[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

Your Welp? Now What? Thursday Evening Open Thread

yeah right

/

, ,

 

banner image via

 

Evening everyone and welcome to the opening act of WWIII. Will try my best to remain apolitical here but just like everyone else today it’s not going to be easy.

Nope. Just wasn’t challenging enough to survive a, you know, GLOBAL FUCKING PANDEMIC! Now we’re treated to an outright brazen attack on a sovereign nation and a potential prelude to world-wide war.

If you think about it, folks around my age have truly seen the entire gamut of what this idiot fucked up world can offer. Wars, pandemics, moon-landings, assassinations and the evolution from the black & white TV to whatever-the-fuck kind of new electronic shit we’ve got out there now.

If you would have told 13 year-old me that one day everyone would have free access to unlimited porn of your complete choice and perversion right in your goddamn pocket? Well shit. I would have been fine enduring wars and pandemics and idiots becoming their own scientific and medical experts just for THAT!

Hell, I still might be.

For sporting action tonight:

The NBA returns to action following the All-Star break with a pretty full schedule.

There’s also College hoops-ball and other sporting shit as well.

Did you know you can look that shit up? ON THE MAGICAL PORN MACHINE THAT’S RIGHT IN YOUR POCKET???

 

Let us know how you’re holding up folks.

Right now it’s more important than ever to have someone to vent to.

Vent away in the comments!

5 7 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
103 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Mr. Ayo

.

Last edited 4 years ago by Mr. Ayo
0
Horatio Cornblower

“Nailed it, Ayo”

Blair Walsh

3
Brick Meathook

comment image

0
Mr. Ayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGw7gTve6cQ

1
Brick Meathook

comment image

1
Brick Meathook

comment image

2
Mr. Ayo

The simplicity shown in this photo explains why jet engines are so reliable.

0
Brick Meathook

It’s a J-58 engine from an SR-71:

comment image

1
Mr. Ayo

Like I said, totally reliable. Only a couple losses due to engine failures.

https://www.sr-71.org/blackbird/losses.php

0
WCS

Once again, if Russia continues, let’s send them my dirty socks. This will be over in ten minutes.

Last edited 4 years ago by WCS
3
yeah right

You’ll be on the same tribunal for war crimes.

3
Sharkbait

I just picked up my guitar again. I forgot how fun it is to play

3
litre_cola

I just started writing for Sunday. Missed it. Are you ready for Italian wines and dumb travel stories????

10
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yes

2
Sharkbait

YES!

2
yeah right

Fuck yes. Perfect segue from Sunday Gravy!

I’ve always loved you.

2
yeah right

TAJ and I are working on our first live performance song and it’s probably going to be this one.

Song to follow.

2
yeah right

Now I can play that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZPEUyiNcjA

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I can’t stop laughing about the email I just got from Universal Yums:

We are reaching out to inform you that our featured country for March is Russia. We began working on this box in the summer of 2021, before any of the recent geopolitical events occurred.

We understand that you may have mixed feelings about receiving a box from Russia, which is why for March, we are offering you an opportunity to switch your box to another country.

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

The email actually ends with more sensitivity than expected from a candy mailing company:

We are shocked and saddened by the actions taken by Russia’s political leader. Should you decide to receive the Russia box, we encourage you and your family to use it as an opportunity to discuss how the citizens of Russia, like all people of the world, are individuals who may or may not agree with their political leader’s actions.

3
litre_cola

Everyone, take a moment for Buster Puggsy vibe. One minute., deep breath. You are all good.

comment image

12
litre_cola

Thats a Fulham against fascism shirt iffya wanna kno

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve decided I don’t have any interest in attempting to survive in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, so in the event of a nuclear war I’ve got a garage and a gas-powered automobile. What’s everyone else’s plan?

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

/waits for brick to show up with autoerotic asphyxiation meme

1
Brick Meathook

comment image

7
Horatio Cornblower

Assuming I survive the initial blasts, (unlikely), I’m going full Call of Duty on everyone’s asses for as long as I can.

So, like 3 minutes before I shotgun my own foot off.

2
yeah right

Same as it ever was. Find a beach.

3
rockingdog

Also this russian invasion into Ukraine is Not Rocking. It’s like the opposite.
Stupid Putin.

