As this post goes live, the New Year will be starting in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Portugal, Senegal, Liberia, Sierra Leone, THE Gambia, Guinea-Bissau, Guinea, Mauritania, Côte D’Ivoire, Togo, Ghana, and Burkina Faso.
That also means that the UK is officially OUT of the European Union. Many in Scotland are drinking their IrnBru and pondering how they can get back in either through independence from the UK or other means. Depending on how badly things go across the Irish Sea, North Ireland may be choosing an alternate path away from the UK as well.
Let no one tell you the New Year doesn’t bring new things!
One of the traditions I have is to wish certain things for my friends in the new year. They are different from resolutions in that I am basically coming up with good things to happen to them instead of them coming up with goals for themselves.
As an example, I previously wished for one of my buddies to finally break up with his girlfriend because they were obviously wrong for each other. Two kids and years of marriage later, I stand by my assessment.
In that spirit, please see below the New Year’s wishes I have for a selected group of you:
King Hippo
I wish that a pharmaceutical truck breaks down in front of your house and the sexy bare-shouldered female driver knocks on your door looking for assistance
Redshirt
I wish that you could find another team to root for as the Bengals are not deserving of your fandom. Just don’t pick the Jets.
Just Stop Dude
I wish that the Browns would stop Browning every time they have a chance to not Brown.
Yeah Right
I wish that the Fremantle Dockers would make the Eight so that you wouldn’t have to rely on the Vikings to have a team in the playoffs. I also wish for you to have safe walks east of Gaffey.
Rikki Tikki Deadly
Te deseo lo mejor en el nuevo año y espero que sigas aprendiendo el español para que podamos platicar en español uno de estos días .
Don T
I wish that you would meet a sexy passionate single Latina that is also san… I’m sorry I can’t even finish that sentence. Talk about wishing for impossible things…
I wish that you find a fulfilling and satisfying job in your field and that you continue to perform well in your side gig here at DFO providing us with quality pics of scantily-clad females with either daddy issues or drug problems.
Horatio
I wish that you can take some butchering classes so that your neighbor’s wandering cows can “disappear” and we can all enjoy Horatio steaks by mail order.
Scotchnaut
I wish that the authorities be always one step behind our favourite Northern Ontario hobo enthusiast. I’d add the Horatio butchering classes, but I have a feeling you don’t need them.
Gumbygirl
I wish you and Gumby a safe and fun time in the next few weeks as you watch the stupid valley-dwellers park their cars in the ditches trying to maneuver around the mountain roads.
Doktor Zymm
I wish you a happy return to your travels and secret agent activities. May the wines be sparkling, the cheeses soft, and the missions successful and uneventful.
BeerGuyRob
I wish you a speedy and healthy recovery from your shoulder surgery. Just take it easy on the penis when you are able to get the full range of motion, ok?
Litre_cola
I wish that the Puebla jersey I sent you that ended up in Sydney would actually make its way back to either you or me.
BFC
I wish that you didn’t have to work so hard that you ended up becoming the new Thread Ender after Moose left.
Moose
I wish that you are doing well and enjoying the many Wonder Woman gifs and pics.
bk109
I wish that Santa got you a new tank or tank accessory for Christmas. It’s really a shame your team is Arsenal…
Brick Meathook
I wish your gigantic cock wouldn’t get in the way of shooting a new Freeways of LA video. Video idea: Freeways of LA with Porn Stars. Think about it. Have your people call my people.
rockingdog
I wish for you to find many funnies in the new year and that you continue to share them with us. I love those.
Dunstan
I wish that the neighborhood walks with open containers do not stop for you once the pandemic is under control.
SonOfSpam
I wish I was one quarter of the funny that you are. The best to you and your family!
DTZM
I wish that WordPress would stop doing automatic stupid updates that break the site and that you then have to fix. Thank you for all your hard work!
Sharkbait
I wish that your new house has enough room for a bar and that it’s always well-stocked.
JJFozz
I wish that everyone in your former place of employment catches AIDS/COVID/and syphillis.
The rest of the Canada contingent: GameTime Decision, Wakezilla, and probably more that have not identified themselves as Canadian for fear of being hit up by filthy Americans for places to live
I wish I could live in your beautiful peaceful country, eat ketchup chips, donuts, and poutine all day, and not freeze my Mexican ass off. Seriously, thank you to Canada for making this site as great as it is. Your contributions to the site are not unnoticed.
Portland contingent: Unsurprised, Big Black Richard, Old School Zero, etc
I wish that the smell of patchouli does not stick to your clothes like the tear gas thrown around in your downtown area. Stay strong and clean and safe!
