Still waiting to hear from Scotchy, but figured I should barf this up just in case (It’s at least a START, fatty! – Karen C.)
Bengals (+1.5) at Bears
What a Brave New World, Bearistocrats! have sucked and fucked their way to not even getting the “standard 3” home to Team WKRP. I’m not complaining, mind.
Texans (+13.5) at Browns
Look, #ThePauls always give the Andy Reid Chefs fits. But I’m not sure they should be this heavily favoUred over a college team, or even the Falcons.
Rams (-4) at Colts
Whaddya know, RRRRRRRRRAM IT!! goes all in to shed their emotionally/intellectually stunted QB, while the Fat Humps go out and acquire one. Ships sailing in opposite directions.
Bills (-3.5) at Dolphins
This line sure doesn’t reflect Week 1’s harsh realities, given that the LOLfins beat Belicheat on the road, whilst BUF lost at home to the putrid (at least in my headspace) Yinzers. But I ain’t betting it.
49ers (-3) at Eagles
Lots of small road favoUrites = very narrow survivor pool trees. If TB or GB lose, half your pool goes down. Perhaps MOAR?
Raiders (+5) at Steelers
Like I said, PIT ain’t no good. But neither are That’s Rikki’s Raiders – and I am especially skeptical coming off an emotional MNF win.
Saints (-3) at Panthers
This seems like a sucker line, given how Sean Payton owns the Black Panthers. Who also acquired an actual ret….Special Young Mani to play QB. I feel less bad about mocking Touch of Downs given that he’s an anti-vaxxer weirdo.
Broncos (-6) at Jaguars
Oh my cats, is I ever worried. Doing all I can to break the likely hex (coming off road win, JAX looking putrid, weird atmosphere, historical bogey side, etc.), posting the good luck pic of me cat and favoUrite shirt, actually putting my Chubb on (I shall spare ye that picture), drinking coffee from Donks mug. And I even bet $50 on Jaguras ML.
Patriots (-6) at Jets
I almost forgot this’un, which would be bad, given the number of supporters in the Clubhouse for each. Neither squadron had a positive start, but everyone expects the Jest to continue Jesting. I dunno, didn’t even consider NE for survivor.
I honestly don’t remember the last time the Raiders won a game by 2 scores. Back in the Del Rio era, maybe?
Ah, against the Broncos, twice. Only their third 2+ score victory since 2017, which is quite bad.
Take the road W.
TO THE LATE THREAD!
Here comes that maths moment – is it MOAR dangerous to risk the blocked kick return, as opposed to just giving PIT the ball back inside their 25, under 20 seconds with no timeouts?
It depends on how good your FG protection is.
QBs can slide forward now? And that doesn’t count for 1st down/TD? That is…..really dumb
…it should.
If you dive forward, you’re down where you land, but if you lose the ball, its a fumble.
If you dive feet first, you’re down when you start your slide.
Apparently they changed it, hence the Brokeback non-TD. That sure as hell did not look feet first to me
D-O-N-K-S WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Zach Wilson looked much better once New England stopped trying.
My fantasy team is blowing its entire load during the early games, I will have to find another way to pretend I care about the teams playing this afternoon/evening
“Have you considered the power of gambling?”
-Hippo
Fuck football. I’m just here for the lulz.
Boswell makes a 56 yard kick to bring the Steelers to within 6 with 3:42 left. I should probably turn this game off; I know where this is headed.
So which QBs died today?
YES
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxR7RYuF2fU&ab
Fun fact – all the rookie QBs (in first 3 rounds, anyway) got to play today!
I went to the life is beautiful festival yesterday. Second event in a week that was entry- with- vaccination-only. If I had the out of control unilateral powers of the presidency, I’d force every payment company (Visa, PayPal, Etc) to confirm vaccine requirements for every single business customer they support or eat enormous fines and penalties.
The president of the life is beautiful festival is that powerful?
Kick return makes Hippo flaccid. OK, extra flaccid.
Folks, I leave you on your own for the afternoon games. It’s an absolutely gorgeous day here in CT, and I’m off to this.
Don’t trash the clubhouse until I get back. If you’re good, I’ll share some garlic products with you.
17-11 is a fun fucking scoreline
Very pointy and tidy. Would fit well in a pencil cup.
1 7-11 is a good place to get your slurpees
Jalen Ramsay!
Carson Wentz is back!….to wearing a headset on the sidelines.
Just like the old gypsy women prophesized!
Can we RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! in Indiana?
YEAH!!
We’re about to crack 300 comments for the noon games. Solid work, everyone!
Buried Burrows too soon
I think the Browns are gonna run up short on me.
browns -13.5
Rams/Colts over 48
Donk -7
If I went to a party that Greg Olson was hosting I’d be pretty disappointed if he didn’t serve legs.
Chicken legs, I mean.
“The hole starting to get big and Chubb getting stronger”
The NFL turned into a bad romance novel so gradually I hardly noticed
CAR BOMB!
That was good fitbawl
I thought that Kevin Hart commercial was fine (even mildly enjoyable) until the very end.