Your Bengals/Chiefs AFC Championship Game Open Thread

A sobering thought just occurred to me-there’s only three games left this season. Damn. Well, at least I’ve got the Senators and Sillycuse to watch. Okay, do me a favor and gouge my eyes out. If it was good enough for Zedekiah then by gum, it’s good enough for me!

To The Game!

Bengals/Chiefs:

-Much has been made of the bananas shootout game back in week 17 and how we might see a repeat of that. Can I throw a bit of cold water on that?

-Well, for one thing, Cincy has been averaging all of 20 points per game during their last three while K.C. has been on fire, averaging 35 in their last 5.

-Sure, Evan McPherson has been rightfully given his props for his swagger and coolness under pressure but settling for field goals in this game is going to get the Bengals a blowout loss.

-Is it Tee Time? A fella (Montgomery might be his name?) on a Rotowire podcast noted something that I found interesting. Wr Chase, in his first game with a few teams went gangbusters. Versus Pittsburgh he had 65 yards and 2 TD’s-after they made adjustments for the second game he was shut down and it was Higgins that had 114 and a TD. And it was the same with the Ravens-201 yards and 2 TD’s the first time around but it was Higgins that had 194 and 2 TD’s in the return tilt. No doubt Spagnoulo will tweak things regarding coverages on Chase and perhaps that opens the door for Tee.

-Is Burrow’s willingness to take a sack part of his overall strategy of protecting the ball? He’s had only one interception in his last seven games and that was off the hands of Perine last week.

-Yes, there were 9 sacks taken last week but previous to that in the 4 games prior he was getting dumped 2.4 times a game. As far as (very) recent history is concerned, the Titans game may have been an outlier.

-Can you outscore the Chiefs at home? The Chargers and Bills accomplished the feat but that was way back in week’s 3 and 5. Mahomes is 8:1 with a 9.4 YPA and a 76% completion rate in the playoffs so far.

-Another sobering thought but this time for Cincy fans-they’ve scored but one TD in their last 18 drives.

Enjoy what’s on offer.

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TheRevanchist

Now I guess it’s okay to hit a player that is out of bounds. Jesus

King Hippo

Hippo can bring together the left and the right – if elected President, I will shoot Michael Bay in the fucking face.

Senor Weaselo

Will he have a movie-esque explosion?

clint greasewood

Yellow card for simulation.

King Hippo

he’ll miss the away tie of this round now

Senor Weaselo

I’d be down with 15 yard penalties for embellishment.

TheRevanchist

I guess it’s okay to hit the person who signals for a fair catch now. Fucking refs keep not calling shit on the Bungles to try and make this a game.

Redshirt

…okay?

King Hippo

refs be all liek hey, a Hardman is good to beat NO BLEERGH

Old School Zero

BLEERGH slumbers still

Old School Zero

what a half-assed late flop, too *laughs in FIFA*

King Hippo

Still a great throw, Burrow’s the real deal

ballsofsteelandfury

Speaking of tightening up of buttholes, I’ve found that my form on squats improves greatly if you focus on opening up the butthole.

You won’t see those types of tips on YouTube Fitness videos…

Fronkenshteen

Scotchy right as rain yet again!

TheRevanchist

The soccer game is like “The us has a player who plays in MLS”. I’m like hahahahaha!!!

Old School Zero

hope springs eternal

Senor Weaselo

I don’t understand why Eminem, Kendrick, and Mary J Blige are there for what I would assume to be an homage to West Coast rap.

Shit, we’re gonna get Hologram Tupac.

JustStopDude
Senor Weaselo

Well I was gonna go downstairs, get a drink and snack, and take out the bottles and cans all at the half… but I forgot the keys and locked myself out. So now I get to wait for Padre Weaselo, who also has the keys.

Sharkbait

But do you have the drink? It’s cold out and it’ll keep you warm

Senor Weaselo

I’m inside the apartment building, and the drink was going to be of the carbonated kind. Also I said I was going to get the mail because I didn’t yesterday.

Last edited 2 years ago by Senor Weaselo
Redshirt

…AND HERE’S COMES C.J. UZOMAH!!!! in civilian clothes and a full leg brace. Fuck.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
King Hippo

an actual By GOD stop??

