Your Early Sunday Slate O’Games Open Thread

Has the sked maker (I imagine him as an harried old man in a small office, papers in folders everywhere-he’s not received a raise since Rozelle retired) been kind to us? Let’s take a looky-loo.

To The Games!

Team/Falcons:

That nasty Washington D was supposed to pick up where it left off last year but there are cracks in the armoire. The secondary is ahead of only Detroit, KC and the Giants in expected points per passing play and lb Jon Bostic is a travesty in coverage, having surrendered 197 yards so far.

Texans/Bills:

Allen turned things around in a ‘get well’ game last week and has been gifted another one. One of the problems he’s been dealing with is poor interior line play. That unit allowed 16 pressures last week and had better improve when Buffalo gets to the meat of their schedule.

Lions/Bears:

Be careful what you ask for. Unless you were asking for .4 yards per pass play. Is that what it was, Chicago fans? They’re the only team to average less than 3 yards so far this season.

Panthers/Cowboys:

Time for Carolina to see if they’re on the ‘real’ or ‘pretend’ side of the ledger. At least they have a full 10 days rest and Dallas is dealing with a short week.

Colts/Fins:

Indy was thought by many to be a playoff contender this year but poor qb play (exacerbated by injuries/lousy performance from the o-line) has put that notion up in the air. And so has reducing touches to their dynamic 2nd year rb Taylor.

Browns/Vikes:

As both teams love to run the ball and are not apologetic about it, what say we stash this game into the mid-1970’s where it belongs?

Giants/Saints:

It’s the last train to Clarksville, um, whoops, Winville for New York. Showing up in the coming weeks are Dallas, Carolina, the Rams, Chiefs, Raiders and the bucking Fucs.

Titans/Jets:

Poor Zach has been through the ringer and put up a mere 20 points vs the Panthers, Pats and Broncos. Finally, some sweet relief (maybe?) against a Tennessee team that blitzes at a 30% rate. Oh no. Well, the good news is that opposing qb’s have a 155.3 rating when completing a pass in this situation.

Chiefs/Eagles:

Philly’s D tends to keep big plays to a minimum so far this year and that might well be tested by KC today. The Chiefs D will again be without de Clark and cb Ward but never fear, Dicaprio Bootle has been elevated from that old Key and Peele sketch to the game time roster.

Do that thing.

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Spur

My earlier prediction is coming to existence. Panthers Defense looking burnt out  

2Pack

Yeah it took a while but they are being exposed alright

ArmedandHammered

Darnold isn’t doing his defense any favors.

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Fronkenshteen

Two gallons of homemade chicken stock. Simmered for 18 hours and strained through cheesecloth. Cooled and ready for the deep freeze. SOUP SEASON BABY!!!

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Dunstan

Nice. I’m making butternut squash soup tonight

Spur

Trevon Diggs comes up big for Dallas

Gumbygirl

Crowd’s getting testy in Philly.

Spur

choose your warrior
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Gatoraids

car battery enters the field

Spur

Sam Darnold from 2020 just showed up.

ArmedandHammered

It is the month for ghosts to start reappearing.

hippofant

I hear Cordarelle Patterson is the new Julio Jones.

King Hippo

Cordaralle Patterson, NFL MVP

Horatio Cornblower

Leading the league in ‘Why did I bench him this week?’ cries from FF owners

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Bears winning is more confusing than the first time seeing fake bukakke porn

Spur

maybe Jerrydome is cursed for ALL kickers?

Horatio Cornblower

So far today I’ve bought the NY Times, changed the oil in my car, mowed the lawn, and had leftovers for lunch.

Gonna go rake the lawn while wearing sandal, black socks, and patterned shorts, just to complete the “middle-aged white-guy who’s losing his shit” bingo card.

2Pack

Wife beater t shirt?

Anthony In TX

That, or worn-out polo that fit well 7 years ago

2Pack

Gotta show some beer belly

King Hippo

Will His NAME is JUDGE! be fired before Urban Meyer resigns??

Spur

Taysom Hill just took more shots then Joseph Smith and still lead his way to the promise land

Horatio Cornblower

+1 wife

King Hippo

One?? – Joseph S.

Horatio Cornblower

Sermon. Even though SF’s RB situation is a fantasy nightmare, Seattle’s defense has been so, so bad this year.

Horatio Cornblower

(apologies in advance when Sermon goes off)

King Hippo

agreed

Spur

No one asked for cashews in this nut mix. They’re taking up room for more pecans.

Gumbygirl

Quick poll: Puh-khan or pee-can?

ArmedandHammered

Pee-khan.

ArmedandHammered

But I am from the mountains of NC, so any pronunciation I use is suspect at best.

Gumbygirl

You are skewing the results with your weird outlier. I say pee-can, but it is mostly to make fun of my Alabama friends.

Horatio Cornblower

Puh-khan.

Genghis would have wanted it that way.

Spur

Genghis would have wanted to piss on your copse after he just finished raping all the women in your household

Gumbygirl

I went to an exhibit of Monghol gear a few years ago. Genghis had some pretty fancy stuff for a barbarian.

Last edited 3 years ago by Gumbygirl
Horatio Cornblower

Why do you think I’m kissing his ass about the pronunciation of a nut?

Anthony In TX

Okay, but after that

Anthony In TX

Puh-KHAN

hippofant

Who doesn’t like cashews?

And sure, pecans, but over shit like almonds and peanuts and macadamia nuts?

Spur

I’ll mail you the mushy little things

hippofant

If your cashews are mushy, I might not eat the rest of that nut mix….

Spur

Don’t care what you call them, as long as they’re salted or in caramelized pie filling form

Horatio Cornblower

I’m doing the same thing in my league. 22+ points just sitting there while Waddle does jack squat in his game.

Maybe Rockingdog and I can kick each other and change things up in the second half.

ArmedandHammered

I call this Browns offense norovirus as they are running through the Vikings.

Horatio Cornblower

Outstanding

Anthony In TX

Davis Mills, QB, HOU stat line @ the half:

1/7, 3yds, 0 TDs, 2 INTs

Is that good?

Cecil Rhodes

Time to start thinking about putting that Stanford education to good use!

Gumbygirl

Have you ever seen so many shovel passes?

Spur

It’s still Hispanic Heritage month

Gumbygirl

Andy’s maternity top is very fetch.

ArmedandHammered

He is leading the fight against throwing out edible food.

herodotus450

Things I’ve learned watching this Bears game:
Aqib Talib is no longer playing.
Aqib Talib is now a football talking TV guy.
Aqib Talib went to Kansas.
Kansas went to an Orange Bowl?
A defensive player, Aqib Talib, was the MVP of said Orange Bowl!?

Spur

Shaq Thompson has a head owie. Sit him.

litre_cola

G’day. Just ate too much at brunch and have retired to the bedroom to nap and be hungover.

How the fuck we doin boys and ladies?

Spur

Dallas needs to show some Adam Gase photos on the jumbotron that will “fix” Darnold.

Gatoraids

Geneva convention violation but not recognized in Texas

Mr. Ayo

lol Goff

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That was amazing, just hope Mack isn’t hurt

Cecil Rhodes

THESE TEXANS, I CALL THEM MEMBERS OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, BECAUSE THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN EFFECTIVE PROTECTION.

ArmedandHammered

Their defensive rhythm is being disrupted?

Anthony In TX

What this comment presupposes is that there is, in fact, a method involved

ArmedandHammered

Well, just because a method is being used does not mean it will be effective or even look like something planned.

Gatoraids

every sack is sacred

King Hippo

Checking fantasy scores was a huge mistake. h/t, Gob.

ArmedandHammered

The Buffalo coache’s box looks like an anti-vaxxer rally.

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Anthony In TX

“I trust my immune system” – Buffalo coach

“Please kill me” – Buffalo coach’s immune system

Gumbygirl

The NFL is encouraging me to adopt healthy lifestyle choices. And they employ Andy Reid.

ArmedandHammered

Just think how big he would be if he didn’t have a sideli e to walk.

ArmedandHammered

D. Dimes did a good?

2Pack

Good uhmmm… recall there refs

ArmedandHammered

Beginning to think the only points the Titz get today will be from field goals.

Dunstan

Also nipples.

ArmedandHammered

Well, it does appear to be a bit chilly there.

Spur

The real winners today, all the sandwich shops by Eagle Stadium. The KC halftime sandwich orders were record setting.

Spur

not sure about that Dallas 2 pt conversation being good

Brocky

So for fantasy would you start dreamboat vs he patriots or murray vs the rams?

Cecil Rhodes

Dreamboat. He’s going to try and embarrass Belichick tonight. That game won’t be close.

Gumbygirl

Yes. He’s going to put on a show.

King Hippo

In Wlson’s defense, the Tits’ safety was wide open in the seam.

Brocky

Penetration such an aggravation!

Cecil Rhodes

This is probably how Tom Brady feels about Bridget Moynahan.

rockingdog

Shit dicks
I should have started Cordalle Patterson instead of Allen Robinson at my Flex

Oh well 🤷‍♂️

Anthony In TX

If this new ghost comedy was on pretty much any network other than CBS, I would expect it to be decent.
Somehow I have to think Chuck Lorre is involved

King Hippo

Insurmountable Lead in WNY

Cecil Rhodes

***silence***

-Fans of the Houston Texans

Anthony In TX

*ahem*

FANs of the Houston Texans

2Pack

Big break for Dallas on the fumble

Brocky

Dak: “Big what?”

Spur

Shaq Thompson just killed a running back

King Hippo

He might be the most underrated defensive player in the League

Anthony In TX

Davis Mills, the Texans rookie QB, has a claim to that throne

Fronkenshteen

Come on, Tannehill. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me. And if Justin Fields was worth a shit, we wouldn’t be in each other’s lives. But here we are. And we need the same thing. Just flip short passes to Tractorcito and let him hammer away.

Fronkenshteen

Oh for Christ’s sake

King Hippo

I won’t lie. El Tractorcito catching passes make mah dick move. And I ain’t even DonT!

King Hippo

Sassy Ref doing the Black Panthers fixture!

Cecil Rhodes

These Bears don’t mess around either.

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Spur

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