You know what is great in life? Naps. OK, and cats. Cats also LOVE it when you abide by their schedule and nap during the day. I napped for the entire duration of MRSA 31, Iggles 15. I regret nothing.
That means I woke up in time for what promised to be the best game of the day. And I guess it kind of, sort of delivered (thanks to the alternatives), though ample derpitude was on display. Santa Clara basically inverted their Week 18 performance, coming out shit hot – then limping down the stretch. The first Tomsulas punt came at halfway through Q3, but they only had 16 points on the board. I thought this could be important, but with the score later 23-7, I kind of let that thought go.
But Dallas kicked a long FG (rather than go for it on 4th down), and Bad Jeanine did her thing – throwing an awful pickerception in…unadvantageous field position. For once, the Non-Gendereds made their lucky break count, and it was 23-17.
Santa Clara proceeded to take most of the time off the clock. Really stupid DAL pennos helped, none more than defensive holding on a SF run play, which meant 3 running plays would take us to around 35 seconds before the next N-GCp possession. And Deebo Samuel – who absolutely carved the home side apart – made a bitching run to the 37, seemingly ending the game.
Full credit to Commentist clint greasewood – Deebo Does Dallas.
But replay found him an INCH short, Tomsulas then not getting set for a procedure penalty (before a QB sneak easily got said inch). So, they punted through the end zone, 32 seconds and no timeouts. No big deal, right?
Wrong. They allowed easy chunk plays, and easy chunk plays that got out of bounds. Dallas had it on the Tomsulas’ 40, with like 14 seconds to play – and they got too cute. Dak! ran a wide-open QB draw, but waited too long to slide AND failed to find the official for a quick spot. Keystone Kops ensued, there was no timely snap, and play ended on the 23-yard line. See you in GB next week, Tomsulas. See you in front of ALL THE ICED CREAM, Captain BlueBunny.
So…SNF, Kansas City favoUred by like 100 points against The Ben and crew. Coach Epps, as ever earning his paycheck and making this meh roster cromunlent performers – kept the Chefs scoreless for the first quarter and a half. Not only that, TJ Watt managed to break the clean sheet with a fumble return of his own, leading to all white male sportsball media to cream their respective pants. 7-0 PIT.
Apparently, Mahomes and the Chefs’ offense just needed a slap in the space. They scored FIVE TDs on the next FIVE consecutive possessions – before the Yinzers managed so much as a FIRST DOWN of their own. After that, it was just back and forth with the garbage time scoring, as the Chefs cruised to a 42-21 win and a sure home loss* to Buffalo next weekend.
*reminder/disclaimer – Hippo is almost always wrong
RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! and Qards Monday night, to finish the road. Only Arizona has a chance against the MRSA fuckholes, so Go Qards!
i know the NFL creams its pants over the top stars, but Collinsworth’s face was painted with Watts’ man chowder during the entire game.
Watt is a verified beast and plays out of his mind.
Saying that. If an anvil dropped on his head, I’d throw the biggest party ever.
Because he’s a dick.
So, here is a fun scenario: Aaron Rodgers wins the Super Bowl and then goes to Pittsburgh to play for the Steelers next year.
I mean, how HATED would he then be?
How about: Rodgers retires from American football and declares he wants to go to Australia to play in the AFL.
Then he gets Djokovic’ed and kicked out of the country, becomes despondent and kills himself.
That’s a happy ending.
I think it’s be funnier if he died due to some quack alternative therapy, like he gets terminal gout as a result of drinking his own urine.
Thank fuck y’all ain’t got the draft capital to make that happen. It’s Denver or bust, baby!
Cowboys shit the bed
Ben’s career over, looking to run a strip club in downtown Pittsburgh
No agonizing over watching the Ravens’ JV squad
With today being a holiday, the game should start at like 3 and then we can all go to bed early.
PREACH BRUTHA
I’ve only just started watching Invincible but I enjoyed this meme very much.
From here:
https://mobile.twitter.com/IT_Spook/status/1482856996403564552
Reading about “The Day of Upsets” – I learned that Equatorial Guinea’s side are called National Thunder. How badass is THAT?
gooooooollllll to mighty Burkina Faso!
Didn’t watch a single game, although I thought the Tomsula’s game might be enjoyable, but with it being bookended by a gangblow of Brady and a paen to a rapist, I did not feel altering the flow of my day. I did drop in on the open threads and check the scores on ESPN but that was all the enthusiasm I could muster. The NFL is becoming a casual hobby of mine due to the asshole owners, the lack of coaching talent, and the few horrible people playing the game. I guess I am mainly following now to be able to keep up and converse with everyone here, because that is where I am getting the most of my enjoyment of football from.
Truth. I probably wouldn’t watch much either, but this place is my happy place!
JJ Watt getting healthy and dangerous is something I’m prepared to tolerate.
I don’t think the Qards can beat the Dreamboats. I do think that RAMMIT is who we should get behind in the NFC.
It’s about Chandler Jones drinking their milkshake, and Kyler Murray not being…The Gospel According to Fatthew.
Yes!
https://youtu.be/YZO8Zeye5K0
You need a team to beat both the Dreamboats and the PaQers. So whoever can do that, go for it.
Less enjoyable than saturday despite the extra game, although I did manage to get some housework done, drink too much, and get completely over chicago dude (years and years too late, but whatever still a win). Also the Cowpersons lost in hilarious fashion, which is still fun even when I am no longer a fan of one of their rival teams!
I guess I’m too greedy – Ben Roethlisberger’s career ended, which is nice, but I wanted to see Tyreek Hill’s career end, too.
No harm in hoping for the best!
Oh, that’s a win. Personally, I grant extra points for also deleting the contact, as I favor complete exorcism.
Yeah, gonna have to scratch that piece. He stopped by this morning while he’s technically at work and we’re watching the new ep of grand tour. He’s worth keeping around, and definitly easier to deal with living in different states
I briefly turned on DAL/SF via Hulu somewhere in the 4th. Saw three feeds — one was Nickelodeon Jr. It had like regional level announcers and even-more- childish-than-the-original graphics. There also seemed to be a sliming booth set up in AT&T Stadium but I only got a glimpse of it when I turned on the channel. But I guess they have some sideline storyline about that rather than covering typical, I assume, AAron Rodgers updates.
About 5 of the 6 minutes I had the game on resulted in no action. I did see one pass play (completed before sterling out of bounds). Then I went and picked up Mexican food and spent the evening with my family. I cannot tell you how much hitting rock bottom has made me lose touch with the patience and forced-multitasking required to sit through NFL broadcasts. I hope I get it back someday — you know, like some Covid survivors say about their sense of smell or Ashlii Babbitt’s husband says about that Longhorn Steakhouse gift card she carried in her chest pocket.
I actually turned that game off late in the fourth to do some gardening before it got dark. I’m unlike you in that I don’t hope I “get it back” though. I feel like I managed to break the hold the NFL has had over me and that’s a good thing. I didn’t even check the (predictable) result of the Steelers-Chiefs game until now.
Just don’t leave us! We miss you when you’re not around.