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Your “Well, Never Mind Then” Sunday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

,

Today was for drinking, and it was a good day for it. WineWife & I first went to a cidery that she enjoys,

followed by a trip to a local distillery out in the farms of the Fraser Valley.

 

I got to be the hero, because she doesn’t like to drive on drinking adventures, whereas my ability to keep it between the ditches is legendary. (To put your minds at ease, there was time & food between both stops, because I would never put her in danger like my dad did us in the 70s.) And with all the horseshit about the renovations I discussed yesterday, I figure I earned it.

Plus, it took the mind off the fact that, with the Euro done, all we have now on the football/futbol front is the Concacaf Gold Cup, where four semi-competitive divisions eventually get winnowed down to the eventual USA vs. Mexico final. My passing attention has been essentially lost because the greatest Canadian player in 2-3 generations will miss the tournament with an ankle injury.

“As long as he’s available for World Cup qualifiers,” a nation plaintively begged.

Since it’s being carried on a non-broadcast subscription service in Canada, fuck that noise & any other attention I might have paid it.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NBA:
    • Suns at Bucks – 8:00pm | ABC / Sportsnet
      • Game 3 – Suns up 2-0
  • WNBA:
    • Lynx at Sparks – 6:00pm | Sportsnet360
  • MLB: they are on the All-Star break
    • 2021 MLB Draft (Day 1) – 7:00pm | ESPN / TSN4
  • Futbol:
    • Concacaf Golf Cup:
      • Canada vs. Martinique – 6:30 pm ET | FS1, TUDN, Univision
      • United States vs. Haiti – 8:30 pm ET | FS1, Univision, TUDN
      • El Salvador vs. Guatemala – 10:30pm | FS1, TUDN, Univision

Now that the weekend’s done, who knows what other surprises lie ahead?

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Brick Meathook

Los Angeles: Home of the body bag and alcohol delivery service.

God bless America.

2
Beerguyrob

Kirkland or name brand?

1
Brick Meathook

Sav-On “Charcoal Filtered” Vodka, in the convenient plastic jug.

1
TheRevanchist

So much better than Ralph’s.

1
SonOfSpam

Anyone just watch the rollicking US-Haiti match?

I guess we’re fielding the JV team for Copa Of Oro.

1
Redshirt

Redlegs took someone who committed to Florida. That will be an interesting negotiation.

“Do you want to spend your next couple of springs playing in Gainesville, one to two hours from the beach, not counting all the young women at the university in varying states of drunkenness? Or do you want to spend your next couple of springs, playing in Arizona, Dayton and Chattanooga, with no guarantee of even making it to the majors?”

1
Dunstan

Hell, with NIL rights, can probably make more money in NCAA. Not that it takes much to beat minor league baseball wages.

1
Redshirt

I think I was beating MiLB wages working at McDonalds.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I make more than most minor leaguers just from Mock Draft royalties.

Last edited 4 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
4
Dunstan

Well, that 5 cents you get every time someone drafts The Blair Witch Project adds up.

4
Redshirt

The MLB Commissioner isn’t getting booed out of the park?! The NFL Commissioner gets booed for having the audacity to exist. The MLB Commissioner allowed a cheating team to keep their championship and punishes those who try to get even with them.

This is why MLB is a dying sport.

2
Sharkbait

Meanwhile Gary Bettman only gets stronger with all of the boos

2
Horatio Cornblower

They were booing Manfred when I was watching. Not that he cares; Manfred doesn’t care about the fans any more than he cares about baseball.

3
Redshirt

Manfred is Trump is was a baseball commissioner and more competent.

What a minute, that’s too far. I shouldn’t compare anyone to Manfred.

1
Senor Weaselo

Hey, it’s just a hunk of metal…

0
Redshirt

Differences in 1st Round Picks by Sports:

NFL: “Congratulations in being picked last in the 1st Round. You’re going to be playing in front of tens of thousands of people each week that will be shown on National TV.”

NBA: “Congratulations in being picked last in the 1st Round. You’re going to be playing in front of tens of thousands of people each week that will be shown on National TV.”

MLB: “Congratulations in being picked last in the 1st Round. You’re going to be playing in front of tens of people each week that will sporadically be shown in the 2nd to last page of the sports newspaper.”

3
Beerguyrob

NHL: “Good luck in Buffalo.”

0
Dunstan

“Oh, like we ever pick at the END of the 1st round….” — Buffalo

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like I should send a transcript of this thread (where people are talking vastly more about the MLB draft than Game 3 of the NBA playoffs) to Adam Silver and tell him to put all his shit in a backpack and take it down to the shit store and sell it.

