We are closing out January 2021 this weekand, and nothing in the Premiership is certain.  Ole Gunnar’s Devils looked to have all the momentum…until they lost at home to (still) Ded Fookin’ Last Team Knifey midweek.  At home, no less.

Now, Pep’s City are back on top, with a game in hand to boot.  But they are still too old, and too limited offensively.  Their next downturn could be just around the bend.  And who do they play today?  Why, Team Knifey it is (10:00, NBCSN).  I wouldn’t bet on a second lightning strike, but I ain’t exactly betting the other side, neither.

Anything could still happen with the Shempions/Europa slots, too.  That’s where Everton come in, needing all three fo’ sho’ against the woefully-out-of-form Barcodes (7:30, NBCSN).  It would be very Everton, that to fuck up on the heels of a good midweek point against Leicester (which really should have been three, stinkeyes made at Jordan Pickford and Andre Gomes).  Hippo’s Toffees are in 7th position, but with TWO games in hand (albeit with a disclaimer that one of those is against City).  Wake up, and join Hippo and poor Dad Duty Litre!

Peacock offers two 10:00 window alternatives to City/Knifey (huzzah).  Fulham absolutely, positively must get all three against Fat Sam’s dire Brummies – not just for survival, but also Litre’s poor, dry-drunk nervous system.  Palace and Wolves are also a thing that will streamingly happen.  Be still my beating heart.

Spotlight Dance is a peach this week, as Angry Man United (oooooh, HAWT) invade the Clubhouse FavoUrite Gooners (12:30, NBC).  Don’t look now, but Arsenal are up to 9th position.  Not where they want to be, but Handsome Mikel looks like he’ll avoid the sack (PHRASING!), at least.

Unlike Tory Cunt Frank Lampard, ahahahhahahhahahahahahahahahaha

Chelski don’t play until Sunday, though.  Your streaming day thus ends with Villa/Soton (3:00, Peacock).  When one hates both squadrons, it is great to cheer/bet on Most Glorious Draw, as fewer overall points are alloted.  You’re welcome, America!

Perhaps there will be other ways to distract us, with no other FITBAW on the horizon.  But probably not.  Type away!