Has the sked maker (I imagine him as an harried old man in a small office, papers in folders everywhere-he’s not received a raise since Rozelle retired) been kind to us? Let’s take a looky-loo.
To The Games!
Team/Falcons:
That nasty Washington D was supposed to pick up where it left off last year but there are cracks in the armoire. The secondary is ahead of only Detroit, KC and the Giants in expected points per passing play and lb Jon Bostic is a travesty in coverage, having surrendered 197 yards so far.
Texans/Bills:
Allen turned things around in a ‘get well’ game last week and has been gifted another one. One of the problems he’s been dealing with is poor interior line play. That unit allowed 16 pressures last week and had better improve when Buffalo gets to the meat of their schedule.
Lions/Bears:
Be careful what you ask for. Unless you were asking for .4 yards per pass play. Is that what it was, Chicago fans? They’re the only team to average less than 3 yards so far this season.
Panthers/Cowboys:
Time for Carolina to see if they’re on the ‘real’ or ‘pretend’ side of the ledger. At least they have a full 10 days rest and Dallas is dealing with a short week.
Colts/Fins:
Indy was thought by many to be a playoff contender this year but poor qb play (exacerbated by injuries/lousy performance from the o-line) has put that notion up in the air. And so has reducing touches to their dynamic 2nd year rb Taylor.
Browns/Vikes:
As both teams love to run the ball and are not apologetic about it, what say we stash this game into the mid-1970’s where it belongs?
Giants/Saints:
It’s the last train to Clarksville, um, whoops, Winville for New York. Showing up in the coming weeks are Dallas, Carolina, the Rams, Chiefs, Raiders and the bucking Fucs.
Titans/Jets:
Poor Zach has been through the ringer and put up a mere 20 points vs the Panthers, Pats and Broncos. Finally, some sweet relief (maybe?) against a Tennessee team that blitzes at a 30% rate. Oh no. Well, the good news is that opposing qb’s have a 155.3 rating when completing a pass in this situation.
Chiefs/Eagles:
Philly’s D tends to keep big plays to a minimum so far this year and that might well be tested by KC today. The Chiefs D will again be without de Clark and cb Ward but never fear, Dicaprio Bootle has been elevated from that old Key and Peele sketch to the game time roster.
Do that thing.
My earlier prediction is coming to existence. Panthers Defense looking burnt out
Yeah it took a while but they are being exposed alright
Darnold isn’t doing his defense any favors.
Two gallons of homemade chicken stock. Simmered for 18 hours and strained through cheesecloth. Cooled and ready for the deep freeze. SOUP SEASON BABY!!!
“The kind of stock you want to stick your dick in!”
-Julia Child
Nice. I’m making butternut squash soup tonight
Trevon Diggs comes up big for Dallas
Crowd’s getting testy in Philly.
choose your warrior
car battery enters the field
Those Ballsack Covid searches are a bit much though.
Sam Darnold from 2020 just showed up.
It is the month for ghosts to start reappearing.
I hear Cordarelle Patterson is the new Julio Jones.
For one week apparently.
Hockey sucking a second week in a row. Two stinking points so far.
Cordaralle Patterson, NFL MVP
Leading the league in ‘Why did I bench him this week?’ cries from FF owners
The Bears winning is more confusing than the first time seeing fake bukakke porn
maybe Jerrydome is cursed for ALL kickers?
So far today I’ve bought the NY Times, changed the oil in my car, mowed the lawn, and had leftovers for lunch.
Gonna go rake the lawn while wearing sandal, black socks, and patterned shorts, just to complete the “middle-aged white-guy who’s losing his shit” bingo card.
Wife beater t shirt?
That, or worn-out polo that fit well 7 years ago
Gotta show some beer belly
Will His NAME is JUDGE! be fired before Urban Meyer resigns??
Frickin’ Nagy bought himself some breathing room. He was my bet.
Taysom Hill just took more shots then Joseph Smith and still lead his way to the promise land
+1 wife
One?? – Joseph S.
Guys, would you play Sermon vs Seattle or Williams vs Baltimore?
Sermon. Even though SF’s RB situation is a fantasy nightmare, Seattle’s defense has been so, so bad this year.
(apologies in advance when Sermon goes off)
agreed
No one asked for cashews in this nut mix. They’re taking up room for more pecans.
Quick poll: Puh-khan or pee-can?
Pee-khan.
But I am from the mountains of NC, so any pronunciation I use is suspect at best.
You are skewing the results with your weird outlier. I say pee-can, but it is mostly to make fun of my Alabama friends.
Puh-khan.
Genghis would have wanted it that way.
