Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Not much going on today that I noticed but as always, we’ll do something.

Newsy Notes:

-The Old, Gray Mare, err, running back Adrian Peterson managed to latch onto the teat of the Seahawks. He’s a mere 367 yards away from supplanting Barry Sanders-a guy that knew when to quit-for 4th all-time in rushing. And he’s going to get there! Unless Seattle discovers what the Lions and Titans discovered-there’s no tread left on those tires.

-I Knew It But Ignored It: Saquon has yet to run for 60+ yards in a game this year.

-The NFL is going to be doing a “Responsible Gambling” PSA during games going forward! In related news, they’ve put a cap of six ads for gambling sites for any game. [meanwhile, Goodell blows his nose with a Franklin]

-More Related News: Nevada gambling houses surpassed the “billion dollars bet” mark in October for the first time ever. Woo!

-Pour one out for Bama: Their streak of being the favored team just ended at 92 straight. They are a 6 1/2 point dog to the Dawgs.

To The Game!

Cowboys/Saints:

-Coach McCarthy is a Covid no-show tonight so the mighty Dan Quinn, the DC, steps in.

-You know, to me it’s been a bit of a mystery as to why this supremely talented Dallas team just can’t seem to get its shit together. And then it all became clear. BEN FUCKING MCADOO (ex-Giants fuckup) IS ON THE COACHING STAFF! His sorta title is “Consultant to the Coaches”. What? Who the hell would want to know how to lose a locker room in less than a year? Sorry, Horatio-that stink doesn’t come out easily.

-Kudos to Zeke for trying to work through a nagging knee injury but he’s lacking that extra Oomph! that has put defenders on their backs in the past.

-Kamara is out and so are starting tackles Armstead and Ramczyk. In? Only the likes of Lamb, Amari Cooper and The Marcus Lawrence.

-These squadoos are a combined 1-7 over the last four weeks. I’m leaning towards the Cowboys winning but perhaps the Saints can get back to .500 behind a throaty crowd in the dome. They still play in a dome, right?

Have at it.

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King Hippo

Can Maroni’s trumpet sound the Price Is Right losing horn?

Senor Weaselo

MarbleCon better not end up like the anime con with Omicron.

LemonJello

Which Transformer is Omicron?

SonOfSpam

The Greek one (which means he likes it in the tailpipe)

LemonJello

Doesn’t really narrow it down much.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

More like MarbleCRON amirite?

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Sharkbait

Which Con has the Necronomicon?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Steve Bannon, I think.

Gumbygirl

Stephen Miller always looks like he’s fixing to sprout horns.

Spur

The smell will be unbearable

Spur

I hope Double J makes Quinn and McCarthy wrestle over who gets the head coach headset.

LemonJello

WWE or Greco-Roman style?

Spur

nude Greco-Roman

Spur

Zeke’s neon green cleats are distracting. Hurting my eyes

SonOfSpam

Hey everyone

HI

Do yourself a favor and check out the previous post if you haven’t already. It’s something.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[blushes]

[realizes you are referring to Game Time Decision’s post]

[quietly adds “SonOfSpam” to the enemies list]

[realizes it had already been added four times prior to today]

SonOfSpam

Oh. I meant yours. But GTD’s is great too!

I have failed, will blame my stupid job.

SonOfSpam

I did not realize there was another post after the Raiders one.

Sorry for the confusion if anyone actually followed my advice.

PLEASE READ EVERY POST THEY ARE ALL EXCELLENT!!!

litre_cola

Keep digging mate.

SonOfSpam

You could drown in my flop sweat right now.

Mr. Ayo

Is spam’s defense, that cover pic on GTD’s post is fantastic.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Agreed, it’s perfect.

SonOfSpam

Thank you for coming to my defense. A gently-used Fleshlight is in the mail.

Fronkenshteen

Well I must say, starting this Taysom Hill fella has been a regular rolley-coaster thus far!

Sharkbait

Wait. Guns N Roses is premiering a new video?

A music video. in 2021, ON NFL NETWORK???

SonOfSpam

You know it’s badass because they spelled SKOOL in a wacky manner.

Fronkenshteen

Let’s see if it gets canceled because of “One In A Million”.

SonOfSpam

Lil’Jordan strikes again!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well, at least the quarter went by quickly. Three more of those and we’re done!

SonOfSpam

-mom, watching me fail at Pac-Man at the pizza place in 1980

SonOfSpam

Well, she’d done well at the corner earlier in the evening and

Horatio Cornblower

Neck go bendee, bad.

Spur

I’ve seen plenty of giraffes with broken necks.

ArmedandHammered

I wonder if Seattle has anyone on the team willing to help encourage AP on his quest by following him down the field during rushing plays with a switch while yelling “You BETTA run!”

SonOfSpam

I’d say Marshawn, but he’s too busy enjoying his fattening retirement, as he ought.

Horatio Cornblower

One again, Clapp with the sort of penalty that really leaves you stinging.

litre_cola

Are munchies and stress eating the same?

Spur

depends on the ice cream intake volume. anything over a pint and its stress.

Horatio Cornblower

Gallup somehow managed to make a better catch than Lamb made a move on Jenkins.

And Lamb’s move was insane.

Spur

How many tamales has McCarthy had by now?

LemonJello

2/3rds of a Reid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s half a Wade Phillips, if I’m remembering correctly?

