Congrats to our very own water horse for hitting the pillpot yesterday! The thongs of various Destiny’s, Sapphire’s and Kitty’s look forward to being stuffed. Don’t forget to dip your shoulders towards that ungulate-he eats up that shit!
To The Games!
Bucs/Falcons:
There’s much talent in Patterson and Pitts but Ryan clearly misses Ridley-Matt has failed to pass for 200+ yards in four of the last five games. Atlanta desperately needs one other player at the wr spot to assert himself otherwise opposing D’s will keep on keying on the usual suspects.
Cards/Bears:
Chicago is all kinds of beaten up, with potentially six defensive starters missing this tilt. On offense it isn’t much better with Fields and A-Rob out as well although as concerning the latter this seems like a lost season anyway. Arizonny needs this as they jostle with the Bucs for the overall #1 spot.
Chargers/Bengals:
If the game script goes the way it should, Mixon and the outside wr’s should have themselves a feast. I’m not sure if Herbert is going to do well here-he struggles mightily vs top 12 defenses and murders everyone else.
Vikes/Lions:
Of course Mattison gets the big boy bump with Cook out but if you have him you should consider starting Cousins. His fantasy numbers increase a bit when his starting rb is injured. Oh yeah, one should also consider it’s the Lions he’s playing.
Giants/Fins:
Direct from the Savanna (Africa, not Georgia) your spot start qb for the Giants is the long-be-necked Mike Glennon! The Fins are a mere 5-7 but are the muddle of the wild card race with six other teams. As he always does, Giants DC Pat Graham has turned around a defense that has 11 lb’s and cb’s on IR.
Eagles/Jets:
Poor Moore. With Wilson behind center his catch rate drops from 68.6% all the way down to 43.3. Philly’s running attack takes a big hit with Minshew calling plays but the starting rb should get his because the o-line is playing so well right now.
Colts/Texans:
With the Titans apparently going thru a prolonged bad stretch it is incumbent upon the Colts to wrack up as many wins as possible. When Wentz is careful with the ball (games with 0 TD’s) Indy is undefeated-thing is, he’s thrown 4 in his last two. Taylor keeps Tayloring-he’s scored a TD in his last nine straight.
Have a good one out there, boys and girls!
I’m against Dingleberry, but starting Jefferson, so that was like oh shit no, wait WOO!!!
Bonus lion coverage…just in time for them to blow it.
“Man, I wish *these* lions existed back in our day.” – Christians in Rome, circa 100 A.D.
Burrow making an ass of himself with the INT in the endzone.
Yeah, that’s the end of the road for this game.
Goff on Losing
They got goffed.
4th and 10 play action, huh? And the fake was so bad that the free rusher could clearly see a foot of space between the ball and the RB….
Oh it was 4th and 1. Still. Oooof.
#TurdOutThere
Lions with those veteran loser moves
Could use a long pass from Burrow to Chase for a TD.
Lions gunna Lion.
An insult to the British Empire! They should be called the Detroit Kittens!
Good day Sir. I believe kittens to be moar ferocious than Detroit’s finest.
Detroit Balls of Yarn
Detroit Litter Boxes.
ALERT ALERT THE LIONS HAVE THE LEAD IN THE FOURTH QUARTER ALERT ALERT
THIS IS NOT A DRILL, IT’S MORE LIKE A MIRACLE, TO BE HONEST
There’s a symmetry to 1-15-1.
Not if Baby Buster has anything to say about it!
Bengals gotta Bengals.
Bungles!!!
Bears NAWT ded?
I have been to hell but am back with no arrest or murders. Walmart on a Sunday in December is the worst place in the entire world.
“Worse than Nancy Pelosi’s district? I doubt it.” – Fox News anchor
Well, airports and the people who forget their brains the moment they get there are actually the worst. I really need to be rich and fly privately.
I’m not old enough to remember, but I wonder if things were better pre-2001. All the additional “security” rules probably add to a lot of people’s stress levels.