Musical contingent: The Maestro and Senor Weaselo
I wish that your works are discovered by the right people and you are given the opportunities you rightly deserve. Oh, and I wish that the government would make undestructible material out of whatever is inside Weaselo’s asshole.
The occasional commentists: LemonJello, JerBear, monty this seems strange, Mr. Ayo, JimU, theRevanchist, and others I can’t remember right now.
I wish that your schedules would give you more time to comment. Y’all bring the funny and it’s always a pleasure to see your comments.
The lurkers
I wish that you would take the leap and comment on the site. We don’t bite and we welcome new voices!
Finally, I couldn’t close out the year without one wish for tWBS:
I wish that you are finding hot service industry workers that will treat you right wherever you may be. You’re gone, but not forgotten.
I apologize if I missed anyone, but I’m scrambling to write this before it’s time to post. A raise of the glass and a tip of the hat to all of you in the DFO family.
Thank you very much for being here. I wish for all of us to have a happy and fulfilling 2021!
Holy shit, the asshole reporter’s assistant in ‘Die Hard’ is Betty Spaghetti from ‘A League Of Their Own.’
My universe is collapsing in on itself!
Really? I never noticed.
Of all the times I’ve seen both movies this is the first time I noticed.
I feel I’ve missed something…
Yeah, there’s a definite story here that hasn’t been told.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M4_Ommfvv0&ab
This one still sucks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9r-NxuYszg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0Ujb6lJ_mM&ab
Little Richard is always appropriate!
I’ve never* wanted to go to Times Square** for NYE. I especially don’t understand the psychos going this year, of all years.
* I technically went once, when a friends sister in law snuck myself and 4 of our friends up the back stairs to a private open bar party at Dave and Busters. So I was there getting progressively drunker watching people freeze from 5 stories up.
**I actively avoid Times Square every time I go to New York
I think a friend and I put in on our “bucket lists” back in the 90s. He actually was there for NYE ’99. I’m content to leave that one unfilfilled.
I heard this year is exclusive for essential workers, so they’re probably somewhat inured to risky situations and happy to have a chance to do something a bunch of normal people want to do in a more exclusive setting
Well shit. Now I feel like an ass.
Still not gonna do it though
i went there once for an undisclosed reason
Coitus?
i wish it was coitus. be less embarrassing
Taking a shit?
nooooooope…. if you guys can guess this I’ll crack up…
Getting your pants back from a stripper/prozzie?
You lost your wallet in El Segundo and someone told you it was in Tines Square?
Only place your drug dealer would meet you?
You hijacked a bus headed for Port Authority, and just continued on the planned route?
nope nope and more nope.
dustan was closest. i was meeting someone
I can grope you and your loved ones, no charge. DM me.
Try stealing this Elvis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E68N5E1d0_M&ab
This is one of two acceptable Sally songs, speaking as a Sally.
Is this the other?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BYyPok2O5k
No, it’s Sneaking Sally Through the Alley. Lay Down Sally annoys me, and I never think of Mustang Sally.
Mustang?
Mustang Sally?
Now going to post songs from musicians that passed away this year
Oh, I forgot to mention this. Shortly after I brought a pail of cow shit over to my neighbor’s house and left it on the front step he hired two younger kids, (they’re probably 20-30, but I’m old), to round up the cattle and they’ve been fenced in, and looking quite sulky ever since.
I’d like to take full credit, but I suspect that the snowstorm that was rolling in and the resulting animal cruelty charges had more to do with it.
Boo it wont render the link properly.
https://i.imgur.com/4CT09PH.mp4
The following is intended for mature audiences only, viewer discretion is advised.
?w=1600&h=1600&q=88&f=f876a9bbdb84ed0e192958ff505490a2
Why would post something here that requires a mature audience?
Uh-oh, the Ass Crack Bandit has returned!
YES! One of the best late series Community episodes
I’ve been working through that series. It really tailed off somewhere in the 3rd season, but it does have its moments.
I’ve purchased one of those marzipan fuckers!
Well produced Pop song. Not my demo but I can appreciate. It’s like recognizing the superior Tiger tanks to the Shermans.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AyMjyHu1bA&ab
Am sweating now, hoping its from the Gin.
Could have been the whiskey. Might have been the gin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-KDSxqJ_0o
for anyone interested: the 2020 invisible man movie is better than it has any right to be
What did Pete Campbell do now?
Not get mauled by a bear
If that plane door at opened it, only for a bear to come out and maul Pete, it would have been the best series ending ever.