Genghis would have wanted to piss on your copse after he just finished raping all the women in your household
I went to an exhibit of Monghol gear a few years ago. Genghis had some pretty fancy stuff for a barbarian.
Why do you think I’m kissing his ass about the pronunciation of a nut?
Okay, but after that
Puh-KHAN
Who doesn’t like cashews?
And sure, pecans, but over shit like almonds and peanuts and macadamia nuts?
I’ll mail you the mushy little things
If your cashews are mushy, I might not eat the rest of that nut mix….
Don’t care what you call them, as long as they’re salted or in caramelized pie filling form
Rockingdog kicking himself for not starting Patterson.
I’m doing the same thing in my league. 22+ points just sitting there while Waddle does jack squat in his game.
Maybe Rockingdog and I can kick each other and change things up in the second half.
I call this Browns offense norovirus as they are running through the Vikings.
Outstanding
Davis Mills, QB, HOU stat line @ the half:
1/7, 3yds, 0 TDs, 2 INTs
Is that good?
Time to start thinking about putting that Stanford education to good use!
Have you ever seen so many shovel passes?
It’s still Hispanic Heritage month
Andy’s maternity top is very fetch.
He is leading the fight against throwing out edible food.
I believe he’s expecting nonuplets and a puppy or two.
I didn’t have the balls to play Juwan Johnson. I deserve to lose.
Things I’ve learned watching this Bears game:
Aqib Talib is no longer playing.
Aqib Talib is now a football talking TV guy.
Aqib Talib went to Kansas.
Kansas went to an Orange Bowl?
A defensive player, Aqib Talib, was the MVP of said Orange Bowl!?
Shaq Thompson has a head owie. Sit him.
G’day. Just ate too much at brunch and have retired to the bedroom to nap and be hungover.
How the fuck we doin boys and ladies?
Dallas needs to show some Adam Gase photos on the jumbotron that will “fix” Darnold.
Geneva convention violation but not recognized in Texas
lol Goff
That was amazing, just hope Mack isn’t hurt
THESE TEXANS, I CALL THEM MEMBERS OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, BECAUSE THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN EFFECTIVE PROTECTION.
Their defensive rhythm is being disrupted?
What this comment presupposes is that there is, in fact, a method involved
Well, just because a method is being used does not mean it will be effective or even look like something planned.
every sack is sacred
Joedirt with the Philly score.
nvm
John Ross gets the Giants TD. I didn’t think he played for them anymore.
Checking fantasy scores was a huge mistake. h/t, Gob.
The Buffalo coache’s box looks like an anti-vaxxer rally.
“I trust my immune system” – Buffalo coach
“Please kill me” – Buffalo coach’s immune system
The NFL is encouraging me to adopt healthy lifestyle choices. And they employ Andy Reid.
Just think how big he would be if he didn’t have a sideli e to walk.
D. Dimes did a good?
Good uhmmm… recall there refs
Beginning to think the only points the Titz get today will be from field goals.
Also nipples.
Well, it does appear to be a bit chilly there.
The real winners today, all the sandwich shops by Eagle Stadium. The KC halftime sandwich orders were record setting.
not sure about that Dallas 2 pt conversation being good
So for fantasy would you start dreamboat vs he patriots or murray vs the rams?
Dreamboat. He’s going to try and embarrass Belichick tonight. That game won’t be close.
Yes. He’s going to put on a show.
In Wlson’s defense, the Tits’ safety was wide open in the seam.
Penetration such an aggravation!
This is probably how Tom Brady feels about Bridget Moynahan.
Shit dicks
I should have started Cordalle Patterson instead of Allen Robinson at my Flex
Oh well 🤷♂️
If this new ghost comedy was on pretty much any network other than CBS, I would expect it to be decent.
Somehow I have to think Chuck Lorre is involved
Insurmountable Lead in WNY
***silence***
-Fans of the Houston Texans
*ahem*
FAN
sof the Houston TexansBig break for Dallas on the fumble
Dak: “Big what?”
Shaq Thompson just killed a running back
He might be the most underrated defensive player in the League
Davis Mills, the Texans rookie QB, has a claim to that throne
It’s raining like hell in Buffalo and yet the weather is fine in Philly. And people say climate change isn’t real. smh…
Come on, Tannehill. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me. And if Justin Fields was worth a shit, we wouldn’t be in each other’s lives. But here we are. And we need the same thing. Just flip short passes to Tractorcito and let him hammer away.
Oh for Christ’s sake
I won’t lie. El Tractorcito catching passes make mah dick move. And I ain’t even DonT!
Sassy Ref doing the Black Panthers fixture!
The Bears aren’t fooling around. Neither is Montgomery.
These Bears don’t mess around either.