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Your “Beware the Ides of….August, I Guess” Sunday Night Open Thread

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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If you’re reading this, you already know: All the first week NFL pre-season games are over.  In fact, there was only one NFL/football-like substance on today, Panthers at Gravyboats. Others have covered “what Friday meant” and “are the XXXX for real?” and “do the Texans exist?” With the exception of that last one, extrapolating anything from a glorified scrimmage is fraught/not worth the chewing gum stowed on the underboob of one of JJ’s hookers. Pre-season or not, 10 Saturday football games and 1 Sunday is unnatural and not enough to whet tonight’s appetite of the football-hungry dickjoking audience. Plus the Olympics are over, and even the corn maze game went the distance.   So what are we left with tonight:

Dodgers v Mets, 6pm DFO time, ESPN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nashville SC vs DC United, 6pm DFO time, ESPN+

Jazz v Clippers (NBA Summer League), 4PM DFO time, ESPN2

TWolves v Rockets (NBA Summer League), 6PM DFO time, ESPN2 (and TSN2 for America’s Hat)

Warriors vs Pelicans, (NBA Summer League), 8PM DFO time, ESPN2 (and TSN2 for America’s Hat)

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s all we got.

I’m going to watch absolutely none of that. I recommend replays of AFL games (the GWS-Richo game was a barnburner), possibly finally catching up on Loki, and clutching your (vaccinated) loved ones tightly before the heat death of the universe. Or at least talking to internet strangers whilst hoisting (and then quaffing) a potent potable. Relevant topics so I can avoid an aneurysm talking about covidiocy in this country?

Hmmmmm, I’m back to flying again for work (until things shut down again, but that takes us back to Delta rants), and while I missed some aspects of work travel, I would love to just….not for a while.  But I have been fortunate enough to see some amazing things thanks to work travel. The highlight may have been going to Russia, and while St. Petersburg was by far the prettiest stop on the trip, there was something amazing about seeing St. Basil’s Cathedral in all its glory late at night.

Still reminds me of Tetris

It was almost surreal, walking around the square past the statue of Lenin, jetlagged, sleep deprived, and overscheduled thinking that it was the non-Rock Ridge version of a Potemkin Village. That made no sense but you know what I meant. It was gorgeous, and there really was vodka flowing at just about every meal. Good times.

Anyhoodles, what’s your favorite / most memorable work trip?  Do you miss work travel?  What does a horseshoe do? Are the horse socks?  Discuss.

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Gumbygirl

I am whooped from having to be nice today! See ya tomorrow, lovely lizard people!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You mean ‘pooped’. Getting ‘whooped’ is what happens to a child when they spill cookie crumbs on the carpet.” – Tyreek Hill

1
LemonJello

Adrian Petersen looks to see who’s watching before nodding in agreement.

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Gumbygirl

Just got back from visiting the fam. My father in law was in his room talking to a friend from PA, and he was telling him about Gumby. He said “you should see him Frank, long beard and his hair’s even longer. He looks like a bum!” My nephew was horrified, and told him we could all hear him. I laughed and laughed. I think Gumby was outside and didn’t hear it, but it made me giggle!

Last edited 4 years ago by Gumbygirl
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Dunstan

Your in-laws are probably disinfecting the couch now.

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Gumbygirl

Nah, his dad just isn’t used to seeing him with long hair. Not since high school anyway. And his beard is really spectacular!

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Dunstan

Oh, that’s not what I meant. It has to do with your history with their couches…

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Gumbygirl

The fertility couch!

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Doktor Zymm

Good to know that people of all ages think bums can’t get a decent shave or haircut!

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Gumbygirl

Shave and a haircut, TWO BITS! You’ll just have to imagine Bugs Bunny singing it, I’m too lazy to find the gif.

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Doktor Zymm

I know what you’re talking about, it’s good stuff

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Gumbygirl

I’m glad you know what I’m talking about, I seldom do!