Fuck, I hate shopping at Walmart and Costco. The lower prices aren’t worth the cost to your dignity.
Dig-ni-ty? Intriguing.
That’s about as cromulent as me saying I’m about to make a withdrawal of $100k from my Cayman islands bank account.
I will once again take this moment to proudly say I’ve never once set foot in a goddamn Walmart and I will take that proudly to the grave.
We have achieved butts in seats at Sofi!
That Mixon TD celebration looked familiar-was it this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0FKzPfsxA4&ab_channel=BobbyBrownVEVO
Yeah, but Beatie only punches them white devil bitches smh
Actually, I think it’s a Kid n’ Play thingy but I can’t find the vid.
Woohoo Mixon NAWT ded!
You know Beatie is always willing to fight.
I see the vikings are trying to get to valhalla.
They should change this referee’s name to Shawn Nepotism.
Lawnclippers on pace to blow an Atlanta-sized lead.
I’d like it to be noted that I made this comment before the fumble.
well, ATL minus one. #PedanticHippo
Holy cow, they have *three* different FBI shows on CBS? That’s just sad.
Imaginary team replaces imaginary quartered back.
Can they score some non imaginary points for those of us with ff opponents starting Gravy Defense?
They are turrible. 3rd & 8? 2 yard draw.
I almost want to check in on the Lions game. I might witnessing history!
Burrow is playing through pain.
Yeah, I know, he’s playing for the Bengals.
Mixon ded
What is the point of all these travel restrictions to stop omicron, when omicron’s already in the country and it’s been in the country a good while now, and it was just “discovered” in South Africa after it got there from somewhere else?
There’s not much of a point. It’s theater.
I can’t believe I never noticed until now that if you say “Jared Goff” quickly it sounds like “jerkoff”.
It’s probably because I’m learning Korean, where the K and G sounds are pretty similar.
Burrow is pissed.
“It’s pronounced ‘Pee-Rhine’.”
Also just saw that Cal Bears beat the Troy Boyz USC yesterday.
That’s Rocking!!!
Gronkdown! Things are coming up Scotch-house!
Burrow is finger ded
Mixon and Saquon have done nothing so far, so…not good
On an unrelated note, that dreadful Bradypicksixerception was more delectable than the gazelle (Gisele?) steak that I just had for dinner!
Alexa, change “Kevin Kolb” for “Gardner Minshew”
Greetings, gentlemen (and others)! It would appear that the squadron that inexplicably uses the symbol of the British Empire as their logo might finally get their first victory today! I should hope that the City of Detroit will be prepared for the aftermath — those Nordic ruffians are not known for reacting reasonably under any circumstance!
Yay. Burrow has a hurt pinkie finger.
Looks like a pain tolerance thingy.
Can has safety?
Time for another Bengals Point(s) After Touchdown Adventure!
Rockingdog not sick of Gesicki any more.
Nope.
If he can get like 3 more catches and a TD that would be rocking!
Feel obligated to watch the Giants of course but worried it’ll send me to Snoozie Town.
Time for everyone to stare at another football player’s asscheek.
“Do you want to go to the grocery store” – Mrs Cola.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.” – me
“No you can go.”
“Don’t you want a little time by yourself?”
That’s a good one. I’m gonna memorize that.
Andy Reid can’t make up his mind as to which Chargers tight end he likes more, Parham or Cook.
They are favorite things after all.
More truth in labeling – Jest special teams working towards earning that “special” moniker
THESE JETS I CALL THEM T.E.R.F.s BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT PATs TO BE A PART OF THEIR LIVES.
Upon realizing this, J.K. Rowling just became the Jets’ biggest fan!
Fun fact: I was actually thinking of using J.K. instead of TERFs but thought it might make the joke too confusing.
This is worse than the Bungles from the 90s.
It doesn’t surprise me what’s happening with the Jets – the PAT is more of a New England thing.
Can Minshew start throwing some fucking INTs?
Yes, my opponent figured out Hurts was out and started Minshew.
That dude Minchew is ROCKING!!!