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[exterior Coach Zimmers’ compound in Kentucky]

Coach Zimmer walks in the front door of his expansive residence looking forlorn. He tosses his keys on the hall table and removes his Vikings cap.

Coach Zimmer: “Hello? Beansie? Maria? I’m home!”

A distant squeaking sound is heard and approaches Coach.

“EEK EEEK EEEK!”

CZ: “Beansie! Hey boy! How the hell are you?”

Beansie jumps into coaches arms.

Beansie: “EEK EEEEK EEK!”

CZ: “Boy, it sure is good to see someone happy. Tell you what old Beans, I’ve had a hell of a day. Hey, where’s Maria?”

Beansie: “EEK EEEEK EEK EEEK EEK!”

CZ: “What? What’s wrong boy?

Beansie jumps up and down excitedly and sprints towards the kitchen. Coach follows.

CZ: “Now what. This day couldn’t get any more insane.”

Coach follows Beansie to the kitchen where Beansie jumps on the kitchen table and points at what appears to be a letter on the table. Coach picks up the letter.

“Dear Coach Zimmer:
I’m so sorry to have to tell you this this way but I just couldn’t stand to see your look of disappointment when you came home today. I heard the news about your job and it brought me to tears.
I decided it would be best if I were to move on and find another job elsewhere. I care about you and Beansie so much and this just breaks my heart.
You should know that I’ve never had a better employer or a better friend. You and Beansie and our dear Mr. Winkles brought me so much joy.
I know you’ll be fine and will find another job very soon but it was just too much to face you on what is sure to be one of your sadder days in life.
I will always think highly of you and will miss your dear “boys” Mr. Winkles and Beansie terribly.
All of the best in your future, Coach.
Your friend:
Maria”

Coach sets the letter down carefully and sits in stunned silence for a moment.

CZ: “She.. She’s gone, Beansie. Maria left us.”

Beansie: “Eek. Eek.”

CZ: “Christ man, what the fuck else can happen today. Fuck this shit. Hey Beans? Let’s go take a walk in the woods. What do you say?”

Beansie jumps up and down excitedly.

Beansie: “EEK EEEEEK!!!

CZ: “Hell yeah, boy. Enough of this morose shit. Let’s go to our favorite spot in the woods, huh?”

Coach puts his cap back on, grabs his keys and walks out the front door with Beansie closely behind.

[half an hour later]

CZ: “Now we’re talking. Holy shit I love it out here. Isn’t this more like it Beans?”

Beansie: “EEEEK EEEEKKK!!”

CZ: “Hey wasn’t it right around here where we first found Mr. Winkles? I sure miss that guy. Hey? What if he came home when he left us. What if he came back here? Let’s look around. Mr. Winkles?! Hey Mr. Winkles?”

The Coach and Beansie wander around in larger and larger circles calling for Mr. Winkles.

Coach pauses and looks in the distance.

CZ: “Hey look Beansie! I see somebody over there. An older gentlemen. Let’s go say ‘Hi’.

The two approach an elderly man who is sitting on a fallen log who has a fishing line cast into the stream.

CZ: “Hello? Excuse me? Hi Mister. Having any luck?”

The figure turns around slowly.

Bud Grant: “Why hello there young fella. Can I interest you in a cold one?”

CZ: “Holy shit! You’re Bud Grant! The greatest Vikings coach ever! Hell yes, I’ll take a cold one. What brings you out here?”

Coach Zimmer sits down next to Bud Grant and gladly accepts the beer he’s handed.

BG: “Looking for a little solitude, same as you. I love it out here. It’s peace and serenity every time. Really sets the mind at ease you know?”

CZ: laughing “Yeah, I know just what you mean. Holy shit what are the odds of finding you out here.

BG: also laughing “I could say the same thing. Although, a little woodland creature did mention that you liked it out here and I took a gamble.”

Coach Zimmer looks slightly puzzled.

BG: “Oh don’t mind me. My mind wanders. Hey Coach. I heard the news about you this morning and I’m just dadgum sorry to hear it. I thought you did a great job as coach of the Vikings.”