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Dunstan

Oh hey, I just remembered why I knew there was something about the devil and horseshoes — it involves St. Dunstan:

A Saint, the Devil, and Why Horseshoes are Lucky – Drawing Covert (wordpress.com)

Dunstan is said to have been working at his forge when the Devil appeared disguised as a traveler. The devil asks to have a horseshoe replaced on his horse. Dunstan sees through the Devil’s disguise and manages to trick him and nail the horseshoe tightly to the Devil’s hoof rather than the horse’s. This causes the Devil great pain. Dunstan forces the Devil to agree not to enter any building with a horseshoe mounted above the door in exchange for the removal of the horseshoe from his foot.

The details of this story vary widely, as it’s been told and retold for 1000 years. Sometimes the Devil appears as a woman to tempt Dunstan but he sees her cloven hooves. Sometimes the horseshoe is hot and burns the Devil’s foot until he agrees to Dunstan’s terms. There is a popular related tale in which Dunstan grabs the Devil by the nose with hot tongs. 

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Doktor Zymm

Well done Dunstan!

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Dunstan

I think I deserve a drink for that.

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Doktor Zymm

I concur, in fact, give yourself two if you want them

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Dunstan

Can’t have one of them getting lonely.

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Doktor Zymm

That would be a travesty

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Dunstan

THIS AFGHAN GOVERNMENT, I CALL IT THE ATLANTA FALCONS, BECAUSE THEY JUST HAD A MASSIVE COLLAPSE IN A SHORT TIME AND LOST TO SOMEBODY HATED BY ALL GOOD AND DECENT PEOPLE

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Doktor Zymm

Plus one, but damn that’s brutal. If we’re at that part of the night…
THIS NATION CALLED HAITI, I CALL IT THE CINCINNATI BENGALS, BECAUSE THEY KEEP HAVING MAJOR SETBACKS AND LOTS OF PEOPLE GET HURT IN THE PROCESS

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Gumbygirl

I don’t believe in the God stuff, but it sure seems like someone has it out for poor Haiti. Bad juju!

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Doktor Zymm

Indeed, the only other place that’s close is Somalia, and I don’t think they’ve had a drought for a while, so they aren’t getting hit as hard as Haiti right now

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

OH SHIT YOU GUYS! THEY BLEW THE WHOLE DEAL WIDE OPEN! THEY CAUGHT US RED-HANDED! THE JIG IS UP!

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>JOE IS NOTY AT CAMP DAVID!<br><br>THE WHOLE TV IS PHOTOSHOPPED INTO THE OLD PICTURE!<br><br>The current time difference is 2 hours so this picture could not have been taken today. The whole TV is fake and this was not today. <a href=”https://t.co/Twzv4PmkpM”>pic.twitter.com/Twzv4PmkpM</a></p>&mdash; SCUBA MIKE https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/13.1.0/svg/1f93f.svg (@SCUBA2024) <a href=”https://twitter.com/SCUBA2024/status/1427063477152190467?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>August 16, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The clocks don’t match!

Last edited 4 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Look! Moscow and London are only supposed to be 2 hours apart! There must be some grand conspiracy afoot!

E84W1uGXMAQThWx.jpg
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Doktor Zymm

They just forgot to do daylight savings on the London clock, right? THOSE SNEAKY BASTARDS!

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Doktor Zymm

Someone on Twitter said it? Random people on Twitter are always trustworthy, IT MUST BE TRUE!!1

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

These people are so fantastically stupid it defies belief. They’re 100% certain they have figured out that the photo was taken in mid-March because the time difference between London and D.C. was six hours during those two weeks (due to various time change nonsense).

https://mobile.twitter.com/SCUBA2024/status/1427083012936716288

Last edited 4 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But they’re too fucking stupid to realize that the difference between 11:29 and 16:29 is, in fact, five hours.

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Dunstan

But, look!

*counts on fingers* 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 — that’s six!

That’s SCIENCE!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, that brings me back to this legendary argument on bodybuilding.com about how many days are in a week:

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=107926751

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Dunstan

I was thinking of that same thing!

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Doktor Zymm

I wouldn’t actually mind having 2 Sundays in each week though

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Gumbygirl

Every day is like Sunday. That’s what Morrissey says, and he’s a genius. That’s also what Morrissey says.

