To The Games!
Browns/Bengals:
Welp, I was wrong-Cincy did indeed look past the Jets to the Browns and now they’re here. Refrench my memory, was it the 80’s when these teams were last good at the same time? If shame is a game factor then Cincy should roll today. (if Zac Taylor gets out of the way) Speaking of dead weight, the Browns couldn’t wait to have an excuse to get rid of The Problematic One, OBJ.
Broncos/Cowboys:
Denver is getting 9.5 points on the road and no love from their fans after trading away Von Miller. DAK! is indicating he’s BAK! for this one and that might be far too much for a defense that just had the bandaid ripped off.
Texans/Fins:
Tyrod finally gets back, but to what? Houston is down to two starting o-linemen and it wasn’t a good unit to start with. Cooks is about the only skill talent there but Miami has two excellent corners.
Falcons/Saints:
New Orleans has put together three wins in a row on the strength of a D that means business. With Ridley gone Ryan has little beyond Pitts who showed last week that he can’t handle double coverage just yet. Time for do-everything wr/rb Patterson to do something.
Raiders/Giants:
The Bad News Raiders catch a break as the woeful Giants wander into town. The challenge for Vegas is to get to 31 points because the Giants haven’t scored 30 all year. That’s what happens when your starting skill guys are never on the field together.
Pats/Panthers:
The O/U on this one should be about 26. Both qb’s are shaky at best (tho Jones is the best of the rook’s, she’s a very low bar) so both offenses struggle to put scores on the board. One should add that the Pats are 8th in points allowed and the Panthers are even better at 5th-points will be precious here.
Bills/Jags:
Josh Allen, meet Josh Allen. That’s about it. Buffalo should put a 50 spot on the board, evenly split between O and D, given that they have the best scoring number for both units.
Vikes/Ravens:
Now would be a good time for the Kirkster to get his shit together. Although efficient, he’s only tossed a single score in three of his four and these heretofore stingy Ravens are 30th in yards per play allowed.
Urban wishes he were at his restaurant right now
“You get the ball to the 40 or even the 45, its in Tucker’s range.”
They do know that 66-yard FG was in a dome with no sun or wind, right?”
What be context?
They were talking about Raven’s Kicker Tucker like all they had to do was reach midfield and the field goal was guaranteed.
Cousins – Thielen doubleFG dip.
I’m a genius
3-6, Baby! The Giants are headed to the
playoffs, uh, not the basement!Well, at least the Giants won to maintain the pride of the NFC East
*emo music intensifies*
From Rikki’s room
Every current and former raider has a brick at their stadium. I hope Henry Ruggs III’s is near the handicap parking.
The People’s Jones gets murdered, pops back up, and struts off the field. Damn.
A tip of the safari helmet to Hippo, who warned me away from Burrow this morning.
We’ve replaced teh Bills with the Sabers, lets see if anyone notices
Josh Allen owns Josh Allen
Josh Allen is Josh Allen’s worst enemy.
Lev Bell saying hello from 2016.
They shoot Cowboys, Don’t They?
Save a horse, ride a cowboy
They *finally* cut away from this game.
Burrow’s receivers aren’t doing him favors with the dropsies.
SHA’NKLOR LIVES
I can’t find a gif of a horse literally killing a Cowboy, so this will have to do
That cowboy still has a better chance than Dallas of winning
The Bengals are laying something on their homefield, but its not an egg.
Oh, DAK! You done sealed the game for the Broncs. Again.
I’m seeing double! Donks 54 Dallas Zip!
Did something happen to McManus, or are the Donks just going for 2 for shits and/or giggles?
Good to see John get in a workout
Are DONKS WOO the best AFC team?
/fights off reflexive middle finger with other hand
No!
Hippo Thoughts tomorrow is gonna be a joy
Oh, God. I just saw a 2022 Political Commercial on Nov. 7, 2021. I’m going to have to suffer a full year of this stuff.
Kill me now!
Nope, you get to enjoy this timeliness with the rest of us.
This is the perfect opportunity for the Raiders defense to give up that backbreaking 93 yard drive to put them behind by two scores that they have been saving for a rainy day.
The Quarterback Formerly Known As Josh Allen
“Hey, only we can get our QB killed!” – Cincinnati Offensive Line
Good thing I didn’t go to Buffalo this weekend. The Buffalish must be very disappoint in Josh, as they casually refer to him in conversation
The Allen on Allen crime today is out of control
What, did Marcus take a page out of OJ’s book?
Now that games are an hour later, it’s officially X-mas season. Embrace it and put up lights secularly. Concentrate on the commercial aspects of The ‘Mas.
Just finished putting my lights up. Lol. Nawt doing it in the snow
More like Matthew Left
His full name is Republic of China Jones
DOINK’LOR and SHANK’LOR (X2) have paid the Jags a visit.
Better get the sharp objects far away from Redshirt.
All the Qards are out
Barring any 3 Mile Island meltdown, Dallas game is over.
Fat Guy TD!
So, the Bengals had a let-down game last week and are following it up with another let-down game. Or maybe they got ahead of themselves and are just a badly-coached team.
It’s the battle of two badly run teams with long term issues that somehow managed to accumulate some amazing talent but have no clew what to do now
This is over.
What the Fuck is Dak doing? Lamb was open. he could have ran for a 1st.
And we’re done here.
I CALL THE BRONCOS “THE ANTI-TOMSULA’S” BECAUSE THEY HAVE A CLEAN SHEET!
Banner
Not sure what is most appropriate for that weirdness, but let’s go with this ‘un
OK Cowboys, show me something on this drive, or so help me God that yardwork is actually gonna get done.
You might want to specify what exactly you want them to show you, otherwise this could go badly (although hilariously) wrong
/monkey’s paw curls
Last week the Cowboys were blowing up any Viking who touched the ball. This week they’re trying to play flag football.
I don’t want to overreact, but the lesson I take from this is that they hate Dak! and Dallas needs to trade him and start Cooper Rush.
Wow, the Browns have a punter?!
Nobody punted the first half?!
Wait…did the Donks just accidentally recover an onside kick?
No, they accidently recovered an onside punt.
Yet another instance of Raiders using Carrs irresponsibly, smh
Watching either Coach Harbaugh overreact to a bad call/play will never not be funny.
I hate the packers so much that I got a covid booster shot just to flex on Aaron Rodgers
Sheeple
Wouldn’t it be singular? Sheeperson?
wow. What a shitty rule.
Holy Bananas! Dallas didn’t get a call at home.
Dallas really doesn’t get calls anymore, because they haven’t been good in years, and more importantly because everyone hates Jerry Jones.
Dallas/Washington is basically the ref version of a meteorite game
As someone that grew up seeing the ‘Boys get all the calls at home, even when they were shitty, I can’t process this information.