To The Games!
Bears/Raiders:
With Monty out and Robinson underperforming and Fields rookie-ing, where are the points going to come from? Big Mack Attack can’t do everything. The Raiders look like a playoff team but have required two OT games to get to this record. That’s a fine line to walk.
Browns/Chargers:
Herbert is this close to being matchup-proof and this game might seal that deal. Holding the Browns back is their qb, who missed a wide-open OBJ a few times last week and also compiled an astounding 39% “uncatchable ball” rate.
Giants/Cowboys:
NYG is in the top 10 in Expected Points Added per play and Dimes has the most completions in the 10-19 yard range. Just give me this before Dallas crushes them today and solidifies their division lead. As was feared, the combo of DAK!, Lamb, Cooper and Zeke has been much too much for ordinary defenses to handle. It’s about time something good happened to Jerry Jones! (I wonder how he’ll fuck it all up)
Niners/Cards:
First quarter MVP goes to Kyler-he’s really lifted this team as they remain the league’s only unbeaten squadoo. He’s even helped resurrect A.J. Green’s career before his inevitable injury later on this year. A few Trey’s lead the way for the city by the Bay. Yay!
Push it, push it good.
The Burger King is creepy.
Always shudder
Their mascot is pretty scary too
Dimes leaving it all out there on the field today, just like a person that forgets things on a daily basis!
“Did I remember to pack the purple monkey dishwasher?”
— Trent G.
This is the price the Giants are paying for making a field goal today
Neurologist: What planet are we in?
Dimes:
Giants cheated!
Found out who the asshat announcer is. It is Mark Sanchez. Seems fitting
After that hit he’s going to be Danny Nickels at vest
So I guess we can’t say “hey, the nfl isn’t so bad, way more Americans are injured in Afghanistan every day” anymore
Update;
OCG came thru.
Gonna do another shot with him.
And he rooting for the meteor in this giants vs cowboys game.
It’s Rocking!
Oh Shit, Dallas killed Duke boy
He’s a Weeble.
FUCKING AWESOME Goal line stand
“Book Her”
– Joe Friday (he hardly knows her)
I’ve mentioned it before but Kadrius Toney’s change of direction skills are crazy.
#89 just burns the Dallas secondary and NYG takes him out next play. Never change Garrett
Go los gigantes i guess?
Fifty seconds left in the half, Bears have the ball at their own 40 with no timeouts…will they score 7 points here, or just three?
Ha, the Bears have no offense
And I refuse to acknowledge their 14 points as evidence of anything
I’m seein’ double! Four Kojacks!
Dak’s Battered Balls
Is Keenan Allen playing or did he get an owie?
Update;
Back at the bar here in New England.
Like 3 ppl here. No sight of OCG.
Got a shot lined up in his honor.
Sox just tied it up. 💯⚾️
Update;
Yoooo
Andddd they took the lead!!!
Sox up 3-2
Maybe he took off. To the Great White North!
It’s a beauty way to go
I can set my watch to the Raiders failing to convert 3rd or 4th and short.
Everything I hated or loved 5 years ago, it is all meh now, even the Cowboys. At least I still hate organized running
Time will flatten a person.
“Not a ball, though. You gotta make that happen.” – Dorito Dink
Capitalism?
What about it?
There is no hate or love about economic systems. People are inherently unreliable, and the more you can avoid people having to do anything other than the worst shit they can do, the better.
This is a much better summary of my life’s mission statement than I’ve ever been to put it.
CeeDee “not drafted by the Eagles” Lamb!
Trey Lance looks legit.
he’s bigger then i thought too.
That’s not what Jenn Sterger said about Brett Favre.
I assume his name means he has three penises, so that is pretty neat
That actually sounds pretty horrifying
The Hydra of San Francisco Bay?
Less creepy than the Chmura of Green Bay
Or crotch Cerberus.
3-4 Weeks for Saquon
The coloUr guy in the Niners game is an asshat.
I don’t see why that is a bad thing, it is nice to find a flattering hat for your ass!
“I want to wear their ass as a hat” seems fitting here too.
I can’t help but notice that King “Attendance is Mandatory” Hippo has disappeared. Wake up, you semi-aquatic large mammal!
Oh he got dem nods and be nappin for sure.
Rules only apply to mammals that are less than a pathetic 3000 lbs.
Teh footballz and teh pillz both be harsh mistresses
draws a penis on Hippo’s face
They *both* want to see the manager
Statler and Waldorf.
Dak has his mind on his foot
Oh Dak, wow.
am making a drink. Anyone want anything?
Martini. Dry. Thanks.
Red wine plz.
Box ok?
Beggars can’t be choosers!
“Joe Judge coaching from the sideline in his sweatshirt. Could you be more Bill?”
–Chandler B., NYC
SHA’NKLOR DEMANDS MOAR
Only Ray Lewis has offered more shanks than today
Hahaha
Banner?
LoL
Man if you think billionaires going to space is a waste of money wait until you learn what the Packers and Bengals are paying their kickers.
Mid day nap complete, now to avoid doing anything until I have to head back into the kitchen to cook and drink wine.
Barkley is hurt, again.
Barkley really needs to escape this Giants team ASAP
Bark bark bark
That’s not rocking :/
LoL Nice 👍
Scotchy approved!
I’ve always enjoyed the fact that the Browns pants are indeed brown. It’s like they’ve become that way as a result of decades of prolonged defecation.
Hot water costs too much – Haslam
Midsommar for Shanklor offerings
Oh good I get Joe Buck and Troy Aikman announcing the Cowboys game I’m so excited can you feel the excitement
Why can’t the baseball players do the one useful thing and take Buck away for A couple months
Better than Al and Cris IMO
Mine too, but it’s close.
Found a funny;
why are all the available alarm sounds on a phone either “circus music played by children” or “what if enya was the cops”
Today is “Field Goal Day”
“Missed Field Goal Day”
Missed an opportunity to say “and that one is Ga-No good”
Dammit, Dak.
OK, off to split wood. Sadly not a euphemism.
Why baseball is a dying sport. This team is still in the playoffs too!
Rays president claims full-season baseball ‘next to impossible’ in Tampa area; pushes Montreal plan again – CBSSports.com
…also dying because they haven’t figured out how to speed up the game, they have too many games in a season (who gives 2 shits about a loss in early June?), and they don’t market enough to minorities.
Runaway spending by big market teams and umpires who continue to make bad calls with no punishment are bigger reasons than that.
Also because most MLB owners call them “those people”
Really need the Giants to not get shut out today
This is the game that will test Dallas. On paper and what we’ve seen this year, Dallas is the better team then NYG. And games like this in the past are where Dallas suckage shows its lips. If Dallas truly have turned a corner to be a better team, this game should be over by 3rd Quarter.
Okay, Late Afternoon games. Follow that!
You’re really going to challenge the afternoon games to put on a spectacular display of late-game incompetence when Bears-Raiders is on the board?
Putting my fantasy destiny on Dimes. BE RELEVANT JIBTS FFS!11!
You get a few rushing yards from him, is that enough?