Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Enjoying a bit of Steelers shodfreuda as I type this-it’s always sweet to see the picked-on kid punch the bully in the mouth. Over and over again.

To The Game!

Browns/Ravens:

-Both these teams come in hurting a bit and will come out of it hurting more. Such is life in the AFC North.

-The Browns seem the more fortunate team here in that LT Conklin is back as well as rb Hunt. That great ground game is leveling up.

-That said, the Ravens defend the run game very well. What they don’t do well is defend the tight end-players have gone off for 678(!) yards and 6 TD’s against them so keep an eye out for Hooper and Njoku.

-Weird! Cleveland gets a bye next week and after that they play the…you guessed it…the Ravens again.

-Lamar! was being touted as an MVP candidate (because it always has to go to a qb, right?) but his offense hasn’t scored more than 17 points in two of the last three games.

-That might have something to do with the Ravens having employed near 1/2 the leagues total of rb’s. The next guy whose career was nearly dead in the water is Devonta Freeman. He’s acquitted himself quite well with 272 yards and 3 TD’s in a short period of time. He should get a half-decent paycheck next year.

-Ravens are 7-3 but it seems a bit precarious when you consider they’ve scraped out wins against the Lions and Bears, oh my!

Enjoy yourself.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Well fuck.

ballsofsteelandfury

And it’s mercifully over.

yeah right

My name is Jon Johnson, I live in Wisconsin I work in a lumber mill there…

The Maestro

Watching an illegal stream of SkySports to follow the action… British ads are demented.

TheRevanchist

British Dental School ads must be wild

Gumbygirl

Is it the first night of Hanukkah? Happy Hanukkah to anyone of that flavor!

Last edited 2 years ago by Gumbygirl
King Hippo

why on earth is this taking so long? Clearly, it bounced.

King Hippo

They have to fire Sassy Ref. Jesus, he’s awful.

Sharkbait

Aren’t they all?

Gumbygirl

Westwood One claims his crew calls the 6th least amount of pennos. I call bullshit, or at least that 25 or so crews are tied for 5th least.

Mr. Ayo

What is a catch?

I think it is.

King Hippo

Njoku killed-a-Quuuueeeeeenn!

Gumbygirl

I have returned. Interstate 10 is a shitshow. We saw 3 places, put offers on 2. One was a total lowball, but worth taking a flyer on. Probate sale, and it’s in need of updates, so who knows? The other one is more likely.

yeah right

Yucaipa? Know a few folks from Yucaipa.

Gumbygirl

One in Cathedral City, the other in Banning.

Viva La Tabula Raza

IIRC, it’s really windy in Banning because of the San Gorgonio Pass

TheRevanchist

Isn’t the 10 always a shitshow? The reason the 405 is backed up to the Getty Center all day long is 90% due to the whole Santa Monica interchange.

Gumbygirl

Yes it is, but this was the extra special coming home from Thanksgiving at Grandma’s in the desert/ Arizona. Barely moving. But at least there is endless construction.

yeah right

Still some pretty hard low desert. Why not stay in Big Bear? Much less meth production.

Gumbygirl

Gumby vomits every trip we make up or down.

The Maestro

No matter what opinions you hold as a human being, I think we can all agree on one simple, universal truth:

If everyone in the AFC North were executed, I don’t think anyone would mind very much.

Doktor Zymm

Afcnorth.exe

Sharkbait

AFCNorth has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down

Redshirt

ren nfcsouth.exe afcnorth1.exe
del afcnorth*.exe

Petronel

$ cd /bin/nfl/afc/
$ ls -l

-rwxr-x—- 2 gingerhammer nfl 666 Jan 4 20:02 afc_east.exe
-rwxr-x—- 2 gingerhammer nfl 666 Jan 4 20:02 afc_north.exe
-rwxr-x—- 2 gingerhammer nfl 666 Jan 4 20:02 afc_south.exe
-rwxr-x—- 2 gingerhammer nfl 666 Jan 4 20:02 afc_west.exe

$ rm -f *east*

rm: cannot remove ‘afc_east.exe’: Permission denied, because Grumblelord owns your ass.

$ sudo rm -f *east*

sudo: HAHAHAHAno.

$ rm -f *north*

rm: Eh, may as well.

Last edited 2 years ago by Petronel
yeah right

Now what if? Great game that what if.
What if Baker Mayfield is actually shitty?

I’m not casting judgment but what if?

That would really suck for Cleveland’s rebuilding effort.

I guess I’m saying Baker Mayfield sucks just to clarify.

herodotus450

The good news is: nobody cares about Cleveland because they suck and are doo-doo heads, so if Baker flames out it’s ok.

Doktor Zymm

Next time I’m bored I will research why brewed coffee caught on in the States, but not anywhere in Europe, and the supplementary mystery of why they never started doing brewed coffee despite the enduring popularity of the Americano and the prevalence of really awful instant coffee that no one likes in the ex-Soviet states

rockingdog

That’s Rocking!

Also I think I’m gonna get one of those Moka coffee pots for the stove.
They seem really useful for making coffee….

The Maestro

Farts currently smelling like egg salad – which I’ve never eaten even once in my entire life. What is my body doing to me here?

King Hippo

Mine have been like “rotting corpse” all year, and I swear I ain’t been eating any of those, neither. GETTING OLD SUCKS.

Doktor Zymm

Sulfuriffic!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

So how bad is this game? Should I keep watching Christmas Bobs Burgers episodes?

Mr. Ayo

Bob > NFL

TheRevanchist

Yes. It’s bad officiating, bad QB play on both sides, and bad scoring to boot. I have diarrhea right now and am thankful I’m spending more time with my anus burning than watching this abomination.

Viva La Tabula Raza

They are giving me medicine that is actually meant to give you the shits. This is intended to flush the excess ammonia out of my liver and help with the jaundice/cirrhosis/chemical imbalance. It’s weird taking a med that you know is gonna make you miserable, I guess it’s my karma for drinking heavily for nearly 45 years. My anus feels like a goddam lace doily.

Doktor Zymm

No idea, but the answer to the second question is probably yes because Bob’s Burgers is awesome

Mr. Ayo
Redshirt

They ruled that a catch?

Redshirt

♫♪♪ Anything you can derp, I can derp better ♫♪♪

Redshirt

NBC: “The Browns/Ravens Rivalry is completely one sided. No one knows why.”

Everyone: “Steal their team and force them to start completely over as an Expansion Team.”

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
King Hippo

Everybody gets a turnover!

Game Time Decision

I’ll be right there
A Reid

LemonJello

Andy Reid has entered the chat

Mr. Ayo

Fantastic!

— M. Ayo

Doktor Zymm

How is the footballs? It is 4:45 am here and I am at the airport for an early morning flight KBP-MUC-HEL. There are some pretty good raisin cookies, does it mean I’m old that I like raisin cookies?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Raisin cookies are good

Mr. Ayo

Regret to inform. Being up before 5am and enjoying cookies, of any kind, is a strong indicator of experience.

TheRevanchist

You are heading to HEL anyway, so enjoy them.

Doktor Zymm

It’s going to be a cold day in HEL

Redshirt

Controversially Bold Take: Jimmy Fallon sucks as host of the Tonight Show.

The Maestro

Always has. NAWT a bold taek.

Mr. Ayo

The good doink?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Guess this one’s an insurmountable lead

Mr. Ayo

Not so fast!

— L. Corso donning a OSU helment for some reason

King Hippo

A Tucker FG each quarter. 12-nil, I would take it!

Mr. Ayo

Me too! Or a couple of Bateman TDs.

Redshirt

The Factory is operating more efficiently than the North Pole tonight.

TheRevanchist

Is this how babies are made?

Redshirt

Maybe in Baltimore if they keep this up.

Mr. Ayo

I can show you, but you might not like the demonstration.

ballsofsteelandfury

My poster arrived!!

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Redshirt

Cincinnati: The City Where Pigs Fly in May and Where Turkey Sadly Don’t Fly in November

TheRevanchist

And imaginary office doors

Petronel

Any excuse to post the video! (Not that one is needed.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gKUKOGqpHQ

Last edited 2 years ago by Petronel
Redshirt
ArmedandHammered

What the hell is that in the lower right side, some sort of display for peptobismol?

ballsofsteelandfury

That is a shot set based on a dart board. The bottle in the middle is actually pink rimming salt.

ArmedandHammered

I didn’t know you needed salt for that, is blue salt used for men?

ArmedandHammered

And it proves people will put salt on anything.

LemonJello

They using the CFL rulebook for this game tonight?

Game Time Decision

Did they award a rouge?

LemonJello

Still time for them to try.

King Hippo

absolutely ridiculous game management by this crew

TheRevanchist

Oh, this is just insane.

Redshirt

This is a new game: “What is Ready for Play?”.

King Hippo

great teevee, no doubt!

King Hippo

Sassy ref, making no friends

ballsofsteelandfury

Has there ever been a 0-0 tie in NFL history?

Game Time Decision

The box scores are funny. But don’t see the number of punts

Redshirt

reaction-my-eyes.gif (300×226) (tenor.com)

What did the Browns do to their away numbers?!

Game Time Decision

To better match their play

rockingdog

Found a funny;

me: the problem is my balls are so huge they make my dick LOOK small when it’s actually average
cop: [through a megaphone] there are people down here that love you, don’t jump

Horatio Cornblower

“But if you must jump, try to land on your balls!”

rockingdog

Hopefully the Browns can also

F0592A5E-7FCA-4AAC-9DBB-44B1E342B3BB.jpeg
King Hippo

Everyone .500 or better in AFC North AND AFC West. Worst is Yinzers at 5-5-1

Horatio Cornblower

Man, I hope Joan Jett made some serious bank for selling “I Hate Myself For Loving You” for this shit.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Gotta believe that she did.

King Hippo

or she hates her agent for shorting her

Redshirt

I look forward to her updated remix “I Hate that Bitch for Screwin’ Me!”

Horatio Cornblower

OK, now I need the story on why Lemonjello hates Joan Jett and doesn’t want her to make money.

LemonJello

Stupid tablet and my fat fingers at work. I have no animosity toward Ms Jett.

Horatio Cornblower

Chris Simms, Jack Collinsworth. You’re in an elevator with both failsons and have a gun with one bullet: What do you do?

/You shoot the elevator cord and take one for humanity. Don’t worry, they’ll be naming high schools after you for generations.

ballsofsteelandfury

This will be an ugly AFC North game with multiple injuries. One gruesome.

You have been warned.

King Hippo

Come on, Balls. I was tumescent enough already!