2
Fronkenshteen

NBA is a tough watch, unless you like endless 3-point bombs.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I wait for the last three minutes of an NBA game, then settle in for 45 minutes of non-stop time-outs.

I’m just kidding.

I don’t watch the NBA.

2
herodotus450

Dont send the graveyard of a thread that was the last game of the NHL finals to Bettman, it might make him sad. And definitely don’t follow it up with the following night’s thread which had 100x as many comments about the Spelling Bee.

5
Fronkenshteen

Spelling Bee was tits!

2
herodotus450

Naked College (or higher) Spelling Bee, now you’re talking…

1
herodotus450

Speaking of baseball prospects, the Yanquis apparently debuted a one Kumar Rocker, presumably the son of all around good guy John Rocker.

0
herodotus450

Ok apparently he was only drafted, not debuting, and not by hte Yanks but some other NY team. We regret these errors.

Last edited 4 years ago by herodotus450
0
yeah right

Hope he has to ride the subway.

0
Fronkenshteen

Kumar Rocker:

B60B5C9F-C782-4D5D-BFC0-40641452B62D.jpeg
1
Fronkenshteen

Kumar Rocker’s dad, Tracy Rocker:

AB072257-A6FE-44D1-B65C-391EF7CB6C05.jpeg
0
Redshirt

I see everything is too enthused with the MLB Draft’s 1st Round to comment upon it.

0
Horatio Cornblower

The Yankees just drafted a SS. In 4-5 years we’ll know if that was a good move or not.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That makes sense, they need help in the secondary.

0
Redshirt

Agreed. With all that money they throw around, you’d think we see them play in January every once in a while.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’d just be happy seeing them play the 9th inning in July.

1
Redshirt

The Reds drafted a SS, with an “enough arm to stick to short[stop], but may have to go to center” and “below average power that will lower his hitting stats”.

You can change the team name, but Cincinnati making a draft selection is still Cincinnati making a draft selection.

1
Horatio Cornblower

If the Reds are enamored of weak-armed shortstops who can’t hit for power I’m sort of confused as to why they didn’t draft me right out of Little League.

2
herodotus450

Not sure if the basebdall season is so boring they have to put the draft in the middle to spice it up, or if the draft is so boring that it can’t be it’s own thing like every other sport.

1
Dunstan

Sorry, too busy checking to see how my mock draft did to comment.

I’m hoping to become the Mel Kiper of baseball. In that I will annoy the fuck out of everyone yet somehow get paid a lot of money.

I’m halfway there.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You know, there was a time in my life when I <i>enjoyed</i> Seven Nation Army. Now, it’s about as palatable to me as the sound of a puppy being mistreated.

1
Fronkenshteen

“Ball and Biscuit” is still good.

1
yeah right

There are only a few ways you can fuck up something as delicious as a grilling session and my neighbors just did it.

“These coals didn’t catch, let’s add more lighter fluid!”

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We had salmon tacos, cooked on my nice, reliable propane grill.

2
Sharkbait

That sounds delicious.
comment image

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They were quite good. Accessories to the tacos included avocado, vinegared green cabbage, and red salsa.

3
Horatio Cornblower

I, too, enjoy my steak well done and marinated in kerosene

3
Horatio Cornblower

“What’s the conversation in the Haitian locker room?”

It’s ‘how can we defect?’, same as always.

2
Fronkenshteen

Need two unanswered this half from the yanks to keep the dream alive.

0
herodotus450

Was just prompted to update so-called “security questions” for an “account” of mine, and one of the pre-made questions was “What is your greatest fear?”
Slow down, pornhub Bank of America, I don’t think our relationship is there yes.

5
Doktor Zymm

Fabienne:
Whose motorcycle is this?

Butch:
It’s a chopper, baby.

Fabienne:
Whose chopper is this?

Butch:
It’s Zed’s.

Fabienne:
Who’s Zed?

Butch:
Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.

2
Fronkenshteen

Esmerelda Villa Lobos: “What is your name?”

Butch Coolidge: “Butch.”

Esmerelda Villa Lobos: “What does it mean?”

Butch Coolidge: “I’m an American, baby. Our names don’t mean shit.”

3
yeah right

“This has been without a doubt the single weirdest day of my life.”

0
Doktor Zymm

What are the odds that QT made this movie just so he could say the n word 4 times?

0
yeah right

FOUR times? You must have missed Django Unchained.

5
Doktor Zymm

Four times in less than a minute though, in his own stupid monologue

1
Sharkbait

The Euros ended just in time to start the new job tomorrow. I wont be distracted by lesser footy

2
Horatio Cornblower

Mock draft is tomorrow morning.

Get your priorities straight, mister.

