Request Line: Weekend at Zuernie’s – Part 2 (Guest Stars)

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are – amazingly – still hard at work in their office.  One – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is seated behind his desk punching numbers into a spreadsheet.  The other – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is flipping through a stack of headshots.  A third person in the office is lounging on the couch, throwing a football up in the air to himself and catching it.

COLE BEASLEY: I hope I don’t catch the China Virus as easily as I’m catching this here pigskin.

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: [without looking up from his computer] Good one, Cole.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [puts the headshot of a young woman into a folder marked “JOSS WHEDON FAVOR REPAYMENT”] Yes, very amusing.

COLE BEASLEY: [glances at RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY] Say, speaking of headshots, is there any way we can write some kind of sniper scene into the film?

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS and RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY both stop what they are doing and look up.

COLE BEASLEY: You know, just cause…I always kind of figured that by standing by my convictions I was kind of like that sniper fellow in the movie.

RTD: Mark Wahlberg?

DTZM: No, he means Bradley Cooper.

COLE BEASLEY: No, I mean the real one.

RTD: The real Mark Wahlberg?

COLE BEASLEY: No, I mean…

DTZM: Just because he’ been pumping himself full of HGH and Winstrol for the last ten years doesn’t mean that Mark isn’t real.

RTD: And Dianabol, don’t forget about the Dianabol.

DTZM: Yeah, you gotta have Dianabol.

RTD: It’s like the grandmother of all performance enhancers.

— [door flies open] —

CHARLIE SLY: Hey, did somebody say…

DTZM: [irritated] NOT NOW CHARLIE.

— [door flies closed] —

RTD: Anyhow, we should start thinking seriously about who we want to attach as your co-star.

COLE BEASLEY: Co-star? Wait, you want me to star in this thing now?

DTZM: Of course, you really want one of those Hollywood liberal actors to spoil your vision?

RTD: Besides, professional actors are too expensive.

DTZM: We’re going with a non-union crew on this one.

RTD: Outsiders.

DTZM: Guys who got fired from other productions because they refused to play ball with the system. 

RTD: Wouldn’t follow COVID protocols…

DTZM: Took too many cigarette breaks…

RTD: Tried to set up spycams in actresses’ trailers…

DTZM: Real blue-collar guys, you know?

RTD: Lunchpail types.

COLE BEASLEY: Hells bells, sounds good to me!

RTD: [holds up a headshot] How about this guy?

COLE BEASLEY: Rick Dennison?

DTZM: Ugh.  He looks like he’s high.  This isn’t “Harold and Kumar Trim the Roster Down”.

RTD: Unless…

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS nods and jots down a note.

COLE BEASLEY: Who else you got?

RTD: Jalen Richard?

COLE BEASLEY: Too, uh…[glances at DTZM, who shakes his head almost imperceptibly]…urban?

RTD: Josh Allen?

COLE BEASLEY: Ooh!

DTZM: [points at computer screen] Some bad news on this one, I don’t think the Bills will sign the release to let us use him.  He’s too [makes quotation marks] “valuable to the franchise”.

RTD: Nuts.  Well, you never know when Bernard Pollard I mean lightning will strike.  Let’s put him in the “maybe” pile.  How about this guy?

DTZM: Daddy likey.

RTD: Yeah, he’s definitely got the look.  Like Vin Diesel, but Nebraskafied by 20% or so.

DTZM: [solemnly] “He lives his life a quarter yard and a cloud of dust at a time”.

RTD: [to COLE BEASLEY] What do you think, champ?

COLE BEASLEY: Cole? Yeah, he’s okay.

DTZM: Wait, his name is “Cole” too?

COLE BEASLEY: Yeah, Cole Popovich.  He coaches for the Patriots.

RTD: Ah, nuts.

COLE BEASLEY: What’s wrong with the name Cole?

DTZM: Absolutely nothing wrong with the name.

RTD: It’s a good, red-blooded American name.

DTZM: Patriotic name.

RTD: It’s just that we can’t have two headliners with the same first name.

DTZM: Hollywood learned a big lesson from that Feldman and Haim fiasco.