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Senor Weaselo

That’s music math!

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Dunstan

Just finished a lot of salmon sushi. I feel like a bear ready for hibernation. I mean, a bear that drinks alcohol.

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Doktor Zymm

Smarter than the average bear!

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Dunstan

“Hey, Boo Boo! There’s a fifth of scotch in this pic-a-nic basket!”

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Doktor Zymm

comment image

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’re a party bear!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0Xsqo-n_AE

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blaxabbath

You Candadiens all been to Magnetic Hill?

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Dunstan

My parents were of the “let’s drive across the country for our vacation!” persuasion. So there aren’t many cheesy roadside attractions in Canada that I didn’t see in my childhood.

Dad was also a big fan of “let’s get a picture of us in front of the sign announcing that we’re entering the Mountain Time Zone” or whatever.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Is your last name Griswold, by any chance?

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Dunstan

Yeah, I almost said, that was us minus the wacky hijinx and Christie Brinkley.

Also, I did not have a slutty cousin. Well, not that I know of, anyway.

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Doktor Zymm

Share your favorites?

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Dunstan

There were none. Pretty much all lame.

Magnetic Hill was fine, I guess. Doesn’t take that long, and it is sort of interesting.

Panning for gold at some old gold mine in Nova Scotia was ok.

But mostly I got through it with my Walkman, and many of those invisible ink activity books.

Also, I once had a water pistol that I used to shoot at other cars on the Trans Canada Highway. #thuglife

Then I dropped it out the window by mistake and it was gone. #scaredstraight

2
Redshirt

SPOILER ALERT:

Okay, live action Jasmine is winning me over. I also liked how they pulled a Richard Donner Superman II cut and had her not only figure out who the hero was by herself but trick him into revealing himself. It shows she’s an intelligent resourceful woman and not “a price to be won”.

Live action Aladdin is doing an okay job, but he’s like a old lawnmower with water in the gas: when he runs he runs fine but sometimes he stalls and its take some effort to get him started again.

Lois shoots Clark – Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut – YouTube

Last edited 4 years ago by Redshirt
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Sharkbait

My new job is 100% remote, but I hope to get some travel in somehow. Our customer show/convention is also in Vegas. Hoping I can weasel my way there next year

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Doktor Zymm

Is everyone full remote, or is there some sort of home office? Should be able to get a trip or two per year to that office if so

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Sharkbait

The home office unfortunately is a 15 minute drive from my house, so that trip probably will happen about once a month.

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Doktor Zymm

Bummer. Sounds like the convention is your best bet.

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rockingdog

last funny:

ME: Are you sure you’re my Uber driver

GIANT HAWK CARRYING ME AWAY: *various hawk noises*

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Redshirt

Cool Way to Die – YouTube

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My first work trip was to a facility in Letterkenney, Ireland. I was there to optimize a production line. Any fantasies I had about business travel being “vacation” went up in 12-hour days’ worth of smoke. Accomodations were divine – we were put up in an old castle but man did we work hard.

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Doktor Zymm

My first work trip was a completely gratuitous trip to Phoenix at my first job. At my second job I got a pretty awesome work trip to NYC for a conference. Then a few trips at FB, with the best one being a recruiting trip to Chicago. Recruiters are fun, and know how to spend company money!
I would have had quite a lot of work travel if Covid hadn’t hit, including travel to London, since we have a sister team there. My new manager is all about a bunch of trips to London when work travel is a thing again, so that’s actually one point in favor of sticking with my current job. I could also probably wangle a research trip to somewhere else in the EU, or even maybe Brazil. This is a good reminder to ask recruiters about travel policies while interviewing…

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blaxabbath

Fascinating.

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Sharkbait

Second work trip was to NAB in Vegas. It overlapped with a bachelor party I was going to. I finished the conference and went out to dinner with industry people. When I made it to the suite the party was staying in, they told me that was the drunkest they’d ever see me.

Broadcast people can drink.