1
Sharkbait

They fucked up my email address. Im sure I can sneak a pick in or two before I’m fully operational

1
Fronkenshteen

No Pulisic? Huh. Probably should’ve looked that up before I picked the US to win by 3. I’m sure it’ll be fine.
comment image

1
Horatio Cornblower

3 seems low, given that the Haitian team will likely be destructed by little things like their homeland’s imminent descent into lawless anarchy.

Well, more so that usual.

2
Doktor Zymm

Ah, Pulp Fiction and the hilarious confusion between white powders

2
Sharkbait

The Bonnie Situation is easily the best part of that movie, and the whole thing is amazing

1
Horatio Cornblower

Tim Roth has a massively important and completely underestimated role in that movie.

2
Doktor Zymm

It was a teenage wedding and the old folks wished them well!

2
blaxabbath

Blaxito turns three on Saturday. Looking for solid white sangria recipe.

3
blaxabbath

Something that takes more than a shot to go down.

Unlike pathetic Ashley Babbit.

8
Horatio Cornblower

Banner this.

3
Dunstan

“Honey, I don’t even need the shot.” — Buddy Cole

1
Don T

The 70s were a golden age for drunk driving and jokes about it. Them old timers knew how to swerve..

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Wearing only lap seatbelts!

If they remembered to put them on…

1
yeah right

We had a bunch of drives through the desert with various drunken uncles back then. Anybody familiar with Slaughter Alley? It’s the highway 58 between 4 corners and Barstow and it’s known for its dips in the road. We called them whoop de doos. One of my Grandmothers drunken offspring, 2nd husband, twice removed aggressively from the bar, tried to get air between each dip and land on the downside.
Mixed results.

He once said, while completely tanked, ” Hey kids, know what a yellow light means?”

Various answers of “Slow down” and “Use caution” ensued.

He said “”It means drive like shit before the light turns red!”

My grandmother Gladys tossed her empties into the back seat where we were riding, without seatbelts always, and would say “You little shit asses better hold on back there.”

Last edited 4 years ago by yeah right
4
herodotus450

Manual transmissions were the original BAC interlock devices.

3
Senor Weaselo

So I ran some errands with Senorita Weaselo so I missed the two main relevant sports bits of the day. With that…

THIS YANKEES-ASTROS GAME, I CALL IT EASTERN EUROPE’S ANSWER TO ITCHY & SCRATCHY, WORKER & PARASITE, BECAUSE WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

Last edited 4 years ago by Senor Weaselo
3
Beerguyrob

Indeed.

1AB0FA5A-790B-4C7C-A366-F1D8C1197714.gif
1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Hehe. Oh Andy Capp, you wife-beating drunkcomment image

6
herodotus450

ppl forget that domestic abuse goes up 3800% in Italy when they lose, so this was really the best outcome
/Stereotypes are fun!

1
Dunstan

I’m taking that claim with a grain of salt. Can’t help but think of how there a similar statistic that used to get passed around about Super Bowl weekend, before it was debunked enough that media outlets finally got too ashamed to print it.

1
herodotus450

Several links deep from that twot I found this,
https://www.lse.ac.uk/News/Latest-news-from-LSE/2021/f-June-21/Alcohol-not-emotions-responsible-for-domestic-abuse-rise-after-football-matches
that says it’s actually alcohol’s fault.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

3
SonOfSpam

That’s because the women say things like “Well, they had a good run” or “Hey you can’t expect to win em all” and it’s kinda understandable.

2
Horatio Cornblower

What were Ron Goldman’s last words?

“Hey, you’re OJ Simpson!”

From Norm Coleman shitting on OJ while on SNL, to the point that it got him fired.

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t recall Senator Norm Coleman saying that but i do recall Norm McDonald doing so.

0
Horatio Cornblower

McDonald stole it from Coleman.

Or I’m an idiot. I leave it to you guys to unravel the paradox.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Look, when the Yankees blow a 5 run lead in the 9th and my wife says “so, hey, pizza for dinner tonight” I can hardly be blamed for throwing an iron at her face!

Also the pizza was very good.

2
TheRevanchist

Everyone on these broadcasts pretending MLS is a real league are delusional.

2
TheRevanchist

I am hoping the US team shits the bed, as they have in the past. I’m a traditionalist.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I enjoyed learning that England lost from the DFO Twitter account

3
ballsofsteelandfury

That flight is awesome and super cheap!!

1
Gumbygirl

20 bucks is crazy cheap, for full sized drinks too. I would be under the table.

1
Beerguyrob

They are half size. Still, they were pretty good. And the places were empty because they didn’t have TV.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

They don’t look half sized and that’s still 8 ounces of hard alcohol. Nothing to sneeze at.

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