Hippo Hates All The Things (JV Night/Open Thread)

Yes, I jink bet $40 at +475, but the unspeakable early game still pisses me off.  Typing this just before NC State starts pissing me off (over the cliff of despair).  Apologies for being more curt than usual.

LSU (+28.5) at Alabama (7:00, ESPN)

So fugly that CBS ain’t even want it.  The extra half-point “hook” makes me chuckle.  I can be mean about this, now that we know Coach Orgeron is gross.

Tennessee (-1) at Kenfucky (7:00, ESPN2)

I mean, I get it.  The historical series record is waaaayyyy in UT’s favoUr.  But Blue Moons ought not be a home dog, not this season.

Texas (+6.5) at Iowa State (7:30, FS1)

I ain’t lie to y’all, this slate is a wasteland.  Cornpone State will fuck this up, just like Wake did.

UTSA (-11.5) at UTEP (10:15, ESPN2)

Yes, we see you, Roadrunners!  Shout out to the 500s fan who also likes this, slightly MOAR REEL, JV squadron.  Let’s hope UTEP isn’t like some bizarro-world Coyote.

USC (+10) at Arizona State (10:30, ESPN)

Look, one only flips here because one is an insomniac pervert.  No judgment here.