Also Pieros in Vegas is the shit.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh good, the stars aligned and Essendon managed to get into the final playoff position with one week left in the season. They control their own destiny! Even better, they are playing a 5-16 team next week!

So why am I filled with such dread?

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Doktor Zymm

Because you are not naive?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The hell I’m not!

[starts getting excited for yet another season of RAIDERS football]

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Redshirt

You poor naïve bastard.

(takes Bengals shirts and sweatshirts out of storage)

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Redshirt

“So why am I filled with such dread?”

You get used to it. Take it from me, as long as you have dread, you are never alone.

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Redshirt

So the English actress gets cast as the Agrabahian Princess, but the actress who was born in Iran, which is pretty close to where Agrabah is theorized to be, get cast as her handmaiden.

I’m not sure what I’m upset about, the possible cultural misappropriation or Nasim Pedrad’s talents going to waste.

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Doktor Zymm

Why not both?

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Redshirt

Somehow the word “more” escaped me. If someone finds it running around the Clubhouse, please let me know so I can return it back to my last sentence where it belongs.

2
Dunstan

Martini time? I think it is.

(Technically, it’ll be a Gibson.)

0
Redshirt

(while watching Prince Ali entire Agrabah)

Me: “Hey, its the Taliban entering Kabul!”

God: (Punching my Express Ticket to Hell)

2
Dunstan

I think my first work trip was to Tampa. I may have been the first man to go to Tampa on business and not visit a strip club.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s pretty rough that you ended up getting chlamydia anyways.

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Dunstan

Eh, they would have handed it to me at the airport if I didn’t get it already. Some sort of Florida law apparently.

1
Doktor Zymm

And horseshoes can do a lot of things! In addition to protecting the horse’s hooves, they can correct minor defects in the horse’s gait and provide pain relief from some chronic conditions by redistributing weight across the hoof. Sometimes pads are placed under the shoe, covering the sole and frog. You could consider these horse socks if you want 🙂

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

If you nail one upside down above your entrtway, it will catch all the bad luck tries to get. At least that’s what I have heard; not quite sure how that works, though.

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Doktor Zymm

I think that superstition goes back to the idea that iron wards of evil spirits

It probably does not work with an aluminum or titanium horseshoe

Last edited 4 years ago by Doktor Zymm
1
Dunstan

I think iron is supposed to be effective against the Fey. Horseshoes have a particular protection against the devil, though, I think — I believe there’s a folktale about the devil making a deal with a blacksmith?

0
Doktor Zymm

Because even the devil’s horse needs shoeing I think. The Terry Pratchett Discworld book “Lords and Ladies” has versions of all this stuff. I should go back to rereading the whole series once a year, I took a hiatus after his death because sad.

0
Redshirt

I’m watching the live-action Aladdin movie (I started in the middle). First impressions: Will Smith seems to be an admirable job as Genie, but the guy who did Aladdin seems to be just there and doesn’t have the charm and charisma as Scott Weinger. Don’t get me wrong, Robin Williams was the star of the movie, but it helped that Aladdin was a nice character you could like and root for.

Also, I missed the Bengals game because my friends decided to invite me to go out on Saturday Night. So, I missed out on how you can screw up an Extra Point Attempt. From what I can tell, the Bengals seem to be playing with a little bit more effort which is nice. Maybe Burrow will be able to last into October before he falls apart like the Black Knight in Monty Python.

Last edited 4 years ago by Redshirt
2
Doktor Zymm

Finished the takehome thingy for PayPal, and I had to take the other bottle of that overly sweet rose out of the freezer to make room for all the frozen mandu, steamed buns, and Korean ice cream treats I got from H-mart, so now I am going to drink the aforementioned too sweet wine!

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

It’s been a few years since I’ve travelled for work even BC( before Covid) but never really enjoyed it. I worked for for banks and insurance and the like so never got to go anywhere nice as the head offices are in cheaper city’s. The nicest place was Jacksonville for a conference. That’s just sad.

The only thing I do miss is the seeing of my coworkers as the place I work for is mainly work from home in the US and Canada, and the only time we get together is when we travel.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what still sucks? LAXit

0
King Hippo

Did you do the little Tetris man dance after taking the above picture?

