Your “Talk Amongst Yourselves” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets: Lots of little things before minicamps start

  • The NFL straight-up admitted it put the Bucs-Patriots game in Week 4 to give it the most eyes:
    • “The story can be about Brady’s return,” Vice president of NFL broadcast planning Mike North told Peter King for his Football Morning in America column.
      • “It would be different if Tom’s standing on the 50-yard line watching a tribute video in November in six inches of snow. Or, the later in the season we go, the more likely somebody’s injured. Getting in early, having that story told, made some sense.”
    • And, in a shocking coincidence, KIng’s broadcast overlord NBC won the bidding rights for the game.
      • North noted that every broadcast partner lobbied for the rights to broadcast the game, because it was a Conference crossover.
  • The Denver Broncos hired Kelly Kleine as their executive director of football operations and special advisor to the general manager.
    • So she likes horses.
    • She was previously the manager of player personnel and a Midwest college scout for the Vikings.
      • She was also liaison between the off-site scouts & the personnel department.
    • She is/was the highest ranked female scout in the NFL.
      • Having started as a PR intern almost ten years ago.
  • On the hockey front, the Leafs made a similarly historic move by naming newly minted Medical Doctor Hayley Wickenheiser as their senior director of player development.
    • They also hired Danielle Goyette as director of player development.
    • With six Olympic hockey gold medals between them, the Leafs hope to be taught what it means to win under pressure.
  • On the minicamp front, the Colts, Raiders and Broncos all are holding their minicamps this week.
    • This apparently plays into a union strategy to have players agree to early camp with fewer mini workouts & OTAs later in the offseason.
      • Due to the new 17-game schedule but only one bye-week.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Bruins vs Capitals – 7:30pm | NBCSN / CBC / Sportsnet
    • Predators vs Hurricanes – 8:00pm | CNBC / Sportsnet East (only)
    • Blues vs Avalanche – 10:00pm | NBCSN / Sportsnet1
  • NBA:
    • no games scheduled; play-in tournament begins Tuesday
  • MLB:
    • Mets vs. Braves – 7:00pm | ESPN / TSN3
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00pm | USA / Sportsnet360

So it looks like hockey’s night to shine!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Gumbygirl

Oh hell no. No, no, nopey no!

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if SCOTUS will forbid these as part of the overturning of Roe v Wade they’re currently rolling up their sleeves for.

TheRevanchist

If this doesn’t work out, they can market it as a self gyno exam kit. Great fun for the whole family!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The crowning jewel of the mother’s day gift collection

Horatio Cornblower

Watching the apitals and Bruins play OT and I just really want to see one of them lose…

and fucking Marchand won it for the Bruins. Jesus.

It’s a tough call as between him and Wilson I want the meteor to come screaming out of the sky and belt in the head.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean I understand where you’re coming from, but do you really want it to be so quick and painless?

Sharkbait

I’m team Bruins since the guys I play hockey with/Mrs. Sharkbait are all Bruins fans so I’ve really got no choice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tonight’s playlist is the Slouching Towards Bethlehem mixtape I made for popdose many years back. Currently playing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtLseSDzrmQ

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Here’s a link for anyone who wants to get down on it:

https://popdose.com/popdose-conceptual-theater-slouching-towards-bethlehem/

Dunstan

This Lexus commercial where the guy is rehearsing what I can only assume will be a TED Talk just reminds me why I don’t watch TED Talks.

litre_cola

Good thing the regular season is still going on up here in Canadia.

herodotus450

Everytim a ref calls coincidental minors where one of them is diving, I shall drown another orphan. Your move, assholes.

Gumbygirl

Seems fair.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Horatio Cornblower

I don’t have any orphans. Would you settle for a toddler?
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herodotus450

This guy Craig Anderson I call him the thermal tiles on the space shuttle Columbia, because he is often out of position.

TheRevanchist

Kids got their first Pfizer shots today. It’s tough to be a teen.

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scotchnaut

Just stumbled on this and liked it-a Surf Rock spin on Brit Spears’ “Toxic”. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAyeVjnJg9E&ab_channel=TheSurfrajettes

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

END WOMEN’S SUFFRAGE!

WCS

In honor of our NEW SPROTS UBERLORDS of HAWKEY:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehZePNP_w4I

scotchnaut

A Timmy’s employee that works the drive-thru has been telling me bad, punny jokes like “Why do ducks wear diapers? So they can cover up their butt quack.” This morning the joke was “What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?” She made a gagging sound. Wowzers!

herodotus450

Cinderella and Lance Armstrong, who knew?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[shuffles off, kicks rock]

— Nate Solder

TheRevanchist

Can we hire him to be our copy editor?

Horatio Cornblower

Ask her what the difference between peanut butter and jam is.

scotchnaut

I think I’m going to ease into this with, “Why do guys love women’s nipples so much? Because without nipples, boobs would be pointless.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or one of the old standbys, how do you make five pounds of fat fun?

Add a nipple.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[Shrugs]

— Andy Reid, poised with fork and knife over a brisket fat cap

herodotus450

Marchand in the penalty box, now’s a good time to mention that the box has been removed and in it’s place is a pit of ferocious lions who haven’t eaten in a hundred years. Have fun, Mr. Marchand!

herodotus450

“In the box with Garnet Hathaway” is definitely a video I’ve seen before.
/and also a hockey fraze, you see

TheRevanchist

“In the box of Anne Hathaway” is definitely a video I’ve dreamed of seeing before.

Horatio Cornblower

Look, she was trying to break into the business and needed the money, OK?

herodotus450

Either my TV is broken or they just legalized pot inside the Washington Team Hockey Arena. It’s looking hazy in there.

scotchnaut

Jeebus Crikey! That is some stupid bad goaltending by ex-Sen Anderson. Wow.

Gumbygirl

Indoor fireworks. Two words: Station Nightclub. We really are untrainable hairless (mostly) apes.

scotchnaut

I’ve watched “Bullitt” about six times in the last year and the movie keeps growing on me. For sure, the chase scene is cool but I’m increasingly impressed that the background music (there is none) has been replaced with the sound of traffic. The enormous gaps in dialogue makes me think that the director ripped out at least 25% of the pages of final script.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Plus Duvall as taxicab driver.

scotchnaut

And Jackie Bisset as the girlfriend.

Viva La Tabula Raza

And a Dodge Charger with 5 hubcaps.

Gumbygirl

You weren’t supposed to notice that.