5
rockingdog

Found a funny;

i think it’s so cool my ancestors survived plagues, famine, and wars so i could stare at screens until my head hurts

6
Horatio Cornblower

Taking some comfort that I have a relatively full beer fridge and live close enough to the Groton nuclear sub base that I can just chug most of the beer without having to reenact ‘The Road’ by doing something dumb like surviving

3
Gumbygirl

I was always relieved to think if the unthinkable happened, Navy bases were primary targets. I’d rather be a shadow on the sidewalk than any alternative.

3
SonOfSpam

Yeah the right strategy is to be at ground fucking zero.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Spending a year in New Britain prepared me for that.

3
litre_cola

Hi! Anyone else deflecting with weed, French wine and Afropop? I have a 8 month old pug to play with too! Plus Mighty Whitey! Distracted enough Litre?!?!?! Get a new job! Ok! Distracted enough?!?!?! Fuck.

Bot afropop but slick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UM76mULg7M

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m drinking Malbec and procrastinating work, does that count?

1
SonOfSpam

I’m drinking naughty non-keto beer and trying very hard to keep my double chin up because this goddamn thing affects me to a stupid degree even though I’m nowhere near actually affected. Having any kind of empathy is the fucking worst, especially for a misanthropist.

3
litre_cola

What kind? Seriously. I am Malbec adverse. Any good?

0
SonOfSpam

PugWineWeedTunes

That should be an FDA approved prescription.

1
Gumbygirl

Weed fo sho

facebook_1645763017134_6902830405818864514_25288666266550.jpg
1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why would you stay apolitical? The politics are straightforward–you support sovereignty and american values or you’re a republican who loves Putin more than America.

4
SonOfSpam

Seems obvious, but then you’re a commie racist who hates white people.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

– Latin America

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh America is not without sin, for sure, but if you believe in what we SHOULD be, then you can’t be all hard for Putin and spouting off bullshit about Biden being the “real enemy of America”

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Biden being an enemy is just crazy Republican talk. I don’t think anyone sane believes that.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

So just 20-28% of the country?

1
Horatio Cornblower

Look, you people were just going to waste that land on basic food necessities, and Dole needed to grow more bananas for export.

It’s just math, really.

2
Sharkbait

Let us know how you’re holding up folks.

Right now it’s more important than ever to have someone to vent to.

Vent away in the comments!

This shit right here is why our little corner of the internet is the best.

9
Redshirt

I’m approaching my 40th Birthday and I’m still single and haven’t done anything of value with my life.

But I’m still have friends, family, my health and job. Plus, I have this place that I can show up and share views, opinions and a few jokes.

All and all, I can’t complain much.

Eric Idle – “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life” – STEREO HQ – YouTube

5
ballsofsteelandfury

Look at it another way: you’re NOT divorced or unhappily married or stuck with someone you despise and kids that don’t appreciate you.

You can do what you want, when you want, and whichever way you want.

That’s a pretty good thing.

6
SonOfSpam

Good points as always, and “haven’t done anything of value” is crap. Redshirt is gonna be a superstar in marriage and/or in money soon.

My football team is better though.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

There are two other women in my life I considered marrying, one got pretty close. With the benefit of hindsight those would have been MASSIVE mistakes. There is a lot to learn from failed relationships that make you a better partner and a better you.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Fucking preach on that one.

2
King Hippo

Hey, the way I see it – it’s not like we were promised bread and roses. The literal son of God never got to have sex, but he did know torture and the deepest of betrayal.

If that’s what the son of God gets, why should I expect good things?

0
SonOfSpam

Bread and roses?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqML7WbOun8

2
Gumbygirl

They were a great band.

1
SonOfSpam

Yeah, so bummed Pat DiNizio died.

1
Horatio Cornblower

If you don’t think Mary Magdalene got to see The Holy Ghost a time or two then you are not reading between the lines well at all.

3
SonOfSpam

Are you saying “getting nailed” happened with Jesus more than once?

3
Horatio Cornblower

I certainly hope so. Guy went the limit for us, (well, not the (DELETED) that’s for sure!), the least his Old Man could have done was get him laid a couple of times.

3
litre_cola

The.best.

2
Redshirt

If Putin is smart, he won’t openly attack America.

History has shown that if America is directly attacked, Americans will react with fury and seek out revenge (War of 1812, Spanish-American War, WW1, WW2, 9/11).

His has also shown that if America isn’t directly attacked, Americans won’t be as bloodthirsty and will soon tire of any war (Korea, Vietnam, Iraq War, War in Afghanistan).