I was hoping Trudy would kill him with the rifle he exchanged a bridal gift for.
You leave Zoey Bartlet alone, you invisible asshole!
me: pops i don’t think I’m gonna make it till midnight
dad snores
me: chip of the old block aye
Andy Cohen and Anderson Copper are drinking tequila on CNN. Kathy Griffin was a better host. She did whatever she wanted to try to make Anderson laugh.
If I wanted to see a couple of queers get shitfaced and make horrible comments I’d get Buddy Cole in here and buy him a couple of rounds.
And I very much do. Goddammit Buddy, get in here! First three rounds are on me.
This is where I ask a dumb question that all other DFOers know the answer to: Buddy is somebody’s sock puppet account, right? But is it one person, or shared? And will I be murdered if I learn the secret?
That, like how Bender’s cigar set things on fire, is a very good question. I can confirm it’s not me.
I hope whenever DFOCon East is he can come. I think we all want to know.
Accurate.
To the best of my limited knowledge Buddy is a real person and an independent account. And he is fucking hilarious.
That’s amazing. He drops by so infrequently, I just assumed.
I’m just guessing, I’m not an admin. But he’s been around forever, and always as an infrequent but always welcome drop-in. I think he goes back to KSK, but I’m not sure.
This jibes with my memory, such as it is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEyYlyRr2_U&ab
What does everyone prefer/use. Zoom, Teams, WebEx, Blue Jeans, etc?
Prefer Teams but need to use WebEx for DoD contacts.
Fucking none of the above. VC is the worst parts of the phone, plus the worst parts of in-person, plus some unique awful
I’ve mostly used Zoom but occasionally WebEx. Don’t really have any opinions (for once). I think video conferencing is ok for small groups, but past a certain number it’s really tedious.
I’ve had to use Zoom for TAing stuff. For private lessons it’s been a combination of Zoom, Skype, and FaceTime. The audio sucks and most of the time I can’t get a great angle of the student playing their instrument.
Google meet for work, and I don’t necessarily trust Zoom’s security as far as I can throw it
I’ve used Zoom and Teams for work because I’ve had to. They’re fine, I suppose, but we just do basic meetings and that’s it. They’re both a pain in the ass for large groups.
I prefer Teams to Zoom, but I’ve used both with decent results.
They all suuuuuuuuuuck
But if I had to I would pick Webex
Thank you all. Research project done for Q1. I can flesh this out while I quarantine and unload when needed. You better believe am taking the 10 days to “be safe” from the results day.
Happy New Year to my favourite internet friends.
Ok, but what about me?
Where do you live? Nova Scotia?
Just outside of tronna, the 6, toe-ron-toe. But drinking so may not remember later
And only Newfoundland is 30 minutes ahead.
This is one of my favorite sequences in movie history. From Used Cars (1980):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqHZWdFVyyQ
This album didnt make any best of lists. This album and ThunderCat will be remembered as a decade best
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvZpn322LxE&ab
Listening to one of my many 80s-centric Pandora stations, and I just wanted to declare that Joe Jackson is highly underrated. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Stepping out is pure ear worm. Gets stuck in my head every damn time I hear it.
Sunday Papers, Breaking Us In Two…
he’s another of those guys who I’m constantly having to be reminded had a deeper catalogue than I remember
‘I’m The Man’ is an all-timer.
https://gfycat.com/astonishingembellishedadmiralbutterfly
Well, time for me to enjoy my last good food, before I start my New Years Diet.
Pizza rolls and chicken wings.
Your New Year’s Diet is pizza rolls and chicken wings? Awesome!
If I could figure out how to lose weight that way that doesn’t involve me running for five hours, I would so do it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoC-l5-y8Eo&ab
Beer #3 – Head Full of Dynamite v.25 Hazy IPA from Fremont Brewery. 3rd different hazy IPA for me, and they’ve all been terrific. And another great can (-Balls, looking through butts.org)!
Only an hour and twenty minutes left in this god forsaken year.
Lucky. Some of us gotta wait it out.
Letterkenney is just Canadian propaganda, there’s no way those little, one bar towns up in the swampy Ontarian northlands are anywhere near as awesome as we’re being led to expect
Well, you want to be careful about wandering around outside by yourself, if you catch my meaning.
Yet you want to go to MoD3ans and are on S9
I never said it was bad or ineffective propaganda!
Last night I watched ‘Operation Odessa’ on Netflix, about Miami mobsters buying a submarine from Russia for the Cali Cartel.
