Welcome back to another exclusive sneak preview of the Hue Jackson School of Scam Artistry!

As we move ever closer to summer – and, most importantly, to the return of football training camps – I find myself once again thinking about an age-old question: Is hard work more important to success than talent? Or do you have to have a minimum of talent at something in order to be successful? In our audio cassette lessons thus far, you’ve seen many examples of scammers who have combined both in order to reach the Hall of Fame of grifting. That said, this week’s lesson provides some food for thought – how far can you get with a scam with almost no discernible talent to back up your hard work? Let’s listen on…

ALI DIA: WORST PREMIER LEAGUER EVER?

BORN: August 20, 1965, Dakar, Senegal

There are so many kids out there who dream of becoming professional athletes. From dreaming you’ll be the Cowboys new quarterback to imagining that Olympic gold medal in the 100 metres to those visions of fame and fortune, it’s easy to see why the youth of the world have idolized athletes for as long as they have. As reality sets in, most kids eventually come to terms with the fact that they’ll never make the big leagues, and turn to other, more useless, pursuits, such as medicine, politics, and rocket science. For a very select few, however, that dream never truly goes away – and they do whatever it takes it to finally make it to the big leagues.

This week’s Hall of Fame Scammer, like hundreds of millions of children around the world, grew up loving the sport of football (soccer) with his whole heart. Born in Senegal, the pro football world in Africa in the 80s and 90s was extremely limited – if you really wanted to make a go of things as a footballer, it would mean leaving to go to Europe. The world doesn’t know much about Ali Dia’s early life, but we do know that in order to follow his football dreams, he moved to France, like so many of his fellow formerly colonized Senegalese citizens. We also know that everywhere he went, he wasn’t very good.

Ali Dia played five years in France, from 1989-94, with five separate clubs in the lowest tiers of the sport; this was little more than being a semi-pro player. In 1995, he signed a deal with Finnish club Finnairin Palloilijat (FinnPa), which was playing in Finland’s top league, the Veikkausliiga. Finland’s football scene is certainly not on the level of other European countries, but it was a promotion for Dia; however, he only lasted five games with FinnPa. He scored no goals, no assists, and his most notable highlight was going offsides ten times in a single match against Ilves, where his side lost 3-1. He later played three games with PK-35 in Kakkonen, northern Finland, where he scored one goal.

Fleeing Finland possibly due to the cold , Dia’s next stop was Germany, where he signed with VfB Lubeck after scoring five goals in a trial game. Again, however, he flamed out quickly after just two actual matches, and was released once more. The next stop? England… and, eventually, Southampton.

While in England, Dia failed trials at Gillingham and Bournemouth, and eventually played one game for non-league Blyth Spartans in the Northern Premier League – hardly an appealing place for anyone with football dreams to end up. As always, it’s always the toughest situations where true scammers really show their mettle – and facing one of the toughest challenges of his life, Dia stepped up in a big way to improve his lot.

In November 1996, then-Southampton manager Graeme Souness got a call… from 1995 Ballon d’Or winner George Weah (who is now the current-day president of Liberia), then playing at AC Milan. Or, at least, someone pretending to be Weah. Souness simply had to sign Ali Dia to a contract – he’d be a perfect fit to play striker. According to “Weah”, Dia was his cousin – and a Senegalese international player with 13 caps, who’d also played at the famous Paris Saint-Germain. Despite having never seen Dia play, Souness was sold – he signed Ali Dia to a one-month contract with the Premier League club. Our Hall of Fame Scammer had finally reached the pinnacle of the football world. Shockingly, not a single word of his story was fact-checked at all.

As it turns out, history repeats itself. Dia lasted just a single game at Southampton – he replaced an injured Matthew Le Tissier in the 32nd minute against Leeds United on November 23rd, 1996. He would later be subbed out for Ken Monkou in the 85th minute; Leeds won 2-0. In describing Ali Dia’s performance, Le Tissier said “He ran around the pitch like Bambi on ice; it was very embarrassing to watch.” Dia was released two weeks into his month-long contract, and skipped out on paying his hotel bill as well. Even with his Premier League disaster and negative headlines plastering papers across the country with word of the fake phone call from George Weah, Dia finished the 1996-97 season with non-league Gateshead, making close to  £400 a week – an unheard-of amount for any player at that level of competition.

After 1997, Ali – or rather, Aly Dia, as his name is actually spelled on official documents – finished a business degree at Newcastle’s Northumbria University, graduating in 2001. He later earned an MBA from San Francisco State University in 2003. While he’s been off the football radar for decades since his brief time in the English pro ranks, his name lives on – his son Simon now plays professional football, most recently in Thailand, but previously in France, just like his father.

Despite his embarrassments in the Premier League – and despite the con job that it took to get there in the first place – Ali Dia has arguably had a very successful life. With a wife, son, multiple university degrees, a gigantic collection of football stories – and, most importantly, no criminal record for any of his adventures – it’s hard not to be sympathetic to the man. Who among us wouldn’t want to be following their dreams, however far-fetched they may be? Hats off to Ali Dia, for having a clear goal – and for following through on it.

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I sure relate to this guy – this feels like it could have almost been about me if I’d chosen football over football. At any rate, I’d still say things have worked out nicely for both of us! It’s always refreshing to see hard work rewarded – but I’ll still definitely be thinking about where he could’ve ended up with even a smidge more talent. Thanks for listening! Remember – don’t forget to call 1-900-FAST-BUX today to get in on my next round of exclusive audiotape lessons on the art of scamming! If you call in the next 20 minutes, you might even get to talk to “me!”* over the phone for a personalized motivational message! Until next time – I’m Hue Jackson.

*Fuck! I sure hope they can’t hear quotation marks out loud.

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Information from this article taken from here, here, here, and here. Banner image by The Maestro.