Ringing in October 2021 (In Lesser FashioUn)

Good morning, everyone.  Are y’all enjoying the (very occasional) chill in the air?  Ah sure is.  Sadly, we have another dumb international break on tap, so savoUr the full slate while y’all can.

The morning starts early (7:30, NBCSN), with uber-short handed Everton headed to Old Trafford to have their shit pushed in.  As much as I hate Benitez, I won’t criticize him for this match, with this squad (no Richarlison nor DCL – which means no soccer points).  Be interesting to see if Ole rests any of his regulars.  Though that isn’t reall his way.  There will be no #ShameBet with Wakey, unless he wants to spot me 4.5 goals.

You gets Four on the Floor (Skinemax callback, yo!) in the 10:00 window, with increasingly desperate (but not serrrriiiious) Leeds taking on the Moose Hornets (NBCSN), while Chelsea skullfucks Saints on USA.  FEEL THE EXCITE!  Maybe Wolves and Barcodes (Peacock) will provide some streaming relief.  (h/t R. Kelly)

Spotlight Dance (12:30, NBC) is pretty damned cool, with story-of-the-young-season Brighton hosting the resurgent King’s Afrikan Water Pistols (h/t to the incomparable Cecil Rhodes).  You see, this is what a REAL must-see match with ACTUALLY INTERESTING backstories looks like, NBC.  Not the puppy abortion you are forcing down our throats tomorrow night.  Graham Potter and Handsome Mikel are two names I’d like to see on the Bitter Blues’ touchline next season, if we wisely (so it won’t happen) sack Benitez once we have moneys to spend again.

City and the Shite (11:30, NBCSN) will suck all the Sunday oxygen out of the Boot Room, but I am way more interested in Spurs/Villa (9:00, Peacock).  I didn’t like the Nuno appointment – and I really didn’t understand Levy not taking advantage of City’s millions when they had them over a barrel on selling Harry Fuckface Kane.  Three thumping losses on the spin, Spurs are in a real mess now.  They have to show something quickly, or things could spiral out of control.  Villa, on the other hand, wisely sold high on Grealish, and took advantage of the uber-depressed “middle class” transfer market.  Different strategies, different trajectories.  Villa are becoming what I want Everton to be, and that’s just nauseating.

Also, I would be remiss not to chuckle heartily at the European misadventures of Real Cuntfaces of Madrid and Braying Jackass Ronald Koeman’s Barcelona.  Warms my cold, black soul.  For once, maybe continental footy will have some REAL new blood?

There is also, naturally, ample JV NFL action (though not as much depth as I would like – PHRASING):

Arkansas (+17.5) at Georgia (Noon, ESPN)

Pig Sooey is basically the Brighton of the SEC/JV world.  One keeps expecting them to lose, even after smashing BOTH Texas and TAMU in September.  This is a rough draw for a “minnow” already facing an SEC West schedule, and the Dawgs have looked terrifying.  Deffo worth a watch.

Michigan (+2) at Wisconsin (Noon, Fox)

This line is so ridiculous that I sense a trap.  But then again, I couldn’t believe Bucky Badger was favoUred over ND last week, neither.  And that bet turned out just fine.  Just don’t watch much of it, even Gus Johnson will struggle to find the style of play exciting.

Cincinnati (-2) at Notre Dame (2:30, NBC)

As many SurvivoUr pool enthusiasts (myself included) noticed, the Varsity WKRP rescued their TNF match from the precipice of death.  I never expected to see JV Team WKRP as a favoUrite in South Bend, but maybe things are turning around for diarrhea chili town.

Ole Miss (+14.5) at Alabama (3:30, CBS)

That’s some serious GAMBLOR respect for Johnny Reb, or really any team headed into Tuscaloosa.  There Will Be Points, whoever gets the first stop likely wins.  Psssst, that will be Roll Damn Tide.

Oklahoma (-11.5) at Kansas State (3:30, Fox)

I am wondering what Steerfuckers North – who needed a bad shotgun snap to suck out a close win over Fuckers du Cousins last week, at HOME – have shown to deserve such a massive line away to even a semi-sentient foe.  And the Unded Bill Snyders are legendary at winning games as double-digit underdogs.  FUCK IT, something has to be a channel flipping option.