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Below follows Part 1 of our Roundtable, which doubles as morning Open Thread. Three commenters represent Murrika, and 3 for Canadia. No moose were injured in the compiling of this “thought.”
This is the 2021 DFO Fantasy Roundtable Fuckfest thread. I have to fill Sabado noche as well as morning, so let’s have some drunken, pill-addled thoughts. (edited)
First question FOAR the class (and don’t let me be the only fucker asking questions) – we all got our fingers burned by one player or another last season. Please name a player you are “once bitten twice shy” about, and which well you are foolishly sticking your dick in again.
Hippo is going to franchise Clyde Edwards-Helaire again. Damn it, I will just have a fatal Kubiak if I do NOT do so, and he does the full Marshall Faulk behind a better OL (and with a better understanding of pass protection schemes). However, I am absolutely, positively not taking The Ben. Not even for $1.
He got injured and the kHunt took over
And I let him go
Then he came back
But are you gonna do it again? If DAK! ain’t vaccinated, he’s definitely going to infect Zeke
I never take Cowboys or Iggles so I shied away from that car crash. The whole Chubb rock thing burned, howevah I plan to get hurt by Josh Jacobs and his platooning with the vulture Kenyon Drake. I hate the Drake.
For me, it was Lamar. The AUDACITY of that motherfucker to not have back-to-back MVP seasons. So rude. And yet I will be probably going after him once more.
That raises a thought (that I have never turned into effective strategery) – swing for the fences at QB because you can always find someone competent for $1/on waivers if he busts.
That has almost always been my option. I’ve had shite luck on many things except for QBs… though I did land Dalvin Cook last year which was an unexpected coup considering his performance last season for the dumbass idiot Vikes.
Bet I will live to regret cutting Joe Burrow the last week of waivers. I took him for $1 last year, could have kept him for $2. Instead, I am more or less forced into two “good on paper but I sense a rogering” options. ThAndre Swift ($12 last year, keep for $15), Justin Jefferson ($3/$4). #2 receiving option on a side that prefers to hide its Dingleberry QB what could possibly go wrong.
I’ve never done keepers and if there is a kind and just God, I never will. But I assume the 20-year league I’m in will move to it eventually just to add spice for their withered palates (edited)
We just started auction draft this year though, so maybe global warming will catch us first
I prefer auction when I know I have zero chance of winning the league. Just drive up bidding prices and fuck with everyone else.
Ours are largely unwritten, the result of that year’s commisioner’s recall of vicious but inconclusive email (now Slack) debates
yeah, I very briefly considered making Saquon my 2nd “Super Franchise” keeper (for the uninitiated, that means greater of “Top 5 positional average” salary or 10% raise). Then, I was like, fuck it, I will pass or just keep the Tomsulas D/ST. YES, my roster is that sad.
Meh, salary, raises, not in my other non mathlete leagues!
Anywhoo my question is how does the clusterfuck at NO qb affect bitchin Kamara?
Anywhoo my question is how does the clusterfuck at NO qb affect bitchin Kamara?
Does Dakota Jeebus bounce back with a competent O line ?
Question 1: Kamara breaks down this year, independent of the qb situation. He’s had upward of 200 touches every year, even when splitting time. He’s been durable and mostly reliable. For a running back, that means he’s a dead man walking
Question 2: Wentz will be at the fringes of the upper third of qbs, but quietly. Like Jeff George with the Vikings.
You know he’s not Good, but he’s not the reason they’re losing
I think in PPR Kamara will be an ok play as many dump off passes from Mormon man or Crab Legs.Dakota Jesus will have a real good year just to fuck with Eagle fans as Jalen Hurts is NOT the answer.
I’m gonna try and steer clear of the Saints outright this year. I don’t believe. Sean Payton is more accomplished at being a divorced guy than he is at being a head coach, from what I understand.And Wentz is gonna continue to be shit because he refuses to take criticism and feedback from anyone. He’ll have a bad year and figure out a way to blame everyone but himself for his failures… but especially THE LIBS, whose hatred for America and its freedom throw his seven-step dropbacks out of sync.
Funny thing is, apparently Magic Undies Guy doesn’t read “back in the flat” very well, and checks down to QB draw instead. Seems Rapey Jameis is the golden ticket for Bitchin’ Kamara.
What about the “planned rest” concept, given the 17-game schedule? I am skeptical we see much of it right out of the gate, but perhaps there is an efficiency to be played there? Or at least Grumblelord may get a new toy for fucking with fantasy enthusiasts.
Planned rest (outside the current meaningless-final-game scenarios) will not be a thing for two to four years, because it violates the Meathead Football Coach Gospel of that you play at 1000% all the time until your spleen falls out.
During those 2-4 years, we will see an increase in “overuse” injuries and injuries caused by compensating for another injury (knee issues caused by playing through ankle problems)
I also assume that rotator cuff injuries among qbs will increase, between more attempts per game and an additional full game
Belichick will never planned-rest a player, because he is old and desperate to show it wasn’t all Tom Terrific
Micheal Thomas is hurt. Stay away from the Aints.What are the 500s going to do with rubbytouchy when nothing is settled yet? No team in their right mind should trade any capital for him.
Houston is gonna Houston: fuck around until the situation is utterly untenable, then resolve it in an incredibly disadvantageous way
The fact that the Eagles are the main contenders is telling: they seem to be developing a similar culture
Plus, if your fanbase embraced post-prison Vick, you can probably bet they will accept Watson as long as he’s playing well
Or jump ship and get on the Bills Wagon
It’s gonna be crowded this year, and not just because we’re mostly tubby
They are a goddamned embarrassment, but mostly in a golden-retriever-crotchbombing-a-visitor sense. It comes from a mostly pure and simpleminded place
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