COLE BEASLEY: Huh.

RTD: Wait a minute!  I’ve got it!

DTZM: You do?

RTD: The answer’s been staring us in the face this whole time!  The best part is, he’s still under contract after we wrote him off of TMR!

DTZM: Of course!  What’s he been doing since then?

RTD: Surfing, mostly.  [holds up headshot] Cole Beasley, meet your new guest star!

COLE BEASLEY: Guest star? I thought we were looking for a co-star?

DTZM: We are!  He’ll go down on the paperwork as a guest star, though.

RTD: That way we don’t have to pay him as much.

COLE BEASLEY: [shakes his head in admiration] Man, you guys think of everything.

Today’s theme is: Guest Stars. We’re looking for songs that feature guest vocalists (EDIT: or other musicians).  Songs by supergroups are okay too, but try to avoid plain old duets – we’ve already done that as a topic.  LET’S KEEP IT FRESH, PEOPLE! Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUrF1n’J4ck” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  I’ll get us started with a collaboration between U2 and Johnny Cash.

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BeefReeferLives

SRV & Double Trouble featuring Albert King:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAOlQaLVJdw

scotchnaut

Mick Jagger with the uncredited background vocals-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cleCtBP0o5Y&ab_channel=CarlySimon-Topic

BeefReeferLives

Here’s the Tommy Dorsey Orchestra featuring some unknown schmuck named Francis.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_KmSUiKDyI

TheRevanchist

Of note, Tommy Dorsey and His Orchestra does a mean version of Boy! What Love Has Done To Me! for the movie Girl Crazy. It’s not featuring anyone, but it is introduced by Ethel Merman in the movie, starring Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney.

scotchnaut

Flea and Dave Navarro sit in on this tune. Did you know?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPcyTyilmYY&ab_channel=AlanisMorissette

BeefReeferLives

redacted

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Well, you otter.
comment image

BeefReeferLives
Viva La Tabula Raza

Didn’t see this one on my scroll-thru.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1hgXfX5-U

scotchnaut

Just watched the replay of Canuck women’s win over Brazil in soccer. That old saw of ‘the goalie stood on his/her head!” applies to Labbe. She simply refused to let her team lose. Fucking ridiculous.

King Hippo

Trent Reznor’s only good work (post-heroine, not counting the Vietnam PBS soundtracking):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W2E6jNXzBE

scotchnaut

Surprised this lasted this long.

King Hippo

Silver medal for VLTR!

/Rikki still in 1st

Viva La Tabula Raza

Johnny Cash with TP & Heartbreakers as backing band.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNj6spCtUE0

scotchnaut

Mark Knopfler helping out The Van (he probably wasn’t quite the nutbar back then, maybe)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0uFt2kVb6Q&ab_channel=MarkKnopfler%27sWorld

BeefReeferLives

Featuring Henry Rollins…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfoKZfijM3Q

Gumbygirl

Brian Jones playing the sexyphone
https://youtu.be/iZndVv-jl-U

Horatio Cornblower

Amy Winehouse does ska with The Specials

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqtfl0gt5fM&list=RDMM&index=37

scotchnaut

Slash joins Lenny. I never hear this tune anywhere. Great riff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=em8JuUW-OOE&ab_channel=LennyKravitzVEVO

Horatio Cornblower

Sugarland and Sare Bareilles covering ‘Come On Eileen’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMDqkBjvdMg&list=RDMM&index=23

Dunstan

Love that one.

BeefReeferLives
yeah right

All about that.

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Horatio Cornblower
ballsofsteelandfury

“Like Vin Diesel, but Nebraskafied by 20% or so.”

This is genius. That line was chef’s kiss.

ArmedandHammered

Isn’t this basically every single Gorillaz song? Anyway, Jimmy Paige on guitar (according to Donovan):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzMZeY_ghNs

BeefReeferLives
Horatio Cornblower

ooh, the men’s 1500 meter swim! Let’s see if any of these bozos can beat my best time of roughly a half hour.

Game Time Decision

On a lazy river

Horatio Cornblower

Right now I can’t swim 100 yards thanks to a shitty shoulder and neck thing, but back when I was in the pool regularly I could go 1500 yards in around a half hour, yes.

