Week 2, 2021 – Early Games Filler Thread

Still waiting to hear from Scotchy, but figured I should barf this up just in case (It’s at least a START, fatty!  – Karen C.)

Bengals (+1.5) at Bears

What a Brave New World, Bearistocrats! have sucked and fucked their way to not even getting the “standard 3” home to Team WKRP.  I’m not complaining, mind.

Texans (+13.5) at Browns

Look, #ThePauls always give the Andy Reid Chefs fits.  But I’m not sure they should be this heavily favoUred over a college team, or even the Falcons.

Rams (-4) at Colts

Whaddya know, RRRRRRRRRAM IT!! goes all in to shed their emotionally/intellectually stunted QB, while the Fat Humps go out and acquire one.  Ships sailing in opposite directions.

Bills (-3.5) at Dolphins

This line sure doesn’t reflect Week 1’s harsh realities, given that the LOLfins beat Belicheat on the road, whilst BUF lost at home to the putrid (at least in my headspace) Yinzers.  But I ain’t betting it.

49ers (-3) at Eagles

Lots of small road favoUrites = very narrow survivor pool trees.  If TB or GB lose, half your pool goes down.  Perhaps MOAR?

Raiders (+5) at Steelers

Like I said, PIT ain’t no good.  But neither are That’s Rikki’s Raiders – and I am especially skeptical coming off an emotional MNF win.

Saints (-3) at Panthers

This seems like a sucker line, given how Sean Payton owns the Black Panthers.  Who also acquired an actual ret….Special Young Mani to play QB.  I feel less bad about mocking Touch of Downs given that he’s an anti-vaxxer weirdo.

Broncos (-6) at Jaguars

Oh my cats, is I ever worried.  Doing all I can to break the likely hex (coming off road win, JAX looking putrid, weird atmosphere, historical bogey side, etc.), posting the good luck pic of me cat and favoUrite shirt, actually putting my Chubb on (I shall spare ye that picture), drinking coffee from Donks mug.  And I even bet $50 on Jaguras ML.

Patriots (-6) at Jets

I almost forgot this’un, which would be bad, given the number of supporters in the Clubhouse for each.  Neither squadron had a positive start, but everyone expects the Jest to continue Jesting.  I dunno, didn’t even consider NE for survivor.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I haven’t seen minorities intercept a Mormon this much since Robert Mugabe banned missionaries

Gumbygirl

Buddy’s Permanently Rotating Collection of Banners.

WCS

SO many Yinzers, so very few masks.

Spur

they would just wave them in the air if they were given one.

WCS

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Gumbygirl

My brother is a respiratory therapist at Allegheny General. He’s going to get busy.

Doktor Zymm

Gotta modify them into Primantis feedbags

Spur

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Anthony In TX

That’s a lot of pussy

Gumbygirl

Mesmerizing. And soothing. I’m keeping this one for emergencies!

Anthony In TX

Texans just punted from 4th and 1 at the 50, tied 7-7.

Gregggggggg wrote “game over” in his notebook.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Zach Wilson throws more picks than a bad batch of Afrosheen

TheRevanchist

I did not think Tua would be broken this early. I was thinking week 4.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Singletary was the right move, but i did nawt listen to hippo and litre.

/shame

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lot of suburban moms here wearing Khalil Mack jerseys.

None of them are making it work/werk.

Anthony In TX

That’s a weird player/position for suburban moms to pick. They usually just go with the QB or whatever white player is famous.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

At least when Mohammed Atta ruined the aerial game in New York he only did it once

Last edited 3 years ago by Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Gatoraids

Call this game The Cove cuz the dolphins are getting slaughtered

Doktor Zymm

BUFFALA MOZZARELLA

WCS

HARFPUNT

Mother Puncher

Wife won’t be home until 8 and I have a handful of mushrooms left. Is today the day?

litre_cola

Absofuckinglutely

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Yes, see how deep you can go with the old prostate milker

WCS

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Anthony In TX

I recommend checking the “don’t put your dick in that” subreddit before you get too creative

clint greasewood

Tua taking a cart to the locker room.

Gatoraids

Tua on the cart so much for our dynamic offense

litre_cola

Our one 500s fan rejoices.

Doktor Zymm

I like Brisket, although Tua probably represents Polynesian BBQ which is fucking delicious.

litre_cola

Kahlua Pork = best

Doktor Zymm

It is the cocaine of meats

Doktor Zymm

Back just in time for a Fatty Stafford TD!

Mother Puncher

Real glad the Bengals will never do anything with taunting about do that rule won’t affect us

Redshirt

September 19, 2021: The Day NFL Redzone Died.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

AND THEY WERE SINGIN

BYE BYE BIG EARED RED ZONE GUY

Redshirt

Shotgun-3TE? I never saw that formation before.

Doktor Zymm

WTF are these little videos promoting businesses that they show instead of football on these non-Red Zone stations?

Doktor Zymm

Thought it was just my stream. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE

Mr. Ayo

FIX THIS GOODELL!

Mr. Ayo

IT’S BACK@!!#@11!!

Spur

that’s not how to cover a point spread Donks. Do Better.

Anthony In TX

The Texans, in true Texans fashion, had a big defensive stop on the Browns’ first drive. Browns punt, Texans muff the punt, Browns recover deep in Texans’ territory.

Long story short, 7-0 Browns.

Spur

Wentz is the worst.

Redshirt

Don’t you mean “Wertz”?

Gumbygirl

Wurst. He is a brat.

Anthony In TX

AND he plays for the Fat Humps.

It’s all coming to fruition

Doktor Zymm

What is this fruit reference? That sounds suspiciously healthy

Spur

Holy Shit the Bills let Singletary carry the ball for once. Am sure they’ll fix that coaching mistake.

Doktor Zymm

Zylstra? Wow, he REALLY wanted to be the last guy in alphabetical order, but I beat him!

Gumbygirl

I went to school with Mike Zyzan. You lose!

Doktor Zymm

Curses!

Redshirt

Stupid Daytime Andy Dalton.

Gumbygirl

Fucking Ebron. He couldn’t catch Covid at a Trump rally.

Spur

and he keeps getting jobs to catch a football.

Gumbygirl

It’s a mystery.

Mother Puncher

If Dalton outplays Burrow today then I just don’t even know what I’m doing anymore

Doktor Zymm
Redshirt

Andy Dalton: Throws incomplete pass to avoid forcing ball into coverage.
Bears Fans: Offended Andy Dalton exists.

Redshirt

I liked how they showed off the beauty of Downtown Chicago by showing only the lakeshore.

Doktor Zymm

They should show how nicely I’m painting my condo

Spur

The Ivy really covers up the bullet holes

Viva La Tabula Raza

They always show shots of Boston during Pats games, even though Providence is ten miles closer to Foxboro.

Doktor Zymm

Why hello, reddest of non-communistic zones!

Mother Puncher

Speak for yourself bougois trash

Spur

I got the

browns -13.5
Rams/Colts over 48
Donk -7

Mother Puncher

I think the final evidence that I’m middle-aged is that I get excited when my wife leaves town because it means I get a chance to clean the house without her getting in the way.

Redshirt
Redshirt

I like how Rob Gronkowski’s new commercial has all Tampa Bay uniforms and absolutely nothing from New England. Like he’s trying to forget all about it.

Gatoraids

Don’t think Gronk has to try to forget things

Spur

Pour one out. My Bottle Tree is dead. His roots got damaged when we redid the front yard that and this summer heat was just too much for him. Thank you for 20 years of shade.

Gumbygirl

Kruger! Who’s a good boy? Scritches!

Redshirt

Someone get Rockapella. We need to play “Where in the World is Scotchnaut?”.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How do you scat “behind a firewall”?

And don’t ask Najeh Davenport.

Spur
Spur

Morning Folks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m going to be missing the morning games in favor of my nephew’s youth football game. I fully expect better quarterbacking than Andy Dalton will provide today.

Gumbygirl

Keep your camera handy for any dadbrawls.

Spur

on a Sunday?

Gumbygirl

That’s the best day for them. They’re all hungover from Saturday night, and extra surly that the wife won’t let them skip church, or junior’s peewee game.

Gumbygirl

I thought you were replying to me, nevermind!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Please, like Karen Carpenter would ever abide “filler” in any context.

litre_cola

I am interested – J. Flacco

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