Request Line: Weekend At Zuernie’s – Part 5 (Hooks)

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers have broken their own personal record for how long they have remained hard at work in their office.  One – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is standing in front of a blank whiteboard, a marker in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.  The other – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is seated in an office chair a few feet away, holding a copy of the script.  A third person in the office is lounging on the couch, throwing a football up in the air to himself and catching it.  

COLE BEASLEY: So lemme get this straight.  You fellas are gonna figure out all the advertising stuff before we actually shoot the film?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Oh, absolutely.

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: It’s fairly typical to have a good idea of how the film is going to be marketed before it’s shot.

RTD: That way the director can make informed choices when it’s time to make decisions.

DTZM: We’ll revisit this process once we’ve got a rough cut…

RTD: Obviously.

DTZM: …but in the movie business it’s important to stay in front of things.

COLE BEASLEY: Kind of like pre-snap motion so you can figure out if the defense is running man or zone?

RTD: Exactly like that!

DTZM: Right now we’re working on taglines.

COLE BEASLEY: How about “THE CHINA VIRUS IS A HOAX AND IT WILL GO AWAY LIKE A MIRACLE.”

RTD: Yeah…let’s put that one in the ‘maybe’ pile.

DTZM: We need something with a little more ‘snap’ to it.

COLE BEASLEY: “With just two weeks left until Reinstatement Day…THEY’VE GOT A LITTLE TIME TO KILL.”

RTD: That’s…really not consistent with the script you’ve written Cole.

COLE BEASLEY: Yeah but it sounds cool.

DTZM: It makes it sound like you and Surfin’ Jack are the ones who killed her.

RTD: When it was actually just…[pages through the script]…a heart attack.

DTZM: …that she happens to suffer after having been on a ventilator for twelve days.

COLE BEASLEY: Right, she died with COVID, not of COVID.

RTD: [reading on]…after [quoting directly from the script] “someone who looks exactly like Chuck Jew-mer” injected an air bubble into her IV drip…

DTZM: …because she knew too much about the pedophile ring operating out of the pizza shop in Mystic.

COLE BEASLEY: Yup.

RTD: So basically what we need is a tagline that gets that idea across.

DTZM: As well as informs the viewer that you and Surfin’ Jack will be pretending she’s still alive in order to draw her killers out from hiding…

RTD: And expose the conspiracy.

DTZM: It’s a lot to squeeze into a quip.

RTD: Maybe we should listen to some music while we’re at it.

DTZM: Oh, I like that idea.  [raises Apple Watch to his mouth, with an exaggerated flourish so the others can see he’s able to do it with his hands full] SIRI, PLAY SOMETHING WITH A GOOD HOOK.

SIRI: ALL RIGHT.  PLAYING “HOOK” BY BLUES TRAVELER.

DTZM: Damnit, SIRI, CANCEL.  Know any songs that have a good hook?

RTD: Oh, I know a bunch.  But this is the first one that comes to mind.

Today’s theme is: “hooks”.  As defined by wikipedia, a hook is “a musical idea, often a short riff, passage, or phrase, that is used in popular music to make a song appealing and to ‘catch the ear of the listener’.”  We’re looking for songs that contain something like that – you should know it when you hear it.  Last week’s puzzle spelled out “Andie Walsh” which was, of course, a hint for “Pretty in Pink”.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=’p30P13_0n_5Tr33t5′ and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can’t deny this hook or lyrics
https://youtu.be/JlmzUEQxOvA

BeefReeferLives

NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!

scotchnaut
yeah right

This better be the full version, dammit!

yeah right

Oh fuck yes, Scotchy.

scotchnaut
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

A rather un-Pink Floydish Pink Floyd song. Quite hooky.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWhOd0ENVS8

scotchnaut

Try to get that xylophone (I think it’s a xylophone) riff out your head after listening to this wee ditty. Not sorry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb-rihW_SwU&ab_channel=AlexandreSilva

BeefReeferLives

Xylophone hook Double Shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhbyj8pqUao

BeefReeferLives
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

My favorite Hooks is ’14 in the side pocket’

https://youtu.be/7SdIJimk-w8

BeefReeferLives

God he was great. His fucking cokehead wife…. Ghaaaa.

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

Shall we go Meta? That Popper guy sure can suck and blow tho.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdz5kCaCRFM&ab_channel=BluesTravelerVEVO

Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
Anthony In TX

I saw them live at the HORDE Fest in 1995 or so. It was surprisingly terrible. They played one long medley of (mostly) their biggest songs, and Popper’s harmonica came off shrill and annoying.
Side note: the main stage also featured Rusted Root (really fun because they took their drums out into the crowd), Lenny Kravitz (brought the fuckin’ house down because this was before his music started sucking), and Dave Matthews Band (awesome because I was a 16 year old white dude).

BeefReeferLives

I had the same experience the only time I saw them. Buddy Guy opened for them. (who the fuck made THAT call?) After a few songs, I decided that I had seen the real deal earlier, and left to go get all good n’ high.

Anthony In TX

I think you made the right decision.