I think a mile was another 300 yards +/-, so you would need to add that to get my time for the mile. Most I would do at a clip was 2500 yards, and that took roughly 50-55 minutes.

Horatio Cornblower

I swam in the same pool as the woman holding the state HS record for the women’s 50 and 100, a kid that I coached in LL who turned down a swimming scholarship to an Ivy League school because he wanted to bicycle race somewhere else, and a woman who has swum the English Channel multiple times, (at once, like to France and back, because why not?), and who once swam the length of Loch Ness.

The HS record-holder used to do insane workouts. Once I was forced into the same lane she was using and it was hilariously humiliating. I might as well have been dog-paddling while wearing floaties on my arms.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
BeefReeferLives

Featuring Branford on saxamaphone:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TO4YV185orE

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Double shot with Duane Allman:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oaodK8zdtI

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Triple shot with Stephen Stills:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1vdh7zcM-U

Horatio Cornblower
Don T

Oh Tracey 😍

Dunstan

Found a football connection, with the San Francisco 49ers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB5YkmjalDg

BeefReeferLives

Featuring Etta James (damn, she sure belts it right out)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxJ7JCppdvM

Horatio Cornblower

Willie Nelson, accompanied by a former favoUrite band of mine, The Supersuckers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoklvwtA8Lc

Try to ignore Jay Leno

BeefReeferLives

Kinda, sorta a double shot… (a Paul song, but with Willie’s band)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNIEtwZ1OYQ

BeefReeferLives

“try to ignore Jay Leno” – I think that is just good all around advice for pretty much any situation…

BeefReeferLives

Featuring SRV before he got big:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbD_kBJc_gI

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
Viva La Tabula Raza

Playing on this Bowie album is kinda what brought SRV to everyone’s attention in the first place. I saw him open for George Thorogood in Corpus Christi back in 1982, never heard of him before, was floored.

BeefReeferLives

Featuring the disembodied head of Lou Reed:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqNjH62wjJY

Dunstan

Also from the 80s, surely Eddie Van Halen’s guitar solo counts:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRdxUFDoQe0

Dunstan

And of course, MJ paid it forward with a “cameo” that basically single-handedly made this guy a one-hit wonder:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvAYIJSSZY

Horatio Cornblower

I hated that song.

Horatio Cornblower

REM with Kate Pierson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDucg0E4kMI

IMO REM’s best song, and it owes a lot to Kate’s vocals.

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think I’ve ever been more grievously insulted. Shall we say pistols at dawn?

Horatio Cornblower

Sure. The only way I’d be up at dawn would be not going to bed at all the night before.

Dunstan

This thread needs some Canadian 80s pop. You’ve got to wait for a bit to hear the Bryan Adams vocals:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx6_-urg5fo

BeefReeferLives

Featuring Chuck Leavell on piano:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ2gL9-MnS8

TheRevanchist

More Tip!

ArmedandHammered

So just the Tip only?

King Hippo

You. WIN.

BeefReeferLives
Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Featuring Jerry G. on pedal steel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkaKwXddT_I

BeefReeferLives

I’m not sure who the guest vocalist in this is, but she’s pretty good…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1dlWmrRstc

TheRevanchist
BeefReeferLives

Are guest instrumentalists ok, or guest vocalists only?

BeefReeferLives

Not trying to call you out or be a dick, just want clarification…

BeefReeferLives

Thanks!! (you picked a more difficult one this week, RTD! Making me use the ‘ol grey matter. Good one!)

TheRevanchist

It’s perfectly fine to be a dick. However, you have to remember we can always be talking about the jazz music.

jazz.jpg
BeefReeferLives

Words of wisdom by a serial chemical-rapist… comment image

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Double shot (featuring NAS):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mczmFWlWPOI

BeefReeferLives

Make it a triple (featuring Santigold)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-QIiVS_7Hs

TheRevanchist
BeefReeferLives

Featuring Kirsty MacColl…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Hmmm. Stevie’s singing with Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, would this be considered a duet, though?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5i7j0VhEHw

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives