Your NFL Football Open Thread Numero Trois

To The Games!

Bears/Raiders:

With Monty out and Robinson underperforming and Fields rookie-ing, where are the points going to come from? Big Mack Attack can’t do everything. The Raiders look like a playoff team but have required two OT games to get to this record. That’s a fine line to walk.

Browns/Chargers:

Herbert is this close to being matchup-proof and this game might seal that deal. Holding the Browns back is their qb, who missed a wide-open OBJ a few times last week and also compiled an astounding 39% “uncatchable ball” rate.

Giants/Cowboys:

NYG is in the top 10 in Expected Points Added per play and Dimes has the most completions in the 10-19 yard range. Just give me this before Dallas crushes them today and solidifies their division lead. As was feared, the combo of DAK!, Lamb, Cooper and Zeke has been much too much for ordinary defenses to handle. It’s about time something good happened to Jerry Jones! (I wonder how he’ll fuck it all up)

Niners/Cards:

First quarter MVP goes to Kyler-he’s really lifted this team as they remain the league’s only unbeaten squadoo. He’s even helped resurrect A.J. Green’s career before his inevitable injury later on this year. A few Trey’s lead the way for the city by the Bay. Yay!

Push it, push it good.

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Brocky

Shout out for scarecrow, the only john mellencamp song I like

rockingdog

Bottom of the 9th
Can Sox pull this off???
OCG is nervous 😬

rockingdog

Update;

Oh shit
They got the 3rd out cause he over-slid trying to steal 2nd
Still tied. We gooootttt a GAME!
OCG is gonna hang around for extra innings

That’s Rocking! 💯

Last edited 2 years ago by rockingdog
Spur

comment image

Spur

Ta Da! A Dallas Win

Anthony In TX

Boooooooooooooooooooo(inhale)ooooooooooooooooooooo

Nothing against you; I just hate the Cowboys.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That Glennon pick six is fucking me in fantasy

Dunstan

That is the first time that the words “Glennon,” “fucking,” and “fantasy” have been used in the same sentence.

Redshirt

That Cowboy is trash talking himself into a one week vacation.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Giants garbage time points plz

Gatoraids

Cleveland running the Abort Mary

Horatio Cornblower

/Calls Texas and attempts to collect $10,000 bounty

Redshirt

That reminds me. Did Texas say that those only born female attempting to get an abortion only triggers the $10,000 bounty? If not, then I may have a way to make some money.

Spur

When did McPherson kick Burrow in the neck?

Redshirt

Maybe during his ill-timed GW celebration in OT.

Horatio Cornblower

One of the missed FGs bounce into his throat?

rockingdog

That’s not Rocking :/

Anthony In TX

Gee, y’all, I’m so glad I’ve got the Cowboys blowing out the Giants instead of Browns-Chargers right now.
Great job with broadcasting rights all around, NFL. Fuck you.

Spur

embrace the hate, or no Redzone?

Last edited 2 years ago by Spur
Anthony In TX

No RedZone. Just not part of my streaming package, and since I’ve got what I’ve got to save money over cable, I’m not gonna add anything else.

Redshirt

Okay, I’m back from my parents weekly “five minute task” that takes three hours and WHAT IN THE FRICK ARE THE BROWNS AND CHARGERS DOING?!

Horatio Cornblower

Last week I had to yell at my mother to for God’s sake stop trying to change fuses in the fuse box, you do not know what you are doing and I will pay for the goddam electrician.

So this comment speaks to me.

Anthony In TX

My mom always waits until I’m just about to leave to ask me to do something for her in the house.
I genuinely do not mind helping at ALL, but for gods sake woman, just tell me *before* I’m walking out the door.

Horatio Cornblower

Seems like the refs missed a pretty good facemask on that one, too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Awesome play by the Browns – I hope that pays off for them.

TheRevanchist

They should throw it to OBJ.

Hahaha!!

Gumbygirl

Narrator: It did not pay off for the Browns.

Horatio Cornblower

They’re gonna say Ross didn’t have control and call it incomplete, and that’s bullshit.

Horatio Cornblower

To be clear, the call was correct, it just ruins a great athletic play.

rockingdog

Update;

Rays hit a blooper to center
OCG is mad dog
Game is tied 4-4
Not Rocking 😬

Horatio Cornblower

That’s not pass interference, that’s a Viennese waltz!

Spur

Bring back Eli!

Horatio Cornblower

Olivia, when Eli forgot his inhaler on the field trip to Chuck E. Cheese

Horatio Cornblower

Why did none of you tell me that Mike Glennon was in the game!?!?

And how did I not notice a giraffe on the field?

Gumbygirl

He was incognito

depositphotos_54891045-stock-photo-funny-giraffe-with-sunglasses-coming.jpg
Dunstan

It’s the camo pattern.

Horatio Cornblower

Joe Buck: “In fairness, Toney was shoved after the play”

Fox show entire play, showing that Toney was not shoved after the play.

Anthony In TX

I know we launch an enormous amount of (much-deserved) scorn on Collinsworth, but is there any premier announcing team that sucks so badly at their job as Buck/Aikman? They just get an incredible number of things wrong every single game. Fox will never dump those two, but they should have done it years ago.

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t mind Buck, although he can certainly be smarmy as hell. I like Aikman, although I think he’s starting to show signs of the same issues Phil Simms was having before he was eventually taken off air for Romo. In general they’re harmless, but I can see why people don’t like them.

But Collinsworth and his ‘aw shuck’ corn-pone, blow-the-QB schtick is just another level. He objectively sucks.

Gumbygirl

Out of the four of them, I hate Al Michaels the most, then Buck, Collinsworth, and Aikman last.

Anthony In TX

I wouldn’t say I *hate* any of them aside from Collinsworth, but Buck and Aikman are just bad at their jobs, in my opinion. They’re so entrenched they’re able to just do whatever they want and make as many mistakes as possible with no repercussions or accountability.

Anthony In TX

Why in the hell would you punch another man in the head when he’s wearing a helmet?
Kadarius Toney losing his mind.

Spur

It’s a New York thing. comment image