Request Line: Weekend At Zuernie’s – Part 3 (Directors)

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are yet again hard at work in their office.  One – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is standing in front of a whiteboard covered with post-it notes that contain unfamiliar names.  The other – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is pacing back and forth pointing from card to card, nodding or shaking his head.  A third person in the office is lounging on the couch, throwing a football up in the air to himself and catching it.

COLE BEASLEY: So where when do we actually start shooting?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [glances at him] Is that all you think about?  Just take an Uber up to Burbank, there’s easily half a dozen gun ranges up there.

COLE BEASLEY: No, no, I mean the film.

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: We’re not filming anything until we’ve got a director lined up.

COLE BEASLEY: Is that what all of those names are?

RTD: That’s right, Cole.

COLE BEASLEY: How come I ain’t never heard of none of those fellas?

DTZM: [points at a card] You haven’t heard of Giovanni Campari?

COLE BEASLEY: Nope.

RTD: What about Nick Punch?

COLE BEASLEY: [shakes his head]

DTZM: Eleanorita Chihuahua?

RTD: J.M.T. Marconi-Masterson?

COLE BEASLEY: No.

DTZM: Svetlana Chernobyl?

RTD: Vincent O. Vincenzo?

DTZM: What about Hudson Spacecastle?

RTD: You have to have heard of Hudson Spacecastle.

COLE BEASLEY: No, no, and NO.  Damnit, who are these people?  You guys can’t hire someone like, I don’t know, Steven Jewlaser…I mean Spielberg?

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS and RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY erupt into laughter that lasts an uncomfortably long time.

DTZM: Actually, we don’t do projects with Steven anymore.

RTD: Very difficult to work with.

DTZM: We talked about this, though. We’re looking for an outsider. 

COLE BEASLEY: Is that what all those names are?

RTD: [gestures at whiteboard] Those names are actually the names of music video directors.

DTZM: We’ve found that it’s an excellent well of untapped talent.

RTD: Plus, they work cheap.

DTZM: David Fincher got his start directing music videos, if you can believe it.

COLE BEASLEY raises his eyebrows in surprise.

RTD: You do know who David Fincher is, right Cole?

COLE BEASLEY: OF COURSE I DO YOU TRYIN’ TO CALL ME STUPID?

DTZM: Of course not, Cole.  Let’s revisit some of his work, though.  He became well-known because he used the music video as a means to do more than just promote a song – many of his videos became rather iconic.

RTD: And the best of them told an actual story.

DTZM: Speaking of which…we’ve got an episode of Request Line that is well past due, so let’s use that a theme.

RTD: Music videos as short films?

DTZM: Exactly.  I’ll get us started with one that Fincher did with a little band called “Aerosmith”.

Today’s theme is: Music Videos as Short Films. We’re looking for songs whose videos tell a genuine story.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7+4_11uV!a and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Subscribe
Notify of
159 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Dunstan
Dunstan
Dunstan

This one is sort of a parody of various tv shows, but it does present a continuous (if silly) story:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqS72pTvN04

litre_cola

Robert Smith has said this song is a story about masturbation. Great video if you know that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY-zoTZjSVM

BeefReeferLives
Dunstan

Could probably do an entire Request Line on that theme. “She Bop”

Dunstan
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

It tells a story. No one knows what it is, but it’s a story.

BeefReeferLives

“I never said the story had to make sense.” – RTD

Dunstan
BeefReeferLives

Would the western scenes be enough for this to be considered a double shot?
I would think there is enough of a plot…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0DK-0fIKCw

BeefReeferLives

Here’s one about Ozzy taking drugs and turning into a crazed monster.
So, a documentary…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZncJyec4i4s

BeefReeferLives
rockingdog
Horatio Cornblower

Here’s the story of a married 45+ year old rock star meeting and eventually a marrying a 19 year old supermodel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuZA6qiJVfU

He dies in the end.

BeefReeferLives

Awww. They left out the part about him cutting her out of the will.

Horatio Cornblower

Still in litigation, so we don’t know how that ends.

Guess there will have to be a sequel.

King Hippo

Dunno how I neglected to take this firstest:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN-xVSlnWKQ

BeefReeferLives

Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, girl goes to dentist.
Kinda like the plot of Little Shop of Horrors without the carnivorous plant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dOx510kyOs

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
BeefReeferLives
King Hippo

this may be my very favoUrite rap song

BeefReeferLives
Spur
BeefReeferLives

A re-make of this for today would do well, I think…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yq7FKO5DlV0

Horatio Cornblower

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w7OgIMMRc4

It’s the story of a gay metal band in a factory that makes sparks.

This is the video I always think of when I hear Patton Oswalt’s routine about 80’s metal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs4v-zexx8M

SonOfSpam

“Those videos were gayer than 8 guys blowin 9 guys” -did he say that phrase first?

Horatio Cornblower

Yes.

And I’ve said it about a million times since.

Also “Maybe I can get the guys from Haircut 100 to fuck me cuz I’m not gettin’ any cock from the guys in ‘Jackyl’ with a ‘Y’!”

SonOfSpam

I’ve also said it too many times to count. Nice to know the source finally.

SonOfSpam

Elisha Cuthbert is the high=maintenance lead singer of Weeze but her act wears thin so Rivers Cuomo replaces her and the band is renamed Weezer. I wouldn’t kick Elisha Vuthbert out of my band or anything else.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwv-iRvyDZg&ab_channel=WeezerVEVO

Spur
Horatio Cornblower

I was trying to remember that one.

Spur
2Pack
TheRevanchist

How can anyone not have picked this one up yet? IT HAS KEANU!

https://youtu.be/yqyIaNWP0T0

Horatio Cornblower

Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler in a video that probably should have gotten someone arrested.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMNgbISmF4I

2Pack
SonOfSpam
Horatio Cornblower

Really? This didn’t go first?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA

Spur

i cant see shit.

Last edited 3 years ago by Spur
SonOfSpam

“Not the one I want”

=J. Fogle

Spur

odd. my browser is displaying the youtube page with a shadow.
I am on a work laptop

BeefReeferLives
Spur

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbUC-UaAxE&ab
The Stagger Lee wouldnt post – so here

Last edited 3 years ago by Spur
King Hippo

I was indeed thinking of this’un

litre_cola
Spur

It’s basically Portlandia’s Romeo and Juliet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJXQSBWO5Qc&ab

BeefReeferLives
BrettFavresColonoscopy
King Hippo

please please please don’t link “One”

/PTSD from teenage nightmares there

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Brandon Flowers likes the story-telling. Which is nice.

BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Chick gets weird haircut, abusive asshole hates it, she embarrasses him at an event, tale as old as time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uejh-bHa4To&ab_channel=TilTuesdayVEVO

SonOfSpam
King Hippo
King Hippo
litre_cola

As we have discussed we have very similar music tastes but I fucking hate Cold War Kids with a passion.

King Hippo

HERESY

BeefReeferLives

To tie this post & Sharkbait’s cocktail post together, here’s Simon getting a lil action in the jungle…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJL-lCzEXgI

Gumbygirl
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Nice theme! This is taking me back to the halcyon days of my misspent youth.

Horatio Cornblower

I was going for this, but knew I had the check.

I was not surprised.

Dunstan
BeefReeferLives
Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives