Still waiting to hear from Scotchy, but figured I should barf this up just in case (It’s at least a START, fatty! – Karen C.)
Bengals (+1.5) at Bears
What a Brave New World, Bearistocrats! have sucked and fucked their way to not even getting the “standard 3” home to Team WKRP. I’m not complaining, mind.
Texans (+13.5) at Browns
Look, #ThePauls always give the Andy Reid Chefs fits. But I’m not sure they should be this heavily favoUred over a college team, or even the Falcons.
Rams (-4) at Colts
Whaddya know, RRRRRRRRRAM IT!! goes all in to shed their emotionally/intellectually stunted QB, while the Fat Humps go out and acquire one. Ships sailing in opposite directions.
Bills (-3.5) at Dolphins
This line sure doesn’t reflect Week 1’s harsh realities, given that the LOLfins beat Belicheat on the road, whilst BUF lost at home to the putrid (at least in my headspace) Yinzers. But I ain’t betting it.
49ers (-3) at Eagles
Lots of small road favoUrites = very narrow survivor pool trees. If TB or GB lose, half your pool goes down. Perhaps MOAR?
Raiders (+5) at Steelers
Like I said, PIT ain’t no good. But neither are That’s Rikki’s Raiders – and I am especially skeptical coming off an emotional MNF win.
Saints (-3) at Panthers
This seems like a sucker line, given how Sean Payton owns the Black Panthers. Who also acquired an actual ret….Special Young Mani to play QB. I feel less bad about mocking Touch of Downs given that he’s an anti-vaxxer weirdo.
Broncos (-6) at Jaguars
Oh my cats, is I ever worried. Doing all I can to break the likely hex (coming off road win, JAX looking putrid, weird atmosphere, historical bogey side, etc.), posting the good luck pic of me cat and favoUrite shirt, actually putting my Chubb on (I shall spare ye that picture), drinking coffee from Donks mug. And I even bet $50 on Jaguras ML.
Patriots (-6) at Jets
I almost forgot this’un, which would be bad, given the number of supporters in the Clubhouse for each. Neither squadron had a positive start, but everyone expects the Jest to continue Jesting. I dunno, didn’t even consider NE for survivor.
I haven’t seen minorities intercept a Mormon this much since Robert Mugabe banned missionaries
Buddy’s Permanently Rotating Collection of Banners.
SO many Yinzers, so very few masks.
they would just wave them in the air if they were given one.
My brother is a respiratory therapist at Allegheny General. He’s going to get busy.
Gotta modify them into Primantis feedbags
That’s a lot of pussy
Mesmerizing. And soothing. I’m keeping this one for emergencies!
Texans just punted from 4th and 1 at the 50, tied 7-7.
Gregggggggg wrote “game over” in his notebook.
Zach Wilson throws more picks than a bad batch of Afrosheen
I did not think Tua would be broken this early. I was thinking week 4.
Singletary was the right move, but i did nawt listen to hippo and litre.
/shame
he just lost fumble, so is safe to cut him now
Lot of suburban moms here wearing Khalil Mack jerseys.
None of them are making it work/werk.
That’s a weird player/position for suburban moms to pick. They usually just go with the QB or whatever white player is famous.
At least when Mohammed Atta ruined the aerial game in New York he only did it once
Buddy’s Banner of the Week
Call this game The Cove cuz the dolphins are getting slaughtered
Donks protection issues make that NYG defensive boomlet look…not great.
BUFFALA MOZZARELLA
HARFPUNT
Wife won’t be home until 8 and I have a handful of mushrooms left. Is today the day?
Absofuckinglutely
Yes, see how deep you can go with the old prostate milker
I recommend checking the “don’t put your dick in that” subreddit before you get too creative
Tua taking a cart to the locker room.
Tua on the cart so much for our dynamic offense
Our one 500s fan rejoices.
Tua, he die. JACOBY BRISSETT WOLVEN SORT WOO!!!!
I like Brisket, although Tua probably represents Polynesian BBQ which is fucking delicious.
Kahlua Pork = best
It is the cocaine of meats
Back just in time for a Fatty Stafford TD!
Real glad the Bengals will never do anything with taunting about do that rule won’t affect us
THANK FUCK the heroine drip is flowing again.
September 19, 2021: The Day NFL Redzone Died.
it was the longest, most agonizing five minutes of my life
AND THEY WERE SINGIN
BYE BYE BIG EARED RED ZONE GUY
Shotgun-3TE? I never saw that formation before.
WTF are these little videos promoting businesses that they show instead of football on these non-Red Zone stations?
Everyone else’s RedZone freeze up??
Thought it was just my stream. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE
I am legit having palpitations
watching Fox broadcast LIKE SOME GODDAMNED PLEBIAN
FIX THIS GOODELL!
Disgrace status…rising
IT’S BACK@!!#@11!!
that’s not how to cover a point spread Donks. Do Better.
Dude, HIPPO WARNED y’all
The Texans, in true Texans fashion, had a big defensive stop on the Browns’ first drive. Browns punt, Texans muff the punt, Browns recover deep in Texans’ territory.
Long story short, 7-0 Browns.
Wentz is the worst.
Don’t you mean “Wertz”?
Wurst. He is a brat.
AND he plays for the Fat Humps.
It’s all coming to fruition
What is this fruit reference? That sounds suspiciously healthy
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!!!
Holy Shit the Bills let Singletary carry the ball for once. Am sure they’ll fix that coaching mistake.
Zylstra? Wow, he REALLY wanted to be the last guy in alphabetical order, but I beat him!
I went to school with Mike Zyzan. You lose!
Curses!
Ignore my Singletary semi-advice at YER PERIL
Stupid Daytime Andy Dalton.
Fucking Ebron. He couldn’t catch Covid at a Trump rally.
and he keeps getting jobs to catch a football.
It’s a mystery.
Touch of Downs touched down pass to Guy I Ain’t NEVAR Heard Of
If Dalton outplays Burrow today then I just don’t even know what I’m doing anymore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWRpl2S9iwk
Andy Dalton: Throws incomplete pass to avoid forcing ball into coverage.
Bears Fans: Offended Andy Dalton exists.
MOAR LIEK Catch-CMC amirite??
I liked how they showed off the beauty of Downtown Chicago by showing only the lakeshore.
They should show how nicely I’m painting my condo
The Ivy really covers up the bullet holes
They always show shots of Boston during Pats games, even though Providence is ten miles closer to Foxboro.
Why hello, reddest of non-communistic zones!
Speak for yourself bougois trash
I got the
browns -13.5
Rams/Colts over 48
Donk -7
I think the final evidence that I’m middle-aged is that I get excited when my wife leaves town because it means I get a chance to clean the house without her getting in the way.
Kulger and Sanchez?
OIP.TrYJmlwKECzVjfe1nuEDSwHaFM (474×332) (bing.com)
I like how Rob Gronkowski’s new commercial has all Tampa Bay uniforms and absolutely nothing from New England. Like he’s trying to forget all about it.
Don’t think Gronk has to try to forget things
Pour one out. My Bottle Tree is dead. His roots got damaged when we redid the front yard that and this summer heat was just too much for him. Thank you for 20 years of shade.
Kruger! Who’s a good boy? Scritches!
Someone get Rockapella. We need to play “Where in the World is Scotchnaut?”.
How do you scat “behind a firewall”?
And don’t ask Najeh Davenport.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1EIUP8tvbE&ab
Morning Folks.
I’m going to be missing the morning games in favor of my nephew’s youth football game. I fully expect better quarterbacking than Andy Dalton will provide today.
If y’all haven’t printed up Strawberry Fields Forever shirts, well, you is welcome for the Million Dollar Chi**** idea.
Keep your camera handy for any dadbrawls.
on a Sunday?
That’s the best day for them. They’re all hungover from Saturday night, and extra surly that the wife won’t let them skip church, or junior’s peewee game.
I thought you were replying to me, nevermind!
Please, like Karen Carpenter would ever abide “filler” in any context.
A sinful indulgence would be what? Half a plain rice cake?
I am interested – J. Flacco