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
SonOfSpam

Shoulda paid attention in Coach Portion Conversion 301.

litre_cola

You were too busy lost in Kliff Kingsbury’s eyes.

Spur

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Spur

Sir, you need to remove the corn husk before you eat that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lamb deserved a touchdown for what he did to that poor cornerback.

Sharkbait

Nods in Sherman Did Nothing Wrong

Spur

CeeDee Dancer

SonOfSpam

CeeDee E. Effgee

LemonJello

Greydick! Dingleberry! Yinzers! SKOL! Thursday Night Football next week!

Last edited 3 years ago by LemonJello
Redshirt

Can someone tell the Saints and Cowboys they don’t have to wait for me to get home? I appreciate the gesture, but they can start playing without me watching.

Redshirt

Has anyone seen Taysom and Tebow in the same place?

LemonJello

One of those “Soaking Parties” the youths are participating in?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “window” and “accident” I thought you were talking about the reason Eli got assigned to do yard work for old Mrs. Witherspoon for three whole weeks.

SonOfSpam

Ooh, a battle for 1st in the DFO fantasy league.

I’d say “I’m gonna beat Balls’ ass” but I don’t want him running in here all bonered up.

litre_cola

Your points against is something.

SonOfSpam

Defense wins championships.

ballsofsteelandfury

Big Time Matchup this week. I am completely prepared to lose. I took one look at your lineup and went, “Oh shit.”

SonOfSpam

Yes, Kalief Raymond would scare anyone. Good luck!

litre_cola

How does Hill keep getting money for his job?

King Hippo

MORE money, each year he re-does his deal, it seems.

His mechanics are so bad that even I can tell.

Spur

Magic Undies

Sharkbait

I hate him so fucking much.

LemonJello

Hinting at a 0-0 tie tonight?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like that these teams are giving the ball back to each other without resorting to turnovers or punts or scoring.

Spur

Does Dak need glasses?

King Hippo

probably just misses his old glasses

SonOfSpam

That’s one of those classic “why is that so fucking funny?” lines.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Come on, seriously? You’ve wakened me from my slumber for *this*?” – Shan’Khor

Spur

yep, its gonna be one of those games again. Spurs game starts at 7pm

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s the line on Kurt Warner not being vaccinated? -800? -900?

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
LemonJello

Vegas took that off the board when the first vaccine was announced.

litre_cola

I see they opened the playbook for Taysom

Spur

Sweet, a game I care about in 4K.

King Hippo

yup, Monkey Trev is THAT BAD, he could lose his jerb to a guy that throws like those on that drive

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish TV was two-way because then Erin Andrews would have just seen me doing situps.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s one of those movies that should have been 15 minutes long. You live in the woods. You should have a shotgun. This problem solves itself.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay I switched the audio over to Storm-Kremer. Praying that this works.

Spur

Anyone know where one could sale ambergris without Uncle Sam asking any questions?

Horatio Cornblower

Iraq?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I assume Cecil would know.

WCS

Ask them:
comment image

Spur

Evening Folks.

Mother Puncher

My wife just referred to Jay Glazer as “that gross little meatball man”

LemonJello

Andy Reid immediately schedules an appointment with Jay Glazer.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s been extended an invitation to participate as a general in the upcoming meatball wars.

Dunstan

I understood that reference!

litre_cola

Hippo, I just cooked the fam a healthy dinner but I want a shame pizza…

King Hippo

I just ATE some shame pizza!! Wallowing in the HEAVY SHAME now.

litre_cola

I need Ingram IIIII to have a shit night please. Praise Gamblor.

rockingdog
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Antonio Brown was -300 as the first player to be caught using a fake vaccine card.</p>&mdash; J Moyer (@JMoyerFB) <a href=”https://twitter.com/JMoyerFB/status/1466529556622315523?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>December 2, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jesus, I’m like Charlie Brown with Lucy’s football. I’ll never learn.

litre_cola

Aren’t you in charge around here?

King Hippo

I mean, I’ve long viewed him as our General Haig

Horatio Cornblower

McAdoo being on the staff explains so much. Probably not as much as McCarthy being in charge of the increasing shitshow, but still, a lot.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
rockingdog

Found a funny;

two cuomos down. Rivers sweating

litre_cola

Under, Dallas – 6.5, Zeke TD. Let’s gooooo!

Horatio Cornblower

This seems like a game Dallas should win 35-13 with all of the injuries, so it’s probably be 17-10 New Orleans.

Redshirt

Checking in from Work Purgatory.

2F880F0B-1F72-497F-9035-7F3617E0073F.jpeg
rockingdog

Firing up Taysom Hill as my QB in ff tonight against Dallas 🏈
Hopefully he and the Saints are Rocking!!

litre_cola

Do you also have special Utah jammers on?

King Hippo

I know whatever I choose between pitch-county Cooper and insanely-high-variance-y Gallup will be the wrong decision.

Mr. Ayo

Gallup

herodotus450

Someone went to hte store and bought a bunch of cookies and then opened the cookies and is now shoving them into my mouth. Someone halp!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I’m sorry, I heard you needed help with something?”
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“See, this is why you pay your personal chef, and you pay him well.” – Andy Reid

https://bucswire.usatoday.com/2021/12/02/nfl-buccaneers-antonio-brown-mike-edwards-suspension/

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