INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY
A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers have broken their own personal record for how long they have remained hard at work in their office. One – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is standing in front of a blank whiteboard, a marker in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. The other – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is seated in an office chair a few feet away, holding a copy of the script. A third person in the office is lounging on the couch, throwing a football up in the air to himself and catching it.
COLE BEASLEY: So lemme get this straight. You fellas are gonna figure out all the advertising stuff before we actually shoot the film?
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Oh, absolutely.
DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: It’s fairly typical to have a good idea of how the film is going to be marketed before it’s shot.
RTD: That way the director can make informed choices when it’s time to make decisions.
DTZM: We’ll revisit this process once we’ve got a rough cut…
RTD: Obviously.
DTZM: …but in the movie business it’s important to stay in front of things.
COLE BEASLEY: Kind of like pre-snap motion so you can figure out if the defense is running man or zone?
RTD: Exactly like that!
DTZM: Right now we’re working on taglines.
COLE BEASLEY: How about “THE CHINA VIRUS IS A HOAX AND IT WILL GO AWAY LIKE A MIRACLE.”
RTD: Yeah…let’s put that one in the ‘maybe’ pile.
DTZM: We need something with a little more ‘snap’ to it.
COLE BEASLEY: “With just two weeks left until Reinstatement Day…THEY’VE GOT A LITTLE TIME TO KILL.”
RTD: That’s…really not consistent with the script you’ve written Cole.
COLE BEASLEY: Yeah but it sounds cool.
DTZM: It makes it sound like you and Surfin’ Jack are the ones who killed her.
RTD: When it was actually just…[pages through the script]…a heart attack.
DTZM: …that she happens to suffer after having been on a ventilator for twelve days.
COLE BEASLEY: Right, she died with COVID, not of COVID.
RTD: [reading on]…after [quoting directly from the script] “someone who looks exactly like Chuck Jew-mer” injected an air bubble into her IV drip…
DTZM: …because she knew too much about the pedophile ring operating out of the pizza shop in Mystic.
COLE BEASLEY: Yup.
RTD: So basically what we need is a tagline that gets that idea across.
DTZM: As well as informs the viewer that you and Surfin’ Jack will be pretending she’s still alive in order to draw her killers out from hiding…
RTD: And expose the conspiracy.
DTZM: It’s a lot to squeeze into a quip.
RTD: Maybe we should listen to some music while we’re at it.
DTZM: Oh, I like that idea. [raises Apple Watch to his mouth, with an exaggerated flourish so the others can see he’s able to do it with his hands full] SIRI, PLAY SOMETHING WITH A GOOD HOOK.
SIRI: ALL RIGHT. PLAYING “HOOK” BY BLUES TRAVELER.
DTZM: Damnit, SIRI, CANCEL. Know any songs that have a good hook?
RTD: Oh, I know a bunch. But this is the first one that comes to mind.
Today’s theme is: “hooks”. As defined by wikipedia, a hook is “a musical idea, often a short riff, passage, or phrase, that is used in popular music to make a song appealing and to ‘catch the ear of the listener’.” We’re looking for songs that contain something like that – you should know it when you hear it. Last week’s puzzle spelled out “Andie Walsh” which was, of course, a hint for “Pretty in Pink”. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=’p30P13_0n_5Tr33t5′ and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.
A heavy hook.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVqyCeSFRYw
Such a beautiful hook… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Jj4s9I-53g
Can’t deny this hook or lyrics
https://youtu.be/JlmzUEQxOvA
NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!
Arena Rock Comin’ In Hot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfwsXn5n8HU&ab_channel=RHINO
This better be the full version, dammit!
Oh fuck yes, Scotchy.
“The simpler the riff the better.”
-?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOCOMYGIfUQ&ab_channel=QuestionMarkVEVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIuf_SPvX-Y
A rather un-Pink Floydish Pink Floyd song. Quite hooky.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWhOd0ENVS8
Try to get that xylophone (I think it’s a xylophone) riff out your head after listening to this wee ditty. Not sorry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb-rihW_SwU&ab_channel=AlexandreSilva
Xylophone hook Double Shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhbyj8pqUao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INx1H0fGOsA
I was worried that this topic would be too perplexing and not go well, but you folks have dispelled my fears. You are killing it.
My favorite Hooks is ’14 in the side pocket’
https://youtu.be/7SdIJimk-w8
God he was great. His fucking cokehead wife…. Ghaaaa.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AW14edk9w4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q3j-i7GLr0
Shall we go Meta? That Popper guy sure can suck and blow tho.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdz5kCaCRFM&ab_channel=BluesTravelerVEVO
I saw them live at the HORDE Fest in 1995 or so. It was surprisingly terrible. They played one long medley of (mostly) their biggest songs, and Popper’s harmonica came off shrill and annoying.
Side note: the main stage also featured Rusted Root (really fun because they took their drums out into the crowd), Lenny Kravitz (brought the fuckin’ house down because this was before his music started sucking), and Dave Matthews Band (awesome because I was a 16 year old white dude).
I had the same experience the only time I saw them. Buddy Guy opened for them. (who the fuck made THAT call?) After a few songs, I decided that I had seen the real deal earlier, and left to go get all good n’ high.
I think you made the right decision.
If that ain’t right, I wanna be wrong.
LENNY KRAVITZ HAS ALWAYS…actually, “Are You Gonna Go My Way” was entirely unobjectionable to me.
