Your Redshirt/DonT Fight To The Finish and Open Thread

Guess who was inundated with every kind of hat ad imaginable all week long? This guy, that’s who. (the personal sacrifices I make for this site, smgdh) Maybe it’s just the football yakkers doing their thing to keep interest up (which is completely unnecessary during the Final Eight Round, by the way) but each “dog” playing this weekend has a legit shot at a win. (I feel there’s no real dog in the Bills/Chiefs game tho)

To The Game!

Bengals/Titans:

-Vrabel mentioned that he wanted to see how King Henry reacted to contact during practice. After sending three practice squadders to the hospital, coach announced that Derrick was ‘ready to go!’.

-Entering Belichick/Reid Territory? Vrabel is 8-0 when his team has had rest.

-Back in 2019 the Bengals were the league’s worst vs the run. After overhauling the D (there are only 2 holdovers from that team) they now sit at 13th. Turning over that many players while assembling that O unit indicates that despite everything you might imagine about about Cincy’s head office, they’ve done incredible work/gotten lucky.

-However! Their o-line features three starters with bottom 10 PFF grades if you’re into that sort of thing. So… quick passes it is. (with the occasional long throw to Chase)

-Speaking of, the fella is 27(!) for 507(!) and 3 TD’s over his last three games. The Titans are middle of the pack DVOA-wise in defending the other team’s #1 wr.

-One thing you can say about the Titans OC Downing is that he is disciplined/stubborn with respect to his commitment to the running game. Don’t expect him to change course if they get down by two scores.

-I mean, that almost certainly plays into the Titans game plan, right? The last thing the Bengals should do is go the quick score route and force their iffy D back onto the field for long stretches at a time-that’ll no doubt catch up to them towards the end of the game.

-Also, Burrow’s tendency to take punishment/sacks doesn’t mesh well with a Titans front four that has dumped the opposing qb on the ground the 2nd-most times this year.

It’s time to make those fingers dance.

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Redshirt

Joe Burrow: 24 pass attempts
Joe Mixon: 6 rushes

A bit one-sided.

herodotus450

Either I have CTE or that was the shortest halfed-time I ever did see.

Redshirt

Yes.

King Hippo

Get back to the booth, Mr. Green. I will have an intern help you find your pants.

King Hippo

This year’s Superb Owl halftime show will be Snoop Dogg cleaning out his bong water.

rockingdog
Dolph Ucker

Jaws has lost some serious weight. Guess the cocaine is paying off.

King Hippo

It truly is the one and only effective dieting aid.

litre_cola

Karen Carpenter disagrees.

King Hippo

But we’ve only just begun…

Dolph Ucker

She’s not heavy, she’s my sister

Dolph Ucker

She’s not heavy. She’s my sister.

King Hippo

I have to say…pretty sure I couldn’t pull off the “purple suit” look. Plus, I’d feel like I was Tinky-Winky or some shit.

King Hippo

Does another one of those (many, functionally identical) carriers get to remain the official 4G network of the NFL?

/signed, guy who still has BlackBerry

Last edited 2 years ago by King Hippo
Don T

Loved this preview. More insightful than all the stuff I’ve read since Monday.
Still behind; it’s 6-6 in 1st halves.
ANOTHER TIT SACK
yeah, I’ll catch up soon

Redshirt

Will the Bengals Trainers go Any Given Sunday and follow the Hippocratic Oath and give Burrow ice and heat or will they go Varsity Blues and pump Burrow’s knees with sweet, tasty pain killers?

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Spur

halftime
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ballsofsteelandfury

The Hangover movies are on today as alternative programming to the games. I just finished the first one and they’re starting the second one. Got the game on the bottom screen.

Let’s just say that Tracy (White Doug’s wife) is extremely attractive.

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Spur

Now that’s how you run out the clock

-McCarthy

Redshirt

(Bengals hunts down and hands ball to referee to spot the ball)

Dez: “What is he doing?”

herodotus450

It’s just too bad that Tennesse’s starting quarteredback got hurt and they have to deploy Tannehill in such a big game.

Dolph Ucker

Beer has food value but food has no beer value

herodotus450

Very fresh bread might have a little yeasty alcohol business still in it?

King Hippo

I might have just let that clock run.

Redshirt

Agreed. You don’t let the Titans talk about this punt and you get a timeout to run your FG team on the field.

litre_cola

Where is Don T???

King Hippo

surrounded by many burning candles, trying not to get hot wax on his wing-wang?

litre_cola

He did send me a message that he was drinking the bottle of gin I sent him this morning with his lady friend.

King Hippo

Gin in the morning
Liver takes warning

King Hippo

ooooohhhhhh!!!

/y’all is too smart for me sometimes

Dolph Ucker

That would have been good from 64

hippofant

That was an adorably cute sack by Simmons. Was like he just tucked Joe Burrow into bed.

Redshirt
Redshirt

Have we not (virtually) met?!

litre_cola

That dude has been such a solid kicker all year.

