Hi everyone,
I prepped this earlier in the week, because the current reconstruction at my house might cost me my internet access on Thursday.
There was supposed to be a Game 7 in the Association tonight, but the Bucks selfishly took care of that by beating the Suns on Tuesday evening, winning the Larry O’Brien trophy for the first time in 50 years & cementing Giannis as one of the true greats of the modern era.
So, with only baseball & the remains of the Gold Cup on the horizon, we can all thank the good Cthulhu below that Japan has decided to throw caution to the wind and decided to forge ahead with holding the 2020 Olympics.
What also helps? The $3.0 billion in broadcast revenues the IOC would have to forgo if the Games were cancelled. It’s surprising facts like this which forced the Olympics to boldy go ahead and hold the one thing they’re known for, because – as any good mob movie will tell you – you never give back the bribes.
Because the Games are happening (depending on your time zone) 13-16 hours on the wrong side of the clock, for your convenience I’m including the broadcast schedules for the major networks:
- NBC & affiliates schedule
- CBC’s schedule
- Sportsnet has no defined schedule, but they go live every night at 7:00pm
Of course, they would LOVE IT if you’d download their app to your TV so they can monitor your viewing habits keep you apprised of Games coverage.
So, with that in mind, and without any NFL news to discuss, I give you the only Olympic preview you need – the Athens 2004 Mary Carillo rant about badminton.
Genius.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Yankees at Red Sox – 7:00pm | Sportsnet / MLBN
- A’s at Mariners – 10:00pm | Sportsnet1
- Olympics:
- Opeing Ceremony – 6:30am | CBC / Sportsnet; 6:55am | NBC
- NBC’s broadcast is timed with the “Today” show, so it will be edited to omit countries the network doesn’t care about. Sorry Lesotho.
- Canada’s broadcast will be available in English, French, ASL, and eight Indigenous languages – Eastern Cree, Dehcho Dene, Dënësųłinë́ Yałtı, Gwichʼin, Inuktitut, Inuvialuktun, Sahtu Dene and Tłı̨chǫ.
- Opeing Ceremony – 6:30am | CBC / Sportsnet; 6:55am | NBC
Tomorrow (I assume) will be replete with sexy athletes, so I’ll hopefully see you on the weekend, WiFi permitting.
Uber prices are so high that my credit card rejected it as a fraud attempt.
I swear, the 2021 Yankees are the biggest cockteases. Take 3-1 lead, have multi-inning guy throw 5 pitches in the 8th, send someone else out to pitch the 9th. Gives up lead. Retake lead. Bring in new guy to pitch 10th.
Throws 4 wild pitches en route to loss. FOUR. And no, Gary Sanchez was not catching.
A weird consequence of covid-era travel planning, I’m really eager for some of my September flights to get cancelled
There’s a huge power failure out here in Playa del Rey, going on three hours now. I’m assuming aircraft at LAX are just going straight into the Pacific Ocean.
I’ll be in the neighborhood tomorrow around 8. They know I’m coming, so rest assured that the power will be back on.
Glad i got out when I did. Not glad I’m still on a plane on a tarmac.
Where are you going?
https://youtu.be/bkj6FRUQ-zw
WTF?? I was asked to add 2 + 2 in order to log in.
I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE NO MATH!!!
The answer is potato.
— T. Green
So, the tart is more of a pie.
The recipe called for 5 “small” leeks. I don’t think leeks come in “small”
“Oh yeah they do.” – a guy with prostate issues
The good thing is you’re representing England, so the expectations for the food are already really low.
But it smells so good.
I want to arrive at my sister’s house tomorrow blasting “Rule Britannia” on a speaker and inform her I own their house now. Like a true Englishman.
You mean Spice Girls?
Looks awfully quiche-like to me
That looks good. I love leeks.
I don’t recognize this Simpsons still but I’m cracking up over how it’s being used.
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Homosexuality is trending and I like it. <a href=”https://t.co/WXeEpqFywi”>pic.twitter.com/WXeEpqFywi</a></p>— H.D.Frankenstein (@HDFrankenstein) <a href=”https://twitter.com/HDFrankenstein/status/1418180904481087494?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>July 22, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>
Huh. Let’s try a direct link:
https://mobile.twitter.com/HDFrankenstein/status/1418180904481087494
Almost got it, sport!
https://twitter.com/HDFrankenstein/status/1418180904481087494
One “your flight is less delayed” notification later and we’re back in the saddle
Were going to my sisters tomorrow for an opening ceremony (vaccinated family only) party. Each person is a country and I got England/Team GB. I’m making a leek and stilton tart and bringing whisky. I might win.
That’s a really cool idea!
We’ve done bigger ones in the before times. I was Australia for the Rio games and scored a kangaroo tenderloin that I marinated and cooked.
Interesting! How did it taste?
I had kangaroo before when I was in Sydney. Its very game-y and is best treated like venison. I enjoyed it and would get it again if I wanted to mess with party guests
I’ve always thought that’s the weirdest thing anyone has ever said to me: “How would you like your kangaroo?”
Are you going to dress as the Queen? I heard she had some great gams back in the day.
If Reggie Jackson comes near me I’m out.
In conclusion, Britain is a land of contrasts.
So the Dr. Mrs. is watching* Good Girls and they buy a strip club and I thought the main stripper was Monica Keena but IMDB doesn’t list credits for <i>any</i> of the strippers. Not cool, IMDB. Not cool.
*reading the internet with the TV on
In honor of the protests in Cuba I’m gonna play some Tropico
I think you should drink some Tropico
Is it made with real bird shit?
Ok, flight delayed and offboarded, so….drinks in terminal 7?
“First round’s on me!” – Pilot
Sounds like a good plan! Or at least the best plan available
THIS IS YOUR OWN FAULT FOR MOVING AWAY!
[runs off to room, crying]
[slams door]
[starts blasting The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus]
United?
Yup
As Don T says, “Uf!”
Am I the only one that thinks that the State Farm commercials for the “Maya Markdown”, when Maya asks for him to pull around in 20 minutes to “hook him up with the good parts”, she isn’t talking about raw meat?
Oh, you’re not alone.
The question is did the script writers intentionally make it sound like she’s asking him around back to, uh… “go around back,” or were they all just totally oblivious to it at the time?
First you got me to vote Democratic, now you got me watching the Olympics. I hate you all, you magnificent sons and daughters of bitches.
Hee hee hee hee.
Wait until I get you an AFL team!
Maybe hold off on GWS til next season.
Yeah, you gotta go slow.
Remember what happened in the 2016, the Democratic Party went from the first Black President to the first Woman President? Practically the entire Republican Party freaked out and literally joined a cult.
The Cuban rower is currently third. Make your own jokes as you will.
She is now last.
She’s trying to get people to quit watching her, then she’s going to floor it to the Florida coast before the Coast Guard realizes what’s she doing.
She finished fourth, so maybe she won’t make it….
Canadian rower has red and white maple leaf socks!
She finishes 2nd!
There is a white Namibian rower…
Cecil Rhodes has entered the chat
That’s the Cecil Rhodes bat-signal!
Namibia has a lot of people of German descent living there. Without modern technology it’s hard for anyone to live there at all.
I mean check out this climate map:
There was a great Grand Tour special about Namibia a couple years back…
We just commemorated 9/11’s 110th birthday at Pretend Man City. Unfortunately, schedule constraints prevented a friendly match in Saudi Arabia.
Women’s single skulls is no joke. I’m tired just watching them…
I once got on the rowing machine at the gym. Set it for 7 minutes, thinking I’d be tired, but it’d be a good workout.
I don’t think I made it 45 seconds.
As opposed to single women’s skulls, which…oh, hi there officer!
