Your “Crisis? What Crisis?” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

  • Tuesday might be an ugly day in NFL head offices, as there’s no idea what to do with the franchise tag.
    • The deadline is supposed to be 4:00pm ET, but without a firm salary cap – currently estimated at $180 million – teams are hesitatnt to make decisions.
    • Something has to be done before the start of the new League year on March 17, as team & signing bonuses kick in, affecting tag decisions.
  • The Steelers have turned on a black player receiver?
    • Apparently, because according to steelers.com, Chase Claypool is “a diva”.
      • Which is funny, because JuJu Smith-Schuster was the logo dancer until he got tuned up.
        • And let’s not forget the “Browns is the Browns” comment right before their playoff game.
    • This is especially hilarious given a) their VERY diva QB; and b) JuJu is likely to test free agency.
      • It is very Steelers to watch their best option choose to leave town while bad-mouthing the guy who can’t.
  • Von Miller is not currently facing criminal charges in Colorado.
    • Which is interesting, because he was investigated for something, but we don’t know what for because the police said they aren’t pursuing it.
      • An official denial in the absence of factual reasoning should appease just about everyone.
    • You know the drill.

Oh, and the Bengals might have accidentally on-purpose leaked their new jersey online.

Honestly, it looks like a Chinese knockoff, with three shitty little stripes on the shoulders. It’s the kind of “jersey” you’d have found in a 1980s Sears catalogue.

And why do they insist on keeping the “Bengals” on the jersey when they know what we really only want to see,

The Paul Brown script is a nice touch, though. I’ll give them that.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Vegas vs Minnesota – 8:00pm | NHLN / Sportsnet
  • NCAA: nothing but conference tournament games, some with teams I don’t care to look up
    • Southern Final – 7:00pm | ESPN
    • Sun Belt Final – 7:00pm | ESPN2
    • West Coast Semifinal: Saint Mary’s vs. Gonzaga – 9:00pm | ESPN
    • Horizon Semifinal: Northern Kentucky vs. Oakland – 9:30pm | ESPN2
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00pm | USA / Sportsnet360

This week should be pretty good in terms of unpaid college kids playing sports during a pandemic, as the various conferences work their way towards “Selection Sunday”. No doubt the ACC will try and find a way to get Duke into the tournament in a more egregious way than the B1G did Ohio State into the football championship.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Don T

That Bengals jersey looks like me after a night at your mom’s. Good thing she’s a scratcher, not a biter.
Unlike your grandpa.

ballsofsteelandfury

Steelers fuck with the ones that can’t get away precisely because they can’t get away.

JuJu is as good as gone. Like Antonio Brown and Sanders and Santonio Holmes and countless other WRs before him. Steelers don’t worry about finding replacement WRs because they can always find them.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Who wouldn’t want to work with old Harf Harf?

ballsofsteelandfury

I can’t wait until they find the next Neil O’Donnell…

Viva La Tabula Raza

Or Bubby Brister.

ballsofsteelandfury

?‍♂️

Redshirt

That just makes it more painful when the Bengals still lose to the Steelers.

Losing to Ben Roethilsburger is understandable as he’ll be a Hall of Famer. But losing to Kordell Stewart or Tommy Maddox hurts worse.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Redshirt

Just a reminder that the TV Channel Comet still considers the word “retarded” a-okay in all forms.
comment image?itemid=11714167

Dunstan

“Oh boy!”

Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope it’s not a problem using that term if you are referring to dealing with your ignition timing (at least in old cars). Retarding or advancing from Top Dead Center.

herodotus450

All words that start with “Re” are hereby banned, just to piss off Dan Snyder.

Redshirt

Comet has banned all words of “black” in regards to a person, in all circumstances. Part of me applauds the move, but part of me is using the missing audio to fill in worse words for fun.

Redshirt

Does that mean I have to change my name to Profile Name?

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
bk109

Or prop plane’s engine settings (though even that’s been renamed to a PSRU, because as usual the US gets hung up on a word and not the use/context of such words)

Dunstan

Nunavit (pop. ~ 40k) gets an entry to The Brier, but they’re a little outclassed. So far they’ve lost 16-1, 15-1, and 10-2.

Just gave up six points in the first end to Kevin Koe’s rink. Yikes.

SonOfSpam

They’re worthless in all non-harpoon sports.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hee hee… poon….

Sharkbait
Redshirt

I see they erased the words “TOUGH” and “COMPETANT” from the blackboards.

Apollo 1 – Wikipedia

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[slides into Natalie Portman’s DM’s] – LeRon Landry

Viva La Tabula Raza

All y’all are in second place.
—Jean Leon Reno: The Professional

Sharkbait

Hot Taek: They knew this would blow up, and generate free advertising

scotchnaut

“Worst. Monarchy. Ever.”