Redshirt

Chiefs are playing with their pray. Reid/Bieniemy are calling weak ass plays so KC won’t be too cocky going into the Super Bowl.

The Maestro

Good afternoon. It’s tight butthole time for Redshirt.

Redshirt

Its no longer tight. Its be loosened up several times in rapid succession.

WCS

Skyline chili will do that.

ballsofsteelandfury

CANADA SO CLOSE TO THE SECOND!

King Hippo

I dunno who this Kendrick Lamar is, shouldn’t he be on Celebrity Big Brother instead??

SonOfSpam

(replaces “Rikki” with “Hippo” in SO WHITE jokes)

Redshirt

Whatever happens, its been a hell of a year. The Bengals not only showed they are one year away, they broken down the damn door. They still need help with the offensive line, defensive line and their defense still isn’t ready to take on the best of the league.

Either way, I had fun this year. If they come back, I’ll be happy. If not, I’ll be content.

Nearer my God to Thee – YouTube

Spur

Don’t we usually get a halftime show for the conference games?

Redshirt

It was the Halo commercial.

TheRevanchist

There was one you heard in the background. No one anyone has heard of. And the crowd really couldn’t give a shit.

Old School Zero

“I have studied acting at a high level and have put up with the industry enough to get paid work doing acting.”

“Great, now put your full talents on display in this show about a video game that will be shown on a shitty app but not over the air.”

King Hippo

Could be worse. – Tara the Tax Expert

ThePirateSloth

Hahaha why hasn’t the stadium cut the audio to that one speaker stand behind them yet

Redshirt

Just like the Bengals to tease me to watch the 3rd Quarter of this Snuff Film.

Col. Duke LaCross

Whatever song they are playing is annoying as fuck, buuuuut, it’s drowning out the CBS studio crew, so even trade off?

Nate Burleson is cool though.

LemonJello

Why does the studio show have to go live inside the stadium in the playoffs? I hope they all blow out their vocal cords trying to scream louder than the halftime show.

Fucking idiots.

ThePirateSloth

THIS IS AWESOME

ThePirateSloth

“MOMENTUM HAS CHANGED!#!$!!!”
– sports tweeters hot taeks

Senor Weaselo

Still only mostly dead!

LemonJello

Hill doesn’t get into the end zone?

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ballsofsteelandfury

That was a YUGE stop by Cincy. That should give them hope for the second half.

Spur

Andy Reid getting greedy. that was not a smart call

ArmedandHammered

Goddamnit, Hobbes is better at tackling than these Bengals.

Horatio Cornblower

To be faaaaaaaiiiiiiirrrrrrrrr, Hobbes hit like Jack Tatum

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Horatio Cornblower

I can’t see much reason to watch the second half of this when I have better options, such as hitting myself in the testicles with a ballpeen hammer.

Old School Zero

maybe try out a rubber mallet and a block of wood. Or two blocks of wood and a vise.

ArmedandHammered

Meat tenderizer and butcherblock board.

Horatio Cornblower

You guys have clearly put some thought into this.

ArmedandHammered

When your roommate has hidden the weed, drastic measures are called for.

clint greasewood

This women make me want to do my taxes early and touch myself.

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BugEyedBoo

She can handle my 1099 anytime.

(More like a W-2)

herodotus450

Why are canned chick peas so much bigger than dry, bagged ones? Really makes you think, huh?

ballsofsteelandfury

They’re called garbanzos, whitey. 😋

rockingdog

Found a funny;

friendship is beautiful because the closer you are, the less you do when you’re together. there is nothing more sacred than the “let’s watch 3 bad movies in a row” friend

ThePirateSloth

I saw Hannah Weddingham first. BACK AWAY EVERYONE

ballsofsteelandfury

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BugEyedBoo

Shame!

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LemonJello

Celebrity Big Brother: drop a 2000lb JDAM through the roof of that place, please.

Horatio Cornblower

Friends of ours had a son on the last ‘regular people’ one, so I watched a few episodes and, as God is my witness, it confirmed for me that the universe is better off without humanity.

Senor Weaselo

Sudden change?

Spur

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Last edited 2 years ago by Spur
Redshirt

Only mostly dead!

Gumbygirl

Woooooooo!