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Very true. We didn’t give a fuck about WW2 until Pearl Harbor.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

I honestly think that Putin and Biden discussed this a few weeks back when they met. That’s why we’re only doing sanctions and nothing else.

1
SonOfSpam

We’re not getting into a shooting war with Russia; HOWEVER, it’s possible NATO forces (including us) could kill a few Russkies if they get stupid and go after Poland or Romania or what have you.

Feel even more strongly than yesterday than this is going (relatively) poorly and surprisingly so for Putin, and it ain’t gonna end well for him. Just hope the loss of life is as minimal as possible before he gets Mussolini’d.

3
litre_cola

I hate Romania. I have been about, and it is last on the ranking. I had 2 really cool experiences there too. Fuck Romania.

2
SonOfSpam

lol you tried to fuck nadia comaneci and bart conner cockblocked you

6
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I give this joke a 10

6
Horatio Cornblower

Look man, just because Vlad Dracula knocks on your 5th floor hostel window at 3:00 am doesn’t mean you have to let him in.

That’s in you, not Romania.

3
SonOfSpam

That documentary Hostel taught me a lot.

3
Horatio Cornblower

I already knew that attractive women in bars were lying about why they were talking to me.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I like the implication of this typo

1
Redshirt

True funny thing happened. When I woke up, the internet was out. Then 30 minutes later, the power went out.

I went, “I guess that Bolshevik comment I make last night was a step too far for Putin.”

2
Redshirt

.

97A69929-4E8D-4563-AF09-AADAD0CE0C53.jpeg
1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Anyone who utters the slightest word of praise of Putin right now is a traitor to everything the United States stands – or has ever hoped to stand – for.

8
Redshirt

The only praise I can think of giving Putin is reports are he wants to install a Puppet Government instead of completely take over Ukraine. Which is in the same level of praise as, “He may be a meth dealer, but he does know how to find the best deal in cold medicine!” and “My wife may be cheating on me with my parents but at least she’s making an effort to spend time with the in-laws.”

Last edited 4 years ago by Redshirt
2
ballsofsteelandfury

That makes the most sense and is why I think the Hitler comparison is not correct.

Running a country you’ve invaded is not something easy.

0
SonOfSpam

“Tell me about it”

-Dubya, who really should just shut the fuck up right now

1
WCS

Princess left me today. I’m just not boyfriend/husband material. I’m a great dad, but, I have a tendency to alienate everyone I fall in love with.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m sorry to hear that.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oof. Sorry to hear it.

2
Redshirt

She was ungrateful! She was a whore! You were too good for her! She had a ManyVids page involving farm animals and a rat named Cheesy! And…I didn’t know you had a girlfriend. I’m sorry.

Seriously, though, I’m sorry to hear that.

Christopher Titus – Proof That God’s Real – Love is Evol – YouTube

4
Sharkbait

Fuck man, thats awful

2
King Hippo

This is kind of how I am, too. I hate it, but accept it. Hang in there, imaginary yinzer pal.

2
Mr. Ayo

Didn’t you just knock her up?

4
ballsofsteelandfury 
https://royalhangers.com/
6
WCS

Yep. Just my luck.

1
SonOfSpam

Sorry man, please take care of yourself.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shit happens. Most people never even date a princess, let alone become affianced, however temporary. You’ll always have the crown jewels.

2
Horatio Cornblower

On the bright side, now may not be the best time to be connected to European royalty.

4
Gumbygirl

Oh, I am sorry. You doing ok?

1
TheRevanchist

I’ve been taking up porn way too much in the 2 days. It helps, though. Kind of a win for me?

1
Redshirt

There’s an upper limit?

2
SonOfSpam

There is not.

0
Horatio Cornblower

“There’s a lower limit!?”

M. Gaetz

0
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m the one that writes an annual post about the AVN Awards. What do you think is my perspective on this?

0
TheRevanchist

I have never been to the awards show, but I have been to the convention floor and had a general good time. It happens every year right at my wife’s bday. Very convenient trip to Vegas!

1
WCS

We’re so fucking fucked I have no other fucking words to fucking explain how the fuck I’m fucking feeling.

2
yeah right

Well fuck!

1
King Hippo

what he said

1
ballsofsteelandfury

No, we are not. Biden has already said we’re not fighting the Russians and we’re not starting WW3.

Ukraine is fucked. Not us.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Also, polls are already out saying that the vast majority of Americans do not want to send troops or get involved.

0
Redshirt

Let it go fuck it all – YouTube

0
103
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x