Doktor Zymm

If this game stays 6-6 they can bring in McNabb to commentate

Redshirt

Fake FG Pooch Punt?

Redshirt

I WAS WRONG!!!!

rockingdog

LOL

Big ol’ Stinkin Raccoon 🦝

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Last edited 2 years ago by rockingdog
ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, but WHO put the dead raccoon in the AC duct in the first place???

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Petronel

FBI takes those inter-agency hoops games seriously.

King Hippo

Like I says, it’s always the coons! – Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL

King Hippo

Just run and kick the FG

King Hippo

ain’t nobody ever listen to Hippo

hippofant

nope never

Dolph Ucker

Better lucky than good!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“That’s what I kept telling my patients! Well, some of them. The ones where I got lucky.” – Dr. David Chao

Dolph Ucker

Cincinnati
Cincinnati
Why doesn’t my stupid phone know how to spell Cincinnati?

Redshirt

Well, on the bright side, seeing the franchise get the beat up and your RB running into a brick wall could convince Duke Tobin to invest in the OL in Free Agency and the Draft.

The Bengals are close. Closer than we all thought. They just need a better line.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Redshirt

They still need to invest in the OL. Just imagine this offense if Burrow has time to throw and Mixon isn’t making his first cut three yards behind the line of scrimmage.

Dolph Ucker

Exhibit A

herodotus450

“We drafted Anthony Munoz 25 years ago, what more do you people want!?”
-various Browns

Horatio Cornblower

Burrows, Mixon, Chase, Higgins, that TE whose name I can’t spell; it’s all there.

I suspect their picks this year will be O-line, O-line, O-line.

litre_cola

Cue the ” I wonder if that will come back to haunt them taeks”

Brick Meathook

Eggs Benedict in Beverly Hills, ca. right now.

Brick dines amongst the swimming pools and movie stars.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Now THAT looks like a proper plate of Eggs Benedict!

Brick Meathook

And it only cost $45.00, plus tax and tip. I think that cup of coffee was ten bucks.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yup. That sounds about right for Beverly Hills. I once had breakfast at the Peninsula, just a simple eggs and bacon plate, and I believe the cost was somewhere around $65 out the door. Fucking glass of OJ was double figures.

rockingdog

That’s Rockingggg

rockingdog

Tricky Tricky Tricky

Henry with the TD run

That was kinda Rocking!

Doktor Zymm

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Fronkenshteen

Giggity

Brocky

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Brocky

I’m sorry redshirt

Redshirt

In my heart, I knew this would happen.

Redshirt

Tannehill is dinged up? Thank you, 17-game season and three-game preseason.

Redshirt

He still has rust. Only playing time can knock that off.

SonOfSpam

Touchdown, Not Quite Himself.

Fronkenshteen

Bengals don’t win this without Mixon.

Fronkenshteen

Mixon, mixon, mixon. Grind clock. Win game.

rockingdog

That would be Rocking

King Hippo

the longer you can has ball, the less exhausted your Tractorcito-battered defense is in Q4

Redshirt

They need to dust off the Andy Dalton playbook and do the three step drop and throw plays. If they do plays that require several seconds to go through progressions, Joe Burrow will be in the ICU by the end of the 3rd Qtr.

Also keep Mixon involved. He doesn’t need to take over, just be enough of a threat to keep the defense honest.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Fronkenshteen

I don’t hate that. Gotta get Beattie going & keep Tits D honest.

Redshirt

OH, COME ON! THAT’S TWO FREE HITS THEY’VE GOTTON ON BURROW! GET INVOLVED REFS!

King Hippo

Death by offensive timeout, well done!

King Hippo

TN very much is killing it in the punt game.

herodotus450

New rule: instead of those mooching war widow charities, the proceeds from player or coach fines go directly to a lucky, randomly selected fan in attendance at the game. It’s like winning the lottery, but at the expense of a concussion-addled lunk who will probably end up in worse financial conditions than the fan!

Doktor Zymm

That’ll really help the NFL secure all those ex-Nascar fans that left because Nascar got too progressive!

Fronkenshteen

This Ryan tannehill I call him his wife because Kentucky windage uh…her tits…ah I don’t fuckin know.

Redshirt

That pretty much describes Ryan Tannehill’s success as an NFL QB. You can’t really define it; it just works.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE GUYS THE CINCINNATI BENGALS I CALL THEM URBAN MEYER CAUSE THEY LIKE KICKING THINGS.

Fronkenshteen

Paramount+ app is currently shitting the bed.

King Hippo

it held up for me during Shempions, but one assumes that was like .01% of the traffic of NFL playoffs

Fronkenshteen

Yer not wrong

Redshirt

Are you on a German server?

Fronkenshteen

[makes painful screaming orgasm face]

[explains self to wife]

[is sued for divorce]

Doktor Zymm

Doing ok on my laptop, but seems like it would be bad marketing to give people on the free trial a shitty stream right out the gate

Redshirt

That idle game I downloaded yesterday begs to differ.

Fronkenshteen

“Did we piss you off. Well, how’d you like more of the same, but now you hafta PAY for it?!”