I’ve tossed this up a wee bit early because thar be some baseball playoffs going on as well as CFL ball for the (not exclusively tho) Canuckians who are on holiday.
Fallout:
-Well, what the else am I gonna talk about? The fookin’ G-men are done and I’m almost grateful. I can now shift from, “There’s A Chance!” mode into, “Let’s Look Closely At This Rebuild” mode. I lied-I’m not happy about that either.
-“Cowards! All Of Them!” Coaches that settle for the 45+ field goal attempts towards the end of games when it’s 4th and 5 or better. (Hippo breaks this down much better on a relevant game basis in his ‘Thoughts”) Look at the stupidity this generated in the Cincy/GB game. GUH!
-“Oh, You Thought I Was Done?” So I went onto some Giants sites and quickly was bogged down in the minutiae of “Is Kadarius Toney an undisciplined immature young fella or is he showing his fire/feisty nature?” argument. DO BETTER INTERNET! As for my opinion about him? When he gets the ball in his hands it looks like he’s on ice skates and defenders are wearing galoshes.
-The followup on the “Is Herbert matchup-proof?” question might be a resounding ‘YES!’ (I was heavily invested in this answer in 3(!) different leagues.) Their sked starting in week 13 is Giants, Chiefs, Texans and Broncos.
-I’d rather lay on the surgery table at Unit 13 than cheer for the Cowboys but damn, they have an entertaining team. Diggs has almost single-handedly solved the Cowboys problems in the secondary. I’d argue that his six INTs make him one of the most valuable offensive players on the team. Giving the ball back to the O puts great pressure on the opposing team, helps the O find some rhythm, gives them extra opportunities to wear down the opposing D and allows their D some extra rest. (you get a pick 6, you’re right back on the field)
To The Game!
Colts/Ravens:
-This would be a great time for rb Taylor to go bananas. You know, that would be great for his confidence, his self-esteem, his sense of self-worth and my chances of winning.
-Those dirty Ravens! The only ones that knew about this 100 yards rushing team record! They are after it tonight. All the living remaining members of the mid-70’s Steelers look around, thoughtless, just as always*.
*when I typed ‘the remaining members of the mid-70’s Steelers’ what I meant was Terry Bradshaw
Get to the tippy tapping.
This game needs more Tucker. Take the chip shot Harbs!
Colts D is GASSED. It’s all over but the cryin’.
Lamar Jackson can dink snd dunk it with the best of ‘em! Horrible day all around for mouthy white sportswriters.
NOT MURRAY!! GODDAMMIT NOT MURRAY!!!
I feel like the naked cheerleader photos would be one of the few things from Gruden that would actually have been survivable. “I just heard they shot some topless photos of the cheerleaders and like any red-blooded American male I wanted to get a look at them. I’d never have asked if I’d known they had coerced the women into doing it.”
I’ll reserve judgment until I see them myself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn0WdJx-Wkw
I’m just disappointed that whoever runs this site seems to be asleep at the switch:
http://www.isgrudengoneyet.com/
YOU HAD ONE JOB, DAMNIT!
If you’re named Proche just go the extra step and get a rename change to Porsche.
Lot more NFL coaches will be browsing wikifeet this week other than Rex Ryan.
Bring back the Gramaticas!
Where’s Garo Yepremian when you need him?
Maybe its me.
Guys… I think I’ve become SHANK’LOR’s in human form..
Why are they sending Blankenship out there over and over if he has a bad hip? That would seem to be bad for, you know, a kicker.
“YOU MORTAL FOOLS THINK MY ENERGIES WERE SPENT ON SUNDAY? HAHAHAHAHA!” – Shan’Khor
Nah, I didn’t need to go to bed
Working from home rules.
That’ll be me a couple of days a week after my 6 month probation period is up.
HAIL SHAN’KHOR!
SHANK’LOR really is pissed off this week.
Ha ha ha!
Nailed It!
–B. Walsh
Wentz is going to fully Wentz this play.
Screw the team, my feelings got hurt!
To all the fútbol haters:
Diving is now universal. Get over yo’selves.
Look, I don’t want to be racist, but it’s those goddamn (deleted) mother(deleted)(deleted)sucking Italians that perfected diving in football.
-Jon Gruden email #846
SMRT FITBAWL
BLEEEERGH!!!
Last funny;
Alright who did this 😂
Blankenship over on the sideline screaming, crying, and throwing up.
Wentz is so bad.
And yet!
He’s 25/35 for 402 and 2 TDs, somehow
“Jon Gruden made homophobic comments.”
Ingrate.
“Jon Gruden made misogynic comments.”
Caveman.
“Jon Gruden had pictures of topless cheerleaders.”
Part of me is sad to see him go.
What Senor Weaselo googled: “Can you put expired milk down drain?”
What Senor Weaselo should have googled and now Senorita Weaselo is laughing: “Effects of milk bottle falling down 18 story garbage chute”
Yeah! 🎶Fuck the Clots fuck the—
/sees John Harbaugh on the screen
deh
🎶
Andrews owners right now
LoL
10 catches 140yrds and 2 TD’s
That’s ROCKINGGG 💯
So, uh
Lamar is currently 31-37 for 394 yards and 3 TDs
I was made to understand the Ratbirds like to
run the ball.