BeefReeferLives

If that ain’t right, I wanna be wrong.

Anthony In TX

His early stuff was great, but then he settled into his formula of “short verses and single-line chorus repeated ad nauseam.” Also, his cover of “American Woman” was a crime against humanity.

Gumbygirl

His greatest hit

images (18).jpeg
Anthony In TX

Imagine the embarrassment if he had a lil’ baby carrot poking out.
I mean, he’s still a millionaire rock star, but just imagine!

scotchnaut

This super easy riff must be in the top 5.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUwEIt9ez7M&ab_channel=RetroRock

BeefReeferLives

Ummmmmmmmm… comment image/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/300?cb=20160517032026

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

Not best mind you, I was thinking of recognizability.

BeefReeferLives

I was referring to posting the same song below. Sorry if it’s dickish of me to point it out.

scotchnaut

I swear I scrolled! Fuckballs.

/as for being dickish, we’ve got very thick skin around here.

edit/ well what the hell, half the tunes below weren’t showing up for me

Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
BeefReeferLives

Thank Baal for thick skinned chums…

Gumbygirl

There’s no crying in Request Line!

BeefReeferLives
yeah right

Why do I picture Senor Weaselo when I hear this?

Dunstan

I’m not saying it’s a GOOD song, but it has an undeniably catchy hook:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHozn0YXAeE

scotchnaut
Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
BeefReeferLives

Insert Matt Gaetz joke here.

Dunstan
Anthony In TX

Nada Surf was popular because of the song “Popular” (ironically enough), but they had approximately eleventy billion other incredible songs. This one’s my favorite:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RgteX-IJNw&feature=youtu.be

BeefReeferLives
Anthony In TX

True story: I thought this was a Santana song for the longest time. Like, I only discovered it was Steely Dan a few years ago.

Anthony In TX

They been so consistently good for so long! They have their following but should absolutely be WAY bigger than they are.

BeefReeferLives

I was wrong about the 5th having the Ur hook. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrojrDCI02k

BeefReeferLives

Weird, didn’t show up at first. Embedding wigginess afoot!

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl

I know, I posted Blister in the Sun earlier, and it got banhammered. Weird!

BeefReeferLives

That happened to me last week with anything I tried to post from Booker T & the MG’s. I originally thought I had pissed RTD off somehow. I have been informed that it’s due to the filter they use to keep fuckheads from hijacking the site. (or something like that)

BeefReeferLives

That happened to me last week whenever I tried to post something from a certain band. I just tried to reply to you about it, and it banned me again!! Apparently there is something about a certain groove band that the filter doesn’t like, as well as others.

BeefReeferLives

It was any song from ooker-B T. & th’ MGs (?) At first I thought that I had somehow pissed RTD off, but was told it was due to filters used to keep e-dickheads from hijacking shit.

Gumbygirl

Fuck it, we’ll just sing it really loud!
🎵When I’ma walkin, I strut my stu-uff
And I’m so strung out.
I’m high as I kite…🎵
Dammit, I knew I was forgetting something. It is doobie o’clock!

BeefReeferLives

When is it not doobie o’clock?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1NRszBfX8w

BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam
BeefReeferLives
2Pack
yeah right

Tony Iommi was the Hook Master God.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noUYAPdLMp0

King Hippo

This is a very good cover, and the hook is superb:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REfPPpGIzDI

BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Even works as disco, which is was Ludwig Van originally intended

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JaHvcEiMBc&ab_channel=JuvenalGordon

SonOfSpam

Runny wildebeest shit?

BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Remember that time Stevie rattled all the windows on Sesame Street?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ul7X5js1vE&ab_channel=Ryan%27sSmashingLife

TheRevanchist
King Hippo

This may be my dear, departed pater familius’ favoUrite tune EVAR

SonOfSpam

Actually saw them open for Boston in 1987. I might be old and white.

Gumbygirl

I saw Boston in 77. I am older and whiter.

BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Probably not about literal baked goods.

BeefReeferLives

I share your assessment. (ever hear this version? Whole albums pretty fun)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRXACrjcdwI

SonOfSpam

Yeah, that’s some good stuff right there

BeefReeferLives

I think the drummer had some mighty heavy sticks. All the better to channel John.

SonOfSpam

Bonham was an absolute monster.

BeefReeferLives

Goddamn right he was. JOHN SMASH!!!!

2Pack

Outstanding album.

2Pack

Double album

BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

First thing anyone does when picking up an electric guitar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikGyZh0VbPQ&ab_channel=NoMadU55555

2Pack

As a kid I remember the guy next door played the opening riff… and only the opening riff. for one. Entire. Summer.

BeefReeferLives

You might have lived next to us. That was my brother…

2Pack

That song was pretty much nation wide back then. But if you were Milwaukee south side ’74, you may be right.

BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Here’s a song with a hook that also solves a problem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a01QQZyl-_I

Gumbygirl
2Pack
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Pretty much a series of hooks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X_2IdybTV0

Gumbygirl
BeefReeferLives
Anthony In TX

The piano solo that closes out Squirming Coil on that album is just awesome.