, angry at how his players behaved, ordered them to take off their jerseys in the locker room, and in some cases physically took them off.
“This is a football game so we’re not going to be tearing cloth over this deal; somebody went to a football game and somebody got hit,” Leach said.
Compared to the Armed Forces Bowl, the Crosstown Punch-Out was a simple charging foul.
[12.10.11] Xavier Vs Cincinnati Brawl & Postgame Comments – YouTube
Gotta say though, I agree more with Leach
Damn it, Balls. Is too late at night for a respectable-pretending WASP to masturbate! In my dreams, this fine gal will also have the lowest of sexual expectations. And a dark sense of humoUr.
And I will try to be less mean about your Stillers in January.
Now, just waiting for the dryer to finish so I can go the fuck to sleep. White noise already on to keep the firecrackers from annoying the cats.
Happy New Year to all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOG7zIsleNc&ab_channel=KCRW
This is the most thoughtful holiday card I’ve seen this year. Nicely done, balls.
This is the nicest New Years Post there could possibly be 🙂
Balls, for you I wish that the AFL changes their schedule to suit your ideal viewing times so you don’t have to be awake at absurd hours to watch live! I’ll let someone else wish you amazing anal 😛
Great minds
I love you the best, Balls! ( I say that to all the boys!)
Speaking of lowlanders, the rental house next door currently has 5 cars and 14 people that we can see. There are probably more people inside. There are signs all over town that say one family/ 2 cars max at all rentals right now, $1000 fine and immediate eviction, no exceptions. Fucking idiot tourists. I’m no narc, but I hope the popo is actually driving around checking on this shit.
So stupid… I hope they didn’t bring fireworks with them.
It’s not dark yet, but I bet they did.
If you have a good stereo system, now is the time to attack!
I could blast Big Bear radio, 93.3 on your fm dial, but they mostly play elevator music, so not very menacing.
Dude, if you go with NPR, big props
Blue Danube as the cops come in and wreck their shit!
It’s crowded out there! I just walked over to pick up my NYE meal, and while it’s probably mostly booze traffic (spotted some long lines and full parking lots) some of those folks are probably headed to unwise gatherings. Amazed people don’t know better by now (although who knows, apparently there was a hot party circuit for people who tested positive in the UK over the summer)
HNY, GG. For some reason, I was reminiscing today about hurling stolen Lucky’s shopping carts for the spark show from my buddy Paul’s F-150 along Hwy 38 (Lugonia Ave) through the groves that led towards Mentone and into the SB NForest as a teenager 45 years ago, and realized that you have probably been on that road more than I ever was, since it leads to BBL. But I bet it’s surrounded by houses and not orange groves these days.
It is, pretty much,, but there is still one big grove. We take that road all the time, the Trader Joe’s we go to is on Orange Ave. You should see all the Trump signs in Mentone, it’s sad. I love the gravel beach, there are always people hanging out by the banks of the mighty Santa Ana river!
I lived at 1333 E. Colton (@Judson) in Redlands, one block east of University of Redlands. Looks like the house is still there on the Google maps, but all the orange groves we hung out and raised hell in have been replaced by subdivisions.
As for this New Year’s Eve, the most likely outcome for me is falling asleep in the bathtub while reading Raymond Chandler’s “Playback”.
/is currently running the water
/Quietly hides the blood thinners and pointed objects
Got yourself an inflatable neck pillow?
As far as The Rest of Canada Contingent is concerned-
Hippofant, you’re one helluva smartypants* and I hope you find the time to waste time here in 2021.
*in the best possible sense of the word
Its appropriate that the next year is going to be ’21, because after the year we’ve all had, we’re gonna need a drink.
> Te deseo lo mejor en el nuevo año y espero que sigas aprendiendo el español para que podamos platicar en español uno de estos días .
RIKKI’S ATTEMPTED TRANSLATION: I wish you a better new year and hope that you continue learning spanish so we can hang out speaking Spanish sometime this year.
[checks Google translate]
Hey, not bad!
Nicely done!
I understood two of those words. They were the same word, but it counts!
That was a hell of a way to end 2020. Bravo! While I will still continue to be a Bengals fan, as that fangasm if they do win a playoff game or a Super Bowl will be felt by everyone here, I will choose a 2nd team to follow.
Since I am the Bad Luck Fan, I will now start the Opening Bid at $25 for me not to pick you favorite team or to pick a team you hate.
That was fucking outstanding, Balls! Much love headed your way.
LIBERTY BOWL CHAMPIONS
WVU OFFICIALLY HAETS TEH TROOPZ
Surprisingly WVU and the Army didn’t have a brawl. I would’ve love to seen how Army would do and see my taxdollars at work.
NEVER FORGET! REMATCH!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Blair_Mountain
How in the hell can you have a three-way battle?!
Dear Penthouse Armed Combat Forum:
I never thought this would happen to me, but….
Happy new Swedish and Irish New Year to ya too, balls! May 2021 is more epic than your wildest (good, not kinky… for kinky contact litre) wishes.
And to all fellow DFOers – hang tough lads and lasses, 2020 is almost over for you too. Also happy and safe New Years’ celebration an’ cheers to a better 2021.