It’s a fucking documentary! I mention this because I said something was weird down below and, well, it doesn’t get much weirder than Miami mobsters buying a Russian sub for the Cali Cartel. Also it was entertaining and moved right along.
YES! Pitbull is in Times Square with no mask. There is hope something good can still happen this year
incubation period is like 3 days at least
Loved the return of the Avalanches
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxC0nhAKwXs&ab
I concur with Katy. Dating sucks
the pandemic has been a great excuse to my parents as to why I haven’t met anybody
Great excuse for me to not even visit my parents.
Is anyone here actively trying to date? I’m not likely to start trying, but I’m always curious about the state of the dating apps.
Am sure some serial killers have that get and go attitude. When Dog tells you get out there, you do it.
I would, but my wife is being a real pain in the ass about it.
Speaking of swinging, I may have said this before, but I will never not be amazed that Barack Obama might never have become president if it weren’t for the fact that Jack Ryan got bored of fucking Jeri Ryan at home by themselves….
You really think a Borg would be killer in the sack?
I know that in my case, with her, resistance would be futile. (And unlikely.)
Dates are great! They do have a lot of sugar though. And the pits are annoying sometimes. And they’re kinda sticky.
You’ve had a good date if its sticky at the end
This is a great post.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNCd_ERZvZM&ab
also, this
I’m getting a Matt Goetze vibe, too.
The empty (my load into) Nestor?
That whole situation is so fucking weird.
In that spirit, please see below the New Year’s wishes I have for a selected group of you:
Me: uh huh, thats nice, lets see what my old friend said for me…..
scrolling
scrolling
scrolling
scrolling
………….still scrolling
huh.
I’m joking of course. pulling two dozen names off the top of your head is a pain. its been a long year. I’m ready for it to be over
A toast for the Forgotten!
I wish I was able to find such high quality pics like the ones you post. My penis thanks you tremendously.
Brocky, if it’ll make you feel better, at my bachelor party I was talking to a college friend as the night was winding down. As we’re getting ready to leave I say something to the effect of “I’ll see you next week at the wedding” and he says “No, we weren’t invited”
He and his wife are two of our favoUrite people and in all the wedding crap my wife and I had assumed that the other had invited them and just…fucked it up.
That was more than 25 years ago and, while they’re still dear friend, I feel terrible about it.
I guess what I’m saying is that you should prepare to nurse this grudge against Balls for the rest of your life. And also don’t get married; the preparation is just a huge pain in the ass.
+1 for the last sentence.
(Marriage is fine in moderation, but weddings should be outlawed)
i know, I’m just busting ball’s…… erm balls?
I still feel bad for “making” beast mode write a special chapter “hard ride to nowhere” cuz i missed the draft party.
as for wedding invitations, my dad once refused to go to a wedding because of the formal invitation process.
it was my brother’s second marriage, and it was just gonna be held on someone’s property, little more than a backyard wedding. my dad (who is my brother’s ex stepdad) was so put off by my brother relying of “word of mouth” for the wedding that he made it clear he wasn’t go to the effort to attend.
Man, people get weird about weddings. Like, people who ordinary don’t give a shit about etiquette suddenly have major OPINIONS about all sorts of minutiae.
…I’m waiting or the part where you said “Show up anyway.”
Oh I absolutely did, but they did not.
I suspect that they were quite rightly a little miffed about it.
most of my friends have had experience where they got left off invite lists because families, who are usually paying for the wedding, insist on inviting distant relatives who won’t show
Hopefully you get both hand and blow, and Skol to you too.
Rim, for a bonus.
Die Hard 2 is the best Die Hard.
Die Hard: With a Vengeance is the superior sequel
I love them all so much, but damnit when they head out to the Antenna Array just to end up losing a squad on the moving walkway, McClain needing to Home Alone his way around the terminal with a gun, and see the array blow up in their faces… That’s dying HARD.
Trying to find the better of Die Hard sequel (except for the last one) would be splitting hairs. We could have different lists and still be right.
Die Hard 2 showed McClain is both a badass AND a good detective. It wasn’t like Die Hard where he was caught up in it. He figured out what they were doing and stopped them.
Die Hard 3 showed both the flaws of the character (divorce, suspended, two steps from being an alcoholic, er one step) but how far he could go to win. He had nothing personal in the fight. No loved one was at risk. Just fueled by determination, duty and stubbornness.
Die Hard 4 showed the reality of being an age hero. While most characters don’t age, McClain does. We see the wear and tear on him, and it shows that unlike some characters, he doesn’t want to it. He only does it because there’s no one else to do it.
I haven’t seen Die Hard 5 yet. I like the Die Hard series and I don’t want to do anything to damage it.
