Welcome back to another middling tilt in primetime! Yeah, I’ll be watching as soon as my Ottawa Senators (well, the AHL version of them-stupid Covid) get blown out by the Kings.
Newsy Notes:
-I thought for sure that OBJ would drag out his signing for as long as possible because he loves that precious, precious attention. But then I thought, “Oh shit, the train’s gonna keep rolling because the acquiescent football media will do the obligatory “Redemption!”, “Reborn!”, “Is This A New OBJ?” and “What Does OBJ Do For The Rams?” angles.
-I do love how the Packers Mark Murphy and Brian Gutekunst pushed all their chips to the middle of the table by offering him the veteran minimum. Perhaps they sweetened the pot by throwing in a Taco Bell coupon! (With the purchase of one(1) meal you can get another meal of equal or lesser value. Offer valid only on weekdays between 2:30 and 4:30pm. Expires at the end of next week)
-There’s another signing today. Cam is back with the Panthers! Darnold is angry and confused, mostly because the fire gods haven’t burned the new ball thrower to a crisp yet. Shoulda danced harder, Sam.
To The Game!
Ravens/Fins:
-It looks unlikely that Tua is a go tonight so we’ll be treated to the league’s (imo) most boring qb. Back in September he threw the ball 49 times vs the Raiders. His yards per attempt average? 4.39. A riverboat gambler he is not.
-Which is unfortunate because the Ravens are in some very unique company with respect to giving up explosive pass plays (PFF’s terminology, not mine) They’re right there with the Lions, Jags and Jets. That’s bad company, till the day I die.
-Lamar is top ten in both rushing and passing. I’m not looking it up but he’s probably the first qb to do that since Mike Vick or Sammy Baugh or someone that played between those two.
-Playing favourites or schedule glitch? This is the Ravens first roadie in 39 days.
Bang those letters, brothers and sisters!
It’s a stupid cliche, but Miami just wanted this more.
Talking about cocaine, not a football game.
The only thing I’ve seen Dolphins want more is to rape some poor tourist who spent a bundle of money on one of those “experience the magic of swimming with dolphins” things.
They really shouldn’t have bothered with the first 40 minutes of this game
“I hear that”
-NBA fans
They didn’t.
Tua, might be ok?
Folks. Just recovering from a lovely day in the newest of havens, New Haven, CT, with my wife and the estimable Don T., Esq. If possible, he is even more charming and generous in person, even willing to overlook my not being able to get into BAR because I didn’t realize they require proof of vaccination and left my card at home. Modern Apizza subbed in nicely. Beers, margaritas, tacos, and pizza were consumed.
Everyone go to Puerto Rico, and get to know Don! If you’re lucky, he’ll let you use a section of the paper towel roll I gave him, courtesy of BFC.
It’s great when your imaginary friends turn out to be real!
Oh we’re not real Gumbygirl.
This whole site and everything related to it is just happening because you got high.
Like a fucking lady!
Do I or do I not say “lizard people”?
I second this! Yesterday he was in the city and he, Senorita Weaselo, and I went to the Szechuan hotpot place Senorita and I went to for Halloween. I second both his charm and generosity, and that next time we’ll have a chance to have a longer evening out (it was Senorita and my anniversary as well), because I definitely owe him drinks.
He needs to do a west coast tour next.
We all need to meet in Wichita.
Wichita can’t handle us.
Kansas wouldn’t know what hit it. Unless we were a tornado, then it would know.
Or carrying on, wayward son.
Man this game sucks. Memes sustain me
I legit believe Terry Bradshaw carries all his money in cash in a briefcase.
It’s all rolled Sacajawea dollars
Susan B’s, he’s old skool. That’s how he spells school, for real!
“Catch and release”
Dad: so what’s the best way to describe this game?
Me: passing off ravens fantasy owners?
Dad: sounds about right
Miami is playing seven nation army? Solid troll move
USA, Cuba, Dominican Republic…ok what other nations are in Miami?
Haiti, Mexico, Belize, and Puerto Rico
Thanks, never been. Always nice to learn!
yeah pretty much south, central and caribbean with Brazilians, Peruvians, Columbians and Jamaicans to add to this list. also Russians and french Canadians
“Don’t forget those damned Je…”
-Pat Buchanan, before having his mic cut.
There are two different leagues where the Dolphins D is sitting on my bench.
I am good at the fantasy footingball.
If it makes you feel better, dolphins are free agents in mine
It does not, but thank you for the effort.
Clearly Brocky isn’t playing in a Japanese league.
TD all day.
talking super bowl
Sure I drop the Miami defence trying to play the match up and now they go off
This game has made BLEERGH angry
Harbs ain’t too happy about it either.
I know it wouldn’t count, but they should have challenged anyway, to prove he was IN
Hope he kept the ball
Big guy TD
Maybe
Nope, awwwww
It was a TD in the best of worlds, which is clearly not this one
I think a personal foul should count over a procedure call.
I think procedure calls are dumb and the offense can line up however they want, just like the defense can.