CZ: “Thanks! Thank you for saying that. It really means a lot to me. Hell you were the greatest Vikings coach ever so to hear that coming from you…”

BG: takes a sip of beer “I appreciate you right back. You know? Lots of folks say you have to be slightly insane to want to coach in the NFL in the first place. It’s got a firing rate of close to 100% except for the few who retire on their own terms. Then you got your press and the fans getting after you. Don’t get me wrong, I love our fans but this job isn’t for the timid. And to be honest I don’t think you got a fair shake being saddled with that quarterback.”

CZ: “Cousins? Tell me about it. You know that wasn’t my idea. At all. I know just what you mean Coach, about the media and the fans. Hell, look at you? You came back and coached AGAIN.”

BG: “Not sure that was the best of ideas but I did indeed try again. You know, getting to four Super Bowls and never winning one just doesn’t settle easy on a person. I felt I needed to try one last time.”

CZ: “You came damn close though and I know our long time fans will always love and respect you for that.”

BG: “I guess.” Bud Grant take another sip of beer “Did you hear what I just said about seeing a woodland creature?”

CZ: “I did but wasn’t sure how to take that. You spend enough time out here and strange things can happen. A person starts to see things.”

BG: “I wasn’t kidding though. Follow me.”

Bud Grant takes his fishing line out of the water, props his fishing pole next to a tree, picks up his beer and starts walking in the woods.

CZ: “What the hell? Come on Beansie let’s see what Coach Grant is talking about.”

The trio walk for a mile or so into the woods. then step into a clearing.

CZ: “Holy SHIT! Holy shit, Beansie do you see that?”

Beansie: “EEK!! EEEK!!!”

CZ: “Could it be? Did you find Mr. Winkles for us Coach Grant.”

BG: “I was wondering why a wolverine would call himself that. So you know that little fella do you?”

Coach Grant points to the cave opening.

CZ: “Ha HAA! Look at that, Beans. It’s Mr. Winkles. I’ll be goddamned! Hey Mr. Winkles! C’mere Buddy!”

Mr. Winkles stands in silence for a moment then turns and walks into his playhoos glancing once over his shoulder.

CZ: “Mr. Winkles? What’s wrong with him Coach Grant? Why didn’t he come see us?”

BG: “I think he wants you to follow him inside.”

CZ: “Really? To be honest I usually stay away from his lair. Mr. Winkles can be a little… Aggressive I guess you could say.”

BG: “Trust me on this one Coach.”

CZ: “Wow. Tell you what this may be the best beer I’ve ever drank. Sure hits the spot.

BG: “You enjoy that sip there, Coach Zimmer. You earned it.”

CZ: “Well, alright then. Damn glad to meet you out here Coach Grant, Been a real damn pleasure. Hey Beansie let’s go say hi to Mr. Winkles, c’mon.”

Beansie stands next to Bud Grants foot and whimpers.

CZ: “Beans? Come on boy, let’s…”

BG: “Coach? I’ll watch Beansie. Why don’t you go ahead and see what Mr. Winkles wants.”

CZ: “I’m not sure…”

BG: “Coach, I said trust me. You know how I knew Mr. Winkles was out here?

CZ: “I’m not sure.”

BG: “I knew he was here because he’s always been here. Waiting. For this. For this day. Forever.”

CZ: “Come again?”

BG: “Go on now. It’s your destiny. And if you happen to see Denny Green in there give him a hug for me will ya?”

CZ: “Denny Green but…” Coach Zimmer swallows hard; “Got anything to say to Brad Childress or Jerry Burns?”

BG: “Yeah. You can tell them to get fucked.”

Coach Zimmer looks at Beansie and notices a tear running down Beansies face.

CZ: “Beansie?”

Coach Zimmer turns and walks into the cave as Bud Grant and Beansie start walking in the opposite direction.

[interior Mr. Winkles PlayHoos. It’s extremely dark with a slight luminescence coming from the walls]

CZ: “Mr. Winkles? Hey where are you Buddy?”

MW: “Snarlgnashriptearsnarlsnarl!”

CZ: “Relax boy! It’s just me. Coach Zimmer.”

Coach looks around him as the luminescence from the walls gets brighter. He notices that he is surrounded by an entire army of wolverines.

CZ: [gulps] “Hey Mr. Winkles? Who are all of your little friends?”

The luminescence begins to dim as the herd of wolverines advances on the coach.

Fade to pitch black.

“SNARLSNARLRIPTEARRENDGRASHCHOMPSNARL!!!”

The End.