-King Leopold The 2nd

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hard to flip a burger when your hand has been amputated.

BC Dick

That’s pretty funny. People just don’t like good jokes anymore.

Gumbygirl

ABC7 Los Angeles just informed me today is International Women’s Day. If I had known that, I wouldn’t have cleaned out my disgusting refrigerator this afternoon.

Last edited 3 years ago by Gumbygirl
Dunstan

“Well, at least you were in the kitchen where you belonged.” — Burger King

Sharkbait

If ever there was a time for an 80s style training montage:

https://twitter.com/Phil_Lewis_/status/1368983057479393284

litre_cola

What does the teaining for that look like? Flash cards?

Redshirt

Just quit saying it. Ever since I was born again, I quit saying “God d***” because its a sin to use the Lord’s name is vain. It didn’t take 20 months of intensive therapy to quit saying it, I just choose not to say it because, unlike this guy I GENUINELY FELT IT WAS WRONG SO I MADE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE NOT TO SAY IT!!!

If it doesn’t involve a shock collar or a midg—er—height-impaired individual punching him in nuts, then I’m not interested.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
SonOfSpam

You’re a goddamn hero.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No better way to lose support than to go on OANN and say the N word is bad

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Notice that he doesn’t say whether he’s actually succeeded.

ArmedandHammered

I just wonder how much he used the word in everyday conversation that it has taken him this long to remove it from his vocabulary.

Redshirt

Monday Night Raw – 8:00pm | USA / Sportsnet360

Nice try, Beerguyrob! You almost got me to watch WWE.

Redshirt

If Triple H and Stephanie were smart, they would have half the roster and a broadcasting team with Vince while he “airs” his version of Raw.

scotchnaut

In the Event Horizon League, #8 seed Milwaukee is up by nine on #1 seed Cleveland State. SPOILER ALERT! It might turn into a massacre.

Dunstan

Dak Prescott signs 4-year, $160M deal

Dunstan

$126M of that guaranteed

Sharkbait

Thats a lot of ham

scotchnaut

“I had no idea he was deaf. smgdh”

-Marlee Matlin

Redshirt

Since he signed for 4-years with most of it guaranteed, I’m getting the vibe his leg isn’t healing good and he’s working on a early retirement fund whilst screwing over Jerrah.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope you are right.

WCS

MAH BOY IS A GODDAMN STAR! YYEEEEEHHHHAAAAWWWWW I AM FUCKING CRAZY!

litre_cola

If we know anything it is that a huge QB contact can fuck other positiins and the cap is going down. I have no problem with Jerrah paying all this money!

scotchnaut

Jeff Laurie: “I’ve instructed everyone in the organization to act in Jalen Hurts’ best interests!”

Reporter: “Soooo, which teams are you thinking of trading him to?”

Laurie: [whispers to security crew, “Hold me back!”] “You son of a bitch! I’ll end your gotdamn career!”

Redshirt

Neighbors across the street are holding a party in what I hope in celebration of them all being two months removed from the last COVID vaccine or all of them got COVID exactly 21 days ago and they are celebrating that they are no longer shedding.

I’m torn between masking up and accusing them of putting the whole neighborhood at risk or asking for a burger, hot dog and a beer because since I’m unemployed now, I don’t need to be concerned about getting sick.

On the other hand. I just picked up my last paycheck today. I could’ve gone over maskless, gotten COVID again and THEN got my last paycheck on Friday as a thank you for letting me after 12 years of dedicated service during a pandemic.

scotchnaut

Not saying I’m oldish or anything but I remember a time when The Sun Belt Conference had a real live onion on its, well, you know.

Viva La Tabula Raza

On its…truss?

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Redshirt

Well, it was the style at the time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is so beautiful. The guy who made a massive, massive bet on GameStop stock posted this one year ago today. As of market close today his account is now worth $40 million.

dfv.jpg
Sharkbait

Dude knows his shit, or is really lucky

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s both. You can make a very smart play and still have it fail. In his case, he went all-in on (what he perceived was) a suited A-K, and it played out as a royal flush.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

> Honestly, it looks like a Chinese knockoff, with three shitty little stripes on the shoulders. 

The Chinese knockoffs I bought were much better than the above jersey.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Orkland Riders”

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Redshirt

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2021/03/07/your-its-never-gonna-end-will-it-sunday-evening-open-thread/#comment-874411

I signed in yesterday at 11:25 PM (DFO+1) just to trash it, and I’m a fan!

Redshirt

They aren’t touching the helmet though, so that’s a plus. I figure lets wait until we see the finished product and hopefully the away uniforms and the pants aren’t too bad, and if they can use a white helmet with the color rushes that a plus. Also, if this would get the 70s retro jerseys in the rotation, I will accept 14-15 games of derp for 2 games of throwback beauty.