Well at least we’ve got a real game on for the final two minutes!
Lamar was the last pick in the first round.
I wonder why that is?
His future was obviously as a #2 receiver.
There were a significant number of people arguing that he should just play WR
Hmmmmmmmm
Think how valuable a receiver getting 394 receiving yards and 50 rushing yards per game would be?
Good point. Time for a position change, Mr. Jackson!
HEAVY SIGH
Heavy what now?
Ratbirds just need to miss the two.
ALIVE!!!
What happened to Jon Gruden is proof that the NFL has dirt on every coach and GM and if they don’t like them or if they cross the league or commissioner, they will anonymously release them.
That and Gruden is an asshole who should just go away.
I dont see how this isntue NFL’s fault, it was Allen and Gruden’s own dumb fault this happened
I’m not alleviating Gruden of fault. He shat the bed, now he has to lie in it.
Its just convenient that the additional emails went out to force Gruden’s/Raiders’ hand.
Would 25-25 be scorigami? I couldn’t get it to work.
It would be!
Gruden: “I quit.”
Meyer: “We can do that?!”
Meyer needs to hang on to his job. It’s the only thing keeping him from getting served with divorce papers and losing half of everything he’s earned by exploiting young men in a way even the Catholic Church thinks is “a little much.”
Sudden change wooooo!
The kicking in this game has been…underwhelming.
I’m about to check in and see how the Raiders subreddit is handling this. If I don’t make it out in 20 minutes please send in the S.W.A.T. team.
People are surprisingly content to see him go.
That is surprising. Are we entering a new age of enlightened, erudite, open-minded Raiders fans?
Say it ain’t so
I saw that. It seems like most professional football fans won’t defend their coach like college football fans.
Buddy, you’re on your own
Vaya con dios
(turns on MNF)
Okay? Uh. What?
Humps FG here would make Hippo very, very itchy.
Haven’t the tramadols already done that?
“I’m itchy too, but not because of field goals!”
Jim Irsay, searching through the couch cushions.
Well, well, well. Lucky you.
Now my nightmare scenario is that OT thing where Ratbirds win flip and Tucker gets TWO FG makes.
Since you are not named Brocky I can safely say that will not happen.
Overtime: “Uh, hi.”
Thanks to Andrews, I have now doubled up my opponent in one of my money leagues.
Sourry Litre.
Remember when people used to argue that Wentz was better than Dak?
Looks like he’s winning the derp-off to be my Dak! injury replacement, but only because the only alternative is Darnold.
I meant Charmslinger replacement. Dak! is on money team and really needs to not die.
I would also very much prefer that Dak not repeat last year’s Adventures In Ankle Rotation.
Yeah but is Dak DAKOTA TOUGH?
Don’t matter cuz HAM.
ALCS BOUND BABY!!!!!
Whale the tar out of the Astros, would you please?
Pound on them like they were a trashcan lid used to illegally tip batters about incoming pitches.
They’re getting accused of cheating again. No idea if it’s true or not, but I love the fact that they’ll never escape that stink.
The accusation was basically “they’re better at home than they are on the road HMMMMM” from a guy who plays for a team that’s better at home than they are on the road.
No, Alex Cora was the ringleader of both cheatings, so meteor.
I will now stop cheating on football.
It’s ROCKINGGG!!!
Bar is LIT 🔥
Yay baseball! ⚾️
Mo Allie-Cox, Mo’ time off the clock chuh chuh
Down 16, Tucker is not seeing the field again.
All I can think about watching the Colts right now is that they’re going to beat the fuck out of my Texans next week.
This still-alive-in-eliminator-games guy hopes so.
How many people are still in?
8 remaining from the original 32
8.
I think Carolina got someone this week.
Just went outside and it appears to be raining ash.
Did we have a nuke go off?
Basically. Red Sox just won.
Oh good. That won’t be annoying at all.
Looking forward to seeing Red Sox – Astros/White Sox in Boston and hearing the fans tell us how much the Yankees suck.
Biden thought it was still Trump’s Diet Coke button.
Huh. Indy’s backup RB is in, which is the return of the Mack.
(gets pummeled by Reebok Pump high tops)
Rays are falling apart in the 9th.
Looking forward to their new uniforms next year.
The Expos should be brought fully back with exactly zero changes to their uniforms. Those hats are perfect.
BRING BACK VIDRO TO PLAY SECOND
My sister went to Expo 67 with my grandparents.
Can they rejoin the NL East? We’ll take the Marlins, thank you.
Great News.
The Hooters in Vegas is hiring. I think Gruden has an in for the job
https://www.glassdoor.com/job-listing/hooters-girl-behind-the-bar-oyo-hotel-casino-las-vegas-JV_IC1149603_KO0,27_KE28,54.htm?jl=4031164728
Wasnt gruden’s wife a cheerleader? Weren’t his daughters decked out with silver and black poms poms when he got the Vegas job?
Wonder how he’d feel about their employers doing what the redacteds did.
I spent a night with a girl who eventually went on to work there. I feel like everyone should get to experience something in their life that equates to Winning the Super Bowl, and such was my night with her.