“Ancient 15,000-year old viruses identified in melting Tibetan glaciers”
https://www.sciencealert.com/15-000-year-old-viruses-from-melting-tibetan-glaciers-hold-insights-into-earth-s-past
NOT NOW, SATAN
Puerto Rico is rowing!!
Ron DeSantis just deployed the National Guard.
She came in fourth in her heat. Insert paper towel joke here.
Wait. They’re still rowing!
She finished third and moves on to the next round!! WOOOO!!!
“Don’t like her chances-her shoulders are too big.”
-Anon, N.C.
Goooo Padres!!
Bob Dole says he’s still ‘a Trumper’ but ‘sort of Trumped out’ – CNNPolitics
As DFO’s Token Republican, allow me to translate for Bob Dole.
Bob Dole has had enough.
Bob Dole is a proud Republican.
Bob Dole supported Donald Trump in the past.
Bob Dole can’t continue.
Bob Dole is tried of Trump’s bullshit.
Bob Dole knows Trump lost.
Bob Dole knows its obvious.
Bob Dole refuses to ignore reality.
Bob Dole isn’t going to live longer
Bob Dole has cancer.
Bob Dole going to die soon.
Bob Dole going to meet Bob Dole’s Maker.
Bob Dole going to have to answer for Bob Dole’s actions.
Bob Dole starting regret Bob Dole’s actions in life.
Bob Dole is wondering if four years in power is worth an eternity in Hell.
Bob Dole…(sighs)
Bob Dole feeling depressed.
Bob Dole sleepy.
Bob Dole…(snores)
Bob Dole…(snores)
Bob Dole…(snores)
Make fun of me all you want, but I think America missed out on him not being President with his eloquent oratory skills. He just picked the wrong year to run, I guess.
“Getting dragged at DFO?”
In all seriousness, it must be very demoralizing for Bob Dole to be facing death knowing that the party he invested so much of his life’s energy into is now under the thrall of people like Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Green, and Rudy Giuliani.
(originally I had included Stephen Miller, but I doubt Bob Dole is terribly fussed about him – probably lumps him in with Karl Rove as “an asshole, but OUR asshole.”)
yeah, I don’t exactly love Bob Dole’s politics, but he always struck me a decent and honourable man
Most people forget that most pre-Crisis Republicans were okay guys.
Wait, are you saying pre-Covid? Cause you’re about a decade late on that one.
No. I’m referring to the Republican Revolution of 1994. That’s not exactly when they went Pure Evil, but that was the first step.
Ah. Ok. Yes, I’ll go with you on that one.
Couple of pretty famous ones kind of dominate the storytelling of that period…
Oh, sure. Of course you bring that up.
I don’t fault Nixon too much. He was okay; he just suffered from compete paranoia thinking everyone was out to get him. If it wasn’t for that, he wouldn’t have gotten involved in the Watergate coverup and would’ve gone down as a two term President.
But Spiro Agnew, yeah his complete evil. Just the name screams “James Bond villain name”.
Agreed. He was part of the old guard of Republicans, before Gingrich and his guys came in and took over. He got the John McCain Retirement Package of “Get Your Ass Kicked by a Popular Democratic” for the ’96 election, but unlike McCain, Dole actually tried his best. Bill Clinton was horny, unstoppable Teflon in the ’90s. I’m not even sure Reagan could’ve beaten him in a hypothetical matchup.
I feel like MTG is realizing she’s not the MOST hated Republican and has now made it her life’s mission to get the top spot.
Jesus, she’s such a fucking ghoul.
Its only Thursday. I have to work tomorrow. Why are you driving me to drink heavily?
You have to get in shape for the football season.
“Stop lying about Bob Dole’s record!”
The foxy and intelligent Nicolle Wallace now refers to herself as a “Non-Practicing Republican”
Anyone else at LAX and want to masked drink right now?
I’ll be in the neighborhood tomorrow morning at 8. What terminal?