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Sharkbait

My first business trip was working for the hockey team. I went to Chantilly Virginia to Ticketmaster training. I remember going to a bar with my bosses and they weren’t going to let me in because it was August and my birthday is in September. Except I had turned 21 a year ago, and we fought over basic math.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

My first business trip was so long ago that I can’t remember who or what it was for.

1
Anthony In TX

We had a spot of rain down in Houston earlier this evening. A note to all Houston drivers:

You don’t need to put your hazard flashers on when driving in the rain. It doesn’t make you more visible. It doesn’t call to my attention the hazardous conditions of the road; as I am on the road as well, I am aware that it is raining. If your headlights are on, your taillights are on, therefore I can already see your vehicle. You’re creating more of a distraction with your flashing lights. You’re making the road more dangerous. You. Don’t. Need. Your. Flashers. On. When. It’s. Raining.

In short, Houston drivers: STOP IT.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I lived in Houston in 1978 and 1995. Horrible place to drive. Here in San Antonio, you can always tell the Houston transplants by the way they drive. Passing traffic jams in the breakdown lane, waiting till the last second to cross three lanes of traffic to take an exit at the last second, etc. They are almost as bad as Kuwaiti or Afghan drivers.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
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Anthony In TX

It’s really so terrible I’m almost proud of it. At least I know I can drive damn near anywhere in the country and be fine.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Can’t find a pic that will embed. Fuck it, y’all are smart enough to figure out what I am talking about.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Didn’t take long, did it?

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Viva La Tabula Raza

At least this time was a Chinook not a Huey. More passenger room.

1
scotchnaut

I once went on a business trip to a small community outside Hamilton, Ontario. While there I was pitched a blatantly illegal proposal-I nodded politely and got the hell out of that guy’s ‘compound’ (it took me forever to find the building he was in but I was helped in the end by a heavily armed guard) and never spoke to him again.

3
Don T

I would love to go to Russia. They do bleakness like no other.

3
yeah right

Death by vodka and cigarettes. Could be worse ways to die.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Unfiltered cigarettes. Or if filtered, the filters are made out of fibrous asbestos.

2
Don T

Last work trip I had was in Philadelphia. Finished the first day early, got drunk, and a transexual took advantage of my impaired state.

She was with the Philly ACLU and I wound up donating $20.

Monthly for a year.

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

Was her name Lola?

1
yeah right

Watched the recording of Freo vs West Coast Eagles and it was satisfying. Way more of a nail biter than it needed to be though. Think the Dockers are still alive!

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Not familiar with the vernacular, but Freo and Dockers makes me think of Perth’s port city Fremantle? I spent a liberty week there about 37 years ago. I almost deserted, went over the hill…

2
yeah right

That is correct sir. I’m a Dockers fan and they do hail from Fremantle.

1
Dunstan

It’s a close call between NYT Pitchbot and Glem Greenwald for “parody account that is frighteningly closest to the real thing.”

1
yeah right

I’ve spent several weeks in San Francisco across a couple of decades and 2 different jobs. The first time was a 2 1/2 week stay that happened about a week after the Loma Prieta Earthquake in 1989. It was fucking surreal but stupid fun and there was a great feeling of resilience from the locals.

Incredible time in my life. Plus youngest right was like a week old when I left.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a gorgeous picture!

One of the reasons I majored in Electrical Engineering was because I thought I would follow my dad’s path and travel the world for work.

As it turned out, I got in a different industry and the furthest I’ve traveled for work has been Sacramento (although there was that one training in Phoenix, but I think that’s actually closer to LA).
/ checks Google
Yup, just barely.

Which is to say that I’m jealous you got to go to Russia for work. I’ve always wanted to go there.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

It is indeed a beautiful pic, mainly because I didn’t take it. Thanks, internet! The only pictures I have from that trip are on a blackberry I no longer possess. Some slim chance they’re on an old MacBook, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

You should write up something about that Russia trip. I’d love to read it. I’ve always been fascinated with what it’s like there.

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