I lost you when you named “Die Hard 4” and “Die Hard 5”. I don’t believe those exist and nothing will change my mind.
I agree on Die Hard 5. A hypothetical Die Hard 4 would not be that bad. It would been an worthy addition to the series while not detracting from the other movies.
If Die Hard 4 existed of course.
Did they ever do “Die Hard with a Hard-On?”
Starring Rick R. Mortis.
I have a script for a Die Hard 4 at a Ski Resort that would be amazing and by “script” I mean a “napkin I wrote on when I was drunk” and by “amazing” I mean “pretty ok”.
Subscribe
Anything with Fred Thompson.
It doesn’t have Alan Rickman, therefore it is not.
That explains why I like Die Hard 3 better than Die Hard 2. Alan Rickman is technically in Die Hard 3.
SPOILER: Final boss of 2020
My 2nd beer…Cosmic Pyrokinesis Hazy IPA from Mother Earth Brewing. Another really tasty and smooth one; 6.7% and could easily drink this all night.
Also, NAWT MY PIC.
Are you on the Untappd?
Yessir
I just sent a friend request, or whatever they call it.
Feel free to reject it like I left you off the wedding list!
When the beer can tells a story does it add to the taste?
Yeah, I think so. But I been drinkin, so?
I would buy that just for the can.
And now I’ve filled out Balls’s Tindr profile.
The can is lovely in real life.
(the “post meeting” comment from Balls)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjuA_o6Jzyo&ab
“Ahh, summer girls. Summer 13, summer 14.” — Ghost of J. Epstein
“That’s no ghost!” — Lin Wood
2nd beer of the evening…
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Aw yeah.
Been making runs to the Tree House recently. None much better than that.
They’re about 40 minutes from me. Really miss hanging out there.
Did you ever get to the old Monson place?
No, I am a late comer, as I recently started to work in Mass. periodically for my company as we consolidate the NY/NE region. But it was a great revelation when I started picking up cases.
Do you like BBQ?
/there’s a point to this, I am not a creep
Theodore’s?
And yes.
OK, so in Sturbridge, about 4 miles from Treehouse, is a tiny little place called BT’s Smokehouse that probably has the best BBQ in New England. It’s usually about a 25 minute wait for your order, (only take-out now, sadly), so you can pull them up on your phone while waiting at Treehouse, (which has quite the connection wit BT’s, each loves the other), place your order, then swing in and pick it up on your way out.
Or just take my word for it and order the brisket reuben sandwich and a 1/2 rack of ribs and go from there.
Do they deliver out of country?
Asking for me
They cater, that’s probably the best I can do.
This is the sandwich
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3oZlWKHUWU&feature=emb_logo&ab
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPsah1rMB3o
Season 9 now out
Very cute when she smiles at the 14-15 second. Punisher is a good album cant wait for a bunch of cops to buy her album my mistake.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEPSMswnQI4&ab
Apparently Ryan Adams creeped on her when he was more than twice her age and I hate Ryan Adams because she’s great. Also because Ryan Adams is a major piece of shit.
I believe that. He’s known for being a creep. Makes is a little hard to like his music. Like the lead singer of the Shins has been arrested for beating his girlfriend, twice.
I did not know that, and I liked The Shins. Guess it’s time to separate the art from the artist.
Afuckinggain.
That sucks. As least it’s proof that he’s as much of a weak pussy as he looks.
I’m so tired of hearing Summer of 69. Fuck that Adams guy.
Cats are such assholes. And I say that having two that are spoiled beyond belief.
That is why they make such perfect houseguests/owners! Evil is always more interesting.
Truth, but they are awesome.
If I were in 2nd place in the biathlon I would simply shoot the guy in 1st place.
Re baseball movies, i can’t buy the natural. Glenn Close as more attractive than Kim Basinger? GTFO
Plus, who wouldn’t extra prefer a murder-y Basinger?
Better looking and she’ll end me quicker? Win win.
Alec Baldwin, for one.
deep down, he knows she’d be RIGHT to do it
RE: Glenn Close. Ask Michael Douglas how things work out when you plug yer dick into crazy.
Happy New Year to everyone! And Balls, that was kind, but you way overestimate altar boy rape jokes.
Beer #1: Pineapple Farm Hazy IPA from Coronado Bay Brewing. Delicious and pineapply. (Wife bought several single beers from Trader Joe’s and I’m gonna drink whatever’s in front of me)
That’s a weirdly small and shaped Fedex truck. And does it look like there’s a tripod set up in the far right of the frame?