That’s a little late since I’m boarding a flight east now
With you in spirit. Mixing cocktails at home.
Per Google Maps, I can be there in 32 hours, or 4.5 hours if I can borrow some money from Petty Cash for a ticket from CVG.
found a funny:
wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey?
guard: [looking away] fine
wife: did something happen?
the guard: [tearing up] no
wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?
Chuck Grassley out here wondering how we’re gonna pay for the infrastructure bill.
Jeff Bezos just went to space on his own dime and then donated like $200 million. I think I know where we can find the cash, Charles.
It occurs to me that when I retire, I’m going to have to give up my faithful work laptop. I reckon I need a simple laptop that I can surf the web with, and be able to load Office and probably Acrobat. Not worried about graphics or incredible sound or anything fancy, just something i can watch YouTubes and such and hang out here.
I really dont know shit about up to date tech. Any suggestions?
You could go with a Chromebook, which usually marries good-enough specs to a decent price, especially if you’re not doing anything too fancy.
Exactly. I say go Chromebook. That’s what I use.
I usually just buy the next-to-simplest, prior model year Dell. Chromebook doesn’t run some PC database-based games (like my baseball sim program).
Good point. Microsoft makes Android versions of Office software, but they’re not direct copies of what you’d get on Windows.
The problem with a traditional laptop comes when finding the right price point: too cheap and you’re stuck with a POS (my mom tried that one), too expensive and you just spent a shit load of money for more than you need.
yeah, that’s why I usually do a click or two above the dirt cheapest model
add Footy Manager and Diamond Mind Baseball, that’s basically me
…or you can buy a cheap laptop that looks like your work laptop and turn that into work.
What are they gonna do? Fire you?
Any particular brand? I’m not particularly constrained by price/cost. And am too old to try to learn too much new so I need to stay away from Apple stuff.
Olympic Lesser Footy – even at like 6 in the goddamned morning – has been replete with FULL COMMERCIAL BREAKS during the action. I think my watching is done.
“Split-screen technology has never existed and will never exist. It’s a goddamn unicorn-stop talking about it!”
-NBC and assorted affiliates
I wonder if there are streams available from overseas networks. Can’t imagine the European stations would do something like that.
What are you watching on? I’m streaming them on the app and get no commercials.
teevee box (NBCSN)
Well that’s your first mistake. Get the NBC Sports app. No commercials during events.
The thing that scares me the most about going into a bar, now that things have opened back up, is ordering a scotch. I know that while that pour is occurring there will be no ‘glugging’ sound emanating from the bottle.
Maybe you can get an app that plays that sound while the barkeeper is pouring. You know, like they make electric cars that will emit a loud V8 exhaust noise on demand.
The thing is Japan actually can’t cancel, they’re locked into their contract with the IOC. They’re essentially a nation being held hostage, that won’t even be able to recoup any of their financial investment since spectators are disallowed. I’m upgrading the IOC to NCAA level evil.
“Oof! [wipes sweat from brow] Thought she was gonna mention us!”
-FIFA
Ha ha ha ha the joke is that FIFA is wiping the sweat off their own brow and not having an indentured servant from Bangladesh do it for them, right?
We prefer to call them ‘happy worker pals’ – FIFA
“Here’s $25000 to never mention them again.”
-Qatar
Nothing too exciting going on, so I’ll just give y’all a picture of my latest and greatest crush: Laura Jean Marsh.
Where is she from?
The only thing I’ve seen is the new movie Giddy Stratospheres, which I think is about the UK garage rock scene in the 00s or something. It looks like she’s otherwise been in a bunch of British stuff and B-movies.
Edit: I haven’t seen the movie yet, I just saw a trailer and some pictures and think she’s foxy.
Here’s another one.
Them’s some good shoulders, chuh chuh
Top tip: don’t use the embed picture icon. It shrinks the image.
Simply type the URL into the comment and it will show up bigger.
Gotcha. Thank you!