His early stuff was great, but then he settled into his formula of “short verses and single-line chorus repeated ad nauseam.” Also, his cover of “American Woman” was a crime against humanity.
His greatest hit
Imagine the embarrassment if he had a lil’ baby carrot poking out.
I mean, he’s still a millionaire rock star, but just imagine!
This super easy riff must be in the top 5.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUwEIt9ez7M&ab_channel=RetroRock
Ummmmmmmmm… /revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/300?cb=20160517032026
Not best mind you, I was thinking of recognizability.
I was referring to posting the same song below. Sorry if it’s dickish of me to point it out.
I swear I scrolled! Fuckballs.
/as for being dickish, we’ve got very thick skin around here.
edit/ well what the hell, half the tunes below weren’t showing up for me
Thank Baal for thick skinned chums…
There’s no crying in Request Line!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru3gH27Fn6E
Why do I picture Senor Weaselo when I hear this?
I’m not saying it’s a GOOD song, but it has an undeniably catchy hook:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHozn0YXAeE
You like young girls, I get it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OamjBYCAz4&ab_channel=asilvermountzion1983
Insert Matt Gaetz joke here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qae25976UgA
Nada Surf was popular because of the song “Popular” (ironically enough), but they had approximately eleventy billion other incredible songs. This one’s my favorite:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RgteX-IJNw&feature=youtu.be
Title double shot! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmdiKePVUy8
True story: I thought this was a Santana song for the longest time. Like, I only discovered it was Steely Dan a few years ago.
I would argue that Nada Surf is the most underrated band in the history of music. They’re the King of the Hill of music – just cranking out awesome stuff again and again.
They been so consistently good for so long! They have their following but should absolutely be WAY bigger than they are.
I was wrong about the 5th having the Ur hook. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrojrDCI02k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F_UFS6ym2k&list=RDMM&index=7
Great hook for a song, even better hook for an album.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLg7aoGAkkk
Weird, didn’t show up at first. Embedding wigginess afoot!
I know, I posted Blister in the Sun earlier, and it got banhammered. Weird!
That happened to me last week with anything I tried to post from Booker T & the MG’s. I originally thought I had pissed RTD off somehow. I have been informed that it’s due to the filter they use to keep fuckheads from hijacking the site. (or something like that)
That happened to me last week whenever I tried to post something from a certain band. I just tried to reply to you about it, and it banned me again!! Apparently there is something about a certain groove band that the filter doesn’t like, as well as others.
It was any song from ooker-B T. & th’ MGs (?) At first I thought that I had somehow pissed RTD off, but was told it was due to filters used to keep e-dickheads from hijacking shit.
Fuck it, we’ll just sing it really loud!
🎵When I’ma walkin, I strut my stu-uff
And I’m so strung out.
I’m high as I kite…🎵
Dammit, I knew I was forgetting something. It is doobie o’clock!
When is it not doobie o’clock?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1NRszBfX8w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQL0urSHZmQ
They have many many hooky songs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQbXhdJYqhE&ab_channel=WeezerVEVO
You Bet!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL_WvOly7mY&ab_channel=WeezerVEVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d69mDT11yI
Love the hook on this one. Gives me frisson.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0Kv6vxZwL8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOyLNI4SYV8
Tony Iommi was the Hook Master God.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noUYAPdLMp0
This is a very good cover, and the hook is superb:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REfPPpGIzDI
The Ur Hook. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOk8Tm815lE
Even works as disco, which is was Ludwig Van originally intended
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JaHvcEiMBc&ab_channel=JuvenalGordon
Or as…uh, whatever genre this qualifies as.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQSbIzfcURs
Runny wildebeest shit?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6zypc_LhnM
Damn song is almost nothing but hooks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPf0YbXqDm0&ab_channel=MarkRonsonVEVO
Remember that time Stevie rattled all the windows on Sesame Street?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ul7X5js1vE&ab_channel=Ryan%27sSmashingLife
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfGtB6K8q8k
https://youtu.be/PdpAop7gp0w
This may be my dear, departed pater familius’ favoUrite tune EVAR
Actually saw them open for Boston in 1987. I might be old and white.
I saw Boston in 77. I am older and whiter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVP3g1-Wq_0
Probably not about literal baked goods.
I share your assessment. (ever hear this version? Whole albums pretty fun)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRXACrjcdwI
Yeah, that’s some good stuff right there
I think the drummer had some mighty heavy sticks. All the better to channel John.
Bonham was an absolute monster.
Goddamn right he was. JOHN SMASH!!!!
Outstanding album.
Double album
RIP, Dusty
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vppbdf-qtGU
First thing anyone does when picking up an electric guitar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikGyZh0VbPQ&ab_channel=NoMadU55555
As a kid I remember the guy next door played the opening riff… and only the opening riff. for one. Entire. Summer.
You might have lived next to us. That was my brother…
That song was pretty much nation wide back then. But if you were Milwaukee south side ’74, you may be right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD0gk4pcUvY
https://youtu.be/U16Xg_rQZkA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJrUBEtoNQU
Here’s a song with a hook that also solves a problem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a01QQZyl-_I
Nicely done!
https://youtu.be/JE-dqW4uBEE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l482T0yNkeo
Nice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=657TZDHZqj4
Pretty much a series of hooks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X_2IdybTV0
https://youtu.be/1ANhU4AcK04
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82-7gsW77A0
The piano solo that closes out Squirming Coil on that album is just awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxvkI9MTQw4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7ofnHmxE-I