Ineligible FATGUYDOWN?
Best. Fat. Guy. TD. EVAR.
LOLfins gonna have like 8 plays from the 1. Won’t score, but clock burning aplenty!
Love joining a game late and see I’ve missed nothing
Justin Tucker wishes he missed nothing.
DAMN. love me some Shan’kLor
Ross Tucker’s doing radio color and said “Well, that’s a three-point play because Justin Tucker doesn’t miss.” Right before Tucker missed.
The Steelers are totally going to win the division.
Yes!
At 8-9.
Want 8-8-1
They should make them walk back to Baltimore if they lose to one-handed Tua.
What ever happened to Troy Aikman?
His CTE is just way less amusing than Trent Green’s.
Brain damage.
I like how you expect UCLA matriculants to start smart
He went from Subnormal to Abby Normal.
I will not have any UC bashing by the likes of out-of-state YOU.
Bookmakers having a lovely start to their NFL week 10.
So do the Ravens just suck or what’s up?
(I refuse to believe the SeaBriskets are any good)
RAZZLE DAZZLE!
designed checkdown flea-flicker?
Good FF team name there
Gotdamn. The Senators kid goalie Gustavsson-the only goals he lets in are deflections. I exaggerate, but not by much. Both goals tonight were off his defender’s stick/skate.
Those are the worst to give up. Especially in beer league.
Why haven’t they designed QBs that have interchangeable parts yet? Seems like a gap in the tech
probably MOAR supply chain issues THANKS Obama!!!!111
If they had rifled quartebacks in Super Bowl III, let me tell you…
The same reason Apple changes the connection type every so often.
HARF HARF WAITING FOR NORMAL COLOR DINGDONG
Amusing that the LOLfins owner must have refused to pay to activate a PS quartered back, so now they have to play the dude who can’t use his…throwing hand.
And now, maybe we get to see who their Brian Mitchell is!
Wonder what his throwing hand girth is.
Multipe girth references, yet still no Buddy Cole appearance
Comparing the NFL-branded faux-Army sideline gear to how the Premiership does the poppies for Remembrance Day? Really makes one shamed to be Murrikan.
/yeah, THAT is what pushed me over the edge
The number of times I’ve contemplated saying fuck it and moving to England is too many to count. But they have Trump Lite in BoJo over there so…
I just want to be in the Scottish part of the UK
Me too.
I very much like the SNP.
Van Ginkel is fun to say.
His name should be Rip. Or Pappy.
Christ. Don’t let Berman hear you say that.
van Ginkel to Einhorn, Einhorn to van Ginkel, whoop whoop
Betcha Captain Dingleberry requested The Jews Will Not Replace Us for the back of his helmet.
“Good People On Both Sides” was his first alternate pick
Bad Hombres?
Oathkeepers.
But he’d try to back it up with a bible quote.
Wasn’t his elbow ouchy earlier? I’m gonna put my money on the long-shot diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis
Brisket: smoked
How much Ketamine did they pump into him in the magic tent of healing?
All teh smelling salts. SO. MANY. SALTS.
“It’s always a good idea to rub salt on a brissett…”
-KCBBQLuvver
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLjwwH_2dyM
Brissett’s knee ded.
“I’ll take that.” A. Reid, tying a bib on.
oh noes Jacoby don broke
Is it Tua Time?
Troy doesn’t know his ass from his Harbaugh.
Love guys in suits on fake mini football fields.
I dunno how we ever talked FITBAW without smh
It’s like a life-size game of Risk but it involves potential allegations of domestic assault.
“potential”
If I want to buy glove liners, I need to measure my “palm girth”
The “girth” in my palm is… oh, forget it.
What kind of gloves require liners?
Are you sure you’re not on a sneaky porn site?
My teevee is muted, did that ref die because Teh DEEP STATE refused him Invermicin?
I hope so. The Deep State has been getting soft lately.
Jeez, a Big Ten game broke out.
This will be Michigan/tOSU in a few weeks, until tOSU’s apeman coach yells at halftime
For Viva! Does anyone know how he’s doing?
https://youtu.be/eEep67akIn4
So this game will go 9 OTs ala The Illini’s most glorious victory over Paedo State U?
We can only be so lucky!
I love whenever the Ravens give up as big play, Harbaugh looks completely dumbfounded as to why that was allowed
I think his ‘dumbfounded’ face is other folk’s ‘resting bitch face’.
Kings have completed ownage of Eastern Canadia.
Sourry.
Make sure to send sixpence to the Queen.
Required posting:
Say, didn’t the Kings beat the Rangers for the Cup less than 10 years ago?
Indeed they did, other SonOfSpam
oh, Ratbirds. You let Jacoby Brissett do THAT
wait, why the fuck did Miami call timeout? Do they not understand the rules?
to align the planets for that one throw
Once again, I am rooting for a tie or scorigami.
Is 5-5 scorigami?
It would certainly be evidence of a just and merciful God(dess)
That wasn’t so much “crucial 3rd down stop